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My 3rd Grade daughter bought this book at school

SoProudNole

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Jan 19, 2004
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It's a "contemporary retelling" of "Little Women". she was interested in it because she was in a production of it earlier this year. In this telling one of the sisters comes out as gay.

She asked what that meant as it relates to girl as she thought only boys could be gay. When we explained it to her she said oh. OK. "What does 'bi' mean"?

Being in Florida I feel it should be my patriotic duty to burn the book and report my school board to the state.

What would your level of outrage be here, if any?

900
 
It's a "contemporary retelling" of "Little Women". she was interested in it because she was in a production of it earlier this year. In this telling one of the sisters comes out as gay.

She asked what that meant as it relates to girl as she thought only boys could be gay. When we explained it to her she said oh. OK. "What does 'bi' mean"?

Being in Florida I feel it should be my patriotic duty to burn the book and report my school board to the state.

What would your level of outrage be here, if any?

900

You definitely need to make a scene at the next school board meeting. It's the only logical thing to do.
 
Well to be honest, I think it's a good thing. You obviously had a good talk with her about what gay and bi means in what I hope was an opportunity for you to give guidance as a parent, on a difficult topic. Even as liberal as I am, I'm not sure there is a time I was ever going to sit my kids down and let them know there were LGBT people out there. If a book triggers that conversation, then so be it.
 
Off the charts.

Yeah, I was surprised a 3rd grader didn’t know some of that stuff, either.

But it sounds like OP had a good conversation with his daughter to help clear some things up for her. That’s good parenting.

I’m also outraged that some horrible parents try to shelter their kids from such things. It’s interesting how if you tell a 7 year old that some girls love other girls instead of boys...they’re just like “ok.” And that’s it. If you wait too long it gets to be a much harder conversation.
 
I'd take it as a time to explain that some boys like boys, some girls like girls, and some like both; and that's ok. It's also ok to be straight as well.

We had to explain it to my now 8 year old when he was five. His response was. "Oh, Ok" and then he went back to playing with his trucks. The only people getting outraged that kids get to know about how humans are are those who wish that humans weren't like that.
 
I'd take it as a time to explain that some boys like boys, some girls like girls, and some like both; and that's ok. It's also ok to be straight as well.

We had to explain it to my now 8 year old when he was five. His response was. "Oh, Ok" and then he went back to playing with his trucks. The only people getting outraged that kids get to know about how humans are are those who wish that humans weren't like that.

Well said.
 
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I'd take it as a time to explain that some boys like boys, some girls like girls, and some like both; and that's ok. It's also ok to be straight as well.

We had to explain it to my now 8 year old when he was five. His response was. "Oh, Ok" and then he went back to playing with his trucks. The only people getting outraged that kids get to know about how humans are are those who wish that humans weren't like that.

Sure. I think a lot of parents get uptight when it's someone else doing the teaching, or, they don't know exactly what they're teaching.
 
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It's a "contemporary retelling" of "Little Women". she was interested in it because she was in a production of it earlier this year. In this telling one of the sisters comes out as gay.

She asked what that meant as it relates to girl as she thought only boys could be gay. When we explained it to her she said oh. OK. "What does 'bi' mean"?

Being in Florida I feel it should be my patriotic duty to burn the book and report my school board to the state.

What would your level of outrage be here, if any?

900

Level of outrage? Zero. I have a 4th and 3rd grader. Both are well aware that some boys like boys, some girls like girls, and some like both.


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It's a "contemporary retelling" of "Little Women". she was interested in it because she was in a production of it earlier this year. In this telling one of the sisters comes out as gay.

She asked what that meant as it relates to girl as she thought only boys could be gay. When we explained it to her she said oh. OK. "What does 'bi' mean"?

Being in Florida I feel it should be my patriotic duty to burn the book and report my school board to the state.

What would your level of outrage be here, if any?

900
I remember my mother gave me “Catcher in the Rye” when I was about the same age. She told me the book talked about “body changes”, “growing up” and a lot of swearing" . If I had questions, I could ask her and she’d answer them the best she could. Holden was an interesting lad. I enjoyed the book. I told mom if there were other books she thought I could read, she could forward them to me.
 
Sure. I think a lot of parents get uptight when it's someone else doing the teaching, or, they don't know exactly what they're teaching.
I think some parents feel like their kids can be successfully protected from ever being exposed to things they don't like or agree with. I doubt that it's ever actually worked out like that before. Usually by the time parents bring something up, the kids are already fairly familiar with whatever it is.
 
Parenting is
I think some parents feel like their kids can be successfully protected from ever being exposed to things they don't like or agree with. I doubt that it's ever actually worked out like that before. Usually by the time parents bring something up, the kids are already fairly familiar with whatever it is.
a tough job...You got to “grow’em up”...you have to educate them, allow them to think for themselves...and then you gotta turn’em loose! The beauty of it is, if you are successful, you never have to “control them”...
 
I think some parents feel like their kids can be successfully protected from ever being exposed to things they don't like or agree with. I doubt that it's ever actually worked out like that before. Usually by the time parents bring something up, the kids are already fairly familiar with whatever it is.
Mostly, yes.

But I’ve also met some who were successfully sheltered...and then they struggled BAD at college or whatever real world endeavor they enter after escaping.

I’m of the opinion sheltering is much worse than honest conversations.
 
I think some parents feel like their kids can be successfully protected from ever being exposed to things they don't like or agree with. I doubt that it's ever actually worked out like that before. Usually by the time parents bring something up, the kids are already fairly familiar with whatever it is.

I suppose there may be those types, but I figured those that really had a problem with the gays would want to control the narrative on the topic moreso than just claiming they don't exist.
 
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Mostly, yes.

But I’ve also met some who were successfully sheltered...and then they struggled BAD at college or whatever real world endeavor they enter after escaping.

I’m of the opinion sheltering is much worse than honest conversations.
I lived my life extremely sheltered. That's a traumatic experience in it's own right. When you're told that you should be ashamed for natural sexual attraction, that looking at a woman and admiring her is a sin, that masturbation sends you to Hell, and the like it leads to some serious self hatred. And when you get in the real world later on without having been able to go through that evolution in a normal way in your teens it leads to an overly high fascination that took me tons of years to overcome.

I will not raise my kids that way.
 
I suppose there may be those types, but I figured those that really had a problem with the gays would want to control the narrative on the topic moreso than just claiming they don't exist.

I think the issue is most of those parents are woefully uneducated and think that if a 6 year old knows it’s “possible” for a man to love a man that they have opened the door for their kid “choosing” to be gay/trans/etc.

Which is completely asinine, but there are a lot who feel that way.
 
I lived my life extremely sheltered. That's a traumatic experience in it's own right. When you're told that you should be ashamed for natural sexual attraction, that looking at a woman and admiring her is a sin, that masturbation sends you to Hell, and the like it leads to some serious self hatred. And when you get in the real world later on without having been able to go through that evolution in a normal way in your teens it leads to an overly high fascination that took me tons of years to overcome.

I will not raise my kids that way.

Thank you for sharing that; that was pretty personal. I applaud you for trying to do better for your kids.
 
Mostly, yes.

But I’ve also met some who were successfully sheltered...and then they struggled BAD at college or whatever real world endeavor they enter after escaping.

I’m of the opinion sheltering is much worse than honest conversations.
I saw this a lot with alcohol when I was in college. Kids that had been sheltered from alcohol throughout their lives got to college where they were unattended for the first time ever, and they lost their mind. They were the ones with no sense at all of "moderation". It seemed like they were making up for lost time all at once.

It REALLY impacted how we raised the daughter. She was taught that alcohol just isn't that big of a deal. If you want a drink, okay. If you don't want a drink, okay. We combined that with the reality of too much alcohol hurting your ability to be safe and make smart decisions - like getting pass out drunk at a party and losing your ability to consent/fight off bad things that can happen. I'm sure only time will tell, but it seems like at least some of that has stuck so far.
 
Thank you for sharing that; that was pretty personal. I applaud you for trying to do better for your kids.
My parents were great people, but they bought into that Pentecostal Holiness nonsense hook line and sinker. I mean when your great-granddad, your granddad, and your Dad are all licensed ministers that tends to happen. And being told that everything is a sin, and that even the smallest sin can cause you to "lose your salvation" and "go to hell" then you start to hate everything about your humanity. It's one of the reasons I started thinking about suicide in my early 20's. Not all Christian theology is harmful, but that overly fundamentalist BS does tons of damage to your brain when you're young as you live life in a constant state of fear about God.
 
I think some parents feel like their kids can be successfully protected from ever being exposed to things they don't like or agree with. I doubt that it's ever actually worked out like that before. Usually by the time parents bring something up, the kids are already fairly familiar with whatever it is.


This. Like it or not, I think in a lot of situations, if not most, kids just feel more comfortable talking about things with their peers or well liked teachers before parents. And we trust our kids' friends and teachers enough to be OK with that. They also know they can talk with us about anything and we'll answer as best, and unawkwardly, as we can.
 
My parents were great people, but they bought into that Pentecostal Holiness nonsense hook line and sinker. I mean when your great-granddad, your granddad, and your Dad are all licensed ministers that tends to happen. And being told that everything is a sin, and that even the smallest sin can cause you to "lose your salvation" and "go to hell" then you start to hate everything about your humanity. It's one of the reasons I started thinking about suicide in my early 20's. Not all Christian theology is harmful, but that overly fundamentalist BS does tons of damage to your brain when you're young as you live life in a constant state of fear about God.

Had to grow up in that constant fear of god as well. I won’t touch that bullshit with a ten foot pole for the rest of my life.
 
It's a "contemporary retelling" of "Little Women". she was interested in it because she was in a production of it earlier this year. In this telling one of the sisters comes out as gay.

She asked what that meant as it relates to girl as she thought only boys could be gay. When we explained it to her she said oh. OK. "What does 'bi' mean"?

Being in Florida I feel it should be my patriotic duty to burn the book and report my school board to the state.

What would your level of outrage be here, if any?

900
Why not thank the district for encouraging a conversation between you and your third grader?

Isn't that the point?

You're welcome.
 
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