You are an asshole if… thread

[DFSNOLE]

But am I remembering right??

Yes sir. I believe you are.

 

[SiouxCyty]

You think a urinal is where your gum should go

Or pubes.

 

[SiouxCyty]

The DOT wants you to use both lanes as far as possible. It is proven that helps traffic flow better than everyone merging early. Using the zipper merge can reduce traffic backup up to 40%. I am baffled that so many people haven't read up on this or aren't smart enough to figure it out.
The drivers that try to block both lanes so people can't continue to use a lane until it is time to merge are the worst.

I don’t see how that would be faster than one line continuously moving. Having 2 lines that have to alternate seems slower. Back to the original point, I’m not letting the asshole in. Parking lots after games are different.

 

[OutbackBowl2017]

Twice for me and both times I left a dime or a nickel on the table so they KNEW I thought they sucked.

Assholes who leave a dime or nickel because they think they were served so poorly that a minimal 10% tip isn’t warranted no matter how bad they think the service was.

Ever stop to think you come off as a douche bag and no sense wasting their time and energy waiting on you because they know you are going to leave a shitty tip?

 

[Hawkman98]

Flick your cigarette butts (or other garbage) out of the window of your car

I pull people over for this often

 

[Finance85]

I pull people over for this often

Good. Do they ever deny it?

 

[ConvenientParking]

I pull people over for this often

I used to try to correct this behavior at house parties and people thought it was weird that I had a thing about littering but not about drinking room temperature liquor

 

[Tom Paris]

Assholes who leave a dime or nickel because they think they were served so poorly that a minimal 10% tip isn’t warranted no matter how bad they think the service was.

Ever stop to think you come off as a douche bag and no sense wasting their time and energy waiting on you because they know you are going to leave a shitty tip?

No. Because after bartending for 15 years I tip very well and am beyond polite to people who wait on me. I don't order roast beef from a deli without saying "May I please have...? My daughters are the same way. When we order at restaurants we ask and say please.

Maybe you should have read closer that I have done it TWICE in my lifetime. I can remember both times. Once at Vitos and once at Del's in Eldridge. When I have to get up and go to the bar to get a drink refilled, because you never checked on us, you're doing a shitty job. When you don't bring something my wife asked for, you're doing a shitty job. When you leave the dirty plates in front of us for 15 minutes after we're done and THEN ask if we want the check, you're doing a shitty job. When you make us wait another 10 minutes to bring the check you're doing a shitty job.

So no...the only one coming off as a douche bag is you...for not reading what I posted and not knowing anything about how I treat people in service jobs.

 

[Hawkman98]

Good. Do they ever deny it?

No they act like I'm nuts for pulling them over. They don't think throwing cigarette butts is littering.

 

[The Tradition]

No they act like I'm nuts for pulling them over. They don't think throwing cigarette butts is littering.

What if I showed you this in my cupholder...

... and I told you, "Officer, you must have seen a moth or something, but my butt is right there."

????

 

[Hawkman98]

What if I showed you this in my cupholder...

... and I told you, "Officer, you must have seen a moth or something, but my butt is right there."

????

I'd ask if you would want to come back to my patrol car and watch the video of the fire flying past my windshield.

 

[The Tradition]

I'd ask if you would want to come back to my patrol car and watch the video of the fire flying past my windshield.

Huh. I figured I'd get a roadside beatdown and my car searched.

Good to know.

 

[Hawkman98]

Huh. I figured I'd get a roadside beatdown and my car searched.

Good to know.

That might happen too.

 

[ping72]

Or pubes.

If a dude is so old he isn’t shaving his pubes, I’d just be happy he found his way to the urinal and not pissing all over the floor. Typically those guys are wearing diapers.