Man wanted for sex act with cucumber in Northwest DC

[SoProudNole]

Police said they were investigating after a homeowner’s camera caught a man performing a sex act on himself with a cucumber in her driveway.

The Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) said it happened around 5:30 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 6 in the Truxton Circle neighborhood, not far from Dunbar High School.

DC News Now obtained video of the incident from the owner of the security camera who hoped sharing the footage, which she posted on Reddit, would help police identify the man in order to protect her neighbors and students.

“I was so disgusted, and freaked out,” Catherine Baker said, after reviewing the footage.

It was around dinnertime when Baker’s camera recorded a man with an apparent lunch box entering her driveway and lodging a cucumber in the grille of Baker’s SUV. The video shows the man checking to see if the coast is clear before turning his back to the SUV and beginning to use the cucumber in the sex act.



Link

 

[desihawk]

“..And of course, then he saves the cucumber for later, so it really leaves one with a lot of questions that no one wants to have on their mind,..”

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Did he use lube? Or just shove it up his arse?

 

[SoProudNole]

“It was that eye contact that really unsettled me"

 

[torbee]

https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Ftrespassing-lewd-and-indecent-behavior-with-a-cucumber-in-v0-c6a5s20h12od1.jpeg%3Fwidth%3D1170%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D9f4422dc26e36d250ffb10f0c25f425dbe4f5c2c

 

[Jimmy McGill]

I mean I've heard of strange stuff in my life, but placing a cucumber on the hood of the car and then bfing himself is a new one.

 

[HawCory]

 

[torbee]

Did he use lube?

I actually watched the video (which I regret a bit) but he did lick his fingers and then put them in his general butt area - so, sort of?

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Not sure I will look at cucumber the same again

 

[torbee]

Not sure I will look at cucumber the same again

Anything is a dildo if you are brave enough 🤷‍♂️

 

[Jimmy McGill]

I actually watched the video (which I regret a bit) but he did lick his fingers and then put them in his general butt area - so, sort of?

I noticed he licked his fingers afterwards

 

[Rifler]

Did he use lube? Or just shove it up his arse?

Anyone capable of pulling this off probably didn't require lube...

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

I mean I've heard of strange stuff in my life, but placing a cucumber on the hood of the car and then bfing himself is a new one.

Yeah, when I first saw the thread title I assumed he used it as a makeshift fleshlight.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Darwin award. Or mad genius?

 

[SoProudNole]

I actually watched the video (which I regret a bit) but he did lick his fingers and then put them in his general butt area - so, sort of?

 

[HROT]

Darwin award. Or mad genius?

Probably an immigrant because he took your job.


Got heeeeeem

 

[hawkirugged17]

Here's the description ...

 

[JMNSHO]

Gherkin off

 

[Rifler]

Pickle humor...

 

[QChawks]

how big?

 

[JMNSHO]

Pickle humor...

Something something Dill Do

 

[jonesy5960]

Did he use lube? Or just shove it up his arse?

Your being pretty presumptive with respect to how that cucumber was utilized.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Your being pretty presumptive with respect to how that cucumber was utilized.

Watch again. He was thrusting.

 

[RollingBallofButcherKnives]

I mean I've heard of strange stuff in my life, but placing a cucumber on the hood of the car and then bfing himself is a new one.

It’s not that uncommon…

 

[Rifler]

Just noticed that the title of this thread reads like a help wanted ad...

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Just noticed that the title of this thread reads like a help wanted ad...

My Gawd, How did I miss that? OP is likely trying to find out who is game to hook up with him and his vegetables. Garden harvest time.

 

[noleclone2]

Reminds me of the first dirty joke I ever heard on the playground around 2nd grade.

Mike, John and Steve died in an accident and were sent to hell. The devil took Mike into a room and asked him what his favorite fruit was. Mike said “grapes”. The devil then took him to a room full of grapes and said “go into this room and you will spend all of eternity shoving grapes up your butt”

The devil took John into a room and asked him what his favorite fruit was. John said “bananas”. The devil then took him to a room full of bananas and said “go into this room and you will spend all of eternity shoving bananas up your butt”

John said to the Devil “boy, I sure feel sorry for Steve”

The devil, curious, said “Why?”

John replied “because he sure loves himself some watermelons”

 

[Jimmy McGill]

My Gawd, How did I miss that? OP is likely trying to find out who is game to hook up with him and his vegetables. Garden harvest time.

 

[Aardvark86]

Didn’t any of you see animal house?

Sensual/sensuous, potato/potahto, cucumber…

 

[SoProudNole]

My Gawd, How did I miss that? OP is likely trying to find out who is game to hook up with him and his vegetables. Garden harvest time.

I'm more of a krab and model train guy.

 

[HawkInDC]

Did he use lube? Or just shove it up his arse?

Ranch dressing

 

[Rifler]

Reminds me of an episode from Shameless...

 

[Jerome Silberman]

I don't think that is kosher.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

I'm guess the profit margin is better with a cucumber than a sex toy.

I think Vegans should get united to pursue this guy

 

[onlyTheObvious]

I hope the reddit thread of a guy slicing a cucumber into salads at Olive Garden is unrelated.

 

[St. Louis Hawk]

Is the cucumber pressing charges? Victimless crime.

 

[alaskanseminole]

 

[Thunderlips71]

So long as it’s consensual what happens between a man and a cucumber is none of my business

 

[OILCHECKER]

Was the vehicle involved a Dodge Ram by chance?

 

[torbee]

Was the vehicle involved a Dodge Ram by chance?

Pathfinder