What's a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding?

[goldmom]

@Derekd3408 's thread on the wedding food trucks got me thinking: What's a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding? I'm talking venue, catering, entertainment, dress, everything.

Our daughter (no pics) is in her 20s and will likely get married in the next 5-10 years. I have budgeted $50K (but will tell my wife and daughter the budget is $40K).

Ten years out from now 50K is realistic for a “nice” wedding.
Spent 25K for my daughters back in 2008.
Beautiful dress, invites, save the date, church, country club reception, DJ, chauffeur, hair and makeup, flowers, bridesmaid gifts etc etc.
Marriage lasted 9 years. 🙄

 

[goldmom]

I also think that a lot depends on what part of the country you live in. In the Northeast it’s extremely expensive because it’s considered standard to have open bar, sit down very nice dinner, orchestra, elaborate cakes and flowers, etc. Church Hall weddings with punch, cake, a simpler buffet are still fine in many other parts of the US.

My parents threw us a nice wedding here in Florida which many years ago meant a champagne fountain, waiters circulating serving lots of hot hors d’oeuvres and a piano player in white tie and tails in a very nice place. My Dad came up to us at the reception and said well you two know that if you’d eloped I could have bought you a new car for what I spent on this wedding. My Mom overheard him and was not pleased with him. Nothing less than a church wedding in front of a priest!

The time of day should factor in as well because wedding “breakfasts” for a 10AM
Wedding are less expensive than anything after 7PM. And they’re just as nice.

 

[Thunderlips71]

$0

Don’t get married

 

[BrianNole777]

I also think that a lot depends on what part of the country you live in. In the Northeast it’s extremely expensive because it’s considered standard to have open bar, sit down very nice dinner, orchestra, elaborate cakes and flowers, etc. Church Hall weddings with punch, cake, a simpler buffet are still fine in many other parts of the US.

I live near Washington D.C. and $50-80K seems the average wedding cost here. It's insane, I know.

My sister (no pics) had a friend who had a reception at a country club for 300 or so people (I can't remember, I wasn't there) and they had an open bar for 5 hours.

I bet the bar bill was $15K alone.

 

[Dr. Phil Seuss]

I live near Washington D.C. and $50-80K seems the average wedding cost here. It's insane, I know.

My sister (no pics) had a friend who had a reception at a country club for 300 or so people (I can't remember, I wasn't there) and they had an open bar for 5 hours.

I bet the bar bill was $15K alone.

Yeah, my wife is from there. Nice wedding is probably $150k+ now. I went to a good 15 DMV weddings from like 2009 to 2015. Back then they were spending $100-150k on country club weddings. We’ve gone to all types of weddings in places all over the US and several destination weddings.

Most expensive was this Hedge Fund guy marrying this high roller Neuro Surgeons daughter (wife’s friend from college) at the Yale Club in Manhattan. We guessed it was a $250-300k wedding in 2012.

Did another one in Martha’s Vineyard that same year. Had a monster raw bar with a half dozen dudes shucking oysters, tuna, caviar. Had to be over $200k.

The destination weddings in the Caribbean were all really fun. Probably the cheapest for the couples. $10-15k deals.

Go into rural America and there’s a boatload of $1k weddings happening.

 

[Fan In Black]

0 dollars

 

[BrianNole777]

Yeah, my wife is from there. Nice wedding is probably $150k+ now. I went to a good 15 DMV weddings from like 2009 to 2015. Back then they were spending $100-150k on country club weddings. We’ve gone to all types of weddings in places all over the US and several destination weddings.

Most expensive was this Hedge Fund guy marrying this high roller Neuro Surgeons daughter (wife’s friend from college) at the Yale Club in Manhattan. We guessed it was a $250-300k wedding in 2012.

Did another one in Martha’s Vineyard that same year. Had a monster raw bar with a half dozen dudes shucking oysters, tuna, caviar. Had to be over $200k.

The destination weddings in the Caribbean were all really fun. Probably the cheapest for the couples. $10-15k deals.

Go into rural America and there’s a boatload of $1k weddings happening.

Nice. I'm from the Bethesda area.

My Uncle and his wife got married at the Hay Adam's Hotel in D.C. a long time ago.

It was super fancy. She's from a rich family in Chicago.

It was the worst wedding ever lol. It was dry with no booze. My Uncle's wife didn't tell anyone until the limo ride over.

I remember the sit down meal was like 3 hours long. The food was fancy and I couldn't understand what was on the menu. The soup was like cold pea soup.

The wedding sucked and I bet it cost a fortune.

CSB.

 

[Dr. Phil Seuss]

Nice. I'm from the Bethesda area.

My Uncle and his wife got married at the Hay Adam's Hotel in D.C. a long time ago.

It was super fancy. She's from a rich family in Chicago.

It was the worst wedding ever lol. It was dry with no booze. My Uncle's wife didn't tell anyone until the limo ride over.

I remember the sit down meal was like 3 hours long. The food was fancy and I couldn't understand what was on the menu. The soup was like cold pea soup.

The wedding sucked and I bet it cost a fortune.

CSB.

The Yale Club wedding shocked me and changed my worldview. My first black tie wedding. I was 30. Girls uncle had a tie dye cumber-bun and looked like Jerry Garcia, so I made conversation and we smoked a joint out on the street and then waxed intellectual in the room with all the huge paintings of Yale POTUS. Was a great wedding. Not at all pretentious. Band had like 20+ pieces. Never stopped. Probably cost $50k alone

None of the DMV weddings stood out as great. They’re all the same. Filet and crab cake at a boring country club. Always bothered me that they paid so much for such basic bitch wedding

 

[TennNole17]

tree fitty

 

[jberesford]

Your overall budget doesn't really matter. It's really based on your per guest cost. And of course local economy. I used to bartend weddings at one of the top venues in the area. I know the venue side numbers because the entire wedding package with the agenda and per item cost would be posted in the prep area and was the master blueprint all departments worked off of.

Under $40 a person was pretty no frills, $40 to $60 was upgraded, anything up to a $100 was pretty premium and anything beyond $100 came with basically every option you want as far as house decor, menu, and full premium hosted bar options.

Having attended hundreds of weddings due to a working capacity I've pretty much seen them all. One thing I can tell you if you want a nice event, hire a live music option. Many are more affordable than you think. DJs are so tacky and generic and not one single DJ wedding EVER stands out in my memory. Many live band options have though. Some small, some huge and pretty paid $10k for, but they were always a huge upgrade over DJs

 

[Obviously Oblivious]

My eldest son was married about a year ago in Austin Texas. We paid for the venue which was a century old farmstead via AirBnB, we booked it for the entire week and that included 8 rooms for guests that included family and some of the wedding party which was around $7,000. We also paid for all of the booze and bartenders, a couple of breakfast spreads on the wedding day and the morning after the event. Bride’s family paid for the wedding’s catered meal from Salt Lick BBQ, servers, DJ and the rehearsal event at a nearby microbrewery that included pizza and brews. I suspect the total spent was around $25,000 combined for 100-150 guests. I actually thought that was very reasonable for that area of the country. Affordable enough that we added another $5,000 to the wedding gift we gave them. It was a great time but certainly not over the top. You can spend as much as you want in that area, plenty of people who do I’m sure with the amount of money churning through that city.

 

[Dr. Phil Seuss]

My eldest son was married about a year ago in Austin Texas. We paid for the venue which was a century old farmstead via AirBnB, we booked it for the entire week and that included 8 rooms for guests that included family and some of the wedding party which was around $7,000. We also paid for all of the booze and bartenders, a couple of breakfast spreads on the wedding day and the morning after the event. Bride’s family paid for the wedding’s catered meal from Salt Lick BBQ, servers, DJ and the rehearsal event at a nearby microbrewery that included pizza and brews. I suspect the total spent was around $25,000 combined for 100-150 guests. I actually thought that was very reasonable for that area of the country. Affordable enough that we added another $5,000 to the wedding gift we gave them. It was a great time but certainly not over the top. You can spend as much as you want in that area, plenty of people who do I’m sure with the amount of money churning through that city.

That’s a bargain for Hill Country. Finding your own venue and not being forced into a gauntlet of price gouging vendors giving kickbacks to the venue owners is how to do it.

 

[goldmom]

My eldest son was married about a year ago in Austin Texas. We paid for the venue which was a century old farmstead via AirBnB, we booked it for the entire week and that included 8 rooms for guests that included family and some of the wedding party which was around $7,000. We also paid for all of the booze and bartenders, a couple of breakfast spreads on the wedding day and the morning after the event. Bride’s family paid for the wedding’s catered meal from Salt Lick BBQ, servers, DJ and the rehearsal event at a nearby microbrewery that included pizza and brews. I suspect the total spent was around $25,000 combined for 100-150 guests. I actually thought that was very reasonable for that area of the country. Affordable enough that we added another $5,000 to the wedding gift we gave them. It was a great time but certainly not over the top. You can spend as much as you want in that area, plenty of people who do I’m sure with the amount of money churning through that city.

I’m a fan of your choices since my favorite BBQ place in the entire country is Salt Lick BBQ.
Old barn weddings are huge right now here in NE Florida.
No pic daughter is in the catering business and she says they’re the #1 favorite venue.

 

[NDallasRuss]

How much goes a Justice of the Peace cost? That's my number.

I'm not sure we can get into a venue here for under $10K.

I think the wedding venue is another huge scam in the wedding industry. There are a ton of good public/accessible places to have a wedding that won't cost you much of anything, let alone >$10k.

When I got married we had the wedding at an outdoor amphitheater the was in the town where I lived. It was a beautiful place surrounded by a field and trees, and it didn't cost us anything. We had the reception at a pavilion at the lake/state park where we lived - also free, and right near the water. Both locations were nicer/prettier than some of the professional venues that I've been to.

The officiant was the JOP, who was also a family friend from church, whose kids I babysat growing up, so that didn't cost anything either.

For the food, my wife's family friends gave us a really nice high-end barbeque grill for a wedding present. We got a bunch of meat and other food and had a big cookout for the reception. The only thing we really went all-in on was the wedding cake, which was nice.

In the end, everyone had an absolute blast - including me and the wife - which is often not the case with larger, expensive weddings where there's a script and the bride and groom have to be ushered all over the place for photos, reception line, toasts, etc. All-in the wedding was less than $2,500, and we wouldn't have changed anything.

 

[NDallasRuss]

Bride’s family paid for the wedding’s catered meal from Salt Lick BBQ...

Oh man, that would be worth whatever it cost! I like Salt Lick's bbq a lot.

 

[TexSkills]

My wife and I got married in 2012 and spent just under 20K. Her dad set aside $35K for each of his three daughters and said we could keep whatever we didn't spend.

Our reception was at the Terrace Suite at Everbank Stadium. It was a hell of a lot cheaper than a country club and the food was better. IIRC, it was half the price of the quotes we got from other venues. We had a sit-down dinner, an open bar and a DJ for the entire reception.

She found a dress for $750 which, to this day, I still can't believe.

 

[HawkMachine]

I'm going with the < $10k.

I'd rather go simple and write them a check for a future down payment on a house or something.

WASTE.OF.MONEY

 

[millah_22]

Photographer and flowers are the biggest waste of money in a wedding.

how often do you bust out wedding albums? Never.

I think a good photographer is the only thing worth really spending money on. The day is a blur, and it's nice to have good photos.

We went real frugal on our wedding. Found a nice barn shelter in the middle of the Oregon range, only had 85 guests and worked the cost down to about $12/plate. Spent a touch over $10k.

Our biggest expenses were caterer, photographer, and venue in that order.

 

[millah_22]

$15k, most of which is going to food and the venue.

Where people get robbed on prices is 1) overpaying for dress/tuxes and 2) hiring the most expensive photographers and DJ’s.

For that second point, the trick is to find a friend that does that stuff as a hobby and not a full time job, assuming they can give you a reference or two.

Maybe. That's how you end up with bad pics you don't like.

 

[SB_SB]

Two months ago, $60,000.

 

[artradley]

My son just got married in October near Annapolis. Total cost, including reception, rehearsal dinner, dress, etc for about 80 guests was about $40k. About twice what they originally budgeted.

 

[JasonTAlexanderJR]

$50k for a childs wedding? Wow.

Then they’re divorced in 5 years,

 

[sober_teacher]

My wife and I got married in 2012 and spent just under 20K. Her dad set aside $35K for each of his three daughters and said we could keep whatever we didn't spend.

Our reception was at the Terrace Suite at Everbank Stadium. It was a hell of a lot cheaper than a country club and the food was better. IIRC, it was half the price of the quotes we got from other venues. We had a sit-down dinner, an open bar and a DJ for the entire reception.

She found a dress for $750 which, to this day, I still can't believe.

Based on the snippets of reality bridal shop shows, that’s incredible.

Did you ever go to her to pick lottery numbers based on her ability to beat the odds?

 

[DPUboiler]

A standard midwest wedding these days is going to cost you $50k. That's a reception hall, 300 guests, food and open bar. No frills really. Want something fancy like a barn venue and nicer food, will go up. Don't have an open bar and cost goes way down. But that's what you are looking at in the midwest.

 

[millah_22]

For a long time I thought weddings were overpriced, until we had ours. Even when you try to cut corners, DIY, go frugal, there's just a lot of moving parts that add up.

We had a friend's band play for about 2 hours, they did a ton of cover songs of peoples favorites. Then when they were done they let us plug an ipod into their sound sytem and we ran a Spotify playlist. Way cheaper than a DJ and having a friend involved was fun.

We found a beautiful area at a county nature area with a tall tree. We draped a big white cloth from the lowest branch and rented about 100 chairs and did the ceremony right outside barn venue.

We spent A LOT on our photographer. She did everything in film. She had 20 years experience. Our photos are insane and they're hanging all over our house.

We didn't need a lot of flowers since it was all outside, so we only had to do table settings and such. We had a florist from the middle of nowhere cut wild sunflower. They were almost late because she had to milk her cow.

We asked all the groomsmen to wear a navy suit and the bridesmaids to wear a navy dress. If they didn't have one, we floated them an allowance to get something. It looked way nicer than ill-fitting rentals.

We got a couple kegs from a local brewery and a few cases of wine and hired a couple bartenders for about 5 hours. Paid them both $100+tips.

We did chicken and waffles for dinner, and a friend gifted us a cake. We did a ton of donuts from a local place instead of sheet cakes. Then at about 9pm we had a bunch of pizzas delivered.

It can be done frugally (not cheap) and tbh that was one of the most fun nights of my life. Total cost in 2017 was about $10,500. Much more fun than buying a furniture set.

 

[Bulldogs1974]

@Derekd3408 's thread on the wedding food trucks got me thinking: What's a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding? I'm talking venue, catering, entertainment, dress, everything.

Our daughter (no pics) is in her 20s and will likely get married in the next 5-10 years. I have budgeted $50K (but will tell my wife and daughter the budget is $40K).

How I would have the conversation with my daughter.
Look honey we are going to have a great party for one night of you life for $50k or given market history you can have $500k in 30 years.

If you can afford that, more power to you.

 

[TexSkills]

Based on the snippets of reality bridal shop shows, that’s incredible.

Did you ever go to her to pick lottery numbers based on her ability to beat the odds?

No but I should 😆

She's an extremely indecisive person so it was amazing she picked one out that quickly and at that price point. I do remember it was at David's Bridal. She takes longer to order off a menu at a restaurant.

 

[Bulldogs1974]

I think a good photographer is the only thing worth really spending money on. The day is a blur, and it's nice to have good photos.

We went real frugal on our wedding. Found a nice barn shelter in the middle of the Oregon range, only had 85 guests and worked the cost down to about $12/plate. Spent a touch over $10k.

Our biggest expenses were caterer, photographer, and venue in that order.

this is reasonable.

 

[Obviously Oblivious]

Oh man, that would be worth whatever it cost! I like Salt Lick's bbq a lot.

I ate brisket nearly every meal after the wedding for about two days then realized there was still about still ten pounds left over the night before we started driving home. I wrapped it up tight in foil, froze it overnight and transported it home on ice in a styrofoam cooler. Damn that was some great brisket. Absolutely no way I was tossing it out.

 

[NDallasRuss]

I ate brisket nearly every meal after the wedding for about two days then realized there was still about still ten pounds left over the night before we started driving home. I wrapped it up tight in foil, froze it overnight and transported it home on ice in a styrofoam cooler. Damn that was some great brisket. Absolutely no way I was tossing it out.

That sounds terrific!!

Last Spring Break the daughter and I went down and around the Hill Country and I took her to Salt Lick for lunch. She'd never been before. I don't have a reason to go there very often, but when I do I'm really glad!

 

[SB_SB]

$50k for a childs wedding? Wow.

Then they’re divorced in 5 years,

That's a whole other thread, the cost of a divorce.

 

[Dr. Phil Seuss]

How I would have the conversation with my daughter.
Look honey we are going to have a great party for one night of you life for $50k or given market history you can have $500k in 30 years.

If you can afford that, more power to you.

I approach every conversation with my wife life this and she doesn’t care. Women are illogical, well, most of them are.

 

[ICWestfan]

I have no idea how much our wedding cost but do remember my folks and the in-laws sitting us down and offering us $6K to elope and use for a down payment on a house (yes, it's been that long). I left it up to the no pic and she chose the traditional wedding.

Question for the Chicago folks- do they still do the reception venue thing where you have a 7 course sit down dinner with open bar followed by a band?

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

I'm going with the < $10k.

I'd rather go simple and write them a check for a future down payment on a house or something.

WASTE.OF.MONEY

Agreed! We were in the other thread talking about why some people live paycheck to paycheck…

I think my wedding was under $5k in the 90s. Still married nearly 30 years later.

 

[TarponSpringsNole]

My wife spent about $600 on her dress (her 22-year-old niece "had" to spend over $2k on her's). The bridesmaid/best man dresses were under $100.

left = made of honor
right = my best "man" (yes, 5 months pregnant--not mine)

$600 bucks gets a decent dress, IMO.

Your wife is beautiful. Has me really curious how handsome you might be. My DM is open.

 

[Whiskeydeltadeltatango]

It's less than 20k. If you find yourselves going over that, you have also probably justified why the kegs REALLY need to be craft beer for the reception.



It's dumb how expensive they are, and it's dumb how much people think shit nobody will remember matters.

You are throwing a party, the marriage happens in a boring room downtown when people sign papers.

 

[alaskanseminole]

Your wife is beautiful. Has me really curious how handsome you might be. My DM is open.

I'm self-aware knowing I out-kicked my coverage.

 

[Thunderlips71]

What’s the old saying - “A hooker a week is cheaper than a wife for life”?

 

[HawkMachine]

Your wife is beautiful. Has me really curious how handsome you might be. My DM is open.