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I saw a smoking hot woman in church this morning

Hawk-A-Loogey

HR Legend
Jan 30, 2002
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I saw a super hot woman in church this morning. Yeah, I know, you ain't supposed to notice these things in church, but what can I say -- the flesh is weak.

Anyway, this gal has three little girls, and she's probably pushing 40. But, holy crap, she has the body of a hot college girl. Very thin, with long, gorgeous legs and probably a small C-cup. She is so pretty that she hurts your eyes.

She does have the "Dallas" look -- the nails, makeup, hair, perfect clothes, etc. But not gaudy. And her three girls are always immaculate in both appearance and behavior. And this lady just has a sexy, but not affected, walk -- her hips and butt just sway so nicely over those beautiful gams.

In fact, when I got home from church, I went straight to the bathroom, lubed up, pictured her hot body and sexy walk, and masturbated.

But here's the funny thing: her husband is the cranky old Texan. I mean, the guy looks like a old farmer. When I first saw him, I just assumed he was her dad. But then I asked my wife, and she said "no, that's her husband."

How does this stuff happen? My wife thinks that this guy may have been more of a "catch" when they first married, but he didn't age well. And, you know, some women are just like fine wine: they get better every year. And maybe she's one of those women.

But I just look at guys like that and I wonder if they know how damn lucky they are. Do you think that he knows that his wife is an insanely hot Texas babe, and that he's a crusty old fart? He sits there in church with this grumpy scowl like he hasn't taken a crap in over a week. And I'm thinking, "what's with the scowl you lucky old bastard? don't you know how good you got it?"

Dang, this woman is just smokin' -- and I mean SMOKING! -- hot. She has a pretty enough face to be a Cosmo model, but without the emaciated, nasty, Kate Moss body. She just has a perfect body. Nice tan legs, a sweet ass, and perfect natural tits. Very, very nice.

Regards,

Loog -- an admirer of the female form
 
See, church IS good for you.

What religion are you Loog. If there's one with the hottest looking women, I could see converting. The chicks in mine might have been hot forty years ago.
 
far superior to your locker room post in every way imaginable.
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Originally posted by MMMM....Good69:
DOes your wife know u just rubbed one off to the hot chick in church???

I didn't tell her, but I know she wouldn't give a crap. She has a simple rule: fantasizing about other women is fine; screwing them is not. And I follow that rule.
 
Originally posted by Hawk-A-Loogey:

Originally posted by MMMM....Good69:
DOes your wife know u just rubbed one off to the hot chick in church???

I didn't tell her, but I know she wouldn't give a crap. She has a simple rule: fantasizing about other women is fine; screwing them is not. And I follow that rule.


I think that is probably a good idea.
 
Re: I saw a smoking hot dude in church this morning

Fixed your post for ya Loog.

Originally posted by Hawk-A-Loogey:
I saw a super hot dude in church this morning. Yeah, I know, you ain't supposed to notice these things in church, but what can I say -- the flesh is weak.

Anyway, this guy has three little girls, and he's probably pushing 40. But, holy crap, he has the body of a hot college guy. Very athletic, with muscular arms and probably a large tool. He is so pretty that he hurts your eyes.

He does have the "Dallas" look -- the cowboy hat, chaps, wife beater, etc. But not gaudy. And his three girls are always immaculate in both appearance and behavior. And this hot piece of manmeat just has a sexy, but not affected, walk -- his hips and butt just sway so nicely over those beautiful gams.

In fact, when I got home from church, I went straight to the bathroom, lubed up, pictured his hot body and sexy walk, and masturbated.

But here's the funny thing: his wife is the cranky old Texan. I mean, the old hag looks like an old farmer. When I first saw her, I just assumed she was his mom. But then I asked my wife, and she said "no, that's his wife."

How does this stuff happen? My wife thinks that this old lady may have been more of a "catch" when they first married, but she didn't age well. And, you know, some dudes are just like fine wine: they get better every year. And maybe he's one of those dudes.

But I just look at ladies like that and I wonder if they know how damn lucky they are. Do you think that she knows that her hubby is an insanely hot Texas hottie, and that she's a crusty old fart? She sits there in church with this grumpy scowl like she hasn't taken a crap in over a week. And I'm thinking, "what's with the scowl you lucky old bitch? don't you know how good you got it?"

Dang, this dude is just smokin' -- and I mean SMOKING! -- hot. He has pretty enough face to be a GQ model and a perfect body. Nice tan legs, a sweet ass, and perfect natural pecs. Very, very nice.

Regards,

Loog -- an admirer of the male form

 
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Originally posted by Hawk-A-Loogey:
Originally posted by MMMM....Good69:
DOes your wife know u just rubbed one off to the hot chick in church???

I didn't tell her, but I know she wouldn't give a crap. She has a simple rule: fantasizing about other women is fine; screwing them is not. And I follow that rule.


It's because of your giant tool, isn't it?
 
Originally posted by Hawk-A-Loogey:
I didn't tell her, but I know she wouldn't give a crap. She has a simple rule: fantasizing about other women is fine; screwing them is not. And I follow that rule.


Should we assume she's alright with all the guys you screw?
 
Originally posted by AntiSocial:
Loogey,

You've been around long enough to know the rules...

Where the hell is the PIC?

This woman is so hot ... I'm afraid taking a picture of her might break my camera. The image of that sexy ass might burn a hole in my memory card.
 
Originally posted by Hawk-A-Loogey:
Originally posted by AntiSocial:
Loogey,

You've been around long enough to know the rules...

Where the hell is the PIC?

This woman is so hot ... I'm afraid taking a picture of her might break my camera. The image of that sexy ass might burn a hole in my memory card.


you always have been quite the 'ass man'.... if you know what i mean.
 
Seems to me if this lady wanted to be thankful with Loog that he wouldn't even blink an eye.
 
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.
 
Originally posted by XLargeHawk:
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.

Wow, harsh. Are you a priest or something??
 
Originally posted by XLargeHawk:
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.

Wait a minute ... I don't get this. So you're telling me that I should never go in a church building again because I'm "sick". But, if I'm truly sick, then it seems to me that I'm exactly the kind of person who needs to be in church every Sunday.

And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. Luke 5:31



This post was edited on 4/24 12:31 PM by Hawk-A-Loogeyif(GetAdminCookie() != 0) {document.write(' (Revisions[/URL])');}
 
Loog, I know what you mean. I go to church almost every sunday here, and there are so many hot women that it is hard not to look. We are human after all. I don't go home and masterbate afterwards, but the wife might get some extra attention.
 
Loog, do you ever penetrate your anus with a finger or vibrator when you are fantasizing about someone else's wife and pleasuring yourself. Also if you make a mess who cleans it up, and do you honor the Sabbath and wait until monday to do so?
 
Originally posted by XLargeHawk:
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.
Funny. Most everyone that I have heard speak on behalf of "God's glory" turns out to be rather hypocritical themselves.
 
Originally posted by ilhawkeye:
say she was divorced, 39 years old with 2 kids. would you date her if you were 27?

Loog, if she is as hot as you are claiming, you damned well better say yes.
 
Originally posted by Hawk-A-Loogey:

Originally posted by XLargeHawk:
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.

Wait a minute ... I don't get this. So you're telling me that I should never go in a church building again because I'm "sick". But, if I'm truly sick, then it seems to me that I'm exactly the kind of person who needs to be in church every Sunday.

And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. Luke 5:31



No. I'm saying never go in one again while you're intentionally a lusting nasty hypocrite. You're not going in to be healed. You're going in there and abusing the time. A pious God fearing woman would be horrified if she found out what you're doing with your vision of her. It reminds of a drunk who goes into rehab and sneaks some booze in to drink at night. You're wasting your time.
 
Originally posted by XLargeHawk:
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.

It's not like he masturbated in the actual church.

I'm not sure how Loog can be called a hypocrite. He's pretty much laid it out there in the past that he likes to rub his large tool. If he shunned folks for stroking their own tool and then did it he would be a hypocrite because he would have preached against it.

Besides, even if he was there are countless hypocrites in churches every Sunday. You know, the people that only go so that their community thinks they are good people when everyone knows the husband is banging the secretary, the wife is doing the pool boy and their kids are either the town whores or are raging drug addicts. Most churches would be close to empty without those folks.
 
Originally posted by THEBOSS77:

Originally posted by XLargeHawk:
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.
Funny. Most everyone that I have heard speak on behalf of "God's glory" turns out to be rather hypocritical themselves.

"Most" may be the key word in your statement.
 
Loog, lets say she wanted to shag in the church and being over 40, her natural lubrication system isn't quite what it used to be. Your throat is also partched from singing hymms all morning. Would you use Holy Water to lube up little Loogie?
 
Originally posted by HAWKSTAT:
XL Hawk - Your plan to keep sinners out of the church may backfire on you.

I don't try to keep sinners out. God commands we keep continous willful non-repentant sinners out.
 
Originally posted by hawknbuck:

Originally posted by XLargeHawk:
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.

It's not like he masturbated in the actual church.

Whether in or outside a church building is irrelevant. The people are the church, not the structure.
 
Originally posted by XLargeHawk:

Originally posted by HAWKSTAT:
XL Hawk - Your plan to keep sinners out of the church may backfire on you.

I don't try to keep sinners out. God commands we keep continous willful non-repentant sinners out.

You are a moron. You have no idea that Loog is a non repetent sinner. For the sole fact that one time he saw a good looking woman in church then proceeded to go home and rub one off to her means he doesn't repent for those sins? He did it in the comfort of his own home. He didn't leave the sermon to go to the bathroom and do it. I think your religious views of the christian relgion are misguided.
 
Originally posted by XLargeHawk:

Originally posted by hawknbuck:


Originally posted by XLargeHawk:
Loog, you're a sick, sick hypocrite. You bring shame instead of glory to God with posts like that. Do the world a favor and never go in a church building again.

It's not like he masturbated in the actual church.

Whether in or outside a church building is irrelevant. The people are the church, not the structure.

Please explain.

I'm curious to hear how what he did was any worse than any random person fantasizing about any other random person.

What if he repents his sin, does that make it better? Are you the Chuck Norris of the Church? How do you get to decide who should be there and who shouldn't be? Are you privy to other details in his life? Are you familiar with his relationship with God outside of one incident?

Honestly, asking someone who is in need of "spiritual guidance" to stay out of the Church may be the ultimate hypocrisy. You appear to be contradicting everything anyone has ever been told about the Church.
 
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Originally posted by ilhawkeye:
say she was divorced, 39 years old with 2 kids. would you date her if you were 27?

First of all, she has three kids.

And yes, I would absolutely date her if I were a single 27-year-old and she were a single mom. You freakin' would not believe how gorgeous this woman is. I still can't figure out why her hubby is so crabby all the time.
 
Originally posted by XLargeHawk:

Originally posted by HAWKSTAT:
XL Hawk - Your plan to keep sinners out of the church may backfire on you.

I don't try to keep sinners out. God commands we keep continous willful non-repentant sinners out.

Hmmm...when did God tell you this?
And doesn't condeming Loog for it make you a willful sinner as well?
 
To covet your neighbor's wife is to break one of the ten commandments. You are doomed.
 
Exhibit A:

Originally posted by Hawk-A-Loogey:
In fact, when I got home from church, I went straight to the bathroom, lubed up, pictured her hot body and sexy walk, and masturbated.

Exhibit B:

Originally posted by Hawk-A-Loogey:
...her husband is the cranky old Texan. I mean, the guy looks like a old farmer.

And Loogey thinks Exhibit B is "the funny thing"?
 
Originally posted by MMMM....Good69:
You are a moron. You have no idea that Loog is a non repetent sinner. For the sole fact that one time he saw a good looking woman in church then proceeded to go home and rub one off to her means he doesn't repent for those sins? He did it in the comfort of his own home. He didn't leave the sermon to go to the bathroom and do it. I think your religious views of the christian relgion are misguided.

Misguided? Do you think you understand repentance? What do you think it means?
 
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