I am hung like a barnacle

[torbee]

Barnacles are found wherever hard surfaces meet seawater, including boats, moorings and whale heads. They look like little rocks, but they’re actually crustaceans—close relatives of crabs and shrimp. While their relatives walk about, barnacles affix themselves to a surface, and filter food from the water with protruding paddling legs. This stationary life poses a problem when it comes to mating, especially since barnacles apparently have to fertilise each other internally.

They do so with a huge penis, which blindly reaches across into neighbouring shells and deposits sperm inside. This giant organ can stretch up to eight times a barnacle’s own body length, making it proportionately the biggest penis in the animal world. Each individual can fertilise and be fertilised by all of its neighbours. And if there’s no one else within reach, the barnacles apparently fertilise themselves.

 

[QChawks]

ok loogey

 

[BrianNole09]

CSB

 

[hawkbred]

Barnacles are found wherever hard surfaces meet seawater, including boats, moorings and whale heads. They look like little rocks, but they’re actually crustaceans—close relatives of crabs and shrimp. While their relatives walk about, barnacles affix themselves to a surface, and filter food from the water with protruding paddling legs. This stationary life poses a problem when it comes to mating, especially since barnacles apparently have to fertilise each other internally.

They do so with a huge penis, which blindly reaches across into neighbouring shells and deposits sperm inside. This giant organ can stretch up to eight times a barnacle’s own body length, making it proportionately the biggest penis in the animal world. Each individual can fertilise and be fertilised by all of its neighbours. And if there’s no one else within reach, the barnacles apparently fertilise themselves.

I blame the massive wood penis on a cliff thread.

 

[millah_22]

ok loogey

I miss him

 

[SailorJerryHawk]

Has Mrs Torbee been fishing lately?

 

[lucas80]

My takeaway is that the OP is on vacation and self fertilized himself today.

 

[hawkeye54545]

OP's mom can tell him most of our penis sizes.

 

[ping72]

Time for OPs Mom to scrape her barnacles again.

 

[Foxclone]

I relate someone with barnacles of having poor hygiene in not wiping very well. Power wash the bung!

 

[Hy_dro]

I miss him

Just visit TOS and you'll get your fix.

His schtick gets old.

 

[ping72]

ok loogey

I miss him

I don’t.

 

[BABiscuit]

Not to scale. Actual size.

 

[CJ Beat Hard]

Barnacles are found wherever hard surfaces meet seawater, including boats, moorings and whale heads. They look like little rocks, but they’re actually crustaceans—close relatives of crabs and shrimp. While their relatives walk about, barnacles affix themselves to a surface, and filter food from the water with protruding paddling legs. This stationary life poses a problem when it comes to mating, especially since barnacles apparently have to fertilise each other internally.

They do so with a huge penis, which blindly reaches across into neighbouring shells and deposits sperm inside. This giant organ can stretch up to eight times a barnacle’s own body length, making it proportionately the biggest penis in the animal world. Each individual can fertilise and be fertilised by all of its neighbours. And if there’s no one else within reach, the barnacles apparently fertilise themselves.