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Spin-off from the Justin Tucker thread - Have you ever been to a massage parlor/"spa"

Have you ever been to the strip-mall type of massage parlor/"spa"?

  • No, I have never been to one of those

    Votes: 38 71.7%
  • I went to a legit strip-mall massage place once

    Votes: 1 1.9%
  • I occasionally go to legit strip mall massage places

    Votes: 4 7.5%
  • I go to legit strip mall massage places often

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I went to a seedy "rub-n-tug" massage place once

    Votes: 4 7.5%
  • I occasionally go to seedy "rub-n-tug" massage places

    Votes: 3 5.7%
  • I go to seedy "rub-n-tug" massage places often

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I've never gone to one, but I watch a lot of "massage turns into sex" pron

    Votes: 4 7.5%
  • OP's mom always rubs my muscle/gives me the happy ending/etc.

    Votes: 9 17.0%

  • Total voters
    53

NDallasRuss

HB Legend
Dec 5, 2002
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Reading the Justin Tucker thread I began wondering if going to massage parlors/spas is way more common than I thought. I'm not talking about the high-end resort-type spas where you're taking mud baths and getting seaweed wraps and hot stone massages, but the generic strip-mall massage parlor or "spa" (whether actual massages, or the rub-n-tug spots).

Am I the only one that has never thought to go into one of those places? They continue to exist, so clearly someone is going in there, but is it the men and women of HORT?

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No, I have not, but have a funny story.

One of my buddies was in Vegas about 15 years ago. His back had been bothering him so we were texting about it and I told him to go to a chiro or get a massage or both. He said he planned on doing it since it was really bugging him. I assumed he was going to do it when he got back to Arizona. However, that afternoon he was passing a massage spot and thought what the heck. He went in and they proceeded to do a standard Swedish or deep tissue massage. Started face down for 30 minutes and then on back for final 30 minutes. Just when it was almost over the lady started given him a handy. (I'm laughing as I type this thinking back to him telling me about it) Anyway, he was startled or surprised, but froze up. He didn't say anything... he said he just raised his head and lifted the lavender scented washcloth covering his eyes as he glanced down at what was happening. He said it took what felt like a few minutes to realize what this was, but said it was probably only 10 seconds. But, he said he just laid back and let it happen. hahaha I was like what did she say or do afterwards? He was like she really didn't say much other than go ahead and take your time getting dressed and that she'd be in the reception area waiting for him. He got dressed, paid and walked out like business as usual. We were joking cuz he said for a few minutes his back didn't hurt anymore... but it soon returned when I think the shock of the whole thing passed. To this day we give him crap about it.
 
Yes, but I didn't know what it was at the time.
I had a terrible knot in my shoulder and it was triggering migraines. There was a 'massage' place on the corner and I went in and asked for a shoulder massage. They kept trying to get me to agree to a full body massage and go to the back. I was like 'just dig this thing out of my shoulder please'. The girl did a shitty job and I left.
It was only a year or two later after the place was raided that I understood my mistake.
 
Was Tucker in these places? Most of them are illegal/trafficked so I doubt they’d make a stink about what he’s alleged to have done. Or did he go to Massage Envy and pull out his junk?
 
No, I have not, but have a funny story.

One of my buddies was in Vegas about 15 years ago. His back had been bothering him so we were texting about it and I told him to go to a chiro or get a massage or both. He said he planned on doing it since it was really bugging him. I assumed he was going to do it when he got back to Arizona. However, that afternoon he was passing a massage spot and thought what the heck. He went in and they proceeded to do a standard Swedish or deep tissue massage. Started face down for 30 minutes and then on back for final 30 minutes. Just when it was almost over the lady started given him a handy. (I'm laughing as I type this thinking back to him telling me about it) Anyway, he was startled or surprised, but froze up. He didn't say anything... he said he just raised his head and lifted the lavender scented washcloth covering his eyes as he glanced down at what was happening. He said it took what felt like a few minutes to realize what this was, but said it was probably only 10 seconds. But, he said he just laid back and let it happen. hahaha I was like what did she say or do afterwards? He was like she really didn't say much other than go ahead and take your time getting dressed and that she'd be in the reception area waiting for him. He got dressed, paid and walked out like business as usual. We were joking cuz he said for a few minutes his back didn't hurt anymore... but it soon returned when I think the shock of the whole thing passed. To this day we give him crap about it.
no. Mrs. A has a funny story though..

Once, she and her friend went to some mani-pedi-massage place that employed a lot of asian women, and her friend took her aging (and sometimes a little off) mother. While they were there, these asian tough guys came in and started yelling at the ladies demanding money. The bewildered mother is taking this all in and says to her daughter, loudly, "did we pay?"
 
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Had one in our neighborhood in Oakland, was getting raided all the time. A few of the neighbor guys would go there often.
They had a thing in Oakland that if you got busted in a massage parlor or with a hooker they would post your picture on billboards around the bay area. That was enough for me to stay away.
 
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No, I have not, but have a funny story.

One of my buddies was in Vegas about 15 years ago. His back had been bothering him so we were texting about it and I told him to go to a chiro or get a massage or both. He said he planned on doing it since it was really bugging him. I assumed he was going to do it when he got back to Arizona. However, that afternoon he was passing a massage spot and thought what the heck. He went in and they proceeded to do a standard Swedish or deep tissue massage. Started face down for 30 minutes and then on back for final 30 minutes. Just when it was almost over the lady started given him a handy. (I'm laughing as I type this thinking back to him telling me about it) Anyway, he was startled or surprised, but froze up. He didn't say anything... he said he just raised his head and lifted the lavender scented washcloth covering his eyes as he glanced down at what was happening. He said it took what felt like a few minutes to realize what this was, but said it was probably only 10 seconds. But, he said he just laid back and let it happen. hahaha I was like what did she say or do afterwards? He was like she really didn't say much other than go ahead and take your time getting dressed and that she'd be in the reception area waiting for him. He got dressed, paid and walked out like business as usual. We were joking cuz he said for a few minutes his back didn't hurt anymore... but it soon returned when I think the shock of the whole thing passed. To this day we give him crap about it.
But was she good looking?
 
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I went in the lobby ... This one in Dallas. I just wanted to see what it's all about... The women were really good looking. But it is Dallas...that place is kind of known for that. I ran out of there scared ha ha. This place was basically a strip club posing as a massage place posing as happy ending. The other story I got : I have a friend who owns a legit place. I asked her one time about Happy endings, then she got really mad , I was thinking maybe she did protest too much... Fake mad.
 
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I never set foot in the place but Happy Hour Health Spa was a well known rub and tug establishment in CR. It might've been just a tug establishment for all I know. I know it looks legit. I'm not sure but parking in the rear might be a double entendre.

I'm not sure why Sparty is visiting

sparty7.bmp
 
I never set foot in the place but Happy Hour Health Spa was a well known rub and tug establishment in CR. It might've been just a tug establishment for all I know. I know it looks legit. I'm not sure but parking in the rear might be a double entendre.

I'm not sure why Sparty is visiting

sparty7.bmp
Looks like a good place for Rudy Giuliani’s next press conference
 
I had a couple friends that frequented Touch of Mink in Iowa City in the late 90s/early 2000s. One buddy said he went in specifically to get a handy, but when the time came, the fat ugly lady that was jerking him freaked him out and he couldn't keep hard. My other buddy was 350+ and had no shame in the deal, was the only action he could get.

 
I had a couple friends what frequented Touch of Mink in Iowa City. One buddy said he went in specifically to get a handy, but when time came, the fat ugly lady was jerking him and he couldn't keep hard. By other buddy was 350+ and had no shame in the deal.

i like that the 350 pound dude had too high of standards and couldn't keep it hard with another fatty.
 
I drive by one in town several times per week. I've never been and I've never seen anybody entering or leaving. I assume it only exists as a front for money laundering.
Do they have two entrances? The one I go to has two, no one ever parks in the front, only in the back. Always looks empty.
 
I had a couple friends that frequented Touch of Mink in Iowa City in the late 90s/early 2000s. One buddy said he went in specifically to get a handy, but when the time came, the fat ugly lady that was jerking him freaked him out and he couldn't keep hard. My other buddy was 350+ and had no shame in the deal, was the only action he could get.

Heard about that place. Never went.

Years later did go to an establishment in DSM. Probably got the idea from idiots on a message board, in fact.

It worked. Show them a few extra 20s and then they ask.
 
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Never been. Massage doesn't seem like something one would need special training for and also feels more appropriate for a spouse.
 
When my brother and I went to LA for the Natty, we decided to go get real massages. Went to a legit place, and the dude was a hairy Turkish? guy with forearms like fire hydrants. Dude could crush full beer cans with his hands he was so strong. All I could do to not cry. Felt like a stretched out rubber band after and had to take a nap and drink a gallon of water from dehydration.

I've done massages since, but rarely at the seedy strip mall places. Usually associated with training cycles. It really helps.

Went to a couples once, it wasn't bad but meh. Im always amazed how strong women who are masseuses are. When they start digging in, last thing I think of is a handy.

I'd love to try a hammam / Turkish bath.

Never a rubntug.
 
One time.

I went once in 2010 to an Asian massage place across the street from my old job. It was a very high end area and the massage place looked decent.

I went after work and got the massage. I think I was wearing only a towel. The lady (who was probably 65 years old) starter rubbing down my rear end under the towel.

After about 20 minutes, she asked me: "Do you want me to do your front?"

I said "Uhhhh, no thanks. Just my back."

I think the place is still there.
 
One time.

I went once in 2010 to an Asian massage place across the street from my old job. It was a very high end area and the massage place looked decent.

I went after work and got the massage. I think I was wearing only a towel. The lady (who was probably 65 years old) starter rubbing down my rear end under the towel.

After about 20 minutes, she asked me: "Do you want me to do your front?"

I said "Uhhhh, no thanks. Just my back."

I think the place is still there.
Do you think she was talking about your penis?
 
My only spa experience was at the last Iowa rose bowl.
The wife and I walked from marina del Rey to Santa Monica. Walking back we decided to cut some distance off and cut through the “homeless”/rougher area of Venice beach.
My wife was clueless as to what a “massage parlor” was. (This story’s not going where you think you degenerates).
Anyway we’re walking by a massage parlor that was being raided by the cops. We sat there and watched them pull out Asian lady after Asian lady and a few John’s. It was rather comical because there were a lot of ugly women and a few that I’m sure were trannies.
 
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My only spa experience was at the last Iowa rose bowl.
The wife and I walked from marina del Rey to Santa Monica. Walking back we decided to cut some distance off and cut through the “homeless”/rougher area of Venice beach.
My wife was clueless as to what a “massage parlor” was. (This story’s not going where you think you degenerates).
Anyway we’re walking by a massage parlor that was being raided by the cops. We sat there and watched them pull out Asian lady after Asian lady and a few John’s. It was rather comical because there were a lot of ugly women and a few that I’m sure were trannies.
How many were iowegians?
 
One time.

I went once in 2010 to an Asian massage place across the street from my old job. It was a very high end area and the massage place looked decent.

I went after work and got the massage. I think I was wearing only a towel. The lady (who was probably 65 years old) starter rubbing down my rear end under the towel.

After about 20 minutes, she asked me: "Do you want me to do your front?"

I said "Uhhhh, no thanks. Just my back."

I think the place is still there.
You are very lucky she did not interpret that as you wanted a finger in your arse hole.
 
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