The Empty Nest Phase of Marriage

[LuteHawk]

The uniqueness of this phase is the profound adjustment
in parental and spouse roles. There are 2 causes of stress.

1. When children leave home, they remove the buffer which
the couple may have used to avoid each other's deepest
needs. If the marriage revolved totally around the children
this is when the marriage is really tested.

2. The aging parents of the couple may put a strain on the
financial and emotional resources of the family. Death of
parents stir up deep feelings of unresolved guilt There
are many feelings of loss in this phase.

Anybody care to comment about being an empty nester?

 

[The Tradition]

Two out, one to go. Can't wait.

 

[ICWestfan]

Kids took off the day they graduated from High School and have only been home to live during those transitions between rental units. I miss them alot but am glad they have mostly been independent of us folks. As they were raised, they knew when they left home they were adults and were to comport themselves as such.

I don't miss having them at home (they live in town) but see them enough that they aren't missed. Gives me and the Mrs plenty of alone time.

No stress here....

 

[CarolinaHawkeye]

I spend so much time with my grandson, I hardly notice.

 

[Fan In Black]

I dont have a wife anymore so it's great.

 

[JRHawk2003]

I became a part time empty nester on my own without my kids after the divorce. It sucked a lot, but I get more used to it as time goes by.

 

[cubsMDdmb]

I was 8 years from being an empty nester. Had three great kids but was already planning for my empty nest. Then came the big surprise that made me start over. He's currently asleep on my lap at 4 months old. I really thought my life was over when my wife told me the news but it's actually been a blast. I never really thought about it, but my baby will probably make the empty nest transition a lot easier.

 

[BuckRussel]

I was 8 years from being an empty nester. Had three great kids but was already planning for my empty nest. Then came the big surprise that made me start over. He's currently asleep on my lap at 4 months old. I really thought my life was over when my wife told me the news but it's actually been a blast. I never really thought about it, but my baby will probably make the empty nest transition a lot easier.

 

[artradley]

First child went off to college two years ago. Other one just has a couple of years left. It's already too quiet around the house, but I'm sure we'll adjust.

Biggest concern is hoping they settle down within a few hour drive.

 

[unsubstantiated]

I worried about my parents when my youngest sister left the house. They were finally in a good financial position and were now free of the stress of raising children. Great, right? Well, for 28 years they HAD to work together to feed the kids, raise them right, keep from losing the farm, working two jobs, etc., etc. They were always pulling in the same direction. They never had to even worry about what they would do for leisure if they could. Then all of a sudden they each had time to be their own person, explore what they EACH wanted. I worried that it might pull them apart. Thank goodness that was 25 years ago and so far, so good.

 

[BrianNole09]

Having an empty nest sounds a lot better than living with teenagers.

 

[Herkmeister]

The uniqueness of this phase is the profound adjustment
in parental and spouse roles. There are 2 causes of stress.

1. When children leave home, they remove the buffer which
the couple may have used to avoid each other's deepest
needs. If the marriage revolved totally around the children
this is when the marriage is really tested.

2. The aging parents of the couple may put a strain on the
financial and emotional resources of the family. Death of
parents stir up deep feelings of unresolved guilt There
are many feelings of loss in this phase.

Anybody care to comment about being an empty nester?

All I can say is this: I have never loved my wife more!!! Love does change and that woman looks better to me than the day I met her. We laugh all the time and I am so thankful we hung in there to overcome the tough times. I wouldn't give her up for all the money in the world. I just love looking at her and being with her. (Ya ya ya, we don't need to get a room. We have enough rooms already.) (And no bitches, y'all ain't gonna get no pics!!!!)

 

[SoMplsHawkI]

My wife and I held off having kids for seven years before our first was born. Those years served as an adjustment period for both of us. For us there really hasn't been a 'buffer removal' when the last one left. I daresay had we had kids right away we might not be married now.

 

[thewop]

My wife and I held off having kids for seven years before our first was born. Those years served as an adjustment period for both of us. For us there really hasn't been a 'buffer removal' when the last one left. I daresay had we had kids right away we might not be married now.

My kids are still young, but we're the exact same way. Years 3-4 of marriage were the toughest for us, and I think if we'd had kids in years 1-3, it wouldn't have worked so well. With 7 years to adjust to each other before kids, I'm hopeful this saves us some trouble down the road when they're gone.

 

[Hawkeyenuts66]

After 26 years of raising kids, I'm ready for this stress. The youngest is almost 17, then it's time to get stressed out.

 

[TNK85]

Having an empty nest sounds a lot better than living with teenagers.

You prevented your parents from experiencing that until you were in your 30s. I hope you feel horrible for that

 

[jscott78]

She went away and I enjoyed that time. Now she's back. I think I will be content when she leaves for good.

The uniqueness of this phase is the profound adjustment
in parental and spouse roles. There are 2 causes of stress.

1. When children leave home, they remove the buffer which
the couple may have used to avoid each other's deepest
needs. If the marriage revolved totally around the children
this is when the marriage is really tested.

2. The aging parents of the couple may put a strain on the
financial and emotional resources of the family. Death of
parents stir up deep feelings of unresolved guilt There
are many feelings of loss in this phase.

Anybody care to comment about being an empty nester?

 

[kcoop35]

Having an empty nest sounds a lot better than living with teenagers.

This x's a million! I was just thinking about how difficult having teenagers is. We scuffle on a nightly basis with our 15 and 18 year old. Someone once told me that when they are Juniors you are like "oh I can't imagine them being out on their own", and then as Seniors you are like "get out"!

 

[SoMplsHawkI]

Having an empty nest sounds a lot better than living with female teenagers.

(Take my word for it.) FIFY

 

[LuteHawk]

When your kids go to college, you get a preview of being
an empty nesters for 9 months of the year. It breaks you
in gradually so the shock is not so great when they graduate
from college.