Anti-Bullying bill is dead...again

[Vroom_C14]

http://thegazette.com/anti-bullying-bill-appears-dead-again-20150604

So our great leaders in Des Moines are on their 3rd year of failure in the Anti-bullying arena. With this issue becoming nearly an epidemic in schools, how can they not get something passed? This is becoming a rather "big deal" as bullying in (and out) of school has caused kids to seek counseling, withdraw from society and in some cases, suicide.

Come on "leaders" - LEAD!

 

[mstp1992]

http://thegazette.com/anti-bullying-bill-appears-dead-again-20150604

So our great leaders in Des Moines are on their 3rd year of failure in the Anti-bullying arena. With this issue becoming nearly an epidemic in schools, how can they not get something passed? This is becoming a rather "big deal" as bullying in (and out) of school has caused kids to seek counseling, withdraw from society and in some cases, suicide.

Come on "leaders" - LEAD!

Well, these same legislators can't do anything about medical marijuana either. One clown even said the proposal was (I'm paraphrasing) akin to legalizing recreational use of marijuana.

 

[naturalmwa]

Is bullying really worse now than it was 20 or 40 years ago? Not that it wasn't bad then and even if it remained the same still deserving of attention. I'm just questing if it's really a rising epidemic that is a bigger deal now than it ever was?

 

[BubsFinn]

Anti-bullying legislation? Seriously? Yeah, no way that could have a mountain of unintended consequences.

 

[unIowa]

Anti-bullying legislation? Seriously? Yeah, no way that could have a mountain of unintended consequences.

I agree but the schools need some protection so they can go hard after bullies that are roaming their hallways. Everyone thinks their Jonny or Sally are perfect little angles but they may just be perfect little a-holes away from home.

 

[Wahawk56]

Is bullying really worse now than it was 20 or 40 years ago? Not that it wasn't bad then and even if it remained the same still deserving of attention. I'm just questing if it's really a rising epidemic that is a bigger deal now than it ever was?

I think now cyber bullying takes things away from school and can make it 24/7

 

[Vroom_C14]

Is bullying really worse now than it was 20 or 40 years ago? Not that it wasn't bad then and even if it remained the same still deserving of attention. I'm just questing if it's really a rising epidemic that is a bigger deal now than it ever was?

Compared to when I went through school I would have to say it is much worse. The entitled kids really believe they can do anything they want (and much of the time their parents are blind to who their kid really is and deny any wrong doing - even with video proof). "Back in the day" bullying amounted to getting locked in a locker or just a fist fight. Now it is much worse, it doesn't end on school grounds - with social media it lingers much, much longer and we all know "it's on the internet so it has to be true".

Unfortunately I have had to deal with my son getting bullied to the point of nearly calling it quits. The schools take a really poor approach to this in my view, if you defend yourself you receive the same suspension as the bully (which I have told my son that we will support him if he decides to drop the bully - hard thing is our son is not an aggressive person, he has martial arts background and knows how to defend himself but doesn't want to be expelled). It really is hard to watch it happen and feel nearly defenseless in the grand scheme of things.

I recall a kid getting bullied pretty bad in HS because he was really into Star Wars, was smaller and wasn't a jock. He left HS at 5'8 150lbs, he is now 6'2 200 and a retired Marine. I wonder if the bully still wants to pick on him...

 

[phantom_204]

The problem of policing bullying is that "bullying" has become the go-to complaint for every parent who's kid is told something he doesn't like to hear. A kid says or does something assinine, gets teased for it, he was bullied. A teacher says something harsh to a kid, that teacher is a bully. Not that there isn't legitimate issues with bullys, but you have to be careful not to open pandora's box. I know I'll catch crap for this, but the anti-bully campaign has served to make a lot of victims. I think school programs teaching kids to band together and stand up to bullies is effective and makes kids aware of what true bullying is and helps them be there for kids that need support.

 

[naturalmwa]

The problem of policing bullying is that "bullying" has become the go-to complaint for every parent who's kid is told something he doesn't like to hear. A kid says or does something assinine, gets teased for it, he was bullied. A teacher says something harsh to a kid, that teacher is a bully. Not that there isn't legitimate issues with bullys, but you have to be careful not to open pandora's box. I know I'll catch crap for this, but the anti-bully campaign has served to make a lot of victims. I think school programs teaching kids to band together and stand up to bullies is effective and makes kids aware of what true bullying is and helps them be there for kids that need support.

How do you know this? I don't know much about this topic because I don't have kids, don't work with kids and have no interest in researching kid centric issues. Aren't you in a similar boat? Why would you think an anti-bullying bill wouldn't direct schools to do just what you propose, start anti-bullying programs? According to the story, the Iowa bill did.

 

[mstp1992]

The problem of policing bullying is that "bullying" has become the go-to complaint for every parent who's kid is told something he doesn't like to hear. A kid says or does something assinine, gets teased for it, he was bullied. A teacher says something harsh to a kid, that teacher is a bully. Not that there isn't legitimate issues with bullys, but you have to be careful not to open pandora's box. I know I'll catch crap for this, but the anti-bully campaign has served to make a lot of victims. I think school programs teaching kids to band together and stand up to bullies is effective and makes kids aware of what true bullying is and helps them be there for kids that need support.

It all goes back to the parents. Children aren't born to be bullies; parents foster that attitude, though.

 

[naturalmwa]

It all goes back to the parents. Children aren't born to be bullies; parents foster that attitude, though.

I think studies show this may not be true. Kids are born mean and must be taught to be tolerant. Sort of gives credence to the whole "born with original sin" idea. Of course there are evolutionary advantages to being a bully, so it works for my world view too.

 

[Vroom_C14]

The schools are trying to form "ABG" Anti-Bully groups. Our school is making attempts (with the communities input) on how to best handle bullying. They have formed task force's that include parents, students, teachers and LEO.

I completely understand about the "victim" mentality and in our meetings that is one thing that is hard to get your hands around. There are times it comes down to "your word vs their word" and that is very difficult. We have camera's in every hallway, library, lunchroom, office, and now the parking lot and around the building. When it is caught on video, it's pretty hard to get out of.

I have seen the bullying from several different classifications - poor, single parent, broken homes and the affluent families.

It truly does take a village...

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

http://thegazette.com/anti-bullying-bill-appears-dead-again-20150604

So our great leaders in Des Moines are on their 3rd year of failure in the Anti-bullying arena. With this issue becoming nearly an epidemic in schools, how can they not get something passed? This is becoming a rather "big deal" as bullying in (and out) of school has caused kids to seek counseling, withdraw from society and in some cases, suicide.

Come on "leaders" - LEAD!

Yeah, the leaders are the parents though sir. Not the f'n school boards.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

Is bullying really worse now than it was 20 or 40 years ago? Not that it wasn't bad then and even if it remained the same still deserving of attention. I'm just questing if it's really a rising epidemic that is a bigger deal now than it ever was?

No it's not, its not nearly as bad. The problem is that we are raising a bunch of kids that have no respect, and can't deal with pressure.

 

[naturalmwa]

No it's not, its not nearly as bad. The problem is that we are raising a bunch of kids that have no respect, and can't deal with pressure.

How do you know this? Do you have kids? Are they real? I might wait for 3boysMom to answer this.

 

[lucas80]

It all goes back to the parents. Children aren't born to be bullies; parents foster that attitude, though.

Good parents don't. Absentee parents and societal losers create bullies.

 

[CarolinaHawkeye]

It seems to me, and I may be wrong, but just like hate crimes, this should already be covered by law.

 

[lucas80]

Is bullying really worse now than it was 20 or 40 years ago? Not that it wasn't bad then and even if it remained the same still deserving of attention. I'm just questing if it's really a rising epidemic that is a bigger deal now than it ever was?

As a father of teenagers I am going to say yes. Good that you say it's always deserving of attention, but I am more strident. We need to move forward as a society. I find some of the responses in this thread and the others on the subject comical when it's suggested kids aren't tough enough, or standing up to bullying is transformative (As if high school were an inspirational movie).

 

[lucas80]

This was also a crushing loss for Terry Branstad. He's been putting some effort into this for several sessions and he can't get it passed. Other than the gas tax increase he's been blocked on everything he wanted, and, he's been publicly absent from the budget debate.
Those campaign ads where an energetic Branstad bounded up stairs to a platform have been replaced by the reality of an aging governor with a heart condition who really just wanted the job again, and didn't have much vigor or passion to accomplish something.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

Compared to when I went through school I would have to say it is much worse. The entitled kids really believe they can do anything they want (and much of the time their parents are blind to who their kid really is and deny any wrong doing - even with video proof). "Back in the day" bullying amounted to getting locked in a locker or just a fist fight. Now it is much worse, it doesn't end on school grounds - with social media it lingers much, much longer and we all know "it's on the internet so it has to be true".

Unfortunately I have had to deal with my son getting bullied to the point of nearly calling it quits. The schools take a really poor approach to this in my view, if you defend yourself you receive the same suspension as the bully (which I have told my son that we will support him if he decides to drop the bully - hard thing is our son is not an aggressive person, he has martial arts background and knows how to defend himself but doesn't want to be expelled). It really is hard to watch it happen and feel nearly defenseless in the grand scheme of things.

I recall a kid getting bullied pretty bad in HS because he was really into Star Wars, was smaller and wasn't a jock. He left HS at 5'8 150lbs, he is now 6'2 200 and a retired Marine. I wonder if the bully still wants to pick on him...

Then go talk directly to the kids parents and make it clear that if their kid continues to bully yours, you will begin bullying them, and by bullying them, I mean bullying the parents.
The schools can't do ish these days, because parents will raise all sorts of hell if their kid gets punished.
Parents are the reasons behind all of this.

 

[73chief]

I think now cyber bullying takes things away from school and can make it 24/7

This. When I was a kid. Bullying stopped when the school bell rang. Now it doesn't.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

The schools are trying to form "ABG" Anti-Bully groups. Our school is making attempts (with the communities input) on how to best handle bullying. They have formed task force's that include parents, students, teachers and LEO.

I completely understand about the "victim" mentality and in our meetings that is one thing that is hard to get your hands around. There are times it comes down to "your word vs their word" and that is very difficult. We have camera's in every hallway, library, lunchroom, office, and now the parking lot and around the building. When it is caught on video, it's pretty hard to get out of.

I have seen the bullying from several different classifications - poor, single parent, broken homes and the affluent families.

It truly does take a village...

Have you ever thought of trying to up your sons confidence? Take him to a martial arts studio, or something of that sort? I'm not sure what your kid is like, but this whole let's try to be overly PC and 'compassionate' BS is not working.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

How do you know this? Do you have kids? Are they real? I might wait for 3boysMom to answer this.

Yes, I do have kids. Swag can confirm this.

 

[dandh]

I agree but the schools need some protection so they can go hard after bullies that are roaming their hallways. Everyone thinks their Jonny or Sally are perfect little angles but they may just be perfect little a-holes away from home.

Obtuse or acute?

 

[Vroom_C14]

Yeah, the leaders are the parents though sir. Not the f'n school boards.

Where did I say school boards? I even noted that it starts at home, whether it be single parent, poor, etc.

100% in agreement with you on the parents are where it begins and ends. The school's have to enforce their "rules" about bullying. The school's play a part in keeping the order within their walls, but should not be the ones with the entire burden on them. Much like the leaders aren't the police, people get to where they are by the choices they make and how they are raised. It is not the school board or police's fault for the person committing the crime\breaking the rule - but they do have to uphold the law\rules that are in-place.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

Good parents don't. Absentee parents and societal losers create bullies.

They don't always necessarily foster it from what I've seen, as some just simply ignore it and make excuses.

I was in VA, and this one ##$#'s kid was picking on my 8-year old. The kid was 13 years old and he was throwing

Where did I say school boards? I even noted that it starts at home, whether it be single parent, poor, etc.

100% in agreement with you on the parents are where it begins and ends. The school's have to enforce their "rules" about bullying. The school's play a part in keeping the order within their walls, but should not be the ones with the entire burden on them. Much like the leaders aren't the police, people get to where they are by the choices they make and how they are raised. It is not the school board or police's fault for the person committing the crime\breaking the rule - but they do have to uphold the law\rules that are in-place.

Fair enough, here is a problem I see with this legislation already.

-A requirement that schools notify parents of any incidents, except when the victim or a school official believes notifying the parents would create further distress.

Right here we see a piece of the legislation that is flat out useless already. Either report it or don't, don't sit around and decide whether you shoudl report it, or let a school official decide it's too 'risky' to report. Again, just BS government false protection here.

 

[baycity4]

 

[Vroom_C14]

Have you ever thought of trying to up your sons confidence? Take him to a martial arts studio, or something of that sort? I'm not sure what your kid is like, but this whole let's try to be overly PC and 'compassionate' BS is not working.

If you had read my posts you wouldn't have written that - I stated specifically that my son has Martial Arts background... He knows how to defend himself, he doesn't want to get expelled for defending himself! This is where the school board needs to change their policy and make sure the one that defends themselves is not given the same punishment as the attacker (just like the laws the police uphold). The bully doesn't have the balls to come to my home and do or say anything, he knows I won't tolerate it. He follows my son and others around with his "little gang" and threatens in numbers, by himself he is nothing and he knows it.

There is a report filed with the police as well, that way if something does happen "outside of school" the police can go arrest him.

I have told my son that if he sees him without his "gang" then he should confront him and put an end to it. Whenever my son sees him alone, the bully scurries away quickly. My son is no longer intimidated by him or his "gang" - funny how they think they are so "gangsta" in small little Iowa town..

My drive now is so others don't have to suffer.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

If you had read my posts you wouldn't have written that - I stated specifically that my son has Martial Arts background... He knows how to defend himself, he doesn't want to get expelled for defending himself! This is where the school board needs to change their policy and make sure the one that defends themselves is not given the same punishment as the attacker (just like the laws the police uphold). The bully doesn't have the balls to come to my home and do or say anything, he knows I won't tolerate it. He follows my son and others around with his "little gang" and threatens in numbers, by himself he is nothing and he knows it.

There is a report filed with the police as well, that way if something does happen "outside of school" the police can go arrest him.

I have told my son that if he sees him without his "gang" then he should confront him and put an end to it. Whenever my son sees him alone, the bully scurries away quickly. My son is no longer intimidated by him or his "gang" - funny how they think they are so "gangsta" in small little Iowa town..

My drive now is so others don't have to suffer.

Have the schools made it so that you get expelled just for defending yourself now? I know that you would likely still suspended back in the day regardless, but it's too bad you get expelled for it now. Which doesn't surprise me.

Again, I think the parents are the worst part of this. It's them that have taken the ability to check kids away from the schools. One of the biggest problems IMO, is that kids don't think they need to fear other adults when they act out.

 

[Vroom_C14]

Have the schools made it so that you get expelled just for defending yourself now? I know that you would likely still suspended back in the day regardless, but it's too bad you get expelled for it now. Which doesn't surprise me.

Again, I think the parents are the worst part of this. It's them that have taken the ability to check kids away from the schools. One of the biggest problems IMO, is that kids don't think they need to fear other adults when they act out.

YOu are spot on with your last statement. I will add to that with "event he teachers get bullied by some kids as the teacher's can't lay a finger on them".

Back in the day - I saw teachers man-handle kids, throw them against lockers, etc - bullying wasn't really much of an issue (that kind of gives a view as to "how it has changed").

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

-Funding to train school officials how to recognize and address bullying incidents.

Here's another thing I don't like about this legislation. First off the funding will be a battle every year. Second, if we need training to recognize and address bullying incidents directly from the government, then we have a serious problem.

 

[KitingHigh]

The schools have no reason or right to adress things said online or out of their property. It's bad enough that they trample first amendment rights on property. This, like hate crime legislation is a bad thing. Both issues should be handled by properly enforcing the rules and laws already on the books.

That being said, the real problem that occurs nowadays is that there is such little tolerance for any fighting of any kind and children are so uber protected form everything that they never develop the skills to deal with their own problems. Back in the day if there was an issue, you met at the yard after school and fought, won or lost, and let it go afterwards. Often you would become friends afterwards. If it was too bad, your dads met and worked it out somehow. The schools involvement has done nothing but make it worse. They don't resolve the problem but instead bury it where it can grow and fester so when it finally is exposed, it is far worse than had the kids worked it out on their own early on.

 

[naturalmwa]

The schools have no reason or right to adress things said online or out of their property. It's bad enough that they trample first amendment rights on property. This, like hate crime legislation is a bad thing. Both issues should be handled by properly enforcing the rules and laws already on the books.

That being said, the real problem that occurs nowadays is that there is such little tolerance for any fighting of any kind and children are so uber protected form everything that they never develop the skills to deal with their own problems. Back in the day if there was an issue, you met at the yard after school and fought, won or lost, and let it go afterwards. Often you would become friends afterwards. If it was too bad, your dads met and worked it out somehow. The schools involvement has done nothing but make it worse. They don't resolve the problem but instead bury it where it can grow and fester so when it finally is exposed, it is far worse than had the kids worked it out on their own early on.

If a HS kid gets arrested for drinking at a house party, are you saying the school can't kick him off the football team?

 

[phantom_204]

How do you know this? I don't know much about this topic because I don't have kids, don't work with kids and have no interest in researching kid centric issues. Aren't you in a similar boat? Why would you think an anti-bullying bill wouldn't direct schools to do just what you propose, start anti-bullying programs? According to the story, the Iowa bill did.

I have kids and have worked with kids. My son has had times where he's not getting along with a particular kid. Typically, I have called some parents to find out if my son is doing something to cause the situation. If he is doing something to cause friction with others, than I can work with him as opposed to accusing automatically accusing others of bullying. Growing up is awkward and there is inevitably going to be conflicts. I think as parents we teach kids how to deal with these conflicts.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

YOu are spot on with your last statement. I will add to that with "event he teachers get bullied by some kids as the teacher's can't lay a finger on them".

Back in the day - I saw teachers man-handle kids, throw them against lockers, etc - bullying wasn't really much of an issue (that kind of gives a view as to "how it has changed").

I had an incident when a parent came and scolded me because I checked her son, for picking on my step-son. Her son along with another kid, both aged 13, were picking on my 8 year old. They were winging footballs at his head. Her son, was a little @#@#@, and many in the neighborhood knew it. She was one of those parents that could never believe her precious little angel was a arsehole.

Anyways, I caught the 13 year olds doing this, and said that the next time a football gets thrown at my kids head, I'm going to be the one throwing it back.(of course I wouldn't have, but he didn't know that) This was a moment where my kid was completely outmatched, hence the reason why i stepped.

He immediately went and told his mom, and minutes later he she comes all 'hard ass' like. Fireworks went off immediately, and I was f'n laid into her. My wife comes and hears this and KABOOM!!, once she realized what was going on laid into her even worse than I did, I didn't need to do anything else but watch.. From there the wife basically scampered away, not such a hard ass now, and promised to tell her husband on me.

Never heard a word from him, nor did the kid ever bother my 8 year old again. Sometimes you just have to show the parents that you're not going to play nice about these things.

No violence occurred, but our point was made.

 

[KitingHigh]

If a HS kid gets arrested for drinking at a house party, are you saying the school can't kick him off the football team?

Getting arresested is not the same thing as saying something mean on Facebook. In my post I wrote the school should not have authority over what students said outside of school.

Now as for underage drinking; no I think it would be asinine to kick a kid off the team for that. First, if every highschool football player that drank got arrested and kicked out most schools wouldn't be able to field a team. Second, kicking them off would be more detrimental than simply handling it with lost playing time or extra stadium steps or gassers. If you keep kids on the team you can help mold them into responsible adults, kicking them off is giving up on them and that causes far more harm than good.

 

[dgordo]

I had an incident when a parent came and scolded me because I checked her son, for picking on my step-son. Her son along with another kid, both aged 13, were picking on my 8 year old. They were winging footballs at his head. Her son, was a little @#@#@, and many in the neighborhood knew it. She was one of those parents that could never believe her precious little angel was a arsehole.

Anyways, I caught the 13 year olds doing this, and said that the next time a football gets thrown at my kids head, I'm going to be the one throwing it back.(of course I wouldn't have, but he didn't know that) This was a moment where my kid was completely outmatched, hence the reason why i stepped.

He immediately went and told his mom, and minutes later he she comes all 'hard ass' like. Fireworks went off immediately, and I was f'n laid into her. My wife comes and hears this and KABOOM!!, once she realized what was going on laid into her even worse than I did, I didn't need to do anything else but watch.. From there the wife basically scampered away, not such a hard ass now, and promised to tell her husband on me.

Never heard a word from him, nor did the kid ever bother my 8 year old again. Sometimes you just have to show the parents that you're not going to play nice about these things.

No violence occurred, but our point was made.

you should have banged her in front of the kid.

 

[BABiscuit]

Then go talk directly to the kids parents and make it clear that if their kid continues to bully yours, you will begin bullying them, and by bullying them, I mean bullying the parents.
The schools can't do ish these days, because parents will raise all sorts of hell if their kid gets punished.
Parents are the reasons behind all of this.

Maybe you should talk to your local representative about drafting a bill allowing parents to just assault other parents if they think their kid is being bullied. Sounds much more reasonable.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

you should have banged her in front of the kid.

It wouldn't have been difficult. She was a navy wife, who's husband was a Senior Chief in the Navy. He was gone most of the time on 8 month carrier deployments. She was a known whore of the neighborhood. I remember when his carrier went out, that VERY night, she went to the bar just outside base and her and another skanky whore wife, picked them up some marines had themselves a good night.
Neither one of these women were particularly attractive, at all really.

 

[Aegon_Targaryen]

Maybe you should talk to your local representative about drafting a bill allowing parents to just assault other parents if they think their kid is being bullied. Sounds much more reasonable.

I see what you're doing here, but my way worked. Didn't it? Problem solved, no tax money used, and no battle for a useless legislation.