stinky farts

[millah_22]

my farts are really bad tonight

Like rotten eggs

today my co-worker was telling me about his freeze-dryer he bought for $3,600. He said he freeze dried a bunch of eggs, blended them into a powder, and then vacuum sealed them. I asked why, and he said "In case I ever need an egg." I asked him why not just grab an egg from the fridge, and he said "because these last longer." I asked how long he needs to keep an egg around in case he may need one, he said the vacuum seal lasts 20 years.

That's how I found out my co-worker is a doomsday prepper.

 

[TailgateTom]

The other day I was following a truck full of workers heading to a constuction site. There were six guys in the truck, five guys were hanging their heads out of the truck and one sitting in the back seat in the middle was sitting straight up and laughing. Make me laugh all the way to work. It's funny stuff, but why would you want to torture yourself?

Everyone likes their own brand.

 

[TailgateTom]

Everyone likes their own brand.

Unrelated, I had 6 cans of Hamms and cheese balls out of the fryer last night.

 

[jasonrann]

today my co-worker was telling me about his freeze-dryer he bought for $3,600. He said he freeze dried a bunch of eggs, blended them into a powder, and then vacuum sealed them. I asked why, and he said "In case I ever need an egg." I asked him why not just grab an egg from the fridge, and he said "because these last longer." I asked how long he needs to keep an egg around in case he may need one, he said the vacuum seal lasts 20 years.

That's how I found out my co-worker is a doomsday prepper.

and a fooking weirdo.

 

[Hawksfinal4]

Gives new meaning to the phrase , “Bubble Bath”

 

[millah_22]

Unrelated, I had 6 cans of Hamms and cheese balls out of the fryer last night.

That's a lot of Hamm's for a Tuesday night, my friend.

 

[JustSayOV]

The other day I was following a truck full of workers heading to a construction site. There were six guys in the truck, five guys were hanging their heads out of the truck and one sitting in the back seat in the middle was sitting straight up and laughing. Make me laugh all the way to work. It's funny stuff, but why would you want to torture yourself?

Back in college me and some buddies went on a little road trip to meet up with some other friends that lived in the town the concert was at. Met up ahead with them ahead of time, piled into a single vehicle and headed downtown to the concert and were gonna park in a parking garage nearby.

While looking for a spot in said parking garage, with like 6+ dudes in a vehicle, we were all hit with literally the worst smell ever....like beyond a fart. I distinctly remembering saying "no way that is a fart.....has to be like a sewage leak from outside or something".....it was just beyond any fart possible (or so I thought).

Fast forward to the next morning, hung over driving back home and my one buddy pipes up randomly "yeah you know last night when we thought there was like a sewage leak or something downtown? Nah.......that was me"

To his credit, i can't believe he remained silent during the smelling of the fart with all the gagging and disbelief occurring in vehicle.

CSB i know.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

I don't discuss bowel movements with the boys here. But I swear to God they must not shit all day until school is over. They get home, and then stink the entire house up. They better get over their phobia of shitting at school.

 

[TailgateTom]

That's a lot of Hamm's for a Tuesday night, my friend.

I don't think any amount of Hamm's is too much, tbh!

 

[JustSayOV]

I don't think any amount of Hamm's is too much, tbh!

 

[hawksense]

Unrelated, I had 6 cans of Hamms and cheese balls out of the fryer last night.

How is that unrelated?

 

[TailgateTom]

How is that unrelated?

 

[torbee]

You ever have farts that smell so bad they literally gross yourself out?

I have that issue.

I made myself throw up in the shower one morning after a night of Hamm's beer and braunshweiger.

 

[millah_22]

 

[millah_22]

 

[Thunderlips71]

I made my wife vomit about two weeks ago with my sewage ass. As soon as we pulled into the driveway she jumped out and heaved in the grass.

Our first Boston Terrier used to burrow under the covers and I flushed him out with a putrid fart. He puked in my wife’s hair. She was not pleased.

 

[Jan Itor]

Not possible. You sound like a pussy.