How to cheat at chess . . . with a butt plug?

torbee

HR King
Gold Member

Did Hans Neimann Cheat at Chess With a Sex Toy? This Coder Is Attempting to Find Out.​



ButtFish is a program that, hypothetically, would let someone communicate to an AI chess program using a butt plug.

By Matthew Gault

1664300688864-1662747732033-screen-shot-2022-09-09-at-112149-am.png


A cheating controversy rocking the chess world just won’t let up. One conspiracy theory promoted by Elon Musk without evidence is that young chess wiz Hans Niemannn defeated world chess champion Magnus Carlsen in early September with the aid of a vibrating set of anal beads.

It’s an intriguing idea, but is such a thing even possible? Ron Sijm, a software engineer in the Netherlands, wants to find out and has developed software to test the theory. He’s posted the code to open-source coding platform GitHub, and all he needs now is the right sex toy.

“I’m not sure if anyone actually tried to test it in practice,” he told Motherboard. “That’s why I built the library, to actually test this.”

For those who haven’t been briefed on all of this, 19-year-old Niemann beat Carlsen in a match at the Sinquefield Cup in St. Louis on Sept. 4, 2022. It was an upset so historic that some people assumed Niemann had cheated. Carlsen has implied as much without directly saying he lost the September 4 match because of it. In a digital match between the two on the 19th, Carlsen resigned after one move and shut off his webcam. Niemann has admitted to cheating in the past and Chess.com banned him from playing on the site. He said he was ashamed of this, however, and denied cheating in other matches.

That hasn’t stopped people from theorizing how the buzzing anal bead theory—which, again, has no evidence to support it—may have worked in practice, though. The chess matches and board state are broadcast live, so a team could watch the board, feed it into an AI chess player, and communicate the AI’s moves back to Niemann. In the anal bead theory, Niemann’s team would vibrate the anal beads in a certain way that would tell the 31-year-old player how to move. A cam site has even offered Niemann $1 million to play nude and prove he’s not using an AI-powered sex toy.

Computers have been better at chess than humans since Deep Blue defeated Gary Kasparov in 1997. Finding a computer system that can watch a board and tell a human player exactly how to move isn’t hard, but communicating that information to a player who is sitting in front of cameras and playing a live match with a human opponent is harder.

Enter ButtFish, the brainchild of Ron Sijm, a software architect in the Netherlands.
“This project is mostly a meme,” Sijm said on ButtFish’s GitHub. Meme or not, he’s pretty far along. Sijm adapted Sockfish, a program that uses a chess engine and vibrations to communicate to internet of things devices. Sockfish was designed to vibrate a motor in someone’s shoe, but Sijm’s system would have a team watching the board, running the chess AI, and sending morse code vibrations to a device up someone’s butt. He’s still trying to figure out which sex toy would be best.

1664300531378-192335511-f8a3d559-ad29-443b-ab3f-c45125b1e100.png
SIJM'S VENN DIAGRAM MEME. FROM BUTTFISH GITHUB.
Sijm told Motherboard he’s not a huge chess person, but that he does play. “I play a couple of games a week on chess.com for fun, but I’m very low level. But it gets recommended to me in my YouTube algorithm,” he said. When the cheating scandal happened, his feed was flooded with talk of Niemann’s victory. “I’ve been following it pretty much the whole journey.”

The biggest knock against the vibrating anal beads theory is that it would be incredibly hard to translate a series of vibrations felt in the ass into a workable chess move. “I’m sending morse code. I’m not sure if that’s the leading theory. You can set any kind of code, of course, but I’m not sure how easy it is to recognize those kinds of codes,” Sijm said.

Sijm’s system sends long and short pulses to a device. A chess board is an 8-by-8 grid where every square corresponds to an alphanumeric coordinate. If you want to move the pawn in A2 to A4, you’d vibrate the morse code for A2, wait briefly, then vibrate the morse code for A4.


Sijm was already familiar with the internet of things and tested the system using lights in his house. “I actually have a lot of internet of things myself. Like, I have lamps and curtains I can control,” he said. “I just didn’t have any butt plug-related stuff.”
With the code built, Sijm started hunting for a butt plug or set of anal beads to test his theory. He’s turned to a community that knows the systems best, the butt plug sex toy control project Buttplug.io. Sijm has been talking with the folks on Buttplug.io Discord server in an effort to find someone who already has a device and is willing to test the software.

Sijm said coding out the basic software took about four hours and that, hypothetically, it would be easy for someone like Niemann or his team to put together. The list of compatible anal vibrating devices is long. “There theory is that he used anal beads,” he said. “That might make it easier to send signals. Let’s say you have eight of those. The board is eight by eight. That might make it easier to communicate…I’m not sure if you can individually determine the beads.”
He’s still not sure Niemannn cheated, though. “It is of course suspicious,” he said. “But it could be luck or it could be that Magnus had a bad day… maybe it’s not even possible to do this. That’s why I thought to make this program. Let people try. Maybe if people figure out it doesn’t even work at all, then this whole theory of butt plugs was just a waste of time.”Sijm was already familiar with the internet of things and tested the system using lights in his house. “I actually have a lot of internet of things myself. Like, I have lamps and curtains I can control,” he said. “I just didn’t have any butt plug-related stuff.”

The list of compatible anal vibrating devices is long. “There theory is that he used anal beads,” he said. “That might make it easier to send signals. Let’s say you have eight of those. The board is eight by eight. That might make it easier to communicate…I’m not sure if you can individually determine the beads.”
He’s still not sure Niemannn cheated, though. “It is of course suspicious,” he said. “But it could be luck or it could be that Magnus had a bad day… maybe it’s not even possible to do this. That’s why I thought to make this program. Let people try. Maybe if people figure out it doesn’t even work at all, then this whole theory of butt plugs was just a waste of time.”

 
Last edited:

Hoosierhawkeye

HR Legend
Sep 16, 2008
47,631
40,131
113
40
So I'm curious if there is actually any evidence for this or if they are just accusing him of cheating because it was a big upset and he has cheated in the past.

To be fair I don't know why they allow cheaters in things like this to continue to play after a temporary suspension. Because once you've done it any victory you have after that even extremely legit ones can be called into question.
 
Nov 22, 2015
2,302
2,414
113

Did Hans Neimann Cheat at Chess With a Sex Toy? This Coder Is Attempting to Find Out.​



ButtFish is a program that, hypothetically, would let someone communicate to an AI chess program using a butt plug.

By Matthew Gault

1664300688864-1662747732033-screen-shot-2022-09-09-at-112149-am.png


A cheating controversy rocking the chess world just won’t let up. One conspiracy theory promoted by Elon Musk without evidence is that young chess wiz Hans Niemannn defeated world chess champion Magnus Carlsen in early September with the aid of a vibrating set of anal beads.

It’s an intriguing idea, but is such a thing even possible? Ron Sijm, a software engineer in the Netherlands, wants to find out and has developed software to test the theory. He’s posted the code to open-source coding platform GitHub, and all he needs now is the right sex toy.

“I’m not sure if anyone actually tried to test it in practice,” he told Motherboard. “That’s why I built the library, to actually test this.”

For those who haven’t been briefed on all of this, 19-year-old Niemann beat Carlsen in a match at the Sinquefield Cup in St. Louis on Sept. 4, 2022. It was an upset so historic that some people assumed Niemann had cheated. Carlsen has implied as much without directly saying he lost the September 4 match because of it. In a digital match between the two on the 19th, Carlsen resigned after one move and shut off his webcam. Niemann has admitted to cheating in the past and Chess.com banned him from playing on the site. He said he was ashamed of this, however, and denied cheating in other matches.

That hasn’t stopped people from theorizing how the buzzing anal bead theory—which, again, has no evidence to support it—may have worked in practice, though. The chess matches and board state are broadcast live, so a team could watch the board, feed it into an AI chess player, and communicate the AI’s moves back to Niemann. In the anal bead theory, Niemann’s team would vibrate the anal beads in a certain way that would tell the 31-year-old player how to move. A cam site has even offered Niemann $1 million to play nude and prove he’s not using an AI-powered sex toy.

Computers have been better at chess than humans since Deep Blue defeated Gary Kasparov in 1997. Finding a computer system that can watch a board and tell a human player exactly how to move isn’t hard, but communicating that information to a player who is sitting in front of cameras and playing a live match with a human opponent is harder.

Enter ButtFish, the brainchild of Ron Sijm, a software architect in the Netherlands.
“This project is mostly a meme,” Sijm said on ButtFish’s GitHub. Meme or not, he’s pretty far along. Sijm adapted Sockfish, a program that uses a chess engine and vibrations to communicate to internet of things devices. Sockfish was designed to vibrate a motor in someone’s shoe, but Sijm’s system would have a team watching the board, running the chess AI, and sending morse code vibrations to a device up someone’s butt. He’s still trying to figure out which sex toy would be best.

1664300531378-192335511-f8a3d559-ad29-443b-ab3f-c45125b1e100.png
SIJM'S VENN DIAGRAM MEME. FROM BUTTFISH GITHUB.
Sijm told Motherboard he’s not a huge chess person, but that he does play. “I play a couple of games a week on chess.com for fun, but I’m very low level. But it gets recommended to me in my YouTube algorithm,” he said. When the cheating scandal happened, his feed was flooded with talk of Niemann’s victory. “I’ve been following it pretty much the whole journey.”

The biggest knock against the vibrating anal beads theory is that it would be incredibly hard to translate a series of vibrations felt in the ass into a workable chess move. “I’m sending morse code. I’m not sure if that’s the leading theory. You can set any kind of code, of course, but I’m not sure how easy it is to recognize those kinds of codes,” Sijm said.

Sijm’s system sends long and short pulses to a device. A chess board is an 8-by-8 grid where every square corresponds to an alphanumeric coordinate. If you want to move the pawn in A2 to A4, you’d vibrate the morse code for A2, wait briefly, then vibrate the morse code for A4.


Sijm was already familiar with the internet of things and tested the system using lights in his house. “I actually have a lot of internet of things myself. Like, I have lamps and curtains I can control,” he said. “I just didn’t have any butt plug-related stuff.”
With the code built, Sijm started hunting for a butt plug or set of anal beads to test his theory. He’s turned to a community that knows the systems best, the butt plug sex toy control project Buttplug.io. Sijm has been talking with the folks on Buttplug.io Discord server in an effort to find someone who already has a device and is willing to test the software.

Sijm said coding out the basic software took about four hours and that, hypothetically, it would be easy for someone like Niemann or his team to put together. The list of compatible anal vibrating devices is long. “There theory is that he used anal beads,” he said. “That might make it easier to send signals. Let’s say you have eight of those. The board is eight by eight. That might make it easier to communicate…I’m not sure if you can individually determine the beads.”
He’s still not sure Niemannn cheated, though. “It is of course suspicious,” he said. “But it could be luck or it could be that Magnus had a bad day… maybe it’s not even possible to do this. That’s why I thought to make this program. Let people try. Maybe if people figure out it doesn’t even work at all, then this whole theory of butt plugs was just a waste of time.”Sijm was already familiar with the internet of things and tested the system using lights in his house. “I actually have a lot of internet of things myself. Like, I have lamps and curtains I can control,” he said. “I just didn’t have any butt plug-related stuff.”

The list of compatible anal vibrating devices is long. “There theory is that he used anal beads,” he said. “That might make it easier to send signals. Let’s say you have eight of those. The board is eight by eight. That might make it easier to communicate…I’m not sure if you can individually determine the beads.”
He’s still not sure Niemannn cheated, though. “It is of course suspicious,” he said. “But it could be luck or it could be that Magnus had a bad day… maybe it’s not even possible to do this. That’s why I thought to make this program. Let people try. Maybe if people figure out it doesn’t even work at all, then this whole theory of butt plugs was just a waste of time.”

Seriously, how do you come up with this stuff?
 

Nole Lou

HR Heisman
Apr 5, 2002
5,079
10,728
113
I'm curious how you would actually make the connection. If it was wifi, that seems like it would have a pretty limited range, and you'd have to have someone pretty much in the building to connect the...um...device to on a wifi network, right?

I'm just wondering how the device communicates with an AI team presumably in some other location.
 
Oct 25, 2020
5,336
8,073
113
So I'm curious if there is actually any evidence for this or if they are just accusing him of cheating because it was a big upset and he has cheated in the past.

To be fair I don't know why they allow cheaters in things like this to continue to play after a temporary suspension. Because once you've done it any victory you have after that even extremely legit ones can be called into question.
I haven’t heard of any evidence. It was an online joke that people kept joking about to the point Elon Musk made a joke about it and then it blew up.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ol' Dirty Bastard

cheeselog8

HR All-State
Gold Member
Feb 7, 2013
767
1,022
93
Huh I guess I need to brush up on my morse code. A lost art no more.
 

SL Hawk Fan

HR Heisman
Feb 5, 2003
5,289
5,732
113
“I actually have a lot of internet of things myself. Like, I have lamps and curtains I can control,” he said. “I just didn’t have any butt plug-related stuff.”

Boy, if had a dollar for every time I heard that lame excuse.
 

Hoosierhawkeye

HR Legend
Sep 16, 2008
47,631
40,131
113
40
I haven’t heard of any evidence. It was an online joke that people kept joking about to the point Elon Musk made a joke about it and then it blew up.

That sucks for him if he didn't cheat though. Almost certainly the biggest victory of his life and it's being called into question by everyone.

Of course once you cheat though then you can every victory called into question because you did it once. Honestly that's why I wonder if it's a good idea to let cheaters play again. Magnus almost certainly is feeling cheated and because the guy has admitting to cheating in the past you can't exactly call him a poor sport for implying his opponent may have cheated.
 

IACub

HR Legend
Sep 25, 2009
22,528
32,164
113
Iowa City, IA
So I'm curious if there is actually any evidence for this or if they are just accusing him of cheating because it was a big upset and he has cheated in the past.

To be fair I don't know why they allow cheaters in things like this to continue to play after a temporary suspension. Because once you've done it any victory you have after that even extremely legit ones can be called into question.
I'm guessing his leg was quivering before each move.
 

BelemNole

HR Legend
Mar 29, 2002
33,411
69,949
113
That sucks for him if he didn't cheat though. Almost certainly the biggest victory of his life and it's being called into question by everyone.

Of course once you cheat though then you can every victory called into question because you did it once. Honestly that's why I wonder if it's a good idea to let cheaters play again. Magnus almost certainly is feeling cheated and because the guy has admitting to cheating in the past you can't exactly call him a poor sport for implying his opponent may have cheated.
He was a mid level player. Very good, but not a grand master. He started increasing in ranking very rapidly recently with online wins - suspicious. He as a history of cheating on-line, more suspicious. He beat someone who plays levels above him, like a HS player beating the best in the NFL. He did so by making moves that are typical of computer play, not human.
People like Magnus lose because they make a mistake. They know why they lost and they understand what the other person was doing and what their strategy was. This guy isn't playing grand master level chess, he's suddenly making very usual moves that are typical of an AI at critical times during an otherwise underwhelming game.
So yes, if they think he's cheating it's almost certain he's cheating.
 

Hoosierhawkeye

HR Legend
Sep 16, 2008
47,631
40,131
113
40
He was a mid level player. Very good, but not a grand master. He started increasing in ranking very rapidly recently with online wins - suspicious. He as a history of cheating on-line, more suspicious. He beat someone who plays levels above him, like a HS player beating the best in the NFL. He did so by making moves that are typical of computer play, not human.
People like Magnus lose because they make a mistake. They know why they lost and they understand what the other person was doing and what their strategy was. This guy isn't playing grand master level chess, he's suddenly making very usual moves that are typical of an AI at critical times during an otherwise underwhelming game.
So yes, if they think he's cheating it's almost certain he's cheating.

Honestly I think in his next tournament he's going to have to be strip searched or something. I don't see how else you completely eliminate the possibility of him cheating.
 

sultanofsuede

HR Heisman
Nov 30, 2004
7,756
1,459
113
He was a mid level player. Very good, but not a grand master. He started increasing in ranking very rapidly recently with online wins - suspicious. He as a history of cheating on-line, more suspicious. He beat someone who plays levels above him, like a HS player beating the best in the NFL. He did so by making moves that are typical of computer play, not human.
People like Magnus lose because they make a mistake. They know why they lost and they understand what the other person was doing and what their strategy was. This guy isn't playing grand master level chess, he's suddenly making very usual moves that are typical of an AI at critical times during an otherwise underwhelming game.
So yes, if they think he's cheating it's almost certain he's cheating.
Yeah. It’s hard for someone that doesn’t follow chess to fathom (I barely do), but Magnus would know if he is playing a cheater. He’s been beat before and didn’t accuse those opponents.
 

Hoosierhawkeye

HR Legend
Sep 16, 2008
47,631
40,131
113
40
Yeah. It’s hard for someone that doesn’t follow chess to fathom (I barely do), but Magnus would know if he is playing a cheater. He’s been beat before and didn’t accuse those opponents.

Maybe but those players where likely closer to him in level.

I don't think that would necessarily know if he's playing a cheater or not. But there is enough reason to suspect this kid of cheating given his history and his rapid rise in playing level that I would not say that he's being a poor sport by saying that he thinks the kid is cheating.

I suspect the only way to figure it out really is to put in place super enhanced security measures around this kid at chess tournaments and see if he continues playing at the level he was when he beat Magnus.
 

Joes Place

HR King
Aug 28, 2003
125,446
121,624
113

Did Hans Neimann Cheat at Chess With a Sex Toy? This Coder Is Attempting to Find Out.​



ButtFish is a program that, hypothetically, would let someone communicate to an AI chess program using a butt plug.

By Matthew Gault

1664300688864-1662747732033-screen-shot-2022-09-09-at-112149-am.png


A cheating controversy rocking the chess world just won’t let up. One conspiracy theory promoted by Elon Musk without evidence is that young chess wiz Hans Niemannn defeated world chess champion Magnus Carlsen in early September with the aid of a vibrating set of anal beads.

It’s an intriguing idea, but is such a thing even possible? Ron Sijm, a software engineer in the Netherlands, wants to find out and has developed software to test the theory. He’s posted the code to open-source coding platform GitHub, and all he needs now is the right sex toy.

“I’m not sure if anyone actually tried to test it in practice,” he told Motherboard. “That’s why I built the library, to actually test this.”

For those who haven’t been briefed on all of this, 19-year-old Niemann beat Carlsen in a match at the Sinquefield Cup in St. Louis on Sept. 4, 2022. It was an upset so historic that some people assumed Niemann had cheated. Carlsen has implied as much without directly saying he lost the September 4 match because of it. In a digital match between the two on the 19th, Carlsen resigned after one move and shut off his webcam. Niemann has admitted to cheating in the past and Chess.com banned him from playing on the site. He said he was ashamed of this, however, and denied cheating in other matches.

That hasn’t stopped people from theorizing how the buzzing anal bead theory—which, again, has no evidence to support it—may have worked in practice, though. The chess matches and board state are broadcast live, so a team could watch the board, feed it into an AI chess player, and communicate the AI’s moves back to Niemann. In the anal bead theory, Niemann’s team would vibrate the anal beads in a certain way that would tell the 31-year-old player how to move. A cam site has even offered Niemann $1 million to play nude and prove he’s not using an AI-powered sex toy.

Computers have been better at chess than humans since Deep Blue defeated Gary Kasparov in 1997. Finding a computer system that can watch a board and tell a human player exactly how to move isn’t hard, but communicating that information to a player who is sitting in front of cameras and playing a live match with a human opponent is harder.

Enter ButtFish, the brainchild of Ron Sijm, a software architect in the Netherlands.
“This project is mostly a meme,” Sijm said on ButtFish’s GitHub. Meme or not, he’s pretty far along. Sijm adapted Sockfish, a program that uses a chess engine and vibrations to communicate to internet of things devices. Sockfish was designed to vibrate a motor in someone’s shoe, but Sijm’s system would have a team watching the board, running the chess AI, and sending morse code vibrations to a device up someone’s butt. He’s still trying to figure out which sex toy would be best.

1664300531378-192335511-f8a3d559-ad29-443b-ab3f-c45125b1e100.png
SIJM'S VENN DIAGRAM MEME. FROM BUTTFISH GITHUB.
Sijm told Motherboard he’s not a huge chess person, but that he does play. “I play a couple of games a week on chess.com for fun, but I’m very low level. But it gets recommended to me in my YouTube algorithm,” he said. When the cheating scandal happened, his feed was flooded with talk of Niemann’s victory. “I’ve been following it pretty much the whole journey.”

The biggest knock against the vibrating anal beads theory is that it would be incredibly hard to translate a series of vibrations felt in the ass into a workable chess move. “I’m sending morse code. I’m not sure if that’s the leading theory. You can set any kind of code, of course, but I’m not sure how easy it is to recognize those kinds of codes,” Sijm said.

Sijm’s system sends long and short pulses to a device. A chess board is an 8-by-8 grid where every square corresponds to an alphanumeric coordinate. If you want to move the pawn in A2 to A4, you’d vibrate the morse code for A2, wait briefly, then vibrate the morse code for A4.


Sijm was already familiar with the internet of things and tested the system using lights in his house. “I actually have a lot of internet of things myself. Like, I have lamps and curtains I can control,” he said. “I just didn’t have any butt plug-related stuff.”
With the code built, Sijm started hunting for a butt plug or set of anal beads to test his theory. He’s turned to a community that knows the systems best, the butt plug sex toy control project Buttplug.io. Sijm has been talking with the folks on Buttplug.io Discord server in an effort to find someone who already has a device and is willing to test the software.

Sijm said coding out the basic software took about four hours and that, hypothetically, it would be easy for someone like Niemann or his team to put together. The list of compatible anal vibrating devices is long. “There theory is that he used anal beads,” he said. “That might make it easier to send signals. Let’s say you have eight of those. The board is eight by eight. That might make it easier to communicate…I’m not sure if you can individually determine the beads.”
He’s still not sure Niemannn cheated, though. “It is of course suspicious,” he said. “But it could be luck or it could be that Magnus had a bad day… maybe it’s not even possible to do this. That’s why I thought to make this program. Let people try. Maybe if people figure out it doesn’t even work at all, then this whole theory of butt plugs was just a waste of time.”Sijm was already familiar with the internet of things and tested the system using lights in his house. “I actually have a lot of internet of things myself. Like, I have lamps and curtains I can control,” he said. “I just didn’t have any butt plug-related stuff.”

The list of compatible anal vibrating devices is long. “There theory is that he used anal beads,” he said. “That might make it easier to send signals. Let’s say you have eight of those. The board is eight by eight. That might make it easier to communicate…I’m not sure if you can individually determine the beads.”
He’s still not sure Niemannn cheated, though. “It is of course suspicious,” he said. “But it could be luck or it could be that Magnus had a bad day… maybe it’s not even possible to do this. That’s why I thought to make this program. Let people try. Maybe if people figure out it doesn’t even work at all, then this whole theory of butt plugs was just a waste of time.”


Venn Diagram = Perfection
 
  • Like
Reactions: WhiteSoxClone