I'd love to hear what other people's experiences have been coaching their own kid's team. I coached a couple baseball teams and basketball team for my older some during middle school years - those when pretty well/not much unnecessary drama. Coaching my younger son's basketball team is a different story. If I even call him for a travel in scrimmage, he won't talk to me the rest of the night because he thinks I'm being harder on him than the other kids. Just interesting how different the experiences can be one kid to the next.
Anyone else coach your kid's team?
- Thread starter General Tso
- Start date
I stopped coaching my younger daughter her senior year before one of us murdered the other.
I coached my kid’s youth football team from 3rd-6th grade. Went well. I think it’s get’s harder to coach your own kid as they get older, but that’s just my opinion.
Always coached my kids in youth sports and was harder on them than the other kids but those other kids parents thought I was always favoring my kid. I’d laugh and offer them the reigns to put the line up in and coach the team if they thought they could do it better or have them sign up to coach the next season. They never did but you always have that one set of parents that felt their kid was the best and got slighted. Can’t make everyone happy so just move on and keep coaching the kids as best you can.
I’ve coached soccer, flag football and basketball teams for my kids.
It’s been a mixed bag of enjoyment.
You are correct though, I’m way harder on my kids than the others with is natural. Part of the reason coaches kids are typically one of the better players.
It’s been a mixed bag of enjoyment.
You are correct though, I’m way harder on my kids than the others with is natural. Part of the reason coaches kids are typically one of the better players.
I coached both of my sons through the years, mostly in soccer and baseball. I tried to treat them the same as I did any other kid on the team. A times I was probably harder on them than some of the others, especially if they were goofing off; that was easily explained to them by pointing out that if I let them get away with stuff, the other kids would ramp up the clowning around. If I got on them for doing something dumb on-field & they asked why I got on them more than some of the other kids, I'd explain that it was because I watch games a lot with them, we discuss what's going on, and because they've been familiar with that type of play I expect them to react better than I do kids whose fathers don't watch games with them (plus I could fall back on "you're one of the better players on the team - I have higher expectations for you than I do for General Tso's kid, who I know is not capable of making that play).
Depends on the kid and the parent but it can work.
I remember hearing joe montana talk about having to pay some guy that never played much after juco to coach his kid. Kid would not listen to joe.
I coached my son's Little League team from Minors through Majors along with another dad. He also played on a club team I helped with at practices but two other really good baseball guys coached it. It was always his least favorite sport and he knew he wasn't playing in high school, so he gave that up in 8th grade. I coached his 5th/6th grade tackle football teams, that was overall a great experience. And I always coached his AAU basketball team from 4th grade - 8th grade. That was overall great too, lot of good memories from tournaments and I miss those days. I coached my daughter's basketball team from 6th-8th grade and had a good experience there with very supportive parents. My daughter only played a couple years of softball and I was assistant coach, she was really into dance and soccer and neither of those do I have any clue (watching her soccer in high school was a blast though), so I didn't coach.
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I have coached youth football, basketball, and baseball teams. It is normal to have your own child respond to other coaches better. I usually just don’t say a whole lot to my kids and let the other coaches do more of coaching to them. It works out well, and I do the same for their kids so they don’t have to say too much to their own kid.
After 15 years of coaching, flag football, tackle football, baseball and basketball, I couldn’t be more happy than I am now. Watching from the stands. You can usually make about 75% of parents happy. The other 25% are unbearable and never volunteer to coach or help.
I coach my 11 year-old’s little league baseball team, but not his USSSA team. No thanks. It’s probably similar to most people in that I’m a little harder on him than the other kids. He’s not lazy or a slacker at all, so I’ve never had to worry about him not working hard. It’s more about his attitude when he strikes out or makes a mistake in the field. He’s VERY hard on himself and occasionally throws his helmet in the dugout or sits on the bench sulking. I’m always telling him to flush it down the toilet, that we need his head in the game for what’s coming next, and that even the big leaguers make mistakes … all the usual coach speak. My favorite is reminding him Babe Ruth (his favorite baseball player) was only successful 3 out of every 10 at bats. Sometimes he shoots daggers at me with his eyes, and sometimes he listens and forgets about it.
Also, since coaching little league is on a volunteer basis and they usually have to beg people to coach, you’re damn right I’m having him hit cleanup all season … and you’re damn right I’m letting him pitch, catch, and play shortstop all season … and you’re damn right I’m putting him on the all-star team. Daddy ball at its finest! In all seriousness, he deserves all that.
I also coached his basketball team last year, but he’s getting to the age where he needs coaching from someone who knows more about basketball than I do … and that’s what he’s getting this year.
Have never coached his football team.
I also coach my youngest son’s t-ball team, which feels more like a babysitting gig. Still, I enjoy it.
Also, since coaching little league is on a volunteer basis and they usually have to beg people to coach, you’re damn right I’m having him hit cleanup all season … and you’re damn right I’m letting him pitch, catch, and play shortstop all season … and you’re damn right I’m putting him on the all-star team. Daddy ball at its finest! In all seriousness, he deserves all that.
I also coached his basketball team last year, but he’s getting to the age where he needs coaching from someone who knows more about basketball than I do … and that’s what he’s getting this year.
Have never coached his football team.
I also coach my youngest son’s t-ball team, which feels more like a babysitting gig. Still, I enjoy it.
Had the same experience coaching my son’s AAU basketball team from 3rd - 6th grade. Kids were great but had a couple parents who had some conceptual issues. The team developed in to a great unit and finished 36-3 our last year. Nothing but respect for parents willing to coach youth teams ... and the refs and officials as well.
I never coached my kids teams because I know I would be harder and didn't want them to experience that. I do give honest assessments of their game performances at times.
Never coached my kids.
But, I have nothing but respect for the parents that coach kids. Dealing with the kids would be rewarding. The parents - not so much.
But, I have nothing but respect for the parents that coach kids. Dealing with the kids would be rewarding. The parents - not so much.
I think its best for the kids to get some coaching from a parent and some not from a parent. They will have many different types of authority figures in the future and its best for them to receive coaching for different styles. I'm all about volunteering my time to coach, but I'll take a sport off or two, probably best for them and me. I'll always help with the scoreboard/book or base coach if I'm not a main coach, whatever is needed.
I coached soccer for all my kids up to middle school level. I had played the sport for a long time. I enjoyed the little kid stuff. Good times. I did it for AYSO mostly, so no travel team type stuff.
That's a ton of games. Nothing like that when when me and my siblings played AAU
I've coached a lot of baseball with my boys and never had that experience. But I've seen that with other kids and dads I've coached with.
I've seen these:
Kid thinks their parent is harder on them.
Parent actually IS harder on their kid
Parent is Easier on their kid
The third caused the most issue.
The first is just amusing to observe.
I've seen these:
Kid thinks their parent is harder on them.
Parent actually IS harder on their kid
Parent is Easier on their kid
The third caused the most issue.
The first is just amusing to observe.
Coached my three kids (1 boy, 2 girls) in soccer, baseball, softball and basketball. Only from kindergarten through 5th grade, though. I enjoyed that age group because of the focus on fundamentals and developing a love of the game.
Around 5-6th grade, though, it’s time to get a little more serious about preparation and performance and being competitive. And that’s the point where I always excused myself. I’m very competitive by nature and my expectations of the kids went up considerably around that age. That’s a recipe for disaster if the kids don’t have the same mindset.
I pushed my girls a little harder than I did my son, simply based on their own drive/competitive nature. You generally get a feel for which kids will benefit from getting pushed a little harder during practice and which ones are just there because their friends are, or parents made them, etc.
Around 5-6th grade, though, it’s time to get a little more serious about preparation and performance and being competitive. And that’s the point where I always excused myself. I’m very competitive by nature and my expectations of the kids went up considerably around that age. That’s a recipe for disaster if the kids don’t have the same mindset.
I pushed my girls a little harder than I did my son, simply based on their own drive/competitive nature. You generally get a feel for which kids will benefit from getting pushed a little harder during practice and which ones are just there because their friends are, or parents made them, etc.
I coached my older son's baseball team with little issue. When I coached my younger son (the one year I coached him), however, parents were complaining that I was having their 8 and 9 year olds hitting off a tee and soft toss instead of only having one kid at a time stand at the plate and swing wildly at pitches coming in that were nowhere near the strike zone. Now, they did hit off live pitchers, one at a time, in the cage while the rest of the team was doing something else.
For some reason, they thought it wasn't helping little Johnny at all to hit off a tee if they weren't going to do it in a game.
FTR, my son was one of two on that team that lettered at all in HS, and he started for 4 years. The rest of the kids got crap coaching for years before getting to HS and most quit before HS.
For some reason, they thought it wasn't helping little Johnny at all to hit off a tee if they weren't going to do it in a game.
FTR, my son was one of two on that team that lettered at all in HS, and he started for 4 years. The rest of the kids got crap coaching for years before getting to HS and most quit before HS.
I have a 9 year old and a 6 year old. I’ve been one of the main coaches for baseball and basketball for the oldest one since he was about 4 or 5. Due to scheduling conflicts, I can’t be a main coach for the younger one but help where possible.
In the last year or so, I’ve determined that 3rd grade is about the time for me to become involved so I help less with the younger one’s teams. Until that age, there just seem to be too many kids that can’t pay any attention, don’t want to be there and parents that use sports to babysit their kids while they sit on their ass and watch. I don’t have time or patience for that. But if kids are there to learn and have fun, I’m all for it and 3rd grade seems to be about the right time.
In the last year or so, I’ve determined that 3rd grade is about the time for me to become involved so I help less with the younger one’s teams. Until that age, there just seem to be too many kids that can’t pay any attention, don’t want to be there and parents that use sports to babysit their kids while they sit on their ass and watch. I don’t have time or patience for that. But if kids are there to learn and have fun, I’m all for it and 3rd grade seems to be about the right time.
Coached baseball through Babe Ruth. Oldest son's teams were easy as they were uber talented. Good kids as well. Youngest son's teams were good too but they were spazzes so had to treat them a bit differently.
Always made sure to have fun while taking care of business.
Always made sure to have fun while taking care of business.
I coached my kids a few times over the years when there was no other coach to do it. Never in anything that much resembled competitive leagues of kids/parents with big dreams. Not too much drama involved at that level. I always explained to my son that I didn't coach his teams like other dads because I only know so much about any sport from a coaching perspective, and what I know I'm already telling/teaching him, so a year of me coaching him is a year he's not really learning anything new.
That said, one of his last years in sports I coached his basketball team in a church league at some random megachurch that had basketball for one year later than most other youth sports, I think it was 11/12 year olds. Where I am, it's tough to find sports leagues for middle school aged kids, you either make your middle school team or you're pretty much done. But this one mega church had basketball to 12. We played in several different megachurch leagues (that we were never a member of) with the kids over the years, but not this one.
So, after several emails from the director saying they would have to cancel the U12 season if they didn't get coaches, I volunteered. I know basketball decently, but not really enough to coach that age, but it was either that or he wouldn't get to play. So I volunteered to coach, and the league was set.
A few days before the first practice, the director emails all the coaches to fill out some basic insurance info or whatever, but also a "declaration of faith." Every coach had to initial each section and sign like a seven page document enumerating their Christian beliefs, evangelical flavor. There was nothing about proselytizing to the kids, but you had to sign off on all these doctrinal things you believed in as a Christian to be allowed to coach.
WTF? I'd never heard of such a thing. I'm Christian, but I'm a practicing Catholic, and it rubbed me the wrong way, so I just ignored it, until I got a stern email that I had to have it in. So I looked at it, and the vast majority of it were things that I could comfortably attest too without being in conflict with my Catholic faith no problem. But there were two bullet points that were not. So I was about to be blackballed out of coaching, my son's team not having a coach, etc.
So I eventually initialed all but those two, and sent back an email explaining that as a Catholic I was confident I met their requirements as a Christian, but I could not initial Section 4, article 2, point 6, and Section 13, subsection B, but everything else was initialed. And if that wasn't good enough I wouldn't be able to coach. Then the night before the first practice I got the email, "Ok fine, see you tomorrow."
The best thing was that I got assigned a group of total maniacs that were obnoxious, impossible to control, but really good little ballplayers, and we dominated the league to the championship. I couldn't control or coach them in any meaningful way, and after about the second practice all I would do it run loose ball drills, let them scrimmage, and play whatever that game is with two balls and you have to make a basket before the guy after you makes a basket. But we blew out everyone.
That said, one of his last years in sports I coached his basketball team in a church league at some random megachurch that had basketball for one year later than most other youth sports, I think it was 11/12 year olds. Where I am, it's tough to find sports leagues for middle school aged kids, you either make your middle school team or you're pretty much done. But this one mega church had basketball to 12. We played in several different megachurch leagues (that we were never a member of) with the kids over the years, but not this one.
So, after several emails from the director saying they would have to cancel the U12 season if they didn't get coaches, I volunteered. I know basketball decently, but not really enough to coach that age, but it was either that or he wouldn't get to play. So I volunteered to coach, and the league was set.
A few days before the first practice, the director emails all the coaches to fill out some basic insurance info or whatever, but also a "declaration of faith." Every coach had to initial each section and sign like a seven page document enumerating their Christian beliefs, evangelical flavor. There was nothing about proselytizing to the kids, but you had to sign off on all these doctrinal things you believed in as a Christian to be allowed to coach.
WTF? I'd never heard of such a thing. I'm Christian, but I'm a practicing Catholic, and it rubbed me the wrong way, so I just ignored it, until I got a stern email that I had to have it in. So I looked at it, and the vast majority of it were things that I could comfortably attest too without being in conflict with my Catholic faith no problem. But there were two bullet points that were not. So I was about to be blackballed out of coaching, my son's team not having a coach, etc.
So I eventually initialed all but those two, and sent back an email explaining that as a Catholic I was confident I met their requirements as a Christian, but I could not initial Section 4, article 2, point 6, and Section 13, subsection B, but everything else was initialed. And if that wasn't good enough I wouldn't be able to coach. Then the night before the first practice I got the email, "Ok fine, see you tomorrow."
The best thing was that I got assigned a group of total maniacs that were obnoxious, impossible to control, but really good little ballplayers, and we dominated the league to the championship. I couldn't control or coach them in any meaningful way, and after about the second practice all I would do it run loose ball drills, let them scrimmage, and play whatever that game is with two balls and you have to make a basket before the guy after you makes a basket. But we blew out everyone.
My oldest son is in 9th grade and just went through a full varsity football season with me as his HC. He certainly gets the shit end of the stick more than not. I tell him, "Be ready to get yelled at more than everyone else and see some kids you know you're better than get reps that you should be getting. But I will always tell you how good you do on the ride home. And I will never prevent you from being as great as you can be."
He gets it. But his friends and teammates have also figured it out. Mid-season the seniors came to me and said "Coach, you need to play your son. He's better than every 10th and most 11th graders. We know what you're doing but you don't have to." I told them that it's just how the world works.
He gets it. But his friends and teammates have also figured it out. Mid-season the seniors came to me and said "Coach, you need to play your son. He's better than every 10th and most 11th graders. We know what you're doing but you don't have to." I told them that it's just how the world works.
I coached 10 years and hung it up after our youngest aged out last year. I really feel like I got the hang of it in year 6 or 7......practice planning was never very difficult and I felt I always ran an efficient practice. The last few years I really focused on the mental side of the game and felt the girls really responded. We beat some teams we had no business competing w/......It was really enjoyable and I really miss it.........
I’ve coached all of my kids, mostly in baseball. It was mostly good and a lot of the time, I’d be coaching with other dads and we’d each let one of the other coaches do most of the stuff with our own sons for that very reason.
With my oldest, I probably held him back a bit, as I was not going to be that dad putting my kid on the mound and SS and batting him 3rd. As a teen, he became that kid and the other coaches elevated him in the lineup/rotation.
In some ways, coaching my middle was my favorite. He’s not at all athletic and was really only out there to have fun and be part of the team. Minimum play player and he was happy with that until he stopped playing at 11. That left me free to just coach and almost be a non-dad coach.
With my youngest, I coached him at the young ages, but his age 9 season was the last time I really coached him. I wanted to step back and let him be coached by others, plus my oldest was into more travel and HS baseball at that point.
I love coaching in general and it was great to coach my kids. We mostly bonded over it and it‘s brought years of great memories.
We coached our daughter for many years in softball before she quit in high school after several injury rehabs. We weren't harder on her because she was already harder on herself than anyone.
It's always hard to balance winning vs playing everyone but we did our best. I can only remember one or two parents who complained about playing time but they were delusional. We had a special ed girl on our team that really couldn't throw or catch and we played her every game. But her mom was upset that we didn't put her in the infield very often. Honestly we were worried about her safety. Balls coming off modern bats are pretty hot and if you can't catch you run the risk of taking one to the face.
Another girl was decent but didn't show up to many practices and when she did she bitched/moaned and gave little effort. We told her mom "if she wants to play she has to practice."
We were sad to see our daughter's playing days come to an end but I was ready to be done coaching. We were looking forward to HS ball where parents aren't allowed near practices and have to behave at games.
It's always hard to balance winning vs playing everyone but we did our best. I can only remember one or two parents who complained about playing time but they were delusional. We had a special ed girl on our team that really couldn't throw or catch and we played her every game. But her mom was upset that we didn't put her in the infield very often. Honestly we were worried about her safety. Balls coming off modern bats are pretty hot and if you can't catch you run the risk of taking one to the face.
Another girl was decent but didn't show up to many practices and when she did she bitched/moaned and gave little effort. We told her mom "if she wants to play she has to practice."
We were sad to see our daughter's playing days come to an end but I was ready to be done coaching. We were looking forward to HS ball where parents aren't allowed near practices and have to behave at games.
Two things:
1 you said balls
2 what was in conflict with your Catholic faith? (Pure curiousity)
1) The Bible is the inspired and inerrant Word of God, the only infallible rule of faith and
practice.
2) You also acknowledge _______'s Statement of Beliefs and
acknowledge that you are a member in good standing of an evangelical, Bible believing
church.
