Parents who won't have their kids evaluated and/or treated for ADHD

[General Tso]

CSB ... My wife is a teacher and has several cases where either 1) teachers have nearly begged parents to have their kid(s) evaluated for ADHD or 2) parents who have kids diagnosed but refuse to give their kids proper medication.

In short, both of the above scenarios are unfair to the child with ADHD and equally, if not more, unfair to the kids trying to learn in the same room

Listen to your kids' teachers. If they talk to you about your kid, they're concerned about your kid, other kids around your kid, and their ability to do their jobs.

 

[millah_22]

CSB ... My wife is a teacher and has several cases where either 1) teachers have nearly begged parents to have their kid(s) evaluated for ADHD or 2) parents who have kids diagnosed but refuse to give their kids proper medication.

In short, both of the above scenarios are unfair to the child with ADHD and equally, if not more, unfair to the kids trying to learn in the same room

Listen to your kids' teachers, folks and don't be an ass

How old are the children?

 

[General Tso]

How old are the children?

Middle shool

 

[Obviously Oblivious]

Haven't you heard? Our country's stupidest parents are convinced that they know what's best for their kids, regardless of the issue being considered. We're living in the dumbest version of reality ever.

 

[Tom Paris]

The moment with parents where I knew we were in REALLY big trouble was about 4 years ago when one of our kindergarten teachers said only 4 out of 25 kids had their parents login to look at report cards. We went back to killing trees because only about 20% of our parents cared enough to look and see how their children were doing.

 

[Scruddy]

"These kids need more pills!"

 

[Titanhawk2]

Because our society is too eager to punt and just give meds, for anything. If it's truly the last resort, OK, but it is often the norm to just medicate people

 

[Tom Paris]

Because our society is too eager to punt and just give meds, for anything. If it's truly the last resort, OK, but it is often the norm to just medicate people

Don't freak out - I didn't - but I agree with you.

 

[Whiskeydeltadeltatango]

I dont know the scenario and hope everything works out for the best.


My 2 cents: we need MUCH more time for physical activity in school.

 

[NDallasRuss]

The moment with parents where I knew we were in REALLY big trouble was about 4 years ago when one of our kindergarten teachers said only 4 out of 25 kids had their parents login to look at report cards. We went back to killing trees because only about 20% of our parents cared enough to look and see how their children were doing.

Man, when the daughter was in school I often found out how she did on tests and assignments before she did. I couldn't imagine not caring enough to not bother checking on your kid's grades!

 

[Bulldogs1974]

Because our society is too eager to punt and just give meds, for anything. If it's truly the last resort, OK, but it is often the norm to just medicate people

just to piggy back off this:
in my freshman advisor today, I had the kids get on their phones and look up their daily screen time averages.
As follows: almost all screen time was snap or some version of reels. you wonder why kids struggle/can't focus/depressed. They have a full time job on their phone. Each # represents a student/data point (13 students)
10 hours/day
8 hours/day
3
4
3
6
7
2
0 (no phone, kid is a voracious reader)
9
6
4
6

**Side note: 1/4 of the kids had a notification after 1:00 AM this morning.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Because our society is too eager to punt and just give meds, for anything. If it's truly the last resort, OK, but it is often the norm to just medicate people

I would add that it's a fear/concern that once a kid is labelled as having a problem like ADHD, that a) the kid can't escape that label, and it going to be treated based on that, and b) once the kid has a diagnosis like that, they know they can continue to use it as an excuse or a crutch for not trying, or for any time they fail - rather than taking personal responsibility (and the parents use it as an excuse for failure, also).

 

[Colonoscopy]

I dont know the scenario and hope everything works out for the best.


My 2 cents: we need MUCH more time for physical activity in school.

Yeah, ADHD meds can be really rough. (I mean most of them are basically meth) I'd like to think there are some better options. Taking meth shouldn't be a necessity.

 

[General Tso]

Because our society is too eager to punt and just give meds, for anything. If it's truly the last resort, OK, but it is often the norm to just medicate people

Yes, bigger picture. But I can nearly guarantee that most of these parents aren't trying the other things that might help their kids. I know for a fact that several of these kids just sit on screens when not in school. If you're not going to try the other things, at least do the last resort so other kids aren't pulled down too.

And 100% agree with WDT - more physical activity and less screen time

 

[Aardvark86]

CSB ... My wife is a teacher and has several cases where either 1) teachers have nearly begged parents to have their kid(s) evaluated for ADHD or 2) parents who have kids diagnosed but refuse to give their kids proper medication.

In short, both of the above scenarios are unfair to the child with ADHD and equally, if not more, unfair to the kids trying to learn in the same room

Listen to your kids' teachers. If they talk to you about your kid, they're concerned about your kid, other kids around your kid, and their ability to do their jobs.

mixed feelings about this

otoh, while i realize teachers have increasingly been trained to 'spot' stuff, I don't think it's just 'laziness' that would prompt such a recommendation, and i have zero doubt that they care about their kids, they're probably the last people i'd look to for screening or diagnostic advice. (full disclosure - one of my bigger pet peeves is the fact that schools wear too many non-educational hats these days)

as to treatment, there are a whole host of reasons a parent might elect not to treat, and given that it's their child (emphasis on child), it's their call, plain and simple

But if they do so elect not to test/treat, and if it interferes with the educational process, well, there's always the old fashioned school disciplinary process.

 

[Whiskeydeltadeltatango]

Yeah, ADHD meds can be really rough. (I mean most of them are basically meth) I'd like to think there are some better options. Taking meth shouldn't be a necessity.

I was original Ritalin bro. The shit that dissolved before you could swallow it. Then came Ritalin extended release, then Adderall.

Luckily I chose weed over Adderall for my studies in college and probably as such I've never enjoyed stimulants for the high.

 

[Aardvark86]

The moment with parents where I knew we were in REALLY big trouble was about 4 years ago when one of our kindergarten teachers said only 4 out of 25 kids had their parents login to look at report cards. We went back to killing trees because only about 20% of our parents cared enough to look and see how their children were doing.

kindergarten grades?

(Recently, as part of cleaning out my mom's house, i actually found my kindergarten report card. It wasn't very enlightening.)

 

[tumorboy]

They misdiagnosed our daughter as having ADHD. Turned out to be low level autism. Most of the recommended treatments for ADHD were counterproductive to her actual issues.
Only advice with any diagnosis and medication recommendations tread carefully.

 

[BioHawk]

CSB ... My wife is a teacher and has several cases where either 1) teachers have nearly begged parents to have their kid(s) evaluated for ADHD or 2) parents who have kids diagnosed but refuse to give their kids proper medication.

In short, both of the above scenarios are unfair to the child with ADHD and equally, if not more, unfair to the kids trying to learn in the same room

Listen to your kids' teachers. If they talk to you about your kid, they're concerned about your kid, other kids around your kid, and their ability to do their jobs.

Both of my kids have ADHD and without medication they would probably be looking at barely graduating high school. As it stands they still have their issues but at least they have a chance at a quality education and college will be an option if they want it. ADHD is a real thing and while medication may not be the perfect solution, it at least allows them to function somewhat normally. At some point they will have to learn to manage it by themselves but that is easier to do when you are older and more capable of understanding what is happening to you. Missing out on grades 1-3 basically dooms your child to a lifetime of low performing classes and low expectations.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Kids are living in a f'd up world. Their attention span does not go beyond Tik Tok and other social media. Most parents are equally culpable

 

[goldmom]

Kids are living in a f'd up world. Their attention span does not go beyond Tik Tok and other social media. Most parents are equally culpable

There were kids on meds when I was teaching in the late 90’s. Lined up after lunch to take their Ritalin.
I can only imagine what it must be like now.

 

[Chillyhoff]

Our daughter was having behavioral issues at 15 years old. Made an appointment with a psychologist. After a 30 minute session Ritalin was prescribed. Threw away the prescription and applied a heavy dose of discipline. 20 years later she is very successful in life with 2 wonderful and well adjusted young children.

 

[BioHawk]

Kids are living in a f'd up world. Their attention span does not go beyond Tik Tok and other social media. Most parents are equally culpable

Shit like this certainly is a huge factor. As a teacher, I'm completely ready to just ditch the computers and go back to paper, pencil, and textbooks. Force kids to learn how to focus on something and keep electronics out of the classroom completely. Once they've shown they can do it the old fashioned way, then they can learn how to use computers. There is a ton of evidence showing how brain development is different because of all the screen time. Anecdotally it has created worse outcomes but there hasn't really been a whole lot of hard evidence to say that.

 

[BioHawk]

Our daughter was having behavioral issues at 15 years old. Made an appointment with a psychologist. After a 30 minute session Ritalin was prescribed. Threw away the prescription and applied a heavy dose of discipline. 20 years later she is very successful in life with 2 wonderful and well adjusted young children.

Behavior issues don't necessarily mean ADHD. There are other symptoms too. And I don't think Ritalin is used very much anymore. Although I doubt the newer meds are much different from it.

 

[DutchyFunStar]

Its not just meds, but coping strategies and recognizing that ones brain works differently. I think any of us that were in the talented and gifted programs were actually kids with some kind of ADHD or autism and we were put there to keep from disrupting the classroom for everyone else. Mainly because we picked up the lesson quickly and were bored.

 

[gohawks50]

Because our society is too eager to punt and just give meds, for anything. If it's truly the last resort, OK, but it is often the norm to just medicate people

There are other reasons besides medication to get the ADD or ADHD diagnosis. The label allows your child to qualify for a 504 plan which lists required accommodations your child will be given in order to succeed at school. In my experience medication is usually helpful for both school and home settings, but the decision to treat the condition with medication is entirely up to the parents. My point is that even if a parent is dead set against medicating their child there are still good reasons to have them evaluated.

 

[tarheelbybirth]

otoh, while i realize teachers have increasingly been trained to 'spot' stuff, I don't think it's just 'laziness' that would prompt such a recommendation, and i have zero doubt that they care about their kids, they're probably the last people i'd look to for screening or diagnostic advice. (full disclosure - one of my bigger pet peeves is the fact that schools wear too many non-educational hats these days)

A teacher would document concerning behaviors, have a professional come in to observe the child, and sit in on a meeting with parents to discuss an evaluation.

 

[Dirt Boy 2]

Its not just meds, but coping strategies and recognizing that ones brain works differently. I think any of us that were in the talented and gifted programs were actually kids with some kind of ADHD or autism and we were put there to keep from disrupting the classroom for everyone else. Mainly because we picked up the lesson quickly and were bored.

My kindergartener recently received his report card. Mother gave him the business because of listening skills, staying organized, talking to other kids. He reads at a 2nd grade level, can read and analyze an analog clock, add and subtract 2 digit numbers in his head, and understands the basics of multiplication and division. He is bored. So they will stick him on a iPad to work at his own pace. I hate it is electronics they engage him with. Give him extra practice or worksheets. Give him something besides an iPad. I fine with it as a classroom activity but not to entertain.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

Yeah, ADHD meds can be really rough. (I mean most of them are basically meth) I'd like to think there are some better options. Taking meth shouldn't be a necessity.

I am decidedly NOT an expert in this area, but I have seen some things that cause me serious concern in this area. At different times over the years I have been in a supervisory role with kids and as such, have had responsibility/oversight to ensure that meds are being taken, etc.

I was SHOCKED to see how many kids were taking some sort of medication at such young ages and even more SHOCKED to see the impact on a few of these kids when they consumed all of their prescriptions. Not trying to be funny, but some of kids were drugged almost to oblivion. They would be asleep in minutes after taking the nightly dosages, etc.

So even where there may be legit needs...it seems like too many kids get zonked out with the meds. It just didn't feel right to me at all in some of those cases. But I am not a Dr, etc., so who knows.

 

[Nole Lou]

It is absolutely the parent's right to not drug their kids to make life easier for teachers. Most teachers would be thrilled to have every kid as subdued as possible, and they frankly don't care what it takes to do so given the challenges they face.

But you know what's not the parent's right? To refuse medicine, but ALSO refuse to take any responsibility through other means, whether that be more discipline, behavioral therapy, special schooling, home schooling, whatever. You do not get to just foist your little hellion on schools, teacher and classmates to the detriment of everyone else.

For kids with the worst behavior, I'm all for sending them to special schools, special classes where they do nothing but throw shit around all day, expelling them, whatever. You don't want to go the prescription route, fine, then those are your choices...your kid starts showing up with better behavior immediately, we are quarantining them away from the other kids and let them bounce off the walls all day, or you can pull them out and find a better place for them.

The fact that a handful of kids in any given classroom are retarding the education of everyone else is a massive problem in education, and the best case scenario at this point is probably pulling the worst 5-10% out of the system in some alternate track.

 

[gohawks50]

I am decidedly NOT an expert in this area, but I have seen some things that cause me serious concern in this area. At different times over the years I have been in a supervisory role with kids and as such, have had responsibility/oversight to ensure that meds are being taken, etc.

I was SHOCKED to see how many kids were taking some sort of medication at such young ages and even more SHOCKED to see the impact on a few of these kids when they consumed all of their prescriptions. Not trying to be funny, but some of kids were drugged almost to oblivion. They would be asleep in minutes after taking the nightly dosages, etc.

So even where there may be legit needs...it seems like too many kids get zonked out with the meds. It just didn't feel right to me at all in some of those cases. But I am not a Dr, etc., so who knows.

In my experience many doctors send questionnaires to be filled out by teachers and parents in order to adjust the child's medication. Sounds like the kids you are talking about didn't have that follow up monitoring.

 

[Jerome Silberman]

Because our society is too eager to punt and just give meds, for anything. If it's truly the last resort, OK, but it is often the norm to just medicate people

I don't think that is a societal phenomenon, just a marker of lazy, reactionary parenting.

 

[hawksurprize]

Kids are living in a f'd up world. Their attention span does not go beyond Tik Tok and other social media. Most parents are equally culpable

Most of the 20 somethings who get hired,not all, are on the phones 10 hrs during a 12 hr. Shift. The most agregious don't last long before they are shown the door.

It's to bad because the pay and benefits are such they could walk at 50 and do whatever they want.

 

[luvmyhawks]

The moment with parents where I knew we were in REALLY big trouble was about 4 years ago when one of our kindergarten teachers said only 4 out of 25 kids had their parents login to look at report cards. We went back to killing trees because only about 20% of our parents cared enough to look and see how their children were doing.

Kindergarten though? Meh. If it were middle schoolers I would be way more concerned. Heck, even 2nd, 3rd, etc.. But Kindergarten?? Not so much.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

In my experience many doctors send questionnaires to be filled out by teachers and parents in order to adjust the child's medication. Sounds like the kids you are talking about didn't have that follow up monitoring.

That certainly could be, I had no insight into that aspect of the whole process. It was just tough to watch the kid(s) turn into zombies. It sure seemed like the dosage was out of whack. But again, I am not Dr., so I really CAN'T be sure of anything there.

Reason for edit...left out the word "can't" above.

 

[gohawks50]

That certainly could be, I had no insight into that aspect of the whole process. It was just tough to watch the kid(s) turn into zombies. It sure seemed like the dosage was out of whack. But again, I am not Dr., so I really be sure of anything there.

In my experience it takes awhile to get the dosage right and there were certain doctors that you could almost guarantee would write a prescription not unlike some that prescribe opioid drugs easily.

 

[runkpanole]

I dont know the scenario and hope everything works out for the best.


My 2 cents: we need MUCH more time for physical activity in school.

Yeah, that’s part of it, but not all of it. I was the parent afraid to go the medication route, but I wish I’d done it sooner. Organization, behavior and grades are much improved in both my boys. It’s even helped my oldest on the baseball field. He’s a better teammate and more focused on the game. I will say that having a doctor that listens and takes the time is a huge help. Focalin has some big side effects.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

In my experience it takes awhile to get the dosage right and there were certain doctors that you could almost guarantee would write a prescription not unlike some that prescribe opioid drugs easily.

FWIW, one kid that I remember well apparently didn't experience any adjustment from one year to the next. He was a zombie for at least two years running. (I remember him pretty clearly because he was friends with one of my sons.)