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I wish we were friends back then.When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.
So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.
I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.
I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.
One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.
That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.
Every man who came before you touched that flush lever after touching his junk.
Think about that.
Every man who came before you touched that flush lever after touching his junk.
Think about that.
That's a great story. Thanks for sharing. It reminds Ol' Doodle of this one Wednesday trip to Ryan's Steakhouse......When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.
So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.
I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.
I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.
One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.
That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.
Every man who came before you touched that flush lever after touching his junk.
Think about that.
That's a great story. Thanks for sharing. It reminds Ol' Doodle of this one Wednesday trip to Ryan's Steakhouse......
The bottom of my Nike's will encounter horror I will never know.That's why you flush with your foot.
Do you not wash your hands after peeing?
Was this at a bar in New Orleans by chance?When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.
So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.
I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.
I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.
One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.
That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.
There's a special place in hell for such people...you suck. Gross
Where is FBnBB???????
When I was younger I was on Xanax and drinking at a bar. I decided that I had to pee so I started to walk to the bathroom. I wondered if I looked weird walking because I felt really heavy, like I was carrying sand bags. By the time I get close to the bathroom I am being really self conscious about my walking so I start skimming across the wall to keep me on the right path and to look casual as hell.
So I am walking and looking casual, and I get to the bathroom door and I blow right by it. I hit the breaks and sway forward in front of the dart boards. I apologize to the fellas tossing some darts and start heading back towards the door. Naturally I do this by walking backwards. Did I also mention I was on cough medicine? I keep walking backwards until I clear the door and leave an additional 18 inches to operate the door.
I walk into the bathroom, the lights are off, and I slam the door so no one sees me. I get the door locked, and flip on the light. Because of cough medicine I was super sensitive to light, so turning it on made my legs give out, naturally. I hit my head on the sink and cut myself a bit which is good because it got me in the zone to go to the bathroom. I decide it is best to sit.
I only had to pee, but because I was high, had been drinking, and was potentially concussed I decide I must have been there to poop. A dick move because there was only one bathroom in the dive bar. At this point I had started to go into a swaying and knodding out type activity, where I would occasionally perk up real quick and encourage myself to just finish pooping.
One issue though, I had never started. I was just caught in a loop on the bathroom toilet. I managed to escape this loop 48 earth minutes later. Everyone was so proud of me that they had all gathered outside of the bathroom. For some reason they never started clapping.
That is why I don’t try to poop in bars anymore.
I do, but you don't wash your hands before going and flushing the toilet! (I do flush the toilet!)
Or you press the lever with your foot...
I stumbled into a bathroom in a bar in Idaho this past week. They had a sign "Please do not flush the toilet with your foot"
I definitely used my shoe.
Seriously? Why would they care as long as you aren't smashing it?
I thought it was funny, my guess is exactly that. Some drunk on one leg not able to maintain his balance, ended up kicking the piping and breaking the toilet or plumbing.
Who goes to a bar to take a dump?
Exactly. As an adult I have shit in a public bathroom (or work bathroom) probably not more than 10 times and I am just shy of 58 years old. In fact one time while working in Cedar Rapids I drove home to Coralville on lunch to shit. There have been some extremely close calls but so far no "fatal" accidents.I ask that question for about every public toilet.