Best way to handle this family situation?

ihhawk

HR Legend
Gold Member
Feb 4, 2004
19,426
15,346
113
Fort Lauderdale
First, no pictures of my mom and sister. You wouldn’t want them anyway.

over the past year my fiancé and I have remodeled the upstairs guest room and bathroom of my parents old farm house. It hasn’t been used for 25 years and they had junk stored in the room. We wanted a larger guest room and our own bathroom because we travel up to Iowa 4 times a year now.

the renovation took all year. I spent about 4 grand on new windows, plumbing, paint, electrical. We finished this last trip. It looks amazing.

So my fiancé did one of those time lapse videos on Instagram showing the progress. It was a great video that was shared on some of the big time IG pages.

so yesterday my dad text me that my mom was pissed that we posted the time lapse video and that I should call her. I called my dad and he said that the family is pissed because it showed the room before it was remodeled and my mom doesn’t want to be judged.

I don’t know what to do. I know my **** of a sister is the one driving this. Do I confront everyone ? I don’t think I should apologize.
Thoughts

to make it clear, this was an upstairs bedroom with a small bathroom attached that has not been used in 25 years. My dad had not been upstairs in their house in 25 years
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: millah_22

noleclone2

HR Legend
May 4, 2015
12,948
37,242
113
Call your mom. Talk it out and explain nobody is judging her and explain how hard you worked. She will likely calm down. You can also find out if sis was behind it and then handle that one with another call.

Make sure the post makes it clear this was just one older unused room in the house.
 

LesClaypool

HR Heisman
Jan 12, 2004
6,884
17,187
113
Billy Madison starts the day at a 10, it appears.
45hais.jpg
 

hawkcub

HR Legend
Jul 18, 2005
14,176
4,304
113
Explain your side to your mom. Ask why "everyone" is upset. She will probably let it slip sister is behind it. If she won't budge take it down. After all it is their house and your mom.

If you find out it's the sister's doing tell her to go F herself. If it makes you feel better. Unfortunately she probably will go crying to mommy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: goldmom

gohawks50

HR Heisman
Gold Member
Dec 28, 2010
8,152
13,625
113
Your mom is probably upset because in the before pictures the room looks like she hasn't taken care of it for years. There is nothing wrong with that, but in her mind it means she hasn't been doing her job. My mom was like that. She was always worried about what other people would think. I don't think you sister necessarily had anything to do with it. Apologize to your mom. Explain to her that your intention was not to hurt her feelings, but to show the transformation. The most import thing is to make things right with your mom even if you didn't do anything wrong. Someday she won't be here anymore and little disagreements like this one will seem silly.
 

MepoDawg#

HR Legend
Gold Member
Oct 29, 2012
15,080
15,315
113
Why does it have to be shared with the world? Just enjoy the remodel and live life. Your fiancé can share pics with friends without the general public seeing.

I don’t get the whole share every aspect of your life on social media. Those people don’t care, if they did they’d be in your life without social media. Try it some time. I took my personal info (birthday etc.) off social media for several reasons. Found out quick how many people truly care and actually know my birthday.
 

LunchBox50

HR All-American
Sep 10, 2009
4,040
2,640
113
Tell your fiancé to stop being an attention whore and get off Instagram, nothing good comes from it, Facebook, etc
Did you do the project so your life is better when you visit, or did you do it to be Chip and JoJo on social media? If your mom wants it taken down, take it down. It’s her home. If there’s still a debate, then clearly wanting to be an attention whore — even if it’s just a small amount — was always there.
 

ihhawk

HR Legend
Gold Member
Feb 4, 2004
19,426
15,346
113
Fort Lauderdale
Did you do the project so your life is better when you visit, or did you do it to be Chip and JoJo on social media? If your mom wants it taken down, take it down. It’s her home. If there’s still a debate, then clearly wanting to be an attention whore — even if it’s just a small amount — was always there.
We did it so that we had a bigger room to stay in and it allowed for my brothers family to be there at the same time too. They were only using the down stairs guest room and the bathroom. Imagine trying to have 11 people stay in a house with only 1 bathroom.

I sure the hell didn’t spend all that time and money for my fiancé’s 200 IG followers to give likes
 
  • Like
Reactions: torbee

ihhawk

HR Legend
Gold Member
Feb 4, 2004
19,426
15,346
113
Fort Lauderdale
Take the pics down. Apologize.

Also, I'm sure your sister appreciates you fixing up that room for whomever she brings over to stay.
My sister lives 2 miles away.

I bought my mom a new fridge for Christmas. My siblings complained that they had to help
Clean out the old one and move it. That’s the type of people I’m siblings with
 

NoleATL

HR Legend
Gold Member
Jul 11, 2007
28,821
26,039
113
Take down the post and apologize to your mom that she didn't do her job in keeping the house worthy of good christians. Just kidding about the last part... just take it down and apologize. At some point she'll see she was being unreasonable or unreasonably influenced by your b*tch sister.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gimmered and ihhawk

ihhawk

HR Legend
Gold Member
Feb 4, 2004
19,426
15,346
113
Fort Lauderdale
Explain your side to your mom. Ask why "everyone" is upset. She will probably let it slip sister is behind it. If she won't budge take it down. After all it is their house and your mom.

If you find out it's the sister's doing tell her to go F herself. If it makes you feel better. Unfortunately she probably will go crying to mommy.
My sister is the only One that has an Instagram account and is friends with my fiancé. It was pretty easy to see where this started
 

goldmom

HR Legend
Mar 29, 2002
17,687
20,557
113
Apologize to Mom and then privately tell your sister she's a troublemaking bitter little witch. She might go running to Mommy with that but deny you said anything. Act very hurt and confused and say you just don't understand why your sister would say such a thing after you spent $4K to do something nice for Mom and Dad and hint that sister might just be jealous.

I'm experienced in these things. Mom always liked me best so I had to be. 😈
 

gohawks50

HR Heisman
Gold Member
Dec 28, 2010
8,152
13,625
113
My sister is the only One that has an Instagram account and is friends with my fiancé. It was pretty easy to see where this started
Maybe she showed your mom because she thought it looked good, just like your fiance. It's possible she didn't anticipate your mom being upset anymore than you did.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ryan2144

HawkCapt1912

HR All-American
Oct 3, 2001
3,374
1,317
113
Former DBQer in WDM
First, no pictures of my mom and sister. You wouldn’t want them anyway.

over the past year my fiancé and I have remodeled the upstairs guest room and bathroom of my parents old farm house. It hasn’t been used for 25 years and they had junk stored in the room. We wanted a larger guest room and our own bathroom because we travel up to Iowa 4 times a year now.

the renovation took all year. I spent about 4 grand on new windows, plumbing, paint, electrical. We finished this last trip. It looks amazing.

So my fiancé did one of those time lapse videos on Instagram showing the progress. It was a great video that was shared on some of the big time IG pages.

so yesterday my dad text me that my mom was pissed that we posted the time lapse video and that I should call her. I called my dad and he said that the family is pissed because it showed the room before it was remodeled and my mom doesn’t want to be judged.

I don’t know what to do. I know my **** of a sister is the one driving this. Do I confront everyone ? I don’t think I should apologize.
Thoughts

to make it clear, this was an upstairs bedroom with a small bathroom attached that has not been used in 25 years. My dad had not been upstairs in their house in 25 years
Where is this place?
 

Latest posts