Real Time Drama: WWYD? No TP in the stall

[Menace Sockeyes]

Used the personal restroom at work for the 8 employee wing I work from in my building. These bathrooms sometimes are the last to have TP restocked, so I often bring tissues if I need to #2. I thought I just had to piss, but I dropped a deuce before remembering to look at the TP dispenser. It’s EMPTY! What is my best course of action? Help me HROT, you’re my only hope!

 

[JMNSHO]

Used the personal restroom at work for the 8 employee wing I work from in my building. These bathrooms sometimes are the last to have TP restocked, so I often bring tissues if I need to #2. I thought I just had to piss, but I dropped a deuce before remembering to look at the TP dispenser. It’s EMPTY! What is my best course of action? Help me HROT, you’re my only hope!

Are you particularly fond of the socks you’re wearing?

 

[Roy-munson]

Flush!! Lift toilet seat.. dip them cheeks. Air dry.. you may smell and have a wet stain on your pants..

 

[SondyRules]

Any paper towel dispensers?

 

[Run&Blade]

Scrape using phone case.

Order new phone case.

 

[LuciousBDragon]

Used the personal restroom at work for the 8 employee wing I work from in my building. These bathrooms sometimes are the last to have TP restocked, so I often bring tissues if I need to #2. I thought I just had to piss, but I dropped a deuce before remembering to look at the TP dispenser. It’s EMPTY! What is my best course of action? Help me HROT, you’re my only hope!

Use your phone. Kill two birds with one phone.

 

[BelemNole]

This is when it's good to have allergies. I'd just pull some tissues out of my pocket.

 

[Menace Sockeyes]

This is when it's good to have allergies. I'd just pull some tissues out of my pocket.

You just gave me an idea...

 

[dgordo]

call 911

 

[Greenway12]

Question: are you wearing a turban or neckerchief?

 

[Menace Sockeyes]

Any paper towel dispensers?

Effin' empty. We can barely get tp stocked before it runs out, let alone paper towels.

 

[potato_in_my_anus]

Have a potato within reach?

 

[JohnBasedow]

T&p’s

 

[HawCory]

Are you an adult, OP?

I only ask because forgetting to check for TP before you shit is the sort of thing that children of average to below average intelligence do.

 

[Jim Grizzly]

Always wear an undershirt. Always.

 

[Dudebra]

Used the personal restroom at work for the 8 employee wing I work from in my building. These bathrooms sometimes are the last to have TP restocked, so I often bring tissues if I need to #2. I thought I just had to piss, but I dropped a deuce before remembering to look at the TP dispenser. It’s EMPTY! What is my best course of action? Help me HROT, you’re my only hope!

 

[Menace Sockeyes]

Crisis AVERTED! I hadn't been to Taco Bell in AGES, but their ridiculously long receipt did the trick. Just broke apart and added water sparingly to each piece. Thank you everyone, but special thanks to @Roy-munson and @BelemNole for starting the ball rolling on this idea, and becoming the MacGyver of workplace defecation. Now, avoiding Taco Bell might have helped me dodge this problem in the first place, but I digress.

Just now waiting for everything to dry out down there before exiting. Co-workers are probably wondering what distress I am in.

 

[Menace Sockeyes]

Ha! Not an option. It's a personal restroom. Like at one's home. So technically no "stall".

 

[Hawki97]

Dollar bills ya'll...dolla, dolla bills.

 

[Menace Sockeyes]

Dollar bills ya'll...dolla, dolla bills.

That was the last thought I had before remembering the receipt. I have flushed money down the figurative toilet, after all.

 

[Menace Sockeyes]

Are you an adult, OP?

I only ask because forgetting to check for TP before you shit is the sort of thing that children of average to below average intelligence do.

It was a rookie-level mistake. I have no good excuses here. All I can say for myself was that I am nearing the end of a long two work days.

 

[UNIowaHawk]

Are you an adult, OP?

I only ask because forgetting to check for TP before you shit is the sort of thing that children of average to below average intelligence do.

This is funny because my 3 year old had to poop yesterday and he ran across the house naked (no pics). I asked what he was doing and he said he “had to go poop and there was no TP in that bathroom” so he was going to the other. Did I mention he’s 3 and thinks he’s Spider-Man?

 

[UNIowaHawk]

Are you an adult, OP?

I only ask because forgetting to check for TP before you shit is the sort of thing that children of average to below average intelligence do.

It was a rookie-level mistake. I have no good excuses here. All I can say for myself was that I am nearing the end of a long two work days.

Wait, you pooped and haven’t wiped in two days?

 

[ggmike1992]

 

[PerkyForHerky]

This is funny because my 3 year old had to poop yesterday and he ran across the house naked (no pics). I asked what he was doing and he said he “had to go poop and there was no TP in that bathroom” so he was going to the other. Did I mention he’s 3 and thinks he’s Spider-Man?

Wow, you went there huh.

 

[UNIowaHawk]

This is funny because my 3 year old had to poop yesterday and he ran across the house naked (no pics). I asked what he was doing and he said he “had to go poop and there was no TP in that bathroom” so he was going to the other. Did I mention he’s 3 and thinks he’s Spider-Man?

Wow, you went there huh.

Covering my bases— lots of people from Florida on here these days. Didn’t want another Florida man....

 

[WisestIowan]

These are the rookie mistakes I expect from a soccer fan.

 

[Menace Sockeyes]

These are the rookie mistakes I expect from a soccer fan.

I'll pass on the lecture from the Confederate sympathizer and Trump apologist, thanks. It's easy for you to talk because you just hold it in and let the excrement gravitate up into your brain.

 

[WisestIowan]

I'll pass on the lecture from the Confederate sympathizer and Trump apologist, thanks. It's easy for you to talk because you just hold it in and let the excrement gravitate up into your brain.

 

[Joes Place]

....I think you're supposed to do what Julian Assange would do, if he were stuck in an Ecuadorian embassy and they didn't refill the TP...