If you don't flush the toilet at a bar..

claykenny

HR Legend
Gold Member
Feb 5, 2003
13,398
7,140
113
Colorado
eXbM1L.gif
 

Moral

HR Legend
Sep 29, 2017
24,844
76,425
113
When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.

So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.

I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.

I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.

One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.

That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.
 

Fan In Black

HR Legend
Nov 9, 2001
18,133
20,008
113
When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.

So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.

I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.

I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.

One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.

That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.
I wish we were friends back then.
 

ghost80

HR Heisman
Feb 24, 2009
9,285
7,254
113
The bars I frequent have the urinal block in the sink......no flushing involved.
 

Hawk-A-Doodle-Doo

HR Legend
Oct 1, 2001
20,250
9,304
113
Island of Misfit Message Board Posters
When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.

So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.

I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.

I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.

One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.

That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.
That's a great story. Thanks for sharing. It reminds Ol' Doodle of this one Wednesday trip to Ryan's Steakhouse......
 

HugeEddie

All-Conference
Gold Member
Aug 16, 2004
313
352
63
When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.

So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.

I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.

I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.

One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.

That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.
Was this at a bar in New Orleans by chance?
 

InsaneHawkJJP

HR MVP
Apr 1, 2013
1,765
2,805
113
Decorah
I’m ashamed to admit I’ve destroyed a few public bathrooms in my day.
The best thing to do after you take a huge dump in a public bathroom, if possible, is to drop the kids off at the pool, leave it, then switch stalls to wipe. The poor sucker who finds it, thinks the guy who left it didn’t even wipe. Hilarious!
 

WorldSeriesChamps2015

HR Legend
Gold Member
Jul 11, 2017
28,737
36,521
113
34
China
While we are on this subject, the most disgusting people are ones that shit on the toilet seat. How hard is it to shit in the toilet?
 

ThorneStockton

HR Legend
Oct 2, 2009
24,660
35,067
113
When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.

So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.

I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.

I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.

One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.

That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.

I would poop with you.
 

Dirt Boy 2

Rookie
Nov 3, 2014
64
47
18
This is how I convince my 3 year old to try and dookie at home before leaving on a trip. I reminded him not every one flushes at a gas station restroom. The moral indignation look he has comes from his mother. Knowing OP’s mom the way I do, I have a much different worldview.
 

THE_DEVIL

HR King
Aug 16, 2005
56,243
57,711
113
Hell, Michigan
www.livecoinwatch.com
I ask that question for about every public toilet.
Exactly. As an adult I have shit in a public bathroom (or work bathroom) probably not more than 10 times and I am just shy of 58 years old. In fact one time while working in Cedar Rapids I drove home to Coralville on lunch to shit. There have been some extremely close calls but so far no "fatal" accidents.