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Creepy teenage boy problems.

Although pics weren't involved, we took our daughter's phone away for quite some time last spring. I hate that kids are so addicted to their phones. It allows them to sneak around authority, parents, and be connected 24/7. There are some positives but way too many negatives. Creeping on good looking girls is only natural, but asking for lude pics of a family member would be a red flag and disturbing to me.
 
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Although pics weren't involved, we took our daughter's phone away for quite some time last spring. I hate that kids are so addicted to their phones. It allows them to sneak around authority, parents, and be connected 24/7. There are some positives but way too many negatives. Creeping on good looking girls is only natural, but asking for lude pics of a family member would be a red flag and disturbing to me.
quaalude-640x300.jpg
 
Worse than I thought after I got a hold of his Facebook private messages.

Needless to say, his facebook account is gone.

Tomorrow I am getting him a flip phone that can make calls only.

Too bad I have to shut down all his methods of electronic communications, but that is where we are at this point.

Not sure how you teach a kid on what is and what is not appropriate to send to other people. You would figure one would understand that naturally on their own. I definitely talk about what is and what is not appropriate.

Seems to be not registering at all.

I'm amazed at how many kids my daughters age (10) have IPhones. She gets made fun of because she doesn't have a phone with wifi. I can't believe a 10 yr old even needs a cell phone to begin with.
 
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Well, after some serious discussions, i gave him back his ipod and phone.

However,

I have taken control of his facebook, and all email accounts. He longer has messenger. I will check his devices once a day to check for new accounts or anything else he might be trying to slip by me.

His phone no longer had texting capabilities or able to send or receive anything.

So, i told him he can start to work his way back to more freedom and responsibility, or go down the path where I just flat out take everything, it's up to him.

So i guess the only thing i am NOT stopping pretty much is his access to wifi/internet thru those devices.

I just don't think he has any clue as to what a healthy normal adult relationship looks like at this point. Which is why 15 year olds shouldn't be doing this crap in the first place. I do find it shocking how many parents allow their kids of that age to be dating and have boyfriends/girlfriends.
 
Also look for snapchat, whatsapp, kik, etc., etc. If a 15yo boy wants poon, he's gonna find a way to keep trying.
 
Yes I am married, and he is around plenty of normal relationships. So i guess maybe that isn't an excuse.

Stiff- Yeah, it's impossible to cut off everything. I am hoping with me checking his stuff every day along with all email accounts that will severely help most of the issues.

Plus, he knows if it keeps happening, he will lose his stuff period. Maybe that is enuf of an incentive, maybe not.
 
Yes I am married, and he is around plenty of normal relationships. So i guess maybe that isn't an excuse.

Stiff- Yeah, it's impossible to cut off everything. I am hoping with me checking his stuff every day along with all email accounts that will severely help most of the issues.

Plus, he knows if it keeps happening, he will lose his stuff period. Maybe that is enuf of an incentive, maybe not.
I'm hate to comment on parenting without the whole story so want to ask how much talking is going on between you, your wife, and your son. Just punishing a kid for something like this could have the exact opposite response you want. Make it more taboo and interest him in it more. The kid obviously has questions and is curious. Correcting the actions isn't going to correct the root cause. He needs to understand what he's going through is normal but what is and isnt' appropriate and why it isn't.
 
Mn Hawk- Yeah i get that. However, if he can't control it, I have to control it for him, at least for now until he grows up a bit maybe. We have definitely had discussions on what is appropriate and not along with the why, but you never know if it is really sinking in.
 
If he actually can't control it, then would counseling be a good idea? I mean, I know teenage boys (and older than teenage boys) are dumb, but if he's aware of the repercussions and still has problems, then maybe there's something else going on.
 
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If he actually can't control it, then would counseling be a good idea? I mean, I know teenage boys (and older than teenage boys) are dumb, but if he's aware of the repercussions and still has problems, then maybe there's something else going on.
If my 15 year old son was asking his cousin for nudes he would be in counseling already. You're never going to stop kids his age from trying to look at sexual material, that's just human nature. If you try and ban It, they will try and find ways around it.
 
Yeah, still pondering the counseling idea. However, he tends to clam up so i am not sure they could get anything out of him. Thx for all the advice btw folks.
 
He may clam up with you guys (and if you haven't had a lot of 'those' discussions, it's understandable) but he may open up to a counselor.

At the very least, it would be worth it to go for a long drive and just talk to him. I always had some good discussions with my parents while it was just me and one of them in the car...it was much easier in the car than at the table. Less confrontational, no awkward eye contact.
 
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Ahead of ya Wendy, thurs/fri we are suppose to go to Chicago to meet a buddy and hit up a Cubs game. Too bad we probably won't go tho because of the 90% chance of thunderstorms on Friday.
 
Saw this Onion article today and immediatly thought of Hansenhawk and this thread:

American Teen Somehow Developing Unhealthy Attitude Toward Sex

NEWSAugust 14, 2002
VOL 38 ISSUE 29 Local · High School · Sex ·Teenagers


ST. LOUIS—Andrew Zollner, a teenage male born and raised in the U.S., has somehow developed an unhealthy attitude toward sex and human sexuality, sources close to the 16-year-old report.

304.jpg

Andrew Zollner.


Unlike the average American teen, who views sex as a healthy, mutually satisfying act between consenting adults, Zollner sees it as dirty, dangerous, illicit, shameful, mysterious, and frightening. But in spite of such negative associations, he places an exaggeratedly high value upon the physical act, calling it "the best" and "the only thing I think about."

Even more baffling and contradictory, Zollner regards beautiful women as sex objects simultaneously deserving of worship and disrespect.

"Hot chicks are, like, the greatest thing in the whole world," Zollner said. "But it's weird, 'cause even though they're so awesome, most of them are, like, these total dumb bitches."

Martin Zollner, Andrew's father and self-described "best buddy," expressed confusion over his son's attitudes.

"I don't know how he got these thoughts into his head," the elder Zollner said. "I've always tried to make sure he has a healthy interest in girls. I try to point out the best-looking ones to him, in real life as well as in those Victoria's Secret catalogs. I also give him lots of encouragement, telling him he's going to be quite a stud someday. And just to show him I'm not uptight, I josh him about the girls he's dated, asking him what 'base' he got to. If he has any specific questions about sex, I make sure to send him to his mother, who's better at explaining this stuff."

"My son is a nice boy," said Grace Zollner, Andrew's mother.

304.jpg

Zollner learns about women at his local Barnes & Noble bookstore.


Zollner's confusion and ignorance about sex is all the more inexplicable considering that, as a U.S. teen, he has enjoyed a substantial amount of exposure to the subject. Among Zollner's many sources for sexual imagery and information are rap videos, the 1999 filmAmerican Pie, the St. Louis Rams cheerleaders, the midriff-baring outfits worn by female classmates at school, hundreds of hours of school-hallway and locker-room talk, and the videotape Your Body And You, which was shown to Zollner's health class on the last week of freshman year by physical-education teacher Greg Erstad.

"We did what we do every year," Erstad said. "We split the boys and girls up, and showed them the version of the film appropriate to their gender, so as not to overwhelm them with information about what's happening to the other sex. The Your Body And You tapes tell kids what's happening to their bodies at this time of life, with a special emphasis on disease and pregnancy. Then, we give the kids a pamphlet, usually on the last day of school, and there's a question-and-answer session, and that's it for another year."

Added Erstad: "Andrew didn't seem to have any questions. He was quiet through the whole thing."

According to therapist Dr. Michael Snyder, today's teen has a far healthier attitude toward sex than those of generations past, thanks to improved access.

"In more prudish times, sex was never discussed," Snyder said. "But these days, teens are free to openly talk about sex. And their access to sexually suggestive or even explicit material is virtually limitless. So it's odd that Zollner, given the amount of sex he sees on TV, in movies, and in magazines, still has somewhat warped views about it."
 
Saw this Onion article today and immediatly thought of Hansenhawk and this thread:

American Teen Somehow Developing Unhealthy Attitude Toward Sex

NEWSAugust 14, 2002
VOL 38 ISSUE 29 Local · High School · Sex ·Teenagers


ST. LOUIS—Andrew Zollner, a teenage male born and raised in the U.S., has somehow developed an unhealthy attitude toward sex and human sexuality, sources close to the 16-year-old report.

304.jpg

Andrew Zollner.


Unlike the average American teen, who views sex as a healthy, mutually satisfying act between consenting adults, Zollner sees it as dirty, dangerous, illicit, shameful, mysterious, and frightening. But in spite of such negative associations, he places an exaggeratedly high value upon the physical act, calling it "the best" and "the only thing I think about."

Even more baffling and contradictory, Zollner regards beautiful women as sex objects simultaneously deserving of worship and disrespect.

"Hot chicks are, like, the greatest thing in the whole world," Zollner said. "But it's weird, 'cause even though they're so awesome, most of them are, like, these total dumb bitches."

Martin Zollner, Andrew's father and self-described "best buddy," expressed confusion over his son's attitudes.

"I don't know how he got these thoughts into his head," the elder Zollner said. "I've always tried to make sure he has a healthy interest in girls. I try to point out the best-looking ones to him, in real life as well as in those Victoria's Secret catalogs. I also give him lots of encouragement, telling him he's going to be quite a stud someday. And just to show him I'm not uptight, I josh him about the girls he's dated, asking him what 'base' he got to. If he has any specific questions about sex, I make sure to send him to his mother, who's better at explaining this stuff."

"My son is a nice boy," said Grace Zollner, Andrew's mother.

304.jpg

Zollner learns about women at his local Barnes & Noble bookstore.


Zollner's confusion and ignorance about sex is all the more inexplicable considering that, as a U.S. teen, he has enjoyed a substantial amount of exposure to the subject. Among Zollner's many sources for sexual imagery and information are rap videos, the 1999 filmAmerican Pie, the St. Louis Rams cheerleaders, the midriff-baring outfits worn by female classmates at school, hundreds of hours of school-hallway and locker-room talk, and the videotape Your Body And You, which was shown to Zollner's health class on the last week of freshman year by physical-education teacher Greg Erstad.

"We did what we do every year," Erstad said. "We split the boys and girls up, and showed them the version of the film appropriate to their gender, so as not to overwhelm them with information about what's happening to the other sex. The Your Body And You tapes tell kids what's happening to their bodies at this time of life, with a special emphasis on disease and pregnancy. Then, we give the kids a pamphlet, usually on the last day of school, and there's a question-and-answer session, and that's it for another year."

Added Erstad: "Andrew didn't seem to have any questions. He was quiet through the whole thing."

According to therapist Dr. Michael Snyder, today's teen has a far healthier attitude toward sex than those of generations past, thanks to improved access.

"In more prudish times, sex was never discussed," Snyder said. "But these days, teens are free to openly talk about sex. And their access to sexually suggestive or even explicit material is virtually limitless. So it's odd that Zollner, given the amount of sex he sees on TV, in movies, and in magazines, still has somewhat warped views about it."


Umm . . . that's perfect?
 
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