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Describe the last full on hit to the body you took.

lucas80

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Jan 30, 2008
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The wife and I have been hiking in southern Indiana for a few days and it’s been misty ever since we arrived. We approached a wooden footbridge yesterday, and even while using extreme caution and holding the hand rail I slipped. Not just a slight slip, I went airborne. I at least had the presence of mind to tuck in my outstretched arm so I didn’t break it by trying to break my fall. The wife asked me if I was okay as I gurgled our, “Fuuuuu***”!
My right shoulder and right hip are bruised and aching. The last time I took a hit like this was when former Iowa TE Scott Slutzker steamrolled me while playing pick up basketball at the Fieldhouse. I wasn’t even trying to take a charge. He just ran over me for the fun of it.
Go.
 
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Turned to talk to someone and walked straight into a light pole a couple years ago. It was like everything except my head made contact. Didn’t hurt a ton but stunned me for a few seconds.
 
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Crashed my road bike into a tree a couple months back. Wind out of me, disoriented, blood all over me. Got up as fast as I could but two gals ending up seeing me crash. Sore for a couple weeks.

The good news is that the frame survived unscathed.
 
I tripped and fell climbing down the channel rip rap on the Mississippi. August 8th, 2012. I was able to more or less hop one leg at a time in the narrow, curving path to stay upright all the way down (about a 20 foot vertical drop, maybe a 60 degree slope) to where the actual river bank was...then it leveled at the water. Unfortunately, momentum could not be stopped - and I was carrying two poles and a tackle box (desperately trying to save them in the process).

I was lucky to turn my body to avoid hitting some good sized rocks in my path at the wing dam we were climbing down to. Unfortunately the entire shoreline was covered with dead zebra mussel shells, which are more or less dull razor blades.

I hit the shore hard - half in water, half out.

Broken left wrist, broken bone in left hand, and bruised more or less over the entire left side of my body. And maybe a total of 50 cuts along the entire area, many which carved out chunks of flesh as my body hit the mussel shells.

When my doctor saw me the following Monday, she took one look and turned to her nurse telling her "this is going to take a few hours, better cancel the rest of the morning."

For a full month I felt like I had been hit by a truck.
 
The wife and I have been hiking in southern Indiana for a few days and it’s been misty ever since we arrived. We approached a wooden footbridge yesterday, and even while using extreme caution and holding the hand rail I slipped. Not just a slight slip, I went airborne. I at least had the presence of mind to tuck in my outstretched arm so I didn’t break it by trying to break my fall. The wife asked me if I was okay as I gurgled our, “Fuuuuu***”!
My right shoulder and right hip are bruised and aching. The last time I took a hit like this was when former Iowa TE Scott Slutzker steamrolled me while playing pick up basketball at the Fieldhouse. I wasn’t even trying to take a charge. He just ran over me for the fun of it.
Go.
About 2 years ago I was heading upstairs to bed. I may or may not have too many adult beverages. I missed a step and lost my balance and fell backward down half a flight of stairs. Thank god the stairs are carpeted. Put a huge hole in the drywall though at the bottom of the stairs and I had massive bruising of my back, butt, and ego.
 
I slipped walking down the stairs in our house a few months back. Hit pretty hard but didn't roll all the way down, which was nice. Ended up with some bruising but that was it.

Best I took as an adult was at FSU during exams. We used to go out during exam week and play football at night at the IM fields to blow off some steam. Was supposed to be touch...
We would throw the ball for kick-offs. I was hauling ass down field and reached out and got a hand on the guy with the ball. One of my brothers friends who was pure Seminole and built like a tank blind sided me and sent me spinning. When I managed to get up I had a perfect circle of cloth from the guys tshirt in my hand. Had got hit so hard it tore a hole in the shirt where I was holding it. Dude was just standing over me and laughing. And he liked me. I tried to put a similar lick on him later than night but he outweighed me by 50lbs and I just bounced off him and he laughed again.

mccown.gif
 
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Back in high school a group of us neighborhood boys would get together for a football game. There was maybe 4 on each team on a good day. It was tackle but it never really was terribly rough, we'd usually grab the other guy and wrap him up and spin until we all went to the ground.

Some of the players from the high school team heard we played and said they'd stop out. We never took them seriously but one afternoon a few of them came. We formed teams and got to playing. About the 3rd play in I find myself running with the ball, the high school star linebacker hit me from the side at full speed. It felt like I hit the ground after being dropped from a plane. Wind knocked out of me, stunned. Whole body hurt. They all stood around me looking. I assumed that would be the last thing I'd see before I saw the white light. I eventually got up and gutted out the rest of the game but I didn't take the ball nor move very fast. I was sore for about 3 days.

/csb
 
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Put my motorcycle down on a county blacktop this spring. Couple broken ribs, sprained ankle. All in all could have been so much worse but I was a sore mofo for about 6 weeks
 
Summer 2018 I was intoxicated riding my bike down the 606 - a popular elevated urban bike path - I was riding no handed, cruising along. I felt something fall out of my pocket and instantly leapt for the brakes. Unfortunately my front brake was much more sensitive and it tossed me over the handle bars.

Fractured my arm and was sore in chest/ribs for a week.

Not too bad at all.
 
A couple of years ago I slipped on my rain-slicked deck and my rib cage hit the outreached arm of an adirondack chair full force... my hand didn't hit the deck soon enough to cushion the fall. Bruised the shit out of my ribs with a really big and ugly bruise, and I couldn't breathe comfortably for about six weeks.
 
I slipped walking down the stairs in our house a few months back. Hit pretty hard but didn't roll all the way down, which was nice. Ended up with some bruising but that was it.

Best I took as an adult was at FSU during exams. We used to go out during exam week and play football at night at the IM fields to blow off some steam. Was supposed to be touch...
We would throw the ball for kick-offs. I was hauling ass down field and reached out and got a hand on the guy with the ball. One of my brothers friends who was pure Seminole and built like a tank blind sided me and sent me spinning. When I managed to get up I had a perfect circle of cloth from the guys tshirt in my hand. Had got hit so hard it tore a hole in the shirt where I was holding it. Dude was just standing over me and laughing. And he liked me. I tried to put a similar lick on him later than night but he outweighed me by 50lbs and I just bounced off him and he laughed again.

mccown.gif
My stair falling brother!
 
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I've been down on my dirtbike many times, but the last bad one was in 2014. I was riding a trail I had ridden the day before, but there had been a few "micro-bursts" of rain and the trail was now solid mud. I came blasting through and lost control. Threw me down on my left shoulder, but my arm and elbow went into my ribs so hard it bruised them. I laid there in the mud gasping for air for what seemed lIke 5 minutes. Everything between my waist and chin was sore for weeks.
 
OP’s Mom was feeling peppy one day and suggested reverse cowgirl on the side of the bed. Used the bed crane to lift her into position and after two pumps the side of the bed frame snapped and she came down on my stiff rod and went crashing into the floor enough so the floorboards gave way and crashed through the floor down to the basement with all that momma weight. All that dense mass falling quickly actually bent the space time continuum around her house and I travelled back in time by 30 seconds.
 
OP’s Mom was feeling peppy one day and suggested reverse cowgirl on the side of the bed. Used the bed crane to lift her into position and after two pumps the side of the bed frame snapped and she came down on my stiff rod and went crashing into the floor enough so the floorboards gave way and crashed through the floor down to the basement with all that momma weight. All that dense mass falling quickly actually bent the space time continuum around her house and I travelled back in time by 30 seconds.


98620268-jury-judges-holding-scorecards-quiz-people-show-competition-vector-concept.jpg
 
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Surprised "OP's mom on top" hasn't been used yet. - OOPs, was posted as I was typing.

Wrestling practice with my oldest, I was the dummy on a headlock to back with the coach who outweighs me by an easy 50 lbs. I suspect the coach enjoyed it a little too much, or I don't rebound nearly as easily.
 
third grade at recess playing transformers and go bots, I was running around a huge pine tree, another kid doing the same thing but running the other direction, we collided head to head and i knocked out for a second.. Wake up with searing pain in my head, went to nurse office and vomited,, mom picked me up and i almost went into a coma sleeping with my eyes open.
 
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8 years ago, over 35 indoor soccer league. Figured it was only soccer, I'll give it a shot. Was tripped up and went flying in first game. 38 yr old me didn't bounce right back up like 18 year old me would've.
 
Thought it would be funny to have my rugby teammate tackle me into a pool. He's a 5'10" 230 lb ball of Cambodian muscle. Lit me up, took the air out of me.
 
Two weeks ago. Was taking some new supplements and only had a bowl of oatmeal to eat that day. Went to the gym and worked out pretty hard (for me). Finished workout and didn't feel great. Got to the locker room and could feel myself losing it. Didn't sit down in time and passed out. Fell hard and hit my head on a metal knob on one of the lockers. Sliced my head open pretty well and landed hard.
 
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I was playing ultimate frisbee maybe ten years ago, with a bunch of high school kids. High school for me is one of those distant memories where the older I get, the cooler I was... We were in a big grassy field called Scales in SW Virginia on the second day of a forty mile section hike on the Appalachian Trail and had stopped for an extended lunch and play time.
I was holding my own in a pretty competitive game. Went full out dive for a bad toss and was surprised when a kid slid in below me to beat me to the disc. I landed on his hip hard and heard some weird popping noise.
Oh nose, I first thought that he was hurt. Then it downed on me that my ass could hardly move. I lay there for a minute or so and then gamely got up. Game over for me. The kid got up and taunted me for his damn good play.
For the next two plus days the only way that me and the forty pound pack made it was with the aid of my hiking poles and Tylenol.
Changing from sitting to standing, laying down to upright, any real change in position was devastatingly painful. This stretch of trail in the Virginia Highlands is pretty tough, tho mostly well maintained. I put on the ole game face and mostly kept pace, but dayum... not enough Tylenol.
The day after getting home, it downed on me that it must be broken ribs.
That mother scratcher hurt.
 
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The last time I took a hit like this was when former Iowa TE Scott Slutzker steamrolled me while playing pick up basketball at the Fieldhouse. I wasn’t even trying to take a charge. He just ran over me for the fun of it.
Go.
Those m*****f***ing TEs and LBs playing pick up games knew that you just don't call offensive fouls on those courts and took full advantage of it. And (CSB), the closest I've ever been to fisticuffs since middle school was with Willie Guy because I was using him up and talking quite a bit of s*** about it.
 
I consider myself the wasp whisperer, but I was putting up a security light about fifteen feet high on bricks. I opened up the base and got attacked by wasps. No big deal, but I slipped and one leg got caught in the ladder. I landed directly on my side on a the bricks. I dislocated my shoulder, my elbow needed 13 stitches. The problem was I thought I was dying because my shoulder was out and that pain was intense and I couldn’t breath from the wind being knocked out of me which seemed like forever and I was in total body pain and couldn’t yell for help or get up. I got to breathing again, popped my shoulder in place and drove to the ER where the female doctor was so busy flirting with her male doc my anesthesia wore off and I said just effing do the stitches Rambo style just to try it and GTFO.

My shoulder pops out just opening doors now, but not breathing and my shoulder sticking out was pretty intense. I’m a walking injury so I have many, but that was a triple hammer and my favorite that I can think of. I’m battling a concussion right now from choking out on Jimmy John’s bread Sunday, that was a bad one too. To my face anyway, not body.
 
From the way you described the incident, I'd say that was 2 points for the hoverboard.

Ha! And I should get negative points for walking around with a broken arm for a week before going to the doctor. It is so bad ass to get to say I fell off a hoverboard though. Sure beats I tripped over the dog.
 
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I am effing evil kneivel. the last one dang near broke my back. got hit at a red light from behind he was going 50 mph at least maybe 60. bent my driver seat at 90 degree angle . that was so effing violent
 
I was working on an M1, on one of the sponson boxes on the rear deck. The guy helping me was supposed to power up so I could do an electrical test. He did, he also decided to rotate the commander's turret handset thinking the turret lock was engaged (which he was supposed to do). The hydraulics in the M1 is around 2000psi, and the turret will do a 360 in about 2.5 seconds. The gun tube hit me in the chest, just below shoulder level and drove me into the tank parked next to us.

Knocked the wind out of me, partially collapsed my left lung, broke four ribs, cracked 3 vertebrae, cracked my left hip, cracked my right kneecap, broke the left side of my jaw, detached my left ear from my skull, broke my right collar bone (where the gun tube hit me), whiplash and a grade 3 concussion.

My squad leader saw the gun tube hit me and me hit the other tank. When he got to me, he thought I was dead.

The lesson is, kids, don't screw around with tanks. They bite, and they bite hard.
 
Summer 2018 I was intoxicated riding my bike down the 606 - a popular elevated urban bike path - I was riding no handed, cruising along. I felt something fall out of my pocket and instantly leapt for the brakes. Unfortunately my front brake was much more sensitive and it tossed me over the handle bars.

Fractured my arm and was sore in chest/ribs for a week.

Not too bad at all.
How close did you come to flipping over the railing and becoming a paragraph in the Daily Herald?
 
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I don't remember. I have some weird cat like recoveries when shits about to get real. Maybe 2004 or so I walked into a pole while drunk.
 
I was working on an M1, on one of the sponson boxes on the rear deck. The guy helping me was supposed to power up so I could do an electrical test. He did, he also decided to rotate the commander's turret handset thinking the turret lock was engaged (which he was supposed to do). The hydraulics in the M1 is around 2000psi, and the turret will do a 360 in about 2.5 seconds. The gun tube hit me in the chest, just below shoulder level and drove me into the tank parked next to us.

Knocked the wind out of me, partially collapsed my left lung, broke four ribs, cracked 3 vertebrae, cracked my left hip, cracked my right kneecap, broke the left side of my jaw, detached my left ear from my skull, broke my right collar bone (where the gun tube hit me), whiplash and a grade 3 concussion.

My squad leader saw the gun tube hit me and me hit the other tank. When he got to me, he thought I was dead.

The lesson is, kids, don't screw around with tanks. They bite, and they bite hard.
Well, if it helps, you are the winner so far in this thread.
 
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Ha! And I should get negative points for walking around with a broken arm for a week before going to the doctor. It is so bad ass to get to say I fell off a hoverboard though. Sure beats I tripped over the dog.
It's not as badass as my story. I fell off my daughter's bike. Our street has too much traffic to be safe for kids to ride their bikes, so I used to load up all four of my kids and their bikes in the minivan and take them to our local elementary school where they could ride around the playground. One time they rode for about two minutes and then abandoned the bikes to play on the swingset. So I grabbed one of the bikes and started riding it around. As soon as they saw me doing that they ran after me to stop me. I turned around to see how close they were and in doing so I tumbled forward over the handlebars. Landed on my shoulder and bruised my shoulder blade. I couldn't life my arm above my head. Missed two weeks of work and had to go to physical therapy.

The worst part was that as I was laying on the ground in so much pain that I couldn't stand up, I had four adolescent girls standing over me talking trash.
 
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I was working on an M1, on one of the sponson boxes on the rear deck. The guy helping me was supposed to power up so I could do an electrical test. He did, he also decided to rotate the commander's turret handset thinking the turret lock was engaged (which he was supposed to do). The hydraulics in the M1 is around 2000psi, and the turret will do a 360 in about 2.5 seconds. The gun tube hit me in the chest, just below shoulder level and drove me into the tank parked next to us.

Knocked the wind out of me, partially collapsed my left lung, broke four ribs, cracked 3 vertebrae, cracked my left hip, cracked my right kneecap, broke the left side of my jaw, detached my left ear from my skull, broke my right collar bone (where the gun tube hit me), whiplash and a grade 3 concussion.

My squad leader saw the gun tube hit me and me hit the other tank. When he got to me, he thought I was dead.

The lesson is, kids, don't screw around with tanks. They bite, and they bite hard.
Dang son. Wowzers.
 
Wiped out playing hockey, slid into the boards hard. Wrist took the brunt.

I didn’t think sports would count. I played hockey, wrestling and football all my life and was the nail and the hammer. Intramural hockey at Iowa some 6’4” dumbass who didn’t know shit about the game hit me for water bugging him all night on a blind shot and actually broke a molar in half. No biggie, I hit him every game after with high pucks and sticks in bad spots.
 
Well, if it helps, you are the winner so far in this thread.

The best part...that wasn't even the worst thing that's happened to me in the Army. That involved a dry creek bed at Ft Knox, a 25 foot drop off into the creek bed and a large, kind of pointed rock in the creek bed.

Both were worse than being wounded in Iraq.
 
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