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confession that should get your Iowa card revoked

You never had a card in the first place.
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Don't even know what detasseling is.

Never been to Iowa.
There are a lot of people on this board who probably got their first W-2 from detasseling. I'm myself not sure on the specifics, but the goal is to remove tassels from selected rows of corn to make them female plants.
 

To be fair, Sterzings are more of a SE Iowa thing than a state-wide thing. Luckily Hy-Vee carries them most of the time up here in Minnesota so I can still get them.


For me, as an Eastern Iowan, anything more than 30 miles west of Iowa City sucks (Excluding DM and even that can be a stretch in many areas).
 
Maid-Rite sandwiches are neither made nor are they right.


1. They cannot even spell “made” and “right” correctly.
2. They are not made. The loose meat is flung on a crappy bun. Laziest cooking ever.
3. There is zero flavor. Negative flavor actually. The only way to make your taste buds register a signal to your brain is to add condiments or pickles/tomato. This is what is served in Hell for every meal.

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Yep.

Maid Rites, when perfect, with a lot of mustard, and fresh bread, are at best okay.

The Drake Relays are boring.

Pie shakes are overrated.
 
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I like going for a few hours drinking a bunch of beers and people watch as I drink said beers. You see lots of interesting things. Not all that interested in seeing all the other stuff.

About every fifth year, I forget that I hate it and we go for a day. Funnel cake makes that mistake tolerable.

Hawkbirch is gonna claim next she ain’t an East sider...and never “walked the fence”!
:eek:

My dad and grandparents are proud east siders but I am not. I don't know what "walk the fence" is.

I don't give a shit about Hawkeye football.

I hate you. That is all. :D But seriously, I hate you.
 
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Never been to George the Chili King or Latin King for that matter.

My school didn’t have wrestling.

I also think Pagliai’s pizza sucks
 
since we are confessing...I accidentally deleted my @Moral original of drunk Birch on a pile of Miller Lite cans.
 
If you don’t have friends, relatives, or business, Iowa doesn’t have a single thing worth visiting.

Yeah I said it.
That's kinda what makes Iowa special to those from the state... no distractions, focus on family and work, keep things simple. We don't need to be in an arms race with other states.
 
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