I get that she is pissed, I am also pissed about plenty. Seems a little bit unreasonable to expect me to stay out of the house indefinitely but at least we had the conversation. It's a start.
JR, I've stayed out of this thread and haven't offered advice because every situation is different and I don't feel I should be commenting on it but I have a few observations because I've just read enough.
First some background. Married my ex out of college and we have a son who is now 20. Great kid, proud of him.
We ended up divorced when he was 3. Won't go into it but I will say some of the things you mentioned about her being distant and lack of affection applies. I didn't have alcohol issues but I don't see that as a main factor in your current struggles, it goes deeper like it did for me.
Remarried years later and have the greatest wife in the world and two wonderful kids with her. I'm lucky. She's the best, and really opened my eyes to what a marriage should be. I not only love her I respect the hell out of her, even if she is crazy at times like all women can be, but that's just the difference between men and women. I just laugh it off and love her for who she is.
What I will say, for as much as I know about you from a message board, is that you seem like a really good guy. You've had some struggles with alcohol, but you shouldn't beat yourself up. You are taking steps to address that and are serious about it. Good for you. I hope you beat those issues and come out better for it.
Where I do have issues, I actually get a little pissed reading some of this stuff because I like you. Where I do have issues is that you have acknowledged your problems and are working to address them. You need support. Your wife should be supporting and helping you. I don't see how keeping you separated from your family, your wife and kids is a good thing. It's making it so much harder for you and the struggles and temptation to relapse from the pressure is high.
Marriage is a partnership. You should both be supporting each other. You need help and support and your wife should be there supporting you. Christ, your drinking caused heart issues. Then, even not drinking related you had more heart issues. Damn, she almost lost you yet she's keeping you away? I'm sorry, I don't agree with that.
Yes, you have things you need to work on. You are doing that. I just think she should be active and supportive with that instead of keeping you away and adding to your suffering.
Whatever happens your future happiness is up to you, whether your marriage fails or not you do have happiness in your future if you want it and work for it.
Wishing you all the best.
Ok, I just unloaded there like I said I shouldn't but, damn, this makes me upset.