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How did you meet OP's mom?

Any romantic stories to tell?
Here’s some footage of when I brought her back to the hotel room...

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Oh, what a night
Late December back in sixty three
What a very special time for me
As I remember, what a night
Oh, what a night, you know I didn't even know her name
But I was never gonna be the same
What a lady, what a night
Oh, I, I got a funny feelin' when she walked in the room
Oh my, as I recall it ended much too soon
Oh what a night, hypnotizin' mesmerizing me
She was ev'rything I dreamed she'd be
Sweet surrender, what a night
I felt a rush like a rollin' ball of thunder
Spinnin' my head around and takin' my body under
Oh, what a night
Oh, I, I got a funny feelin' when she walked in the room
Oh my, as I recall it ended much too soon
Oh, what a night
Why'd it take so long to see the light?
Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right
What a lady, what a night
Oh I felt a rush like a rollin' ball of thunder
Spinnin' my head around and takin' my body under
Oh what a night
Do-do-do, do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, oh what a night
Do-do-do, do-do-do
Do-do-do-do-do-do, oh what a night
Do-do-do, do-do-do
Do-do-do-do-do-do, oh what a night
Do-do-do, do-do-do
Do-do-do-do-do-do, oh what a night
Source: LyricFind
 
First time was at an adult children of alcoholics meeting.

Second time at a SLAANY meeting.
After that we were inseparable
 
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I was 12 trying to make some money to buy NFL Sports Talk Football, so I setup a lemonade stand where I was selling baseball cards with my little brother.

She drove past in her Dodge Caravan then pulled over and got out of the car. It was summer and she was wearing short shorts and a tank top. She ordered a lemonade and I swear she drank it in slow motion.

Then she asked about the cards. She said she didn’t know much about baseball and asked if she could get some good ones. My little brother tried ripping her off. I yelled at him and then picked out some George Brett, Jose Canseco, and Roger Clemens. She said she was very impressed with my honesty and wanted to buy them from me.

She checks her pockets and said she had no cash. She told me to get in her car and we’d run to her house quick and get some. So we go back to her place and she leads me into the bedroom.

I was only 12. I had never even seen boobs before, let alone had any idea what was going on. To this day I still can’t remember exactly what happened, but I know it felt great.
 
She was summering at my neighbor’s cottage during university. She sat rightly so under a tall elm tree with a parasol. She had a blanket under her with tea and cucumber sandwiches. It was just lovely.

She was reading Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream I believe. I approached her. She said hello and I told her I admired her so and if she would welcome a gentleman caller that summer. She was taken aback by my directness but soon realized that my virtue was true.

She asked if rather enjoyed Shakespeare’s works and if I would accompany her to the end of summer festival. I replied in the negatory and instead suggested we retire to her cottage so that I doth maketh thy plans knownst to her in the immediate, and proceed to rapture her purity by putting it in thy butt. The comely lass has never been the same since.
 
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She was summering at my neighbor’s cottage during university. She sat rightly so under a tall elm tree with a parasol. She had a blanket under her with tea and cucumber sandwiches. It was just lovely.

She was reading Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream I believe. I approached her. She said hello and I told her I admired her so and if she would welcome a gentleman caller that summer. She was taken aback by my directness but soon realized that my virtue was true.

She asked if rather enjoyed Shakespeare’s works and if I would accompany her to the end of summer festival. I replied in the negatory and instead suggested we retire to her cottage so that I doth maketh thy plans knownst to her in the immediate, and proceed to rapture her purity by putting it in thy butt. The comely lass has never been the same since.

Sucks for you, she was just laying on her bed with her daughter, and I just banged both of them. That was the first time I had met them.
 
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It was a foggy and misty Friday night, I was heading home from the local tavern and probably shouldn’t have been driving as I had just downed a fifth of Jameson. As I lite up a joint, I saw a dark silhouette in the distance, I wasn’t sure if it was a person so I slowed down to get a closer look. As I slowly crept closer and closer I could see that it was indeed a person, a woman, with long dark hair and wearing a short skirt and a tight tank top.
I pulled up next to her and kindly asked if she needed a ride. She was soaking wet and shivering from the cold. I opened the passenger door and she reluctantly got in. I asked her why she was walking on the road this late at night in such horrible weather? She told me she had just escaped from a crazy man who had her locked in his basement for over a year doing unspeakable things to her. The most disgusting revelation was that it was her own son!
 
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