So...I Did Something Funny...

[McLovin32]

Before I left work yesterday I jerked off on some leftover pizza and put it in the break room fridge. I wanted to see if I had a co worker dumb enough to come in on the weekend, and eat my leftover pizza (I didn't put my name on it). I can't wait to go in on Monday and see if it's still there or if someone ate it.

 

[The_Joker13]

Before I left work yesterday I jerked off on some leftover pizza and put it in the break room fridge. I wanted to see if I had a co worker dumb enough to come in on the weekend, and eat my leftover pizza (I didn't put my name on it). I can't wait to go in on Monday and see if it's still there or if someone ate it.

 

[millah_22]

If anyone was wondering I ate someone's leftover Alfredo pizza at work today. It was a bit salty, but tasted fine when warm.

 

[Jim Grizzly]

Interesting. I did the same thing on Op's mom.

 

[McLovin32]

Interesting. I did the same thing on Op's mom.

 

[Hy_dro]

Not funny

 

[McLovin32]

^^^^Has ate food that's been jerked off on before.

 

[butch25uni]

Pretty sure that might be a felony if someone eats it

 

[The_Joker13]

^^^^Has ate food that's been jerked off on before.

#LimpBiscuit

 

[McLovin32]

Pretty sure that might be a felony if someone eats it

Why? It was my food. I can do what I want to it.

 

[The_Joker13]

Pretty sure that might be a felony if someone eats it

If masturbating onto my own food is a felony, better lock me up and throw away the key brah.

 

[McLovin32]

If masturbating onto my own food is a felony, better lock me up and throw away the key brah.

If masturbating on my own food is a felony here, I'm moving to friggin Canada. Because I'm most likely one of America's Most Wanted.

 

[The_Joker13]

If masturbating on my own food is a felony here, I'm moving to friggin Canada. Because I'm most likely one of America's Most Wanted.

If masturbating on food is a felony, consider me OJ Simpson.

 

[The Tradition]

This thread is gross.

 

[The_Joker13]

This thread is gross.

If masturbating on my food is gross, then I'm the grossest s.o.b. on the planet.

 

[The Tradition]

If masturbating on my food is gross, then I'm the grossest s.o.b. on the planet.

Dude, you don't get it... you're supposed to masturbate on OP's mom.

 

[McLovin32]

Dude, you don't get it... you're supposed to masturbate on OP's mom's food.

FIFY. Get with the times bro. "OP's Mom" jokes are old. Now it's about OP's Mom's food.

 

[The_Joker13]

Dude, you don't get it... you're supposed to masturbate on OP's mom.

 

[SoProudNole]

^^^^Has ate food that's been jerked off on before.

"eaten" ya dumb f%^ck.

 

[McLovin32]

"eaten" ya dumb f%ck.

FIFY smarty.

 

[iahawks10]

If masturbating on food is a felony, consider me OJ Simpson.

Because you got off?

 

[hawkbleeder]

This thread is having me re-think jerk chicken.

 

[millah_22]

Because you got off?

 

[DanL53]

Seriously, a study in the late 1990's gave statistical evidence that if you go out to eat (or order in) seven times, you have eaten someone's spit once. If you've gone out to eat (or order in) just five times there are traces of feces in your food.

 

[Herkmeister]

If masturbating on my own food is a felony here, I'm moving to friggin Canada. Because I'm most likely one of America's Most Wanted.

This one time, when we were out of ketchup, Mrs. Herk asked me to...........

 

[Herkmeister]

Seriously, a study in the late 1990's gave statistical evidence that if you go out to eat (or order in) seven times, you have eaten someone's spit once. If you've gone out to eat (or order in) just five times there are traces of feces in your food.

You know this because you scratch your ass and sniff?

 

[ScoutRefugee]

Pretty sure that might be a felony if someone eats it

They just put it in coffee crystals now and label it a "male enhancement" product. Really gets customers pissed at the FDA for failing to do their jobs.

 

[millah_22]

The best part of this to me, is that in the original post, 80 was saying they fired people at his work for catching people stealing food on camera.

Yet, no one in this thread seems to question why McLovin was jerking off at work. Just that he jerked off on food.

 

[McLovin32]

The best part of this to me, is that in the original post, 80 was saying they fired people at his work for catching people stealing food on camera.

Yet, no one in this thread seems to question why McLovin was jerking off at work. Just that he jerked off on food.

I actually found that pretty funny too. I'll jerk off wherever I want bro.

 

[Derekd3408]

This one time, when we were out of ketchup, Mrs. Herk asked me to...........

Run to the store and grab more?

 

[Derekd3408]

Seriously, a study in the late 1990's gave statistical evidence that if you go out to eat (or order in) seven times, you have eaten someone's spit once. If you've gone out to eat (or order in) just five times there are traces of feces in your food.

 

[Herkmeister]

Run to the store and grab more?

Yes. Way to ruin a good story!

 

[McLovin32]

Some unfortunate soul decided to eat it. lulz

 

[Chewback]

If masturbating on my own food is a felony here, I'm moving to friggin Canada. Because I'm most likely one of America's Most Wanted.

Is it better than ketchup?

 

[McLovin32]

Is it better than ketchup?

Oh I don't eat it after I do it. That's just gross.

 

[jamesvanderwulf]

Before I left work yesterday I jerked off on some leftover pizza and put it in the break room fridge. I wanted to see if I had a co worker dumb enough to come in on the weekend, and eat my leftover pizza (I didn't put my name on it). I can't wait to go in on Monday and see if it's still there or if someone ate it.

The fact that 20 people liked this post says all you need to know about the cesspool that is HROT.