Back this summer, Vall Jr. and I were umpiring a youth baseball tournament. We had an Iowa City team and I was base umpire, which gave me an opportunity to interact with the fans on the first base line.
As the Iowa City team ran out to take infield, a mom stood up and held a boombox above her head (Say Anything-style) and blared "taking infield music". Now, this may shock some of my virtual friends, but I can be a bit of a smart aleck and I like to have f** with people, so I say, "Miss, have you paid the $50 entertainment fee to the tournament director? And, if not, I can take that so that you don't get into trouble."
She is very alarmed and said she had not paid.
At this point, I hear a male's voice say, "He's full of s***. He's just looking for beer money*"
It took me a second, but I realized who this was and how, I have been preparing a verbal trap for this individual. It was by a happy accident that this interlooper had walked right into my verbal trap!
My trap started with a story, "Hey, I've got a question. I grew up on Standford Avenue and we would have great summer block parties. My dad told that the highlight of the block party was after they sent the kids to bed, the adults would stay up all night and drink beer. Apparently, the five or six dads in the nieghboorhood weren't able to finish 16 gallons of beer, and Mr. Kurdelmeier would call his assistant coach for help. Within 20 minutes, the coach and a handfull of wrestlers would show up and finish the keg. My dad was always amazed because it would be 1 AM and this assistant coach would announce to the team 'well, we've had our fun, let's go work out and get this beer out of our system'.
"Because a true Irishman never lets the truth stand in the way of a good story. And since my dad is Irish, I always have to fact check his stories, so I have to ask, is any of this story true?"
And without missing a beat, the man who went 181-1 in college, cracked a wry smile and said, "Those were some block parties."
I told this story to a former Iowa Wrestler, who was well after Gable, but confirmed the attitude was to get it out of your system before you go to bed.
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* If I had gotten $50 from the lady, I don't think I would have spent it all on beer, however, some of the prices of the microbrews are outragous these days.
As the Iowa City team ran out to take infield, a mom stood up and held a boombox above her head (Say Anything-style) and blared "taking infield music". Now, this may shock some of my virtual friends, but I can be a bit of a smart aleck and I like to have f** with people, so I say, "Miss, have you paid the $50 entertainment fee to the tournament director? And, if not, I can take that so that you don't get into trouble."
She is very alarmed and said she had not paid.
At this point, I hear a male's voice say, "He's full of s***. He's just looking for beer money*"
It took me a second, but I realized who this was and how, I have been preparing a verbal trap for this individual. It was by a happy accident that this interlooper had walked right into my verbal trap!
My trap started with a story, "Hey, I've got a question. I grew up on Standford Avenue and we would have great summer block parties. My dad told that the highlight of the block party was after they sent the kids to bed, the adults would stay up all night and drink beer. Apparently, the five or six dads in the nieghboorhood weren't able to finish 16 gallons of beer, and Mr. Kurdelmeier would call his assistant coach for help. Within 20 minutes, the coach and a handfull of wrestlers would show up and finish the keg. My dad was always amazed because it would be 1 AM and this assistant coach would announce to the team 'well, we've had our fun, let's go work out and get this beer out of our system'.
"Because a true Irishman never lets the truth stand in the way of a good story. And since my dad is Irish, I always have to fact check his stories, so I have to ask, is any of this story true?"
And without missing a beat, the man who went 181-1 in college, cracked a wry smile and said, "Those were some block parties."
I told this story to a former Iowa Wrestler, who was well after Gable, but confirmed the attitude was to get it out of your system before you go to bed.
------
* If I had gotten $50 from the lady, I don't think I would have spent it all on beer, however, some of the prices of the microbrews are outragous these days.
