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Turkey Stuffing

THE_DEVIL

HB King
Gold Member
Aug 16, 2005
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Hell, Michigan
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WOMAN STABS BOYFRIEND 5 TIMES AFTER SHE FINDS HIM HAVING RELATIONS WITH A TURKEY CARCASS
Hell has no fury for a woman scorned, especially by a dead turkey. This was the unfortunate case for the girlfriend of weirdo Ryan Mills. Thanksgiving day was the scene of a major domestic violence case in Superior, Wisconsin. Mills was stabbed five times and was lying on the ground. Next to him was an uncooked Turkey carcass. The “other woman.”

19-year-old Tiffany Rodriguez had found her 21-year-old boyfriend having intercourse with the turkey corpse. The turkey was to be cooked for dinner, but Mills had other ideas as he was found in the bathroom by his girlfriend as he pounded away inside their would-be dinner.

Tiffany then grabbed the turkey and ran off with it. Mills was in tow, apologizing profusely. But that wasn’t good enough for Tiffany, as she ended up stabbing her boyfriend five times. She has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

Mills was brought up on charges of “sexual gratification with an animal,” but his public defender sees a glaring loophole in regards to that charge.

Public defender Fred Resnick states that a carcass in not an animal: “the statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass. You are going to have several cases in front of you this next year, we are in Wisconsin – that’s what people do here.”

Turns out Mills has a history with this type of behavior. He was previously convicted for shooting a dead pig named Mitzie so he could have sex with it back in 2005.
 
He shot a dead pig named Mitzie so he could have sex with it? Was the pig dead when he shot it, or did his shot give it the dead?
 
"...Mills had other ideas as he was found in the bathroom by his girlfriend as he pounded away inside their would-be dinner." Well that's just unnecessarily graphic.

"...we are in Wisconsin – that’s what people do here.” Guess I'll take Visit Wisconsin for Thanksgiving off the old bucket list.

"He was previously convicted for shooting a dead pig named Mitzie so he could have sex with it back in 2005." I actually have a few questions about this statement.
 
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She should have stabbed the turkey 5 times.

Got to wonder what the guy was thinking. Sitting around trying to figure out something to do and goes with taking the turkey into the bathroom.
 
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, I'm gonna be alone Xmas day. (Are there really small turkeys?)
 
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