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Hey all, the shite finally hit the fan.

With my boozing. I just spent 5 days in the hospital after a big weekend run with my old college buddy. My heart went out of rhythm again and this time it was really bad. I haven't been that scared ever. I am out and sober, but wifey (no pic) is none too happy with me, justifiably so. I am staying with a good friend and going to daily meetings, but good thoughts would be appreciated. I know I am an a-hole, but I really feel like one now. I hope to be back with the family in a week or so.

God bless.
Hugs and love... no homo. Wishing you the best in this battle. Pic of buddy your went off the rails with (definite homo)?
 
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I really thought this about the neighbors in reality. I remember a few years ago a post about you trying to curb your drinking and hitting the gym?

Do you struggle with alcoholism? It's crazy how quickly people go from functioning to not able to control it. I've read enough stories on r/CA to know a bender when someone has had one.

Thankfully I've always been able to control it but certainly have some hereditary things to keep on high alert. I'd say I probably consume more than the average HROT'er but have been able to hold it in check. I think as we get older that can be more difficult.

Best of luck to you. I know you have young ones so keep them close. Your wife will or won't forgive you, but your still the dad to those kiddos and never forget that.
I used to hit it hard on the weekends, having more than I should have. During the past couple years, I went from rarely drinking during the week to drinking every day and a lot of it. Then I started "hiding" it and wifey finally busted me. The recent hospital episode is just the icing on the cake. I gotta shut it down or I won't be around.
 
I'm not sure I can do the actual "program", but talking to and listening to like minded people has already been a huge help. That's my plan for now.

I won't recommend or not recommend the actual program to anyone but I would encourage anyone with concerns about their drinking to find a speaker AA meeting (where there's one person who speaks rather than a group discussion). I found out in recent years that there are quite a few older relatives in my life who worked the program faithfully and I never knew them as drinkers nor would have guessed without being told. I made a personal judgment that the actual steps outlined in the book seemed like they took 4ish Catholic sacraments and stretched them into 12 steps which I have not, to date, been interested in. What that judgment didn't change was AA was ultimately a place where people weren't surprised my by drinking and where they have trained each other mutually to make newcomers feel welcome and important (which you find out is step 12) and hopeful.
 
I'm not sure I can do the actual "program", but talking to and listening to like minded people has already been a huge help. That's my plan for now.
That's disappointing. It's too bad you can't admit your addiction and take the steps needed to deal with it. RIP, dude.

I know that is harsh, but I really fear that is what will happen, whether It's 6 months or 6 years from now. Then we'll all be on here posting what a good dude you were. This is likely your last chance. I hope you take it.
 
I’m coming up on seven months sober so it can be done. I always found days one to four to be the hardest to get through and it looks like you have those days covered.

Turns out I was drinking as a coping mechanism for essentially 17 years straight with just a few “quittings” in there. Without that unhealthy mechanism I had a complete mental breakdown that got me in touch with the VA which got me into therapy for the first time ever which has been great. The jerk told me I have complex PTSD, panic disorder, anxiety, and depression though. That is a really odd way for me to recommend therapy if you aren’t already.
Thank you, brother!

And here I thought you took a break so you could focus on your mad wave and frozen turkey frying skills. God bless!
 
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That's disappointing. It's too bad you can't admit your addiction and take the steps needed to deal with it. RIP, dude.

I know that is harsh, but I really fear that is what will happen, whether It's 6 months or 6 years from now. Then we'll all be on here posting what a good dude you were. This is likely your last chance. I hope you take it.
There are no actual official steps for dealing with alcoholism. AA was made up by drunks in the 40s and the steps were basically explicitly plagiarized at first and then modified through trial and error. AA is not affiliated with any psychiatric school or medical practice and is not based on the results of scientific inquiry. You're not being harsh, you're insisting on dogma.
 
No better time to quit than right now. My BIL was given 5 years to live, less if he doesn’t stop drinking. Cirrhosis of the liver. He’s 53. He won’t quit. Hell be lucky to make it into 2023.
I am 52 and was seriously worried about my future. I at least found out my heart is in good shape, nothing enlarged, chest x-ray came back clean. I am going to hit my annual physical next month to make sure the rest is alright.

I am curious, how did he find out about the cirrhosis? Is that something that comes up on a test?
 
If you need anything please reach out. I'll help you in exchange for one night with that hottie may be murderer. If I'm dead, I'll have a shit faced grin. But, for real, do reach out if you need anything.
This is pure GOLD, thank you!
 
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This is pure GOLD, thank you!
I used your spices yesterday. Turned out wonderfully. You are one of the brightest people I know. Take each step to recovery with wim and vigor. Good luck and if your liver is compromised please take n acetyl cysteine and milk thistle.
 
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Thank you, brother!

And here I thought you took a break so you could focus on your mad wave and frozen turkey frying skills. God bless!
They have a ton of free or cheap sobriety counters for your phone that are pretty cool. I got one currently adding up all the money I am saving , calories I am not imbibing, drinks I am not having, health changes I should be seeing, along with course days with no drinks. I feel it helps keep track of the good things for anytime you may be thinking of breaking the seal.
 
If I may ask, how did your employer react? Are you still employed?
I am a very lucky sumbitch. I changed jobs a couple months ago. I now work for a medical products company. I talked to the owner every day I was in the hospital and all he told me were two things:

1. Do you need anything? I will be there.
2. Just get yourself better, everything else will take care of itself.

My former employer would not have been so generous.
 
I’m sending every good vibe I can your way, friend. You know what you have to do and I trust that you have no shortage of motivation to get this right.
 
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Stay strong my man. Not quite there personally but I am turning over a new leaf exercising and getting healthier, and curbing the booze is part of that…
Well I have been in and out of the threads about working out and losing weight. Well, I have lost weight, but it wasn't a healthful way. I am already back to the gym for my weight work. I also have a buddy that is a swimmer and cyclist so he is helping me get that going. It's finally time.
 
This subreddit has compiled some good resources. The actual text posts usually aren't great for much (it's newcomers getting stuff off their chest), but the subreddit has useful links and they also have an IRC chat that is busy 24/7 since Aussies and Brits also speak English. (IRC instead of Discord because almost no one who uses Discord is old enough yet to have a drinking problem).

 
I'm not saying he's an asshole of a person, but he's being an irresponsible asshole. (at least I'd use those words to describe myself in that situation)

At any rate, a problem is a problem, and if he's addressing it, good.
I am addressing it and I have no problem with you calling a spade a spade. If I didn't think I was acting like an a-hole, I would not have said it to begin with.
 
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Alcohol has severely impacted my family and wreaked havoc on relationships.
I really don’t drink - maybe have one a month and there’s no alcohol in my home.
I sincerely wish the OP success in his quest for sobriety.
Goldy, I thank you! I'm not sure how I got to this point, but I can only go up.
 
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Hugs and love... no homo. Wishing you the best in this battle. Pic of buddy you went off the rails with (definite homo)?
He is not a social media guy so I can't link anything. That said, his nickname has been "Dog" for for 35 years and if I remember correctly from the dorm showers, he's hung like a boss.
 
I am 52 and was seriously worried about my future. I at least found out my heart is in good shape, nothing enlarged, chest x-ray came back clean. I am going to hit my annual physical next month to make sure the rest is alright.

I am curious, how did he find out about the cirrhosis? Is that something that comes up on a test?
Liver function test - should be apart of your blood test. Will be ably to tell if you have a fatty liver
 
That's disappointing. It's too bad you can't admit your addiction and take the steps needed to deal with it. RIP, dude.

I know that is harsh, but I really fear that is what will happen, whether It's 6 months or 6 years from now. Then we'll all be on here posting what a good dude you were. This is likely your last chance. I hope you take it.
I am just getting started, man. The disconnect for me to date is the "higher power" or religious part of it. Maybe I am just an a-hole, but that is the only reason I have questions about the program. If my admission to addiction has not been clear to this point, then pay closer attention.
 
There are no actual official steps for dealing with alcoholism. AA was made up by drunks in the 40s and the steps were basically explicitly plagiarized at first and then modified through trial and error. AA is not affiliated with any psychiatric school or medical practice and is not based on the results of scientific inquiry. You're not being harsh, you're insisting on dogma.
Maybe, but having lost a brother to it who sounded a lot like him, I am actually concerned for him. I'm certain that deep down he's a good guy, I just fear he's not fully owning it. I really hope he finds a way to stay sober.
 
That's disappointing. It's too bad you can't admit your addiction and take the steps needed to deal with it. RIP, dude.

I know that is harsh, but I really fear that is what will happen, whether It's 6 months or 6 years from now. Then we'll all be on here posting what a good dude you were. This is likely your last chance. I hope you take it.

I'm curious why you seem to think AA is the only way?
 
I am just getting started, man. The disconnect for me to date is the "higher power" or religious part of it. Maybe I am just an a-hole, but that is the only reason I have questions about the program. If my admission to addiction has not been clear to this point, then pay closer attention.
As a non-believer I get that, but I'm worried that It's an excuse. Do you avoid all participation in things related to religion (eg, Christmas)? If you can find a way to do those things you can find a way to do this.

Regardless, I really hope you can succeed, whatever your approach.
 
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Maybe, but having lost a brother to it who sounded a lot like him, I am actually concerned for him. I'm certain that deep down he's a good guy, I just fear he's not fully owning it. I really hope he finds a way to stay sober.
Dan, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your brother. I posted about a "friend" on here a few years ago that I was worried about. It was my brother. He has been sober for three years. I got him into recovery before it took him, he was headed that way. God bless.
 
As a non-believer I get that, but I'm worried that It's an excuse. Do you avoid all participation in things related to religion (eg, Christmas)? If you can find a way to do those things you can find a way to do this.

Regardless, I really hope you can succeed, whatever your approach.
Sorry to hear about your brother. Just to elaborate on what I was thinking, it's not necessarily excuse making if someone doesn't dive head first into the steps. Are you familiar with the steps? Have you ever participated in a Catholic confession? There are some smaller AA groups out there that eventually cannot help making their brand of AA about the prominent religion of the group even though that's incongruent with the AA steps and traditions. Those are the groups with members who think AA should be a Christian boot camp just because the program was lifted from a tradition within Christianity. Those groups are rarely very helpful to alcoholics who don't already share their religious convictions.
 
With my boozing. I just spent 5 days in the hospital after a big weekend run with my old college buddy. My heart went out of rhythm again and this time it was really bad. I haven't been that scared ever. I am out and sober, but wifey (no pic) is none too happy with me, justifiably so. I am staying with a good friend and going to daily meetings, but good thoughts would be appreciated. I know I am an a-hole, but I really feel like one now. I hope to be back with the family in a week or so.

God bless.
There’s no book on how to live life. It’s a journey… and sometimes we need a reboot. Stay strong and take care of you.
 
I am just getting started, man. The disconnect for me to date is the "higher power" or religious part of it. Maybe I am just an a-hole, but that is the only reason I have questions about the program. If my admission to addiction has not been clear to this point, then pay closer attention.
There is a secular group- Smart - that’s an alternative for many like agnostic persons.
You do you - and don’t feel like you need to justify choosing them instead of AA.
 
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With my boozing. I just spent 5 days in the hospital after a big weekend run with my old college buddy. My heart went out of rhythm again and this time it was really bad. I haven't been that scared ever. I am out and sober, but wifey (no pic) is none too happy with me, justifiably so. I am staying with a good friend and going to daily meetings, but good thoughts would be appreciated. I know I am an a-hole, but I really feel like one now. I hope to be back with the family in a week or so.

God bless.
you have a lonely pathetic life if you thought to post something like this on a forum of strangers.
 
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