Based upon what I know about their father… I would say this is good advice. College is not for everyone.
Not helping pay for kids college when you can afford it
- Thread starter BABiscuit
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Based upon what I know about their father… I would say this is good advice. College is not for everyone.
Here is my deal with my kids. They are in grad school, college and high school respectively, so we are and have been living this.
Here in Georgia, we have the Hope scholarship, which means if you get a 3.75 in high school, and maintain a 3.3 in college, tuition is free at any state school. Still on the hook for books, room, board, etc. All in, it's probably $12-14k a year with room/board. Fortunately, we've got two excellent state universities here, and plenty of functional ones.
So our deal has been this, and they've known this from the day they were old enough to understand the concept of college:
a. We would not allow them to take out student loans for undergrad. Not happening. This is a firm rule, just like I wouldn't let my kids at 10 eat a bowl of ice cream for every meal. Some things, being an adult, a parent just has to put their foot down for their kids' best interests whether they can see it or not.
b. Toward this no loans goal, we would take the responsibility of covering that $12-14k per year, per kid. So that means they can get the Hope scholarship and maintain it, and if they get in, go to UGA or Georgia Tech debt free. OR, they can get an equivalent scholarship at an out of state school that matches that. For us, that's their skin in the game.
c. We aren't paying for grad school, so they're on their own for that whether by loan or assistantships or whatever.
Them knowing that meant they could orient their college search, from the earliest days, toward that goal, focusing on the in state schools, and out of state schools in which there might be reasonable chance to score enough aid to cover tuition.
My oldest did that, and got a full tuition scholarship to Alabama and went out of state. She's now in grad school, for which she's taking out loans. We are helping with her rent, which was not part of the deal, because she used her credits to graduate from Alabama in three years there, and lived her last two years in a cheap as shit apartment.
My second one got into Georgia Tech, which was her dream school. On backup, she had scholarship offers from Pitt that were close enough to the target that we probably would have done that, especially if she used her credits to also graduate in three.
Son is in high school now, but he knows the deal.
To us, that works out the best. With today's college costs, the idea of going away to a major four year university, and having "skin in the game" is pretty sketchy. Relative to the cost of college, they can't make enough money summers or weekends to even make a dent. And I don't think a 16 or 17 year old kid can wrap their head around what a $100k+ loan bill means, and so I would never let a 16 year old put skin in a game a 23 year old is going to have to play.
With three kids, we'll put close to a couple hundred thousand toward this, and that is more than enough to feel like we've done our part. We're not made of money, I can't stroke $50k checks every year, and I'm not going to work until I'm 75 so my kid can go play hacky sack at some elite liberal arts institution. They'll get to go to a school completely adequate to their ability, and they also won't be starting life with crushing debt that almost no objective analyst believes is a good investment. They'll need to bust their ass to get and maintain the grades required to make the most of the "deal".
The only drawback is they can't "go wherever they want" even if they get in. But as long as that's not a surprise being dumped on them, that's fair.
Here in Georgia, we have the Hope scholarship, which means if you get a 3.75 in high school, and maintain a 3.3 in college, tuition is free at any state school. Still on the hook for books, room, board, etc. All in, it's probably $12-14k a year with room/board. Fortunately, we've got two excellent state universities here, and plenty of functional ones.
So our deal has been this, and they've known this from the day they were old enough to understand the concept of college:
a. We would not allow them to take out student loans for undergrad. Not happening. This is a firm rule, just like I wouldn't let my kids at 10 eat a bowl of ice cream for every meal. Some things, being an adult, a parent just has to put their foot down for their kids' best interests whether they can see it or not.
b. Toward this no loans goal, we would take the responsibility of covering that $12-14k per year, per kid. So that means they can get the Hope scholarship and maintain it, and if they get in, go to UGA or Georgia Tech debt free. OR, they can get an equivalent scholarship at an out of state school that matches that. For us, that's their skin in the game.
c. We aren't paying for grad school, so they're on their own for that whether by loan or assistantships or whatever.
Them knowing that meant they could orient their college search, from the earliest days, toward that goal, focusing on the in state schools, and out of state schools in which there might be reasonable chance to score enough aid to cover tuition.
My oldest did that, and got a full tuition scholarship to Alabama and went out of state. She's now in grad school, for which she's taking out loans. We are helping with her rent, which was not part of the deal, because she used her credits to graduate from Alabama in three years there, and lived her last two years in a cheap as shit apartment.
My second one got into Georgia Tech, which was her dream school. On backup, she had scholarship offers from Pitt that were close enough to the target that we probably would have done that, especially if she used her credits to also graduate in three.
Son is in high school now, but he knows the deal.
To us, that works out the best. With today's college costs, the idea of going away to a major four year university, and having "skin in the game" is pretty sketchy. Relative to the cost of college, they can't make enough money summers or weekends to even make a dent. And I don't think a 16 or 17 year old kid can wrap their head around what a $100k+ loan bill means, and so I would never let a 16 year old put skin in a game a 23 year old is going to have to play.
With three kids, we'll put close to a couple hundred thousand toward this, and that is more than enough to feel like we've done our part. We're not made of money, I can't stroke $50k checks every year, and I'm not going to work until I'm 75 so my kid can go play hacky sack at some elite liberal arts institution. They'll get to go to a school completely adequate to their ability, and they also won't be starting life with crushing debt that almost no objective analyst believes is a good investment. They'll need to bust their ass to get and maintain the grades required to make the most of the "deal".
The only drawback is they can't "go wherever they want" even if they get in. But as long as that's not a surprise being dumped on them, that's fair.
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