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USA, midgets, and whiskey

TakedownWins said:
Things you love! Have a good one and be safe!
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Ahem...Little People. We even give them gold helmets. (Note: No little people were actually hurt in the filming of this)

5be0485b0bccfdb6223dd203b22a982f7e6f0cf05d8af63de77ae0237e2bccc3.gif
 
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My wrestling claim to fame was wrestling a dwarf in 7th grade. I was in the lightest weight class (75 lb) and had about as many forfeit wins as real wins that year.

Anyway, we are the away team and come out onto the mat to stretch and stuff, then go to our chairs. Then the home team comes out and who's leading the line - a dwarf looking like he's 35 with big arms because he's compressed. I'm immediately in shock. Anyway, we go back to the locker room for last minute instructions and pep talks and I just start crying - "he looks like an old man, he's going to kill me..". The asst slams me into a locker and tells me to focus, etc. Some of the other guys are laughing and I lash out that's it's easy for them to laugh - they're not wrestling a tough looking Oompa Loompa.

So it's at this time that people ask - how did you do?

I whipped his butt! He had no leverage and wasn't really mobile so I majored him. Tried to cradle him but his short legs kept slipping out.

My mom, to her everlasting shame, got only 1 picture of this (pre digital age), and you can't tell I'm wrestling a little person. She will take that failure to her grave.

This is a true story and I apologize for its un-PC nature. It's way more hilarious when I can expand on the story verbally - tired of typing
 
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Chickenman Testa said:
My wrestling claim to fame was wrestling a dwarf in 7th grade. I was in the lightest weight class (75 lb) and had about as many forfeit wins as real wins that year.

Anyway, we are the away team and come out onto the mat to stretch and stuff, then go to our chairs. Then the home team comes out and who's leading the line - a dwarf looking like he's 35 with big arms because he's compressed. I'm immediately in shock. Anyway, we go back to the locker room for last minute instructions and pep talks and I just start crying - "he looks like an old man, he's going to kill me..". The asst slams me into a locker and tells me to focus, etc. Some of the other guys are laughing and I lash out that's it's easy for them to laugh - they're not wrestling a tough looking Oompa Loompa.

So it's at this time that people ask - how did you do?

I whipped his butt! He had no leverage and wasn't really mobile so I majored him. Tried to cradle him but his short legs kept slipping out.

My mom, to her everlasting shame, got only 1 picture of this (pre digital age), and you can't tell I'm wrestling a little person. She will take that failure to her grave.

This is a true story and I apologize for its un-PC nature. It's way more hilarious when I can expand on the story verbally - tired of typing
Click to expand...
Hilarious! My wife is literally afraid of midgets (and birds for that matter). Whenever I get the chance, I stop the TV on "Little People, Big World" and she starts screaming at me until I change it.
 
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Chickenman Testa said:
My wrestling claim to fame was wrestling a dwarf in 7th grade. I was in the lightest weight class (75 lb) and had about as many forfeit wins as real wins that year.

Anyway, we are the away team and come out onto the mat to stretch and stuff, then go to our chairs. Then the home team comes out and who's leading the line - a dwarf looking like he's 35 with big arms because he's compressed. I'm immediately in shock. Anyway, we go back to the locker room for last minute instructions and pep talks and I just start crying - "he looks like an old man, he's going to kill me..". The asst slams me into a locker and tells me to focus, etc. Some of the other guys are laughing and I lash out that's it's easy for them to laugh - they're not wrestling a tough looking Oompa Loompa.

So it's at this time that people ask - how did you do?

I whipped his butt! He had no leverage and wasn't really mobile so I majored him. Tried to cradle him but his short legs kept slipping out.

My mom, to her everlasting shame, got only 1 picture of this (pre digital age), and you can't tell I'm wrestling a little person. She will take that failure to her grave.

This is a true story and I apologize for its un-PC nature. It's way more hilarious when I can expand on the story verbally - tired of typing
Click to expand...

Ohhh man....hilarious....tears in my eyes
 
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Chickenman Testa said:
My wrestling claim to fame was wrestling a dwarf in 7th grade. I was in the lightest weight class (75 lb) and had about as many forfeit wins as real wins that year.

Anyway, we are the away team and come out onto the mat to stretch and stuff, then go to our chairs. Then the home team comes out and who's leading the line - a dwarf looking like he's 35 with big arms because he's compressed. I'm immediately in shock. Anyway, we go back to the locker room for last minute instructions and pep talks and I just start crying - "he looks like an old man, he's going to kill me..". The asst slams me into a locker and tells me to focus, etc. Some of the other guys are laughing and I lash out that's it's easy for them to laugh - they're not wrestling a tough looking Oompa Loompa.

So it's at this time that people ask - how did you do?

I whipped his butt! He had no leverage and wasn't really mobile so I majored him. Tried to cradle him but his short legs kept slipping out.

My mom, to her everlasting shame, got only 1 picture of this (pre digital age), and you can't tell I'm wrestling a little person. She will take that failure to her grave.

This is a true story and I apologize for its un-PC nature. It's way more hilarious when I can expand on the story verbally - tired of typing
Click to expand...

Dwarf killer...bet you walked with some swag that day ;) Seriously, I would donate to the NLWC if you had video of that
 
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Chickenman Testa said:
My wrestling claim to fame was wrestling a dwarf in 7th grade. I was in the lightest weight class (75 lb) and had about as many forfeit wins as real wins that year.

Anyway, we are the away team and come out onto the mat to stretch and stuff, then go to our chairs. Then the home team comes out and who's leading the line - a dwarf looking like he's 35 with big arms because he's compressed. I'm immediately in shock. Anyway, we go back to the locker room for last minute instructions and pep talks and I just start crying - "he looks like an old man, he's going to kill me..". The asst slams me into a locker and tells me to focus, etc. Some of the other guys are laughing and I lash out that's it's easy for them to laugh - they're not wrestling a tough looking Oompa Loompa.

So it's at this time that people ask - how did you do?

I whipped his butt! He had no leverage and wasn't really mobile so I majored him. Tried to cradle him but his short legs kept slipping out.

My mom, to her everlasting shame, got only 1 picture of this (pre digital age), and you can't tell I'm wrestling a little person. She will take that failure to her grave.

This is a true story and I apologize for its un-PC nature. It's way more hilarious when I can expand on the story verbally - tired of typing
Click to expand...
Next time you're home visiting, I owe you as many beers as it takes to tell the full story.

Not just about wrestling the dwarf, but also about having Beavis and Butthead's gym teacher Coach Buzzcut as your coach.
 
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El-Jefe said:
Chickenman Testa said:
My wrestling claim to fame was wrestling a dwarf in 7th grade. I was in the lightest weight class (75 lb) and had about as many forfeit wins as real wins that year.

Anyway, we are the away team and come out onto the mat to stretch and stuff, then go to our chairs. Then the home team comes out and who's leading the line - a dwarf looking like he's 35 with big arms because he's compressed. I'm immediately in shock. Anyway, we go back to the locker room for last minute instructions and pep talks and I just start crying - "he looks like an old man, he's going to kill me..". The asst slams me into a locker and tells me to focus, etc. Some of the other guys are laughing and I lash out that's it's easy for them to laugh - they're not wrestling a tough looking Oompa Loompa.

So it's at this time that people ask - how did you do?

I whipped his butt! He had no leverage and wasn't really mobile so I majored him. Tried to cradle him but his short legs kept slipping out.

My mom, to her everlasting shame, got only 1 picture of this (pre digital age), and you can't tell I'm wrestling a little person. She will take that failure to her grave.

This is a true story and I apologize for its un-PC nature. It's way more hilarious when I can expand on the story verbally - tired of typing
Click to expand...
Next time you're home visiting, I owe you as many beers as it takes to tell the full story.

Not just about wrestling the dwarf, but also about having Beavis and Butthead's gym teacher Coach Buzzcut as your coach.
Click to expand...
I'll buy a round
 
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Chickenman Testa said:
My wrestling claim to fame was wrestling a dwarf in 7th grade. I was in the lightest weight class (75 lb) and had about as many forfeit wins as real wins that year.

Anyway, we are the away team and come out onto the mat to stretch and stuff, then go to our chairs. Then the home team comes out and who's leading the line - a dwarf looking like he's 35 with big arms because he's compressed. I'm immediately in shock. Anyway, we go back to the locker room for last minute instructions and pep talks and I just start crying - "he looks like an old man, he's going to kill me..". The asst slams me into a locker and tells me to focus, etc. Some of the other guys are laughing and I lash out that's it's easy for them to laugh - they're not wrestling a tough looking Oompa Loompa.

So it's at this time that people ask - how did you do?

I whipped his butt! He had no leverage and wasn't really mobile so I majored him. Tried to cradle him but his short legs kept slipping out.

My mom, to her everlasting shame, got only 1 picture of this (pre digital age), and you can't tell I'm wrestling a little person. She will take that failure to her grave.

This is a true story and I apologize for its un-PC nature. It's way more hilarious when I can expand on the story verbally - tired of typing
Click to expand...

Did he start as Happy and end as Grumpy?

Was Snow White there to watch?
 
andegre said:
Hilarious! My wife is literally afraid of midgets (and birds for that matter). Whenever I get the chance, I stop the TV on "Little People, Big World" and she starts screaming at me until I change it.
Click to expand...
My buddy is too. He has to "get away from them."
Going with him and a few others to Vegas Halloween weekend for some concerts and plan on renting six midget, and have them dress up as each band member. He will freakout! Go gambling with them and hit a strip club. Hopefully we can pull it off.
Anybody ever rented a midget before?
http://www.shortdwarf.com/rent-a-midget-dwarf-talent-actors-entertainment-in-las-vegas/
 
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Chickenman Testa said:
My wrestling claim to fame was wrestling a dwarf in 7th grade. I was in the lightest weight class (75 lb) and had about as many forfeit wins as real wins that year.

Anyway, we are the away team and come out onto the mat to stretch and stuff, then go to our chairs. Then the home team comes out and who's leading the line - a dwarf looking like he's 35 with big arms because he's compressed. I'm immediately in shock. Anyway, we go back to the locker room for last minute instructions and pep talks and I just start crying - "he looks like an old man, he's going to kill me..". The asst slams me into a locker and tells me to focus, etc. Some of the other guys are laughing and I lash out that's it's easy for them to laugh - they're not wrestling a tough looking Oompa Loompa.

So it's at this time that people ask - how did you do?

I whipped his butt! He had no leverage and wasn't really mobile so I majored him. Tried to cradle him but his short legs kept slipping out.

My mom, to her everlasting shame, got only 1 picture of this (pre digital age), and you can't tell I'm wrestling a little person. She will take that failure to her grave.

This is a true story and I apologize for its un-PC nature. It's way more hilarious when I can expand on the story verbally - tired of typing
Click to expand...

Haven't felt that guilty while lmaoing in awhile. Hilarious story. Mad props to the little person who was out for wrestling. That's badass.
 
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Everybody thinks farting in a crowded elevator is funny. But try telling that to a midget.
 
el dub said:
Me and RW cain't help ourselves for the dirty component of our minds.. Those cards was stacked against us from the start. Heck, even our last principal, Machine Gun Larry went pervy on us, if'n I remember correctly...:eek::oops::rolleyes:o_O

LOL You remember that one, bro?
Click to expand...
yeah - not so much that I cared because not my business. Just glad you helped keep our locker sorta clean for 3 years (no banana peels or such). And You didn't give away the locker combo. Just wished you put a Farrah Fawcett or Cheryl Tiegs poster up there
 
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