Basketball dad advice needed

[InsaneHawkJJP]

My son has been the starting PG since he started playing organized BB in fourth grade. He tore his labrum this past summer playing AAU ball and had to have surgery. He missed FB season and started the BB season injured so he couldn’t go full contact in practice. He was still at every practice but was limited. He couldn’t play the first two weeks of the season but was medically cleared almost a month ago. He’s gotten very sporadic minutes since he was cleared and hasn’t been given the opportunity to showcase his talents in my opinion. It’s been very frustrating for him obviously and I think he’s losing some confidence. His teammates are very supportive and know he should be playing more but he’s not getting any minutes. I know his coaches and am having a really hard time not saying something to them. I want to politely ask what he can do to get more minutes but don’t want to be that dad.
What do I do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[SolarHawk]

My son has been the starting PG since he started playing organized BB in fourth grade. He tore his labrum this past summer playing AAU ball and had to have surgery. He missed FB season and started the BB season injured so he couldn’t go full contact in practice. He was still at every practice but was limited. He couldn’t play the first two weeks of the season but was medically cleared almost a month ago. He’s gotten very sporadic minutes since he was cleared and hasn’t been given the opportunity to showcase his talents in my opinion. It’s been very frustrating for him obviously and I think he’s losing some confidence. His teammates are very supportive and know he should be playing more but he’s not getting any minutes. I know his coaches and am having a really hard time not saying something to them. I want to politely ask what he can do to get more minutes but don’t want to be that dad.
What do I do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Why does he deserve more minutes? Because he started before his injury? Because his friends say so? Dude, I may be wrong, but this sounds like classic “my son is the best and coach is dumb” type shit.

 

[Huey Grey]

Why's he still doing sports? If it's screwing up his body maybe he'd be better off saving him the grief and try something else.

 

[Bro D]

My son has been the starting PG since he started playing organized BB in fourth grade. He tore his labrum this past summer playing AAU ball and had to have surgery. He missed FB season and started the BB season injured so he couldn’t go full contact in practice. He was still at every practice but was limited. He couldn’t play the first two weeks of the season but was medically cleared almost a month ago. He’s gotten very sporadic minutes since he was cleared and hasn’t been given the opportunity to showcase his talents in my opinion. It’s been very frustrating for him obviously and I think he’s losing some confidence. His teammates are very supportive and know he should be playing more but he’s not getting any minutes. I know his coaches and am having a really hard time not saying something to them. I want to politely ask what he can do to get more minutes but don’t want to be that dad.
What do I do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

What year is he?

 

[RagnarLothbrok]

My son has been the starting PG since he started playing organized BB in fourth grade. He tore his labrum this past summer playing AAU ball and had to have surgery. He missed FB season and started the BB season injured so he couldn’t go full contact in practice. He was still at every practice but was limited. He couldn’t play the first two weeks of the season but was medically cleared almost a month ago. He’s gotten very sporadic minutes since he was cleared and hasn’t been given the opportunity to showcase his talents in my opinion. It’s been very frustrating for him obviously and I think he’s losing some confidence. His teammates are very supportive and know he should be playing more but he’s not getting any minutes. I know his coaches and am having a really hard time not saying something to them. I want to politely ask what he can do to get more minutes but don’t want to be that dad.
What do I do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

You could frame it in terms of how your son is doing with showing any signs of lingering issues from the injury. Make it about wanting to ensure he’s physically okay. If the coach says your son seems fine and without issue, segue to “Oh, so you think he might be okay then to start playing more minutes?”

Otherwise, leave it alone. Let your son fight to earn his position back.

 

[Tom Paris]

My son has been the starting PG since he started playing organized BB in fourth grade. He tore his labrum this past summer playing AAU ball and had to have surgery. He missed FB season and started the BB season injured so he couldn’t go full contact in practice. He was still at every practice but was limited. He couldn’t play the first two weeks of the season but was medically cleared almost a month ago. He’s gotten very sporadic minutes since he was cleared and hasn’t been given the opportunity to showcase his talents in my opinion. It’s been very frustrating for him obviously and I think he’s losing some confidence. His teammates are very supportive and know he should be playing more but he’s not getting any minutes. I know his coaches and am having a really hard time not saying something to them. I want to politely ask what he can do to get more minutes but don’t want to be that dad.
What do I do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

He needs to talk to the coaches first. “What am I not doing?” “What do you need from me to increase my PT?” THEN, if you don’t like the answers feel free to initiate a meeting so you’re all on the same page. Do NOT mention another player. My advice coming from someone, me, who has coached high school basketball since the late 1990s.
Make sure they aren’t bullshitting you at that point. “Is my son NOT doing what you’re asking of him? He tells me this…am I understanding him correctly?”

 

[Bro D]

Why does he deserve more minutes? Because he started before his injury? Because his friends say so? Dude, I may be wrong, but this sounds like classic “my son is the best and coach is dumb” type shit.

Why's he still doing sports? If it's screwing up his body maybe he'd be better off saving him the grief and try something else.

You guys are totally sweet

 

[Igor Stravinsky10]

You could frame it in terms of how your son is doing with showing any signs of lingering issues from the injury. Make it about wanting to ensure he’s physically okay. If the coach says your son seems fine and without issue, segue to “Oh, so you think he might be okay then to start playing more minutes?”

Otherwise, leave it alone. Let your son fight to earn his position back.

Great advice here

 

[millah_22]

Bring it up to the coaches in the hallway at halftime

 

[BioHawk]

I don't know man. Without knowing anything about what's going on all I can say is tell your son that if he wants more playing time he needs to show the coach why he needs more playing time in practice and then be ready when he gets minutes in the game. Given his injury he probably isn't back to full speed yet either. He might be cleared to play, but that doesn't mean he's back at full strength. Injuries suck.

Edit: Other's in this thread have given much better advice than me on this one.

 

[Bearhawk0505]

How many kids are on the team? I wouldn’t say anything to the coaches, as they are volunteering a lot of time coaching your kid. Encourage your to play his hardest when he gets minutes. Good defense is a great way to get minutes. The key to youth sports is finding a good spot in which they get to play and develop, it isn’t all about winning. If there are a lot of kids on the team, find a few more and break into 2 teams so everyone plays a lot.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

Why does he deserve more minutes? Because he started before his injury? Because his friends say so? Dude, I may be wrong, but this sounds like classic “my son is the best and coach is dumb” type shit.

I get the bolded part, and was reluctant to post because of it, but I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ve had multiple parents ask why he’s not getting more minutes. It’s just a frustrating situation.

 

[millah_22]

I get the bolded part, and was reluctant to post because of it, but I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ve had multiple parents ask why he’s not getting more minutes. It’s just a frustrating situation.

Does your son have nudes of the coaches wife? Could be 1 reason. And if he does, can he share them?

 

[stanzithemanzi12]

Coaches usually want to win, and they will play the best mixture of players they see fit to win.

 

[stickman80]

We need more info...starting with pics of your son's mother and any sisters.

Yes this is important.....it may be useful in more playtime.

 

[millah_22]

Also pics of other moms that say he should be playing

 

[Bearhawk0505]

Coaches usually want to win, and they will play the best mixture of players they see fit to win.

Not always the case in youth sports. Sometimes parent coaches can favor their own kids in regards to playing time/position. I have been fortunate that hasn’t happened with my kid’s teams, but I have witnessed plenty of it on other teams.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

How many kids are on the team? I wouldn’t say anything to the coaches, as they are volunteering a lot of time coaching your kid. Encourage your to play his hardest when he gets minutes. Good defense is a great way to get minutes. The key to youth sports is finding a good spot in which they get to play and develop, it isn’t all about winning. If there are a lot of kids on the team, find a few more and break into 2 teams so everyone plays a lot.

There are a lot of kids on the team but the coaches have only been playing about 10 kids regularly. Two juniors, and the rest sophomores like my son. One junior definitely deserves to start but the other one is a turnover machine and should get limited minutes.
I know he busts his ass in practice because I’ve always preached that to him. As far as defense goes, that’s one of his strengths. He’s also a good 3 point shooter. It just doesn’t make sense and I’m finding it hard to keep biting my tongue.

 

[Bro D]

There are a lot of kids on the team but the coaches have only been playing about 10 kids regularly. Two juniors, and the rest sophomores like my son. One junior definitely deserves to start but the other one is a turnover machine and should get limited minutes.
I know he busts his ass in practice because I’ve always preached that to him. As far as defense goes, that’s one of his strengths. He’s also a good 3 point shooter. It just doesn’t make sense and I’m finding it hard to keep biting my tongue.

My freshman year i barely played. The coach was an ass and played favorites because of the more vocal parents. I know it drove my dad nuts but he didn't say anything as he didn't want to be that guy. Soph coach didn't play those games and played me a lot. The guy who's minutes I took quit the following year. /csb

I say let it play out but that's easy for me to say

 

[stanzithemanzi12]

Not always the case in youth sports. Sometimes parent coaches can favor their own kids in regards to playing time/position. I have been fortunate that hasn’t happened with my kid’s teams, but I have witnessed plenty of it on other teams.

Yes, that would be the one exception.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

He needs to talk to the coaches first. “What am I not doing?” “What do you need from me to increase my PT?” THEN, if you don’t like the answers feel free to initiate a meeting so you’re all on the same page. Do NOT mention another player. My advice coming from someone, me, who has coached high school basketball since the late 1990s.
Make sure they aren’t bullshitting you at that point. “Is my son NOT doing what you’re asking of him? He tells me this…am I understanding him correctly?”

Thanks for the advice and that’s pretty much what I told him after his game today. He has a good relationship with his freshman coach who is an assistant. I told my son to ask him what he can do to earn more playing time. I’ll give it a couple more weeks before I inquire for myself.

 

[artradley]

Why does he deserve more minutes? Because he started before his injury? Because his friends say so? Dude, I may be wrong, but this sounds like classic “my son is the best and coach is dumb” type shit.

To be fair, there are a lot of bad coaches.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

I feel like I should add that his coach is a fvcking ISU fan.

 

[SolarHawk]

To be fair, there are a lot of bad coaches.

I’m sure, but it’s a thankless job at that level.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

Does your son have nudes of the coaches wife? Could be 1 reason. And if he does, can he share them?

I wish he did, she’s pretty hot.

 

[artradley]

I’m sure, but it’s a thankless job at that level.

It’s HS, isn’t it? It doesn’t pay much, but at my HS and my children’s high school, coaches were treated like celebrities.

 

[millah_22]

My freshman year i barely played. The coach was an ass and played favorites because of the more vocal parents. I know it drove my dad nuts but he didn't say anything as he didn't want to be that guy. Soph coach didn't play those games and played me a lot. The guy who's minutes I took quit the following year. /csb

I say let it play out but that's easy for me to say

My sophomore year I was bitching to my mom about not starting in baseball. She told me "maybe you should hit better?"

Wtf mom? I took it a little more serious. Started my Jr year and finished batting like .390 my senior year.

 

[SolarHawk]

It’s HS, isn’t it? It doesn’t pay much, but at my HS and my children’s high school, coaches were treated like celebrities.

Uh, ok…..I don’t know where you live but if coaching HS ball makes you a big deal you probably live in the sticks lol. No offense.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

It’s HS, isn’t it? It doesn’t pay much, but at my HS and my children’s high school, coaches were treated like celebrities.

Yeah it’s HS. I wouldn’t say his JV coach is very popular. I’m not claiming to know more than any of the coaches either, it’s just confusing to me. It’s not like the other kids have grown by leaps and bounds.

 

[QChawks]

As a middle school basketball coach we have different reasons for minutes. Although once over 10 years old I think the player needs to address the coach directly not the parent.

In fact, just last week, one of the sixth graders asked to talk to me. I could tell he was really nervous, but he asked why he wasn’t getting in until late in the game. I told him it’s because he’s having a really tough time remembering the plays and he gets a lot of lane violation calls.

He respected my advice, and it was a good short five minute talk.

Just today, I tried getting him in earlier and he made the same mistakes. When I took him out, he came right over to me and said I know exactly what I did Coach. I’ll do better next time.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

As a middle school basketball coach we have different reasons for minutes. Although once over 10 years old I think the player needs to address the coach directly not the parent.

In fact, just last week, one of the sixth graders asked to talk to me. I could tell he was really nervous, but he asked why he wasn’t getting in until late in the game. I told him it’s because he’s having a really tough time remembering the plays and he gets a lot of lane violation calls.

He respected my advice, and it was a good short five minute talk.

Just today, I tried getting him in earlier and he made the same mistakes. When I took him out, he came right over to me and said I know exactly what I did Coach. I’ll do better next time.

I wish it was that simple. I told him to talk to his coaches. I’ve told him to keep his head up, have a good attitude and be a good teammate. The only logical reason I can come up with is that his coach doesn’t think he’s fully recovered from the injury.

I appreciate everyone’s advice!

 

[millah_22]

I wish it was that simple. I told him to talk to his coaches. I’ve told him to keep his head up, have a good attitude and be a good teammate. The only logical reason I can come up with is that his coach doesn’t think he’s fully recovered from the injury.

I appreciate everyone’s advice!

Sounds like hobt needs to have a talk with your coach, then

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

Sounds like hobt needs to have a talk with your coach, then

I’m all for that. He lives at 123 Fake St. in Decorah. Let’s give it a couple weeks though.

 

[goldmom]

Coaches usually want to win, and they will play the best mixture of players they see fit to win.

Not always the case. For several reasons.

 

[SolarHawk]

I’m all for that. He lives at 123 Fake St. in Decorah. Let’s give it a couple weeks though.

Fake St.? Is that Italian?

 

[goldmom]

Uh, ok…..I don’t know where you live but if coaching HS ball makes you a big deal you probably live in the sticks lol. No offense.

Unless you live in Texas. Some major league a-holes in high school coaching.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

Fake St.? Is that Italian?

It’s a Simpsons reference

 

[goldmom]

As a middle school basketball coach we have different reasons for minutes. Although once over 10 years old I think the player needs to address the coach directly not the parent.

In fact, just last week, one of the sixth graders asked to talk to me. I could tell he was really nervous, but he asked why he wasn’t getting in until late in the game. I told him it’s because he’s having a really tough time remembering the plays and he gets a lot of lane violation calls.

He respected my advice, and it was a good short five minute talk.

Just today, I tried getting him in earlier and he made the same mistakes. When I took him out, he came right over to me and said I know exactly what I did Coach. I’ll do better next time.

He sounds like a good kid regardless.

 

[TunzaHawk]

There are a lot of kids on the team but the coaches have only been playing about 10 kids regularly. Two juniors, and the rest sophomores like my son. One junior definitely deserves to start but the other one is a turnover machine and should get limited minutes.
I know he busts his ass in practice because I’ve always preached that to him. As far as defense goes, that’s one of his strengths. He’s also a good 3 point shooter. It just doesn’t make sense and I’m finding it hard to keep biting my tongue.

10 or more kids on a AAU team is too many for playing time to be meaningful to everyone. 9 is the ideal number.

 

[InsaneHawkJJP]

10 or more kids on a AAU team is too many for playing time to be meaningful to everyone. 9 is the ideal number.

It’s his HS JV team. He’s a sophomore. There were only 8 kids on his AAU team and he got plenty of playing time. A couple of those kids are starting for the varsity team at CR Prairie as sophomores. That’s one of the things that’s so frustrating because we know he has the talent.