Sept. 5 Illinois State 27-20 W
Tre Roberson gives Iowa’s D fits all day between the 20s but they hold firm in the red zone. CJ plays okay but fans start grumbling for Tyler Weiggers. Desmond King with a pick to seal the game. How embarrassing is it that we are struggling with Illinois State. Fire KF. Fans bitch that they won’t attend another game until KF is gone.
Sept. 12 at Iowa State 23-17 W
Iowa jumps out 17-0 early in 2nd quarter. CJ throws 2 picks for TDs and it’s 17-14 at half. Fans bitching for Tyler Weiggers. How can our coaches not see CJ is not the man and it’s time to play for the future. Really sucks we need two late defensive stands to bail out this pathetic excuse of an offense. Fire KF and shoot GD. Texas fans warned us.
Sept. 19 Pitt 34-31 OT W
CJ is dazzling all day but a late pick allows Pitt to score a TD and 2 PT conversion to put the game in OT. D holds and forces FG. CJ goes up top on 1st play to Tevaun for game winner. Kinnick rocking, Iowa Rivals bitching that KF was so stupid throwing late in the game and putting CJ in position to fail. This win was on the players, not the coaches. Fire them all. But then they will convince us they are happy to be 3-0 but all the buts come out. Swagsurfer justifies win by saying Pitt really had an off day.
Sept. 26 North Texas 44-14 W
Iowa dominates. Up 35-0 at half time. Back ups get in and fans bitch that this weak ass schedule is going to cost us a shot at the national title. Fire Barta, Fire KF. Also bitch that our backups look like MAC recruits for sure, future is weak. Tyler Weiggers goes 2-7 in back up role but 1 of his completions was a bullet and people say he should be getting some reps in meaningful games.
Oct. 3 at Wisconsin 10-6 L
Defensive battle all day. Iowa has the ball inside the 10 with seconds to play. CJ on last play forces one to Tevaun when per rivals EVERYBODY in the stadium knew it was going there. Why not run it, why not throw it to HKC. Texas fans told us this would happen. We are officially Wisconsin’s bitch. Fire KF. 2400 people on rivals, almost double the usual and they all line up to tell us they told us so.
Oct. 10 Illinois 38-13 W
Iowa up 28-0 in the first quarter. Just dominates from start to finish. Fans bitch that it would be nice if we could play well when it matters. Happy with the win but Im just sick of this staff. Illinois sucks, we will probably struggle with Northwestern who is the worst team in the history of the Big Ten right now. Tyler Weiggers goes 1-4 in 4th quarter and fans bitch that he doesn’t see meaningful snaps when it matters. Ya 1-4 but did you see the bullet to Andre Harris that he completed. We haven’t had a QB that could throw that pass since Chuck Long. Our coaches should be fired.
Oct. 17 at Northwestern 20-17 OT W
Iowa struggles all day and fans bitch that they won’t watch anymore until KF is gone. Da Coach’s 358th handle will come on and say I told you all last week that we would struggle with this NW team. But you wouldn’t listen. He forgot that it was with a different user name though. Anyway, 7-3 NW at the end of 1st. 10-10 at half time. Iowa up 17-10 late in the game and bullshit flag in endzone takes away a Jordan Lomax pick. All 38 Northwestern fans say it was the right call as they were right there. We go to OT. Ott sacks QB and Jaleel gets fumble recovery in front of 138 of his family members. Koehn kicks chipshot to win. Fans bitch that we are struggling and even though they are happy with the win, KF should be fired and we suck. Oh and why can’t Tyler Weiggers can’t a few snaps. Maybe Ryan Boyle should be getting some looks.
Oct. 24 BYE
Fans spend bye week bitching that if KF had his head out of his ass we would be in the National title hunt right now. Few other fans say no you can blame Barta because it wouldn’t matter even if we did beat Wisconsin. Some fans say it’s great to be 6-1 but they are quickly attacked because even though our coaches suck and our players suck, the opponents sucked worse. Except for Wisconsin and we lost that one. Fans bitch as its released that Canzeri and Daniels both dinged up in bye week and won’t be available for Maryland.
Oct. 31 Maryland 34-24 W
CJ is dazzling all day. Jonathon Parker returns a kick back for a TD and fans bitch about his bonehead play against Tennessee. Remember Tennessee, don’t get too excited. Derrick Mitchel goes for 140 yards and people start saying he should be starting over both Canzeri and Daniels. They have always thought that and our coaches must be idiots. Someone mentions hey we are 7-1 and they had 4 RB’s ready so shouldn’t they get some credit. Quickly dismissed as this is was deemed by the gurus of Iowa Rivals as the easiest schedule in the history of college football. Fans bitch that if CJ started last year we win 10 games easy.
Nov. 7 at Indiana 32-24 W
Indiana up 17-0 in first half and Iowa fans bitching that it sure would be nice if we could find a way to beat Indiana. They are done watching and won’t watch anymore until KF is gone. Iowa leans on running game and Jay Scheel has a dynamic reverse play to put iowa up 21-17 in the 3rd. Ott gets a sack for a safety and CJ throws a sweet TD pass to Tevaun Smith. Koehn misses PAT, his first miss of the year and fans want him replaced immediately. Koehn then follows it up with a 53 yard FG and fans bitch that he can’t make a PAT but he can make a 53 yarder. Desmond King with his 2nd game saving pick of the year.
Nov. 14 Minnesota 13-3 W
Wrestlers freeze their leotards off and fans get hammered before the football game. Several fans are arrested before the game for throwing beer bottles at opposing fans. They post bail and go on rivals and bitch that the Gestapo police arrested them for laughing with friends and holding a beer on the sidewalk. They leave out the beer bottle throwing part. Game is boring and it’s cold. 3-3 at half time. 6-3 late in the game when Derrick Mitchel goes on a 20 yard run that reminds fans of Shon Greene. Fans bitch that Canzeri and Daniels should be relegated to scout team and why can’t Tyler Weiggers get some meaningful snaps. Remember that throw to Harris against Illinois? CJ is not capable of throwing that pass.
Nov. 21 Purdue 44-6 W
Domination from start to finish. Purdue scores TD on last play of game but PAT is blocked and Truitt returns the PAT for 2 points. KF is seen on sidelines telling Truitt to go down but Truitt don’t see it. Fans bitch that Truitt is our best prospect at DB and he has no chance of ever seeing the field now because KF is a pussy. Fire his ass. Fans also bitch that our backup DB's suck and they are the reason we didn't get the shut out.
Nov. 27 at Nebraska 31-34 L
Nebraska goes up 14-0 and fans bitch that we had a chance to play for the BT title but of course KF cannot have this team ready to play when it matters. Iowa manages a long FG by Koehn and it’s 17-3 at half time. Derrick Mitchel goes off in 2nd half and Iowa takes the lead 31-24 in 4th quarter. Nebraska goes 80 yards in 20 seconds and ties it up 31 all with 15 seconds to play. Fans bitch that it's Greg Davis's fault. They kick an onside kick and fans bitch that everybody in stadium knew it was coming. Nebraska gets it. First play refs throw flag on PI which is a BS call. Nebby makes long FG and wins it. Fans bitch we suck and fire our coaches.
The next day Minnesota upsets Wisconsin putting Iowa into the conference title game. Fans bitch that it took Minnesota to get us into the game and predict Ohio State will put up 70 on this pathetic defense and we will be lucky to get a first down. Fans bitch that this sucks because now KF will get an extension and guaranteeing us 10 more years of mediocrity. They bitch that 10 wins against this schedule is a joke. Someone posts but didn't you predict 5-7 this year, quickly dismissed as the schedule turned out to be easier than what they thought.
17-7 at half time and fans bitch that OSU is basically begging us to win this game but we can't do anything because our coaches have their heads up their ass. OSU pulls away in 2nd half and win 38-14and fans bitch that KF is incapable of getting this team ready. Fans predicting 4 win season next year with a real schedule.
