Do you pay for things for your adult children?

[lucas80]

The wife and I were talking today about the family budget, and I asked her what day the phone bill is deducted? Which then led to a discussion about how long we'd keep the oldest kid on our phone plan? He just graduated from college, and has an adult job that pays fairly well. He has no student loan debt and no credit card debt. He will spend about a quarter of his salary on rent and transportation. The money for the phone isn't significant, so there isn't much of a reason to keep paying it. However, we aren't in a hurry to drop him from the plan.
Do you pay for anything on a full time basis for an adult child? When did you fully cut ties?

 

[Gimmered]

We may have kept insurance on vehicles that were in our names. Kids likely use some of my streaming services, but I'd have them anyway. Beyond that, my kids have never come to us for financial help. I can remembering transferring money to my son's account incase he have an emergency while on the road, but it was transferred back as soon as he was home.

 

[onlyTheObvious]

our adult kids pay for their portion of phone bill. It’s cheaper for them then being on a single plan

 

[1122melrose]

We may have kept insurance on vehicles that were in our names. Kids likely use some of my streaming services, but I'd have them anyway. Beyond that, my kids have never come to us for financial help. I can remembering transferring money to my son's account incase he have an emergency while on the road, but it was transferred back as soon as he was home.

You may want to re think that insurance thing. Your name on policy or title of the car and you could be sued for medical or death loss above you limits/umbrella. You could always re-title the cars and set up a spin off policy with same carrier and still pay for it.

 

[Brian_Fantana]

Jesus Christ. Cut the cord for their sake. Who cares if its cheap for you or them. Anyone that age should know all their expenses in life.

 

[HostelAlfalfaWilcoxKeto]

We set up a trust to take care of the anime addiction and Disney+ subscription.

I told him/them that he/they will be paying for ComicCon by himself/themself from here on out, though.

It's tough. They only turn 38 once, but I've decided that's a bridge too far.

 

[TylerJ76]

I have paid for my cell phone since I got it when I was 16.

I don’t think my parents have paid for anything or mine or given me money since I moved out the summer after I graduated high school.

If I got in a bad spot, they would give me the money, but that situation hasn’t arose in 20 years, since I turned 18.

Cut the cord OP. Your kid is old enough to pay for his own things.

 

[Tenacious E]

The wife and I were talking today about the family budget, and I asked her what day the phone bill is deducted? Which then led to a discussion about how long we'd keep the oldest kid on our phone plan? He just graduated from college, and has an adult job that pays fairly well. He has no student loan debt and no credit card debt. He will spend about a quarter of his salary on rent and transportation. The money for the phone isn't significant, so there isn't much of a reason to keep paying it. However, we aren't in a hurry to drop him from the plan.
Do you pay for anything on a full time basis for an adult child? When did you fully cut ties?

The checkbook closed for me when i graduated college, got married, and went active duty in the Air Force in the span of 3 months. With that said, my parents did help with airfare to visit them for many years thereafter.

 

[WorldSeriesChamps2015]

I do pay for OP to live in his mom and I’s basement.

 

[onlyTheObvious]

I always pick up the check when we dine out with the kids. Gets damn spendy at times if a few of the three have love interests.

 

[ping72]

I have paid for my cell phone since I got it when I was 16.

I don’t think my parents have paid for anything or mine or given me money since I moved out the summer after I graduated high school.

If I got in a bad spot, they would give me the money, but that situation hasn’t arose in 20 years.

Cut the cord OP. Your kid is old enough to pay for his own things.

I never realized you were so young.

 

[TylerJ76]

I never realized you were so young.

38?

Edited my post to be a little more clear.

 

[StormHawk42]

They never let us pay when we go out to eat together. Otherwise, they paid for things like my insurance throughout law school but once I was done I was done (age ~25ish).

 

[OutbackBowl2017]

Once they turn 26 and have to be off the health insurance policy then we will cut the cord on the cell phone plan and auto insurance. At that point, it’s time to take over all these expenses after college was paid for and a nice vehicle given to them.

 

[State of Illinois]

The wife and I were talking today about the family budget, and I asked her what day the phone bill is deducted? Which then led to a discussion about how long we'd keep the oldest kid on our phone plan? He just graduated from college, and has an adult job that pays fairly well. He has no student loan debt and no credit card debt. He will spend about a quarter of his salary on rent and transportation. The money for the phone isn't significant, so there isn't much of a reason to keep paying it. However, we aren't in a hurry to drop him from the plan.
Do you pay for anything on a full time basis for an adult child? When did you fully cut ties?

My daughter is .75. Already cut her off.

 

[bhawk24bob]

If I don’t, they’re going to ask their grandparents and I will eventually end up paying for it. The only place I drew the line was when one of them started running up my happy hour tab

 

[goldmom]

I helped my son with a bridge loan so he could close on his new house before his other one did, but it was a very short term thing.
My daughter lives with me after a brutal divorce but pays for her own things.

My parents were very much like other Boomers’ parents - “if you’re old enough to get married you’re old enough to pay your own bills” was the order of the day.

 

[Gimmered]

You may want to re think that insurance thing. Your name on policy or title of the car and you could be sued for medical or death loss above you limits/umbrella. You could always re-title the cars and set up a spin off policy with same carrier and still pay for it.

6 kids, one still at home, maybe one of them has has an accident as after the first year of driving, his own car and insurance. I really don't spend a moment of my time worrying about litigation.

 

[Derekd3408]

I paid for almost everything when I was in HS, I also made more money than some adults do now so it wasn't difficult. I was completely on my own when I graduated HS, but if I needed help my parents would be there at the drop of a hat. Whatever I needed whenever. It's happened a couple of times, but they taught me a lot of responsibility early on taking care of my own stuff.

What other people do with their money is up to them. If someone wants to pay for their kids stuff, I'm sure the kids won't complain much.

 

[Bank of Hawk]

Probably the biggest multi generational financial assistance is inheritance which can vary quite widely from family to family.

Should those 60+ year olds with wealth they can’t spend, wait to pass it down after their death?

Or does it make more sense to spend it on their adult kids and their family’s before death? They can then enjoy more of the fruits of their wealth with their families before they die.

 

[noleclone2]

My 20 year old is still in college so paying for most stuff still. It will end when she graduates and starts working.

 

[dandh]

I helped my son with a bridge loan so he could close on his new house before his other one did, but it was a very short term thing.
My daughter lives with me after a brutal divorce but pays for her own things.

My parents were very much like other Boomers’ parents - “if you’re old enough to get married you’re old enough to pay your own bills” was the order of the day.

Yup...married a couple weeks after I turned 19 and paid my own way after I left home a few months before that. We paid our daughter's way thru college and asked her to stay with us to save money for 4 months; she's paid her own way since. We're fairly generous with gifts, but paid zero of her expenses after she moved out.

 

[hawkmart]

One in college, we pay his stuff, phone, insurance, rent, school. He's responsible for his utilities and to feed himself. Other one entered workforce after HS. He's been paying his own stuff ever since he graduated.

 

[DogBoyRy]

The wife and I were talking today about the family budget, and I asked her what day the phone bill is deducted? Which then led to a discussion about how long we'd keep the oldest kid on our phone plan? He just graduated from college, and has an adult job that pays fairly well. He has no student loan debt and no credit card debt. He will spend about a quarter of his salary on rent and transportation. The money for the phone isn't significant, so there isn't much of a reason to keep paying it. However, we aren't in a hurry to drop him from the plan.
Do you pay for anything on a full time basis for an adult child? When did you fully cut ties?

Interesting topic.
Paid college and decent living (clean/safe apts., food plans, etc.) for all 3. Did not pay for their grad/law school (2 of 3).
Once employed paid car down payment and 1 year payments and insurance for new dependable car ( Fusion, Malibu and Accord respectively). They then took over. Paid cell phone for 1 year also. Continue to pay for all family trip travel - weddings (cousin weddings have been a recent $$ killer due to destination weddings), funerals, annual family vacation (next year Maui, this year was St. Thomas).
I will say one positive of Obama care is the kid coverage until 26.
Note - I/we have umbrella coverage.

 

[General Tso]

If you had parents paying for more than basic necessities before turning 18 (let alone an adult), consider yourself blessed.

 

[General Tso]

One in college, we pay his stuff, phone, insurance, rent, school. He's responsible for his utilities and to feed himself. Other one entered workforce after HS. He's been paying his own stuff ever since he graduated.

Not trying to judge, just an observational question: does your child who chose to support himself think this is fair?

 

[dgordo]

I don’t have any adult children but my parents pay my kids private school tuition. I don’t want them to and never asked them to do it but they insist.

 

[goldmom]

Probably the biggest multi generational financial assistance is inheritance which can vary quite widely from family to family.

Should those 60+ year olds with wealth they can’t spend, wait to pass it down after their death?

Or does it make more sense to spend it on their adult kids and their family’s before death? They can then enjoy more of the fruits of their wealth with their families before they die.

Or some use it to ensure that they won’t be a financial burden to those children when they become very elderly and frail?
Legit question

 

[WorldSeriesChamps2015]

I don’t have any adult children but my parents pay my kids private school tuition. I don’t want them to and never asked them to do it but they insist.

Do they lick your ballz as well???

 

[tarheelbybirth]

My oldest, 26, is autistic and struggles to hold a full-time job. He pays a minimal rent that covers most of his expenses and drives one of our old paid-off cars. My youngest, 22, has a full-time job and is trying to find an apartment he can afford. He pays us a rent that fully covers all of his expenses but is a fraction of what he would pay for any apartment, paid for his own car, and paid off his minimal student loans. He's also built up a nice nest egg of about $20K and growing for when he does move out.

 

[dgordo]

Do they lick your ballz as well???

my kids or my parents?

 

[WorldSeriesChamps2015]

my kids or my parents?

Your parents

 

[dgordo]

Your parents

yes

 

[TylerJ76]

Probably the biggest multi generational financial assistance is inheritance which can vary quite widely from family to family.

Should those 60+ year olds with wealth they can’t spend, wait to pass it down after their death?

Or does it make more sense to spend it on their adult kids and their family’s before death? They can then enjoy more of the fruits of their wealth with their families before they die.

Why can’t they spend their wealth?

I would rather my parents live their lives how they want and enjoy their later years than leave me a dime.

 

[WorldSeriesChamps2015]

yes

Why would you have thought I was asking if your kids licked your ballz???

 

[dgordo]

Why would you have thought I was asking if your kids licked your ballz???

im not telling.

 

[TylerJ76]

Why would you have thought I was asking if your kids licked your ballz???

It’s a fair question.

 

[NDallasRuss]

My parents covered me for a few months after I graduated college. After that I was on my own. They did still help me when I had to have a transmission replaced and couldn't cover it. I've since tried to pay them (now just my mom) back many times over.

I expect it to be similar when the daughter (no pics!) graduates college. She'll probably need help the first couple of months. Hopefully she'll be set up with a job when she graduates and it'll be really short term (fingers crossed!)

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

My kids are not yet in college but with housing prices today we fully expect to be helping them with a home when the time comes. Probably some help with a down payment or something.

 

[dandh]

Or some use it to ensure that they won’t be a financial burden to those children when they become very elderly and frail?
Legit question

I don't know how you will know how much you will need in advance, so we plan to keep what we have until the very end. I have heard other younger folks say things like "pay me my inheritance now", but that has always sounded selfish on their part to me. Our daughter says she wants us to enjoy it and hopes we use as much as possible to that end.