Now here is a tough wouldja!!!

[torbee]

No pic on this one --- it's more of a hypothetical.

If you knew about this young lady's, err, propensity prior to engaging in coitus, wouldja still go through with it?



Dear How to Do It,

This is embarrassing. I am a female in my 30s and am getting back into the sex-for-fun (safely) game. I’ve collected a few toys, and recently got one that has a bit of “suction” action going on. It’s the absolute best. It gets me there fast and hard with one serious issue: When I orgasm, I poop a little.

Thank goodness I’ve only ever used it by myself and the embarrassment stays hidden, but now I’ve got a partner that wants to go down on me, and I very much want him to. But I’m absolutely horrified that this might happen while he’s down there. If I ever did it in his face, I’d have to move and change my name. Outside of douching prior to solo-play, I’ve tried everything I can think of to stop this from happening. Even if I use the restroom beforehand, it still happens. How do I make this stop so I can actually enjoy sex without the stress?


—Party Pooper




Dear Party Pooper,

I reached out to Dr. Evan Goldstein, anal surgeon, founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, and friend of the column, for some insight into your options:

First off, this is more common than you’d think, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. That’s because the pelvic floor is all connected between your vagina or penis and the anus. Some people are able to isolate the vagina or penis versus the anus, while other people can’t (like in this writer’s situation). When someone can’t isolate the mechanisms and they experience an orgasm, the intense sensations from that orgasm activate the pelvic floor, which inadvertently relaxes their sphincter muscles, causing them to poop simultaneously. Believe it or not, one of the ways to help prevent this from happening is to start to learn how to separate the vaginal from anal mechanisms. You can do this by practicing with anal dilators and other small anal toys while you’re enjoying your clitoral suction toy (or really any toy vaginally). With enough practice, you should be able to learn how to control each part of the pelvic floor individually, which will eventually allow you to experience those same intense clitoral orgasms, without losing control of your bowels at the same time.

Douching, something you mention as a possibility, does have downsides though.

It really depends how someone is douching—and this rule applies to everyone. If you’re using water (tap, bottled, or even distilled), this can cause irritation and damage to the delicate cells within the rectum. Store-bought enemas can also cause harm to these cells, but includes an additional risk: enema dependency. That means, over time, someone becomes reliant on enemas to go to the bathroom. That’s because enemas’ sole purpose is for extreme cases of constipation and for preparation for a medical procedure (like a colonoscopy). What’s worse is that both of these liquids disrupt the anal microbiome, which is a group of good and bad bacteria that live harmoniously in your rectum. Maintaining the equilibrium of your anal microbiome is essential to a healthy body and comfortable sex. Many factors, including diet, penetration, lubricants, and douching may offset this balance, so choosing the right body-safe products and incorporating appropriate routines are paramount.
If you decide to douche anyway, “for an added sense of “security,” try to find an isotonic and iso-osmolar douching liquid, like the one Future Method developed (a company I co-founded). The new Anal Douche Powder Packs are uniquely formulated for maximum compatibility with your body’s natural chemistry, as well as containing panthenol for hydration and licorice root extra for comfort and calming.

Dr. Goldstein also leaves us with some knowledge about what kind of doctor to see if you feel like you want to see a professional. “I recommend seeing a proctologist for a comprehensive evaluation, both internally and externally, along with a specialized manometry test, which examines the entire musculature and its functionality in play here (no pun intended). From there, an evaluation by a pelvic floor therapist is key so that they can help develop a custom program for you to work and learn control, so that you can isolate everything pertinent for clitoral and anal play, but without the poop.”

 

[goldmom]

💩😳😳😳

Makes farting during the act NOT a big deal..,

 

[QChawks]

 

[Colonoscopy]

Ass cream for stinky ass

How unhygienic do you have to be to have your anus smell and have others smell it? Would you pursue a woman like that and say, honey I can smell your caked on feces? Well now, lazy asses, there's a cream for your horrible anal hygiene...

iowa.forums.rivals.com

 

[goldmom]

Ass cream for stinky ass

How unhygienic do you have to be to have your anus smell and have others smell it? Would you pursue a woman like that and say, honey I can smell your caked on feces? Well now, lazy asses, there's a cream for your horrible anal hygiene...

iowa.forums.rivals.com

A regular bath/shower might solve the problem too.

 

[Colonoscopy]

I was with a chick once that couldn't wink her asshole.

 

[onlyTheObvious]

Nope.

 

[NDallasRuss]

 

[torbee]

I was today-year's old when I learned this was a thing, lol:

 

[fredjr82]

Honestly, when I'm in the middle of the act I have very little care on what happens. It's after the climax is when the real shame sets in.

 

[Huey Grey]

Females are multi-orgasmic. So how much poop are we talking about here?

 

[Colonoscopy]

Females are multi-orgasmic. So how much poop are we talking about here?

wheelbarrow full if it's proportional to the amount of fluid they produce

 

[millah_22]

tl;dr

 

[BelemNole]

She would have to be DiCaprio ex-girlfriend hot to let her poop on me.

 

[Colonoscopy]

She would have to be DiCaprio ex-girlfriend hot to let her poop on me.

Would depend how well formed it is. Like if it's a hard little nugget... not as scary.

 

[torbee]

Would depend how well formed it is. Like if it's a hard little nugget... not as scary.

If it comes out that easily, though, you know its gotta be like soft-serv.

 

[ping72]

 

[lucas80]

Women have orgasms? Who knew.

 

[bagdropper]

I believe we need Soybean's SiL take on this.

 

[TJ8869]

Seems to me that a butt plug would solve this dilemma.

 

[TJ8869]

💩😳😳😳

Makes farting during the act NOT a big deal..,

That depends on where the fart originates.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Females are multi-orgasmic.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Would depend how well formed it is. Like if it's a hard little nugget... not as scary.

 

[Thunderlips71]

What a shitty wouldja

 

[seminole97]

Ass cream for stinky ass

How unhygienic do you have to be to have your anus smell and have others smell it? Would you pursue a woman like that and say, honey I can smell your caked on feces? Well now, lazy asses, there's a cream for your horrible anal hygiene...

iowa.forums.rivals.com

 

[Colonoscopy]

I wonder what percentage of HORTers go on to turn gay after spending time in this thread.

 

[torbee]

Seeing a pic would help.

There is a point where if she’s hot enough, I could overlook the fecal freakiness.

 

[noleclone2]

I stopped reading after the first (offensive) sentence, and judging by the responses, made the right call.

 

[The Tradition]

Hard pass.

 

[SoProudNole]

Hard pass.

No. Soft serve.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Thread has me introverted.

 

[torbee]

Thread has me introverted.

2022 is the year Torbee is finally POTY! 🙂

 

[LuciousBDragon]

Would not. Why does she need to orgasm? She seems needy and probably clingy.

 

[JWolf74]

Probably would avoid cunnilingus as a finishing move.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Probably would avoid cunnilingus as a finishing move.

Oh boy, yes you would/wood

 

[Colonoscopy]

Do they make crotchless diapers?

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Do they make crotchless diapers?

Ask and you shall receive.

 

[Colonoscopy]

Ask and you shall receive.

That should be good for what... 10 or 12 or so orgasms, right?

 

[EvilMonkeyInTheCloset]

No pic on this one --- it's more of a hypothetical.

If you knew about this young lady's, err, propensity prior to engaging in coitus, wouldja still go through with it?



Dear How to Do It,

This is embarrassing. I am a female in my 30s and am getting back into the sex-for-fun (safely) game. I’ve collected a few toys, and recently got one that has a bit of “suction” action going on. It’s the absolute best. It gets me there fast and hard with one serious issue: When I orgasm, I poop a little.

Thank goodness I’ve only ever used it by myself and the embarrassment stays hidden, but now I’ve got a partner that wants to go down on me, and I very much want him to. But I’m absolutely horrified that this might happen while he’s down there. If I ever did it in his face, I’d have to move and change my name. Outside of douching prior to solo-play, I’ve tried everything I can think of to stop this from happening. Even if I use the restroom beforehand, it still happens. How do I make this stop so I can actually enjoy sex without the stress?


—Party Pooper




Dear Party Pooper,

I reached out to Dr. Evan Goldstein, anal surgeon, founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, and friend of the column, for some insight into your options:


Douching, something you mention as a possibility, does have downsides though.




Dr. Goldstein also leaves us with some knowledge about what kind of doctor to see if you feel like you want to see a professional. “I recommend seeing a proctologist for a comprehensive evaluation, both internally and externally, along with a specialized manometry test, which examines the entire musculature and its functionality in play here (no pun intended). From there, an evaluation by a pelvic floor therapist is key so that they can help develop a custom program for you to work and learn control, so that you can isolate everything pertinent for clitoral and anal play, but without the poop.”

Now more than ever pics are vital to the discussion...........

 

[OrlandNole]

Are you serious? My wife (no pics) has had at least TEN orgasms in our 25 years of marriage.