so, is anyone partying it up on Bourbon Street or in NOLA right now?
I'm sure someone is.
I was down in New Orleans over the weekend for a friend’s bachelor party (nolook, if you’re reading this post, you were insulting me for attending the bachelor’s father’s tailgate at the OSU game last fall). There were about 15 guys there, most of them single, so pretty much everybody was looking to get laid. I’m happily married, and have never cheated on my wife, so all I wanted to do was party my ass off.
I got there Friday night at about 10. By 10:30 I was out on Bourbon St with a hurricane in hand. A few minutes later I met the group out at a place called Razoo’s and caught up a bit with 5 shots in 5 minutes ? I was way behind. By 1AM I was loaded and had a serious itch for some powder. I wasn’t able to get some in time back home, but at the same time I was pretty leery of trying to make something happen in New Orleans. But who knows, I tell myself ? might as well keep my eyes and ears open.
Around 4AM a middle-aged man advertises the fact that he’s selling ? exactly the kind of situation I know to be a rip-off waiting to happen. I really wanted it bad though, so I took a chance. After each of us was satisfied that the other wasn’t a cop, we found a secluded spot for the transaction. He took out a magnificent rock of an 8ball and shoved a pebble up my nose. Pretty good stuff ? I’m in luck! What happened next was some magnificent kind of slight of hand, because he switched the ball of good stuff with barely a gram of total crap while I was counting out $160, making sure to keep my eyes on his hands. Rats ? rolled AGAIN. When will I ever learn?
Good news though ? some Mississippi fraternity boys came through for us the next night. They were staying in some rooms next to ours at the Royal Sonesta ? we had 2nd floor balcony right on Bourbon. They hooked us up with some really outstanding stuff for a fair price. JACKPOT! We hung around watching the parade until 11 or so, getting really blasted, and then headed out to the bars.
Third stop or so we end up at a place with a nice dance floor. Much to my friends’ delight, the ratio in there is decent ? girls in general were kinda sparse all weekend, and all the hotties seemed to have men on their arms. Didn’t matter to me as I was only looking for a good time and a lot of eye candy ? neither of which were in short supply. For my friends though it was a major issue, and standards were dropping rapidly, in some cases dramatically. LOL.
Anyway, there were a few bachelorette parties going on in there, one of which was pretty small ? only 7 girls. Six of them were freakin outstanding ? hot hot hot hot hot hot hot. The problem is, they seem totally into a girls’ night, and are giving guys the Heisman left and right. Even when I was single, I had a gift of coming off as totally harmless and innocent, so I decide to give talking them up a shot.
It worked. Pretty quickly, I was all chatty-chatty with all of them, dancing with all of them, making them laugh. It was great ? I loved the attention. I especially loved that all the other guys, including my friends, kept trying, kept trying, and kept getting shot down.
So I keep drinking hard, and keep hitting the bathroom. After a while, the hottest among the group starts getting a little touchy with me and asks if I like to party. “That’s a silly question,” I tell her, and explain the details of my situation. She wants to leave right away.
At this point I have no intention whatsoever of cheating on my wife, but am just loving all the attention I’m getting from this ridiculously, truly ridiculously hot girl, so I think to myself, “What’s the harm in hanging out with her a while?” I figure that her friends probably wouldn’t let her go anyway, but if they did, it would be a tremendous ego boost if this girl tries to get on me. And did I mention how much of a great time I’m having? These girls aren’t just hot ? they’re a lot of fun too. And this one is the best among them.
Much to my shock, the bachelorette and her friends let the hottest one go with me, saying right in front of me, “Now normally there’s no way we’d split up our group, but we can tell you’re a really nice guy, so be nice and be sure to have her back soon.”
Not a problem, I tell them, but just as we’re walking out the door, I hear a “Hey _____ - get back here!” I’ll spare you the long and boring details of all the drama, but basically one of the bridesmaids had disappeared, and no one knew where she was. The others weren’t going to let us go now, they decided, which I really didn’t mind. Safer that way, and I was having a great time there anyway.
After a while, all the girls, but especially the bachelorette, started getting really freaked out about their missing friend, and they really had no idea what to do. Making phone calls and deliberating about it forever, they considered doing things that would only have made matters worse. Eventually I stepped in to take control of the situation, and put together a plan to find the missing girl without splitting up their group. I was pretty concerned about her too, and thought about how many girls were going to be raped that evening in NO. Pretty sobering thought. Luckily, she wasn’t one of them, as we found her a few blocks away about a half hour later, and she was fine.
No it doesn't. When it was first posted it was one of the greatest days ever on here.
So I just spent about 15 minutes going through a menu for a restaurant I'll probably never eat at. Thanks for posting.I am not but I am going to Ragin Cajun tonight for dinner.
Richmond Menu | Ragin Cajun
ragin-cajun.com
So I just spent about 15 minutes going through a menu for a restaurant I'll probably never eat at. Thanks for posting.
10/10 would read again.
Pic of wife with king cake?No, but last night I made shrimp/andouille jambalaya and my wife made a king cake.
Still trueI love the New Orleans story. Fantastic. Every. Time.
Would not. That body glitter wouldn't come off for weeks. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
It's an Iowa message board. Every Tuesday is Fat.