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Post vacation blues

Hoosierhawkeye

Hoosierhawkeye

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Sep 16, 2008
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Just got back from basically a 3 week vacation to Disney for the kids and visit the In-Laws over Christmas. (Thanks to COVID I built up a lot of vacation time and put some of it to use.)

Soon as we got home and started unloading the car of our luggage I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness that hasn't really gone away. Everyday routines that I engaged in without thought before we left feel like drudgery. Things that brought me a bit of happiness or something to look forward to don't really do that for me right now. For example I got to work and got a decent sized bonus check that was issued while I was gone but wasn't direct deposited with my regular pay (IDK why), but the extra money didn't make me happy. I honestly can't think of anything I want to do within reason that would bring me joy.

I keep having intrusive thoughts about how little time I have til my kids are grown up and if I'll be remembered by them as a good father. Which is honestly a strange thing because I sacrificed a bunch to take them there and my parents never even took me as a kid.

I've always been kind of "Meh back to reality" when returning from vacation for maybe a day or so but I can't remember ever feeling this down about it all. I keep wondering illogically that if everything from now on will now be a let down for them, which seems silly because they always found joy in many things and have transitioned back well.

Anyone ever experience something like this?
 
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Yep, had this exact same issue when I got back from Colorado back in October. For some reason it was tougher than usual for me to get back into my routine at work. But there was definitely the overwhelming feeling that reminded me a lot of depression that following week.
 
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McLovin32 said:
Yep, had this exact same issue when I got back from Colorado back in October. For some reason it was tougher than usual for me to get back into my routine at work. But there was definitely the overwhelming feeling that reminded me a lot of depression that following week.
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It would probably help me a bit if we had some sunny weather coming up even if it wasn't super warm. But while it's not really all that cold the weather looks to be cloudy or rainy all week.
 
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Hoosierhawkeye said:
Just got back from basically a 3 week vacation to Disney for the kids and visit the In-Laws over Christmas. (Thanks to COVID I built up a lot of vacation time and put some of it to use.)

Soon as we got home and started unloading the car of our luggage I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness that hasn't really gone away. Everyday routines that I engaged in without thought before we left feel like drudgery. Things that brought me a bit of happiness or something to look forward to don't really do that for me right now. For example I got to work and got a decent sized bonus check that was issued while I was gone but wasn't direct deposited with my regular pay (IDK why), but the extra money didn't make me happy. I honestly can't think of anything I want to do within reason that would bring me joy.

I keep having intrusive thoughts about how little time I have til my kids are grown up and if I'll be remembered by them as a good father. Which is honestly a strange thing because I sacrificed a bunch to take them there and my parents never even took me as a kid.

I've always been kind of "Meh back to reality" when returning from vacation for maybe a day or so but I can't remember ever feeling this down about it all. I keep wondering illogically that if everything from now on will now be a let down for them, which seems silly because they always found joy in many things and have transitioned back well.

Anyone ever experience something like this?
Click to expand...

Have you considered hookers and blow?
 
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Hoosierhawkeye said:
Just got back from basically a 3 week vacation to Disney for the kids and visit the In-Laws over Christmas. (Thanks to COVID I built up a lot of vacation time and put some of it to use.)

Soon as we got home and started unloading the car of our luggage I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness that hasn't really gone away. Everyday routines that I engaged in without thought before we left feel like drudgery. Things that brought me a bit of happiness or something to look forward to don't really do that for me right now. For example I got to work and got a decent sized bonus check that was issued while I was gone but wasn't direct deposited with my regular pay (IDK why), but the extra money didn't make me happy. I honestly can't think of anything I want to do within reason that would bring me joy.

I keep having intrusive thoughts about how little time I have til my kids are grown up and if I'll be remembered by them as a good father. Which is honestly a strange thing because I sacrificed a bunch to take them there and my parents never even took me as a kid.

I've always been kind of "Meh back to reality" when returning from vacation for maybe a day or so but I can't remember ever feeling this down about it all. I keep wondering illogically that if everything from now on will now be a let down for them, which seems silly because they always found joy in many things and have transitioned back well.

Anyone ever experience something like this?
Click to expand...
Not uncommon at all! I call this Blue Monday (or Tuesday in this case), where those feelings show up after a vacation or time away. Helps me to remember these feelings are temporary (easier said than done).

It's a good time to start thinking about the next trip and get it on the books, no matter how far out. I read a study some time ago that found the positive feelings and anticipation of an upcoming planned trip can have as much of a beneficial impact on your mental health (your "happiness quotient") as when you actually go on the trip/vacation/event.

Anyway, these next few weeks are the toughest time of the year on mental health, hang in there it'll get better soon.
 
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WadeLookingbill said:
Not uncommon at all! I call this Blue Monday (or Tuesday in this case), where those feelings show up after a vacation or time away. Helps me to remember these feelings are temporary (easier said than done).

It's a good time to start thinking about the next trip and get it on the books, no matter how far out. I read a study some time ago that found the positive feelings and anticipation of an upcoming planned trip can have as much of a beneficial impact on your mental health (your "happiness quotient") as when you actually go on the trip/vacation/event.

Anyway, these next few weeks are the toughest time of the year on mental health, hang in there it'll get better soon.
Click to expand...
Just read about a dog that sleeps in an old car. He seems pretty happy.
 
Hoosierhawkeye said:
Just got back from basically a 3 week vacation to Disney for the kids and visit the In-Laws over Christmas. (Thanks to COVID I built up a lot of vacation time and put some of it to use.)

Soon as we got home and started unloading the car of our luggage I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness that hasn't really gone away. Everyday routines that I engaged in without thought before we left feel like drudgery. Things that brought me a bit of happiness or something to look forward to don't really do that for me right now. For example I got to work and got a decent sized bonus check that was issued while I was gone but wasn't direct deposited with my regular pay (IDK why), but the extra money didn't make me happy. I honestly can't think of anything I want to do within reason that would bring me joy.

I keep having intrusive thoughts about how little time I have til my kids are grown up and if I'll be remembered by them as a good father. Which is honestly a strange thing because I sacrificed a bunch to take them there and my parents never even took me as a kid.

I've always been kind of "Meh back to reality" when returning from vacation for maybe a day or so but I can't remember ever feeling this down about it all. I keep wondering illogically that if everything from now on will now be a let down for them, which seems silly because they always found joy in many things and have transitioned back well.

Anyone ever experience something like this?
Click to expand...


If it hasn't corrected itself in the next week or two, I really think you should seek some type of counselling. After 3 weeks "vacation" at Disney and your in-laws, you probably should be happy to be home. You may be dealing with some depression.
 
cfbfan23 said:
If it hasn't corrected itself in the next week or two, I really think you should seek some type of counselling. After 3 weeks "vacation" at Disney and your in-laws, you probably should be happy to be home. You may be dealing with some depression.
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Who's to say that wouldn't make him happy?
 
RollingBallofButcherKnives said:
I would start planning my next vacation to have something to look forward to. Or a career change? Nothing worse than feeling stuck in a job you can’t stand. If it is more than that talk to a Dr…..
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I tried planning another vacation and it helped a bit to some extent, although I don't want to go scheduling something while I'm feeling emotional. Just a rule I have that if I can avoid making big decisions while feeling any extreme emotions I do it and make the decision when I'm more emotionally neutral.

I don't think it has anything to do with the specific job per se other then the fact that I have one and have to go to it. Unless there is a job that will pay me for not showing up and never doing anything, I don't think a job change would do anything. I mostly just feel right now like I want my family to live our entire lives on vacation. Which is obviously not plausible as we need things like an income and the children have to go to school.

What's weird was the last few days I couldn't wait to get home but as soon as I got home I started feeling depressed. Like every routine in life was just boring. Not just the daily or even weekly stuff but even the yearly traditions like birthdays, mothers day and fathers day, fireworks and fairs in the summer, apple picking in the fall, getting a pumpkin for halloween, going trick or treating, thanksgiving feast. Stuff I normally enjoy and look forward to just seem at the moment so joyless.

I really doubt I'll constantly feel like this, I'm just in some sort of weird funk right now.
 
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WadeLookingbill said:
Not uncommon at all! I call this Blue Monday (or Tuesday in this case), where those feelings show up after a vacation or time away. Helps me to remember these feelings are temporary (easier said than done).

It's a good time to start thinking about the next trip and get it on the books, no matter how far out. I read a study some time ago that found the positive feelings and anticipation of an upcoming planned trip can have as much of a beneficial impact on your mental health (your "happiness quotient") as when you actually go on the trip/vacation/event.

Anyway, these next few weeks are the toughest time of the year on mental health, hang in there it'll get better soon.
Click to expand...

Part of me thinks that the level I'm experiencing it is because I was gone for so long. Never taken a vacation this long nor this big before.

We have thought about the next vacation but I don't want to book anything until I'm more emotionally neutral.
 
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Hoosierhawkeye said:
Just got back from basically a 3 week vacation to Disney for the kids and visit the In-Laws over Christmas. (Thanks to COVID I built up a lot of vacation time and put some of it to use.)

Soon as we got home and started unloading the car of our luggage I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness that hasn't really gone away. Everyday routines that I engaged in without thought before we left feel like drudgery. Things that brought me a bit of happiness or something to look forward to don't really do that for me right now. For example I got to work and got a decent sized bonus check that was issued while I was gone but wasn't direct deposited with my regular pay (IDK why), but the extra money didn't make me happy. I honestly can't think of anything I want to do within reason that would bring me joy.

I keep having intrusive thoughts about how little time I have til my kids are grown up and if I'll be remembered by them as a good father. Which is honestly a strange thing because I sacrificed a bunch to take them there and my parents never even took me as a kid.

I've always been kind of "Meh back to reality" when returning from vacation for maybe a day or so but I can't remember ever feeling this down about it all. I keep wondering illogically that if everything from now on will now be a let down for them, which seems silly because they always found joy in many things and have transitioned back well.

Anyone ever experience something like this?
Click to expand...
Suck it up buttercup!
 
Yeah, I'm feeling that after being off since the 24th. The feeling has definitely been harder to shake in the last couple years since my father passed away and my girls have gotten older.
 
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It’s not just you. The reality is that modern life is completely foreign to our natural desires. We are not designed to sit in an office for 40+ hours a week, send our kids elsewhere to get educated/watched by hired strangers, come home to chaos and chores, and repeat for 40 years. In the meantime, the kids only have 18 or so years with you, then they leave, the spouses don’t develop deep connections because both are trying to manage separate careers, house chores become a burden because everyone is exhausted from working all day outside of the house, and kids don’t get to truly know you because everyone is doing their own thing. Modern life sucks for the family core.

And we’re unhappy because deep down we know this isn’t how we’re supposed to live. But we have to because we are the ultimate consumers and just want more, more, more. And the more we earn, the more we need, and the harder we work.

In another life, I’m going to be a homesteader.
 
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I may sound weird when I say this but I just look at our lives as a simulation of sorts. I think we're here to learn, love, and grow.

I've studied a ton of Near Death experiences and 90% of them convey that the messages they received is that it all makes more sense when it's our time.

I'm not trying to convince anyone to think like me, in fact I don't believe there's any connection to religion, but having that mindset has helped me a lot lately because as we know this simulation can suck some days.

Always trying to think things happen for a reason in this life "play", good and bad, and it's how we react to it that helps us grow.

If anyone is curious of a great NDE example Google Roger Ebert's last days and an epiphany he had that he glimpsed the other side, he was also an atheist.
 
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Hopefully won’t derail thread but I believe the type of feeling OP is experiencing is going to be so so so much more prevalent in coming years. Depression, in general, is expected to rise. As america slides, collectively we feel like we’re on a losing team, contributing to a losing cause. Going to work with this in the subconscious is pretty shitty. Add to the shittiness — subconscious is also dealing with the feeling that we’re grossly inadequately addressing global warming/climate change. There are some HUGE macro issues that we know aren’t in good shape.

Then there’s the overriding sense that the economy isn’t really working well, not for the masses anyway. Participating in that doesn’t feel great all the time.

I am feeling it, too, OP. And I get to lose myself deep in my work, given so much of it is fully creative.

Going to be an interesting time to be alive, that’s for sure.
 
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You'll be back to normal post weekend depression by next Monday.

Also I'd say never underestimate the power of simply getting out in nature someone - a walk outside during work, after work, etc
 
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Hoosierhawkeye said:
I tried planning another vacation and it helped a bit to some extent, although I don't want to go scheduling something while I'm feeling emotional. Just a rule I have that if I can avoid making big decisions while feeling any extreme emotions I do it and make the decision when I'm more emotionally neutral.

I don't think it has anything to do with the specific job per se other then the fact that I have one and have to go to it. Unless there is a job that will pay me for not showing up and never doing anything, I don't think a job change would do anything. I mostly just feel right now like I want my family to live our entire lives on vacation. Which is obviously not plausible as we need things like an income and the children have to go to school.

What's weird was the last few days I couldn't wait to get home but as soon as I got home I started feeling depressed. Like every routine in life was just boring. Not just the daily or even weekly stuff but even the yearly traditions like birthdays, mothers day and fathers day, fireworks and fairs in the summer, apple picking in the fall, getting a pumpkin for halloween, going trick or treating, thanksgiving feast. Stuff I normally enjoy and look forward to just seem at the moment so joyless.

I really doubt I'll constantly feel like this, I'm just in some sort of weird funk right now.
Click to expand...
Contrary to my above thoughts, it may be a good time to do something spontaneous and unexpected, so you don't feel like you're walking in the same shoes/footprints every day. Groundhogs Day is coming, time to change things up!
 
Wife and I made retiring as early as possible after the kids were all out of the house.

Double house payments and not over buying shiny things like cars.

Life seems pretty damn short after kids are gone.
 
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onlyTheObvious said:
Wife and I made retiring as early as possible after the kids were all out of the house.

Double house payments and not over buying shiny things like cars.

Life seems pretty damn short after kids are gone.
Click to expand...
This is my plan. I drive a 2014 Jeep that’s been paid for for years. I pay extra to my mortgage. Daughter graduates in 7 years and, if I can keep it up, house will be paid off at same time.

Then I quit.
 
nolesincebirth said:
This is my plan. I drive a 2014 Jeep that’s been paid for for years. I pay extra to my mortgage. Daughter graduates in 7 years and, if I can keep it up, house will be paid off at same time.

Then I quit.
Click to expand...
I told my wife we could sell our house and buy a truck and camper and cruise around the country for 2-3 years living the minimalist lifestyle.

She wasn’t game for it.

The ACA really opens up possibilities if you are debt free and don’t need a lot of cash to make yourself happy.
 
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Does being with the in-laws allow you to get some help with your kids that you don't otherwise have? I know that you have said 2 of your kids have special needs and I am sure that can be overwhelming at times. And for me personally, having some sort of help with that for 3 weeks and then going back to taking on the full load would be very difficult. Add in the trip of a lifetime with the kids and feeling like you won't be able to do something similar again, well ever. It seems like a recipe for what you are feeling.
The only real advice I could give would be on the trip front. While Disney may be a great lifelong memory, kids often remember the smaller trips just as fondly. It is about the time spent together and not so much what you do. Also, never say never. You don't know what the future holds. If someone had told me 25 years ago that I would have the experiences that I have had over the past 10 years I would have thought they were crazy. I dreamed about it for sure. But actually believed it would happen? No way.
 
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Hoosierhawkeye said:
Just got back from basically a 3 week vacation to Disney for the kids and visit the In-Laws over Christmas. (Thanks to COVID I built up a lot of vacation time and put some of it to use.)

Soon as we got home and started unloading the car of our luggage I got this overwhelming feeling of sadness that hasn't really gone away. Everyday routines that I engaged in without thought before we left feel like drudgery. Things that brought me a bit of happiness or something to look forward to don't really do that for me right now. For example I got to work and got a decent sized bonus check that was issued while I was gone but wasn't direct deposited with my regular pay (IDK why), but the extra money didn't make me happy. I honestly can't think of anything I want to do within reason that would bring me joy.

I keep having intrusive thoughts about how little time I have til my kids are grown up and if I'll be remembered by them as a good father. Which is honestly a strange thing because I sacrificed a bunch to take them there and my parents never even took me as a kid.

I've always been kind of "Meh back to reality" when returning from vacation for maybe a day or so but I can't remember ever feeling this down about it all. I keep wondering illogically that if everything from now on will now be a let down for them, which seems silly because they always found joy in many things and have transitioned back well.

Anyone ever experience something like this?
Click to expand...
Get together with your family and start planning your next big vacation, also mix in some random days off (3-4 day weekends) throughout the year so you and your family will have some mini vacations to look forward to, instead of just one big vacation.
 
Back to work tomorrow for me after being at a Florida beach since Dec 23. I feel your pain..... literally.

I can't wait for retirement, but I have close to 15 plus years to go yet. Plus I have some serious work to do to make retirement feel like vacation financially.

Longest I've been off work since I started working full time around age 20.

Have about a thousand emails to go thru, with more coming in today that I could be answering but just don't have the gumption to do so.

Don't have any answers for ya, just stating I'm right there with you! I'm hopeful that when I get back at it full force tomorrow I'll turn a corner.
 
General Tso said:
You'll be back to normal post weekend depression by next Monday.

Also I'd say never underestimate the power of simply getting out in nature someone - a walk outside during work, after work, etc
Click to expand...

Nature is definitely the cure for me. If I could spend a week hiking above 4000' every three or four months I think I'd be the happiest guy around.
 
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I was off today, but that feeling is starting. I've had around a dozen work texts today.

The planning the next vacation sounds like a good idea.
 
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