Another good Dorman column:
The Week — an irregular feature, back
by no demand whatsoever.
CAUCUS COW HAS MUCH AT STEAK — Comes now the Reince of Priebus to slay the sacred cows. Or at least tip them for giggles. Or maybe milk them for media attention.
Priebus, emperor of the Grand Oligarchy with Pitchforks, or GOP, told the National Journal that top knights of the order may consider big changes to the Republican presidential nominating process following the 2016 election. They may even consider, brace yourselves, relieving Iowa and New Hampshire of their coveted status at the front of the sled team, where the view is magnificent.
Sure, Priebus previously moved heaven and earth to protect Iowa’s and New Hampshire’s status, threatening other, rear-facing sled dogs with some serious newspapering to the nose for even considering moving up the pack. Sure, he’s personally, repeatedly patted the lead dogs on the head and lavished them with top quality kibble. And sure, he won’t even be emperor when decisions on the 2020 calendar are being forged in the fires of wisdom, fuel provided by Koch Industries.
But his utterances are big news, as far as you know. The money quote:
“I don’t think there should ever be any sacred cows as to the primary process or the order,” he said.
Scapegoats, dog whistles, stalking horses and paper tigers, but no sacred cows. Got it.
Should Iowa Republicans be particularly worried? Not at this point. After all, if the spinning butt-fall that was the 2012 Iowa GOP caucuses didn’t dent Iowa’s long, proud reign, why worry now? All the party has to do is simply avoid another scenario where it has one winner on caucus night, another 10 days later (or was it really “unresolved?”) and a few sketchy precincts never get certified.
Easy peasy. Just walk and chew gum. Aces.
The worrying comes later, if a Republican nominee Iowa played a prominent role in anointing gets electorally clobbered in 2016. That would be a 2-3 record in the 21st Century (or 1-4 if you’re some sort of popular vote fetishist) and three-straight losses. The post-2012 “autopsy” will look like a case of the sniffles compared to the four-alarm hair fire that will follow such a defeat.
It’s within that likely Defcon-1 blame festival, that riotous rush to yank everything out by its roots and cast out any and all demons, that Iowa and New Hampshire could see a lifetime of prominence flash before their eyes.
But would any other system be better?
You get the impression from party pooh-bahs that they imagine there’s a mystical state where the Republican Party is not heavy with rightward marching evangelical voters and agitated folks who appreciate candidates who vow to deport Mexicans and make Islam illegal, with inspirational flair. National polls suggest otherwise. Iowa is not some anomaly, contrary to what you’ve heard 500,000 times.
Maybe there’s an uncharted Pacific island where a band of stranded Bob Dole moderates, cut off from civilization, are still fighting the 1996 campaign. Perhaps the first primary could be held there.
Priebus talks of a regional primary rotation and lottery, where states would draw lots for their place in five, 10-state regional primary contests. Interesting enough. That system certainly screams “well-financed, well-known, establishment candidate,” the sort who could campaign nationally and blow big bucks on ads, ground games, etc. That way, you get a Jeb! Or maybe you get Trumped, again.
But, really, this is about 2016, not 2020. The timing of Priebus’ cow-trolling is telling. Just as things are starting to get real, the chairman is basically telling corn-pickers and sap-tappers to lend a hand in picking a non-crazy nominee, or risk letting someone else do the picking next go around. Be sensible, or be replaced. You’ve had a silly summer. It’s time for Sobertoberfest.
So the lead dogs had better straighten up and look ahead, or they’ll be gazing upon something else in 2020. The view could be far less magnificent.
BEN CARSON HAS IDEAS — Highly skilled former neurosurgeon and perplexing potential president Ben Carson has ideas. And he’s sharing them right here in Iowa.
This is one he shared with the Des Moines Rotary Club, meeting at the Wakonda Club:
Asked about the U.S. Department of Education, Carson described it as a federal agency that is bloated with inefficiency and with employees who are overpaid “and don’t do anything.” The department should be shrunk in size, he added.
However, Carson suggested one proper role for the U.S. Department of Education is to monitor institutions of learning for “extreme political bias.” If such bias exists, he said he would deprive such institutions of federal funding.
He also taped an episode of Iowa Public Television’s “Iowa Press,” where he shared his thoughts on income taxes:
Carson says his approach will be based on the Biblical principle of tithing.
“I like to use 10 percent because it’s easy to work with, so if you make $10 billion, you pay $1 billion; you make $10, you pay $1 and you get the same rights and privileges. You get rid of all the deductions and all of the loopholes because that creates inequality,” Carson says. “If that’s the system that’s good enough for God, it’s good enough for me because proportionality is the only thing that’s fair. When you get out of proportionality, you enter your own biases into the situation.”
I bet the captains of finance and industry gathered at Wakonda just beamed at the notion of a 10 percent income tax. Single malts and cigars for the house! And, say, you there, make sure to get the waxy build up off my best golf shoes, then buff them with a fine chamois.
Chop. Chop.
Carson, it seems, is waging a brave war on bias. And bias, in this case, is defined as any ideas, concepts and arguments today’s brand of thinking conservative no longer wants to hear, see or smell. One of those insidious America-destroying ideas is an income tax system where people who make money by the metric ton pay a higher percentage in taxes than people who make ounces. Who came up with that? Trotsky, I bet.
But under Carson’s idea, everyone is blessedly equal. If I have $10, and the feds take $1, that’s exactly the same as someone with $10 billion paying $1 billion. I can buy one less can of tomato soup. They can buy one less NFL stadium. We, the equally privileged, can each take comfort in the system’s lack of bias. And I can rest easy knowing I’m no longer a lazy freeloader in the eyes of the Wakonda set.
My skin, at long last, is in the game! Everybody wins.
But best of all, we’d both know that our tax dollars are going to support the U.S. Office of Educational Bias, which will send its agents into classrooms across the country to monitor speech content for extreme political bias. What could be more American than that? I can only hope there will be show trials I can watch while I eat my limited supply of tomato soup.
Or maybe I’m just biased. Keep those ideas coming, doc.
http://www.thegazette.com/subject/o...red-cows-and-doc-carsons-war-on-bias-20151003
The Week — an irregular feature, back
by no demand whatsoever.
CAUCUS COW HAS MUCH AT STEAK — Comes now the Reince of Priebus to slay the sacred cows. Or at least tip them for giggles. Or maybe milk them for media attention.
Priebus, emperor of the Grand Oligarchy with Pitchforks, or GOP, told the National Journal that top knights of the order may consider big changes to the Republican presidential nominating process following the 2016 election. They may even consider, brace yourselves, relieving Iowa and New Hampshire of their coveted status at the front of the sled team, where the view is magnificent.
Sure, Priebus previously moved heaven and earth to protect Iowa’s and New Hampshire’s status, threatening other, rear-facing sled dogs with some serious newspapering to the nose for even considering moving up the pack. Sure, he’s personally, repeatedly patted the lead dogs on the head and lavished them with top quality kibble. And sure, he won’t even be emperor when decisions on the 2020 calendar are being forged in the fires of wisdom, fuel provided by Koch Industries.
But his utterances are big news, as far as you know. The money quote:
“I don’t think there should ever be any sacred cows as to the primary process or the order,” he said.
Scapegoats, dog whistles, stalking horses and paper tigers, but no sacred cows. Got it.
Should Iowa Republicans be particularly worried? Not at this point. After all, if the spinning butt-fall that was the 2012 Iowa GOP caucuses didn’t dent Iowa’s long, proud reign, why worry now? All the party has to do is simply avoid another scenario where it has one winner on caucus night, another 10 days later (or was it really “unresolved?”) and a few sketchy precincts never get certified.
Easy peasy. Just walk and chew gum. Aces.
The worrying comes later, if a Republican nominee Iowa played a prominent role in anointing gets electorally clobbered in 2016. That would be a 2-3 record in the 21st Century (or 1-4 if you’re some sort of popular vote fetishist) and three-straight losses. The post-2012 “autopsy” will look like a case of the sniffles compared to the four-alarm hair fire that will follow such a defeat.
It’s within that likely Defcon-1 blame festival, that riotous rush to yank everything out by its roots and cast out any and all demons, that Iowa and New Hampshire could see a lifetime of prominence flash before their eyes.
But would any other system be better?
You get the impression from party pooh-bahs that they imagine there’s a mystical state where the Republican Party is not heavy with rightward marching evangelical voters and agitated folks who appreciate candidates who vow to deport Mexicans and make Islam illegal, with inspirational flair. National polls suggest otherwise. Iowa is not some anomaly, contrary to what you’ve heard 500,000 times.
Maybe there’s an uncharted Pacific island where a band of stranded Bob Dole moderates, cut off from civilization, are still fighting the 1996 campaign. Perhaps the first primary could be held there.
Priebus talks of a regional primary rotation and lottery, where states would draw lots for their place in five, 10-state regional primary contests. Interesting enough. That system certainly screams “well-financed, well-known, establishment candidate,” the sort who could campaign nationally and blow big bucks on ads, ground games, etc. That way, you get a Jeb! Or maybe you get Trumped, again.
But, really, this is about 2016, not 2020. The timing of Priebus’ cow-trolling is telling. Just as things are starting to get real, the chairman is basically telling corn-pickers and sap-tappers to lend a hand in picking a non-crazy nominee, or risk letting someone else do the picking next go around. Be sensible, or be replaced. You’ve had a silly summer. It’s time for Sobertoberfest.
So the lead dogs had better straighten up and look ahead, or they’ll be gazing upon something else in 2020. The view could be far less magnificent.
BEN CARSON HAS IDEAS — Highly skilled former neurosurgeon and perplexing potential president Ben Carson has ideas. And he’s sharing them right here in Iowa.
This is one he shared with the Des Moines Rotary Club, meeting at the Wakonda Club:
Asked about the U.S. Department of Education, Carson described it as a federal agency that is bloated with inefficiency and with employees who are overpaid “and don’t do anything.” The department should be shrunk in size, he added.
However, Carson suggested one proper role for the U.S. Department of Education is to monitor institutions of learning for “extreme political bias.” If such bias exists, he said he would deprive such institutions of federal funding.
He also taped an episode of Iowa Public Television’s “Iowa Press,” where he shared his thoughts on income taxes:
Carson says his approach will be based on the Biblical principle of tithing.
“I like to use 10 percent because it’s easy to work with, so if you make $10 billion, you pay $1 billion; you make $10, you pay $1 and you get the same rights and privileges. You get rid of all the deductions and all of the loopholes because that creates inequality,” Carson says. “If that’s the system that’s good enough for God, it’s good enough for me because proportionality is the only thing that’s fair. When you get out of proportionality, you enter your own biases into the situation.”
I bet the captains of finance and industry gathered at Wakonda just beamed at the notion of a 10 percent income tax. Single malts and cigars for the house! And, say, you there, make sure to get the waxy build up off my best golf shoes, then buff them with a fine chamois.
Chop. Chop.
Carson, it seems, is waging a brave war on bias. And bias, in this case, is defined as any ideas, concepts and arguments today’s brand of thinking conservative no longer wants to hear, see or smell. One of those insidious America-destroying ideas is an income tax system where people who make money by the metric ton pay a higher percentage in taxes than people who make ounces. Who came up with that? Trotsky, I bet.
But under Carson’s idea, everyone is blessedly equal. If I have $10, and the feds take $1, that’s exactly the same as someone with $10 billion paying $1 billion. I can buy one less can of tomato soup. They can buy one less NFL stadium. We, the equally privileged, can each take comfort in the system’s lack of bias. And I can rest easy knowing I’m no longer a lazy freeloader in the eyes of the Wakonda set.
My skin, at long last, is in the game! Everybody wins.
But best of all, we’d both know that our tax dollars are going to support the U.S. Office of Educational Bias, which will send its agents into classrooms across the country to monitor speech content for extreme political bias. What could be more American than that? I can only hope there will be show trials I can watch while I eat my limited supply of tomato soup.
Or maybe I’m just biased. Keep those ideas coming, doc.
http://www.thegazette.com/subject/o...red-cows-and-doc-carsons-war-on-bias-20151003
