Do you pay for things for your adult children?

dandh

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Or some use it to ensure that they won’t be a financial burden to those children when they become very elderly and frail?
Legit question
I don't know how you will know how much you will need in advance, so we plan to keep what we have until the very end. I have heard other younger folks say things like "pay me my inheritance now", but that has always sounded selfish on their part to me. Our daughter says she wants us to enjoy it and hopes we use as much as possible to that end.
 
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goldmom

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I don't know how you will know how much you will need in advance, so we plan to keep what we have until the very end. I have heard other younger folks say things like "pay me my inheritance now", but that has always sounded selfish on their part to me. Our daughter says she wants us to enjoy it and hopes we use as much as possible to that end.
Absolutely. My Mom had a long term care policy she bought in the 90’s - one not available now - and that was what “saved” her financially the last year of her life. Because of that she was able to leave her four children a decent amount at her passing. None of us have a policy like hers so actually what she left me is invested and available to cover any shortfall in expenses I might have if I have a serious health issue that leaves me impaired.
My children will get whatever I have at my passing.
 
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goldmom

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My parents covered me for a few months after I graduated college. After that I was on my own. They did still help me when I had to have a transmission replaced and couldn't cover it. I've since tried to pay them (now just my mom) back many times over.

I expect it to be similar when the daughter (no pics!) graduates college. She'll probably need help the first couple of months. Hopefully she'll be set up with a job when she graduates and it'll be really short term (fingers crossed!)
When my younger brother graduated from FSU he needed a few suits and business clothes for his job. (1977 and the gold necklace, Nik Nik polyester print shirts were cool at Big Daddy’s but not in his new job) My Dad gave him the JC Penney charge card and a $300 limit. 😂
 

Bank of Hawk

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Why can’t they spend their wealth?

I would rather my parents live their lives how they want and enjoy their later years than leave me a dime.
No one, including me, said they can’t spend their wealth.
 

lucas80

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Yup...married a couple weeks after I turned 19 and paid my own way after I left home a few months before that. We paid our daughter's way thru college and asked her to stay with us to save money for 4 months; she's paid her own way since. We're fairly generous with gifts, but paid zero of her expenses after she moved out.
Just for conversational purposes to you and Goldy, you seem to be two of the older posters in this thread. Were things appreciably different when you graduated from high school / college? Kids today seem to face a tough economic time. My dad graduated from high school, went to Iowa for a year, then went straight to a job at Procter & Gamble in IC. I don't know if that pathway even exists anymore. He had a good wage and benefits right away. He put in 40 years and retired with a healthy amount of money, and good residual benefits.
Putting aside any discussion of inflation the past year, it seems like to me that entry prices for housing and transportation are much higher for today's young adults.
@goldmom
 

lucas80

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Sure do, cars, insurance, tuition, cell phones and various odds and ends. My wife and I struggled as a young couple, if I can help my kids out while they’re starting out in their adult lives, I will.
I can appreciate this. And, I think it goes to my original post. When Mrs. Lucas and I were living down south and trying to scrape together a down payment for our first house my parents flew down for a visit, and rather nonchalantly my dad pulled a check for $20,000 out of his pocket and handed it to us. We had jobs, and although Mrs. Lucas had considerable grad school debts we were doing okay month to month. He told me something to the effect the they could give the money to us now, or we could inherit it someday, and they figured we could use it more at that time. He also mentioned that his parents had spotted him and mom $5000 for a house, which was huge money in 1970.
 

hawkmart

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Not trying to judge, just an observational question: does your child who chose to support himself think this is fair?
He's never mentioned it. Should note he lived at home for a year and a half after graduating HS and built himself a nice pile of 💰 from that. Has continued to manage his money well.
 
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Hawk_4shur

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Cell phone plan - it's a family plan, I pay for the "plan" and each one pays for their own phones and separate line.

We have 6 lines - just found out that we could switch to autopay and save $10 PER LINE - a $60 savings every month. I always thought it was $10 total. Could have been saving a ton of dough.

Also, helping to fund college for my grandchildren.
 

dandh

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Just for conversational purposes to you and Goldy, you seem to be two of the older posters in this thread. Were things appreciably different when you graduated from high school / college? Kids today seem to face a tough economic time. My dad graduated from high school, went to Iowa for a year, then went straight to a job at Procter & Gamble in IC. I don't know if that pathway even exists anymore. He had a good wage and benefits right away. He put in 40 years and retired with a healthy amount of money, and good residual benefits.
Putting aside any discussion of inflation the past year, it seems like to me that entry prices for housing and transportation are much higher for today's young adults.
@goldmom
Things weren't that great in the 70s. I went to work in a foundry as a first job and worked full-time nights while going to college, doing everything from shoveling sand to pouring metal. I found my way into a trade and dropped out of college for 12 years, then returned to earn my degree and switch to a white collar (managerial) career in my late 30s. Always while working fulltime, with my wife working 35 hours a week in retail.

Our first apartment was upstairs in an old house. We "moved up" to a used mobile home we purchased, and sold it several years later, buying a very old house in not the best part of town. After I switched careers we were able to move and buy a new, modern home.

So, yeah, easy peasy. Not nearly as tough as kids have it today.
 
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lucas80

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Things weren't that great in the 70s. I went to work in a foundry as a first job and worked full-time nights while going to college, doing everything from shoveling sand to pouring metal. I found my way into a trade and dropped out of college for 12 years, then returned to earn my degree and switch to a white collar (managerial) career in my late 30s. Always while working fulltime, with my wife working 35 hours a week in retail.

Our first apartment was upstairs in an old house. We "moved up" to a used mobile home we purchased, and sold it several years later, buying a very old house in not the best part of town. After I switched careers we were able to move and buy a new, modern home.

So, yeah, easy peasy. Not nearly as tough as kids have it today.
So, you are Ron Swanson? :)
 

lucas80

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Sorry, that went over my head. I have no clue who Ron Swanson is.
Okay, Boomer. ;)
Ron Swanson is the character played by Nick Offerman on Parks and Rec. I believe one of his jobs as a 12 year old was working in steel mill or slaughterhouse. Do a dive on some clips of his sometime. Or, just binge the show.
 
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goldmom

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Graduated in ‘71...today is actually my 51st wedding anniversary 😔
We had a bit of a different situation from day 1...we moved to Philadelphia for five months and then moved back to Florida where we lived with his Mom until we bought a modest place with a rental to help with the mortgage. (she had an efficiency on the side of her house)

The economy was just so-so as I recall and I had a difficult time getting any sort of good job. In 1971 a decent starting salary was around $8-9K in an entry corporate job. Minimum wage was about $1.75 at a Department store. I became a supervisor of the catalog counter at JC Penney and made just a bit more. Teaching jobs were mostly filled. Tons of Boomers were flooding the job market, even with guys being in Vietnam.
My parents gave us a nice wedding - and then we were on our own 100%.
They had 3 other kids - 1 in Catholic high school and two in college that they were paying for.
 
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dandh

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Okay, Boomer. ;)
Ron Swanson is the character played by Nick Offerman on Parks and Rec. I believe one of his jobs as a 12 year old was working in steel mill or slaughterhouse. Do a dive on some clips of his sometime. Or, just binge the show.
I waited until I was 18 to go to work in a foundry, so Ron kicked my ass right there. I only did farm work as a kid.

That being said, I was very lucky to stay employed through the 70s and early 80s. It was pretty miserable under Carter and first term Reagan. Some of my friends weren't as fortunate as me.
 
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lucas80

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The wife told me we are keeping him on our health insurance for now. He has access to health insurance, but her UIHC plan is far superior.
 

NoleATL

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The wife and I were talking today about the family budget, and I asked her what day the phone bill is deducted? Which then led to a discussion about how long we'd keep the oldest kid on our phone plan? He just graduated from college, and has an adult job that pays fairly well. He has no student loan debt and no credit card debt. He will spend about a quarter of his salary on rent and transportation. The money for the phone isn't significant, so there isn't much of a reason to keep paying it. However, we aren't in a hurry to drop him from the plan.
Do you pay for anything on a full time basis for an adult child? When did you fully cut ties?
What is this “adult children” concept of what you speak?
 
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