Basketball dad advice needed
- Thread starter InsaneHawkJJP
- Start date
Terrible advice. Instead wait until after the game and then try to block his car as he's leaving. He'll drive right up to you.
OP mentioned defense was a strength with his son, so he is disqualified from receiving any attention from Fran.
As another hs coach, you already got all the advice I would have said. His responsibility to talk to the coach. The AD in the thread is also right on parents saying they don't know why your kid wouldn't be playing. We have an issue that's similar but parents are telling me they awkwardly just agree that another kid should get pt but don't REALLY believe they should. They just wanted to make the parent feel better.
I'm not saying that's exactly the case with you but it's possible. Also not saying you are doing this but the more parents talk about other kids in their roles, the more divided things get, the more coaches get angry.
Another thought I had but don't know if it's possible. Does Decorah have a Sophomore team? We have varsity, JV, Soph, fresh A, fresh B so I'm not sure that's doable for everyone. I would maybe have him ask if he can get minutes there. If he plays really well it could be a way back up.
I'm not saying that's exactly the case with you but it's possible. Also not saying you are doing this but the more parents talk about other kids in their roles, the more divided things get, the more coaches get angry.
Another thought I had but don't know if it's possible. Does Decorah have a Sophomore team? We have varsity, JV, Soph, fresh A, fresh B so I'm not sure that's doable for everyone. I would maybe have him ask if he can get minutes there. If he plays really well it could be a way back up.
So my son started out the season recovering from labrum surgery and was out the first couple weeks, non contact practice only. It was then that a couple of the parents asked when he’d be ready to go because they felt the team would be better once he was back. I have NOT started any conversations with other parents about my son getting more playing time, just to clear things up.
In Decorah we have Freshman, JV and varsity. Two, sometimes three of the starters on JV are juniors. That may be the coaches reason for playing time and for who starts. Seniority over talent, I don’t really know.
My son’s playing time has gone up in the last few games so like I said before, I was probably overreacting. They play CR Prairie tonight which will be a hell of a test. A couple of my son’s AAU teammates play on the varsity team as sophomores with one starting.
Thanks again to everyone for the thoughtful responses.
Youth sports can be so fun and awesome and frustrating and exhausting at the same time. As hard as it is on you op, this is a great life lesson for your kiddo. It’s going to burn you up inside, but let him sort through it and figure it out for himself. It will pay huge dividends for him for the rest of his life. You can’t fix everything for them anymore.
My son just went through something similar except it was his senior varsity season. Spent the entire last 2/3 of his junior season as a starter playing 70% of the game. Figured he would be a shoe in starter. First 2 games of season he played a total of like 30 out of 160 minutes while a couple sophomores that had no business starting at this level were getting all the minutes. My son went and talked to the coach. This carried on for another 3 games but to a much lesser extent. Like 40-50 minutes a game but still not starting but at least he was back in his normal position. We went 0-5 during this stretch and it was infuriating.
Coach finally pulled his head out and started playing people in their right spots. My son maybe sat a total of 30 minutes the rest of the season and we went 7-4 during that time but we’re far too out of it to make state. I still have no clue what the coach was thinking. Maybe just trying to get some younger kids pt. Trying to figure out lineups? Really no clue. He was fired 1 week after the season though.
I share this because it ****ing sucked as a father that watched my kid cry a couple times after the first couple games. But I had to stand back and let him figure it out. He did and I was so proud of him for his resilience and perseverance. I never said one word to the coach about it. He handled it himself. This will serve him well for all the curve balls life will throw at him.
My son just went through something similar except it was his senior varsity season. Spent the entire last 2/3 of his junior season as a starter playing 70% of the game. Figured he would be a shoe in starter. First 2 games of season he played a total of like 30 out of 160 minutes while a couple sophomores that had no business starting at this level were getting all the minutes. My son went and talked to the coach. This carried on for another 3 games but to a much lesser extent. Like 40-50 minutes a game but still not starting but at least he was back in his normal position. We went 0-5 during this stretch and it was infuriating.
Coach finally pulled his head out and started playing people in their right spots. My son maybe sat a total of 30 minutes the rest of the season and we went 7-4 during that time but we’re far too out of it to make state. I still have no clue what the coach was thinking. Maybe just trying to get some younger kids pt. Trying to figure out lineups? Really no clue. He was fired 1 week after the season though.
I share this because it ****ing sucked as a father that watched my kid cry a couple times after the first couple games. But I had to stand back and let him figure it out. He did and I was so proud of him for his resilience and perseverance. I never said one word to the coach about it. He handled it himself. This will serve him well for all the curve balls life will throw at him.
What grade is your son? Not that it matters, but it sounds like he’s a good player. He’ll earn those minutes back
It’s sad how far athletics have fallen in Burlington. Much like Clinton. We used to say when we played IN BURLINGTON, the score was 10-0 at the tip.
Coming from a parent who has raised 3 multi sport varsity athletes, my advice is to relax. He's only a sophomore and JV is borderline intermurals at the high school level. He has plenty of time to prove himself to the varsity coaches. Griping now, as a sophomore upset about JV playing time, would likely not sit well with the varsity coach.
No, I got ya. Glad it is turning around.
Ironically, I have a very unhappy parent right now because we aren't moving their kid up. Kid has never talked to us about it but they are probably the 4th or 5th player on the team statistically and with the eyeball test. The kid is a great kid so this is a little frustrating.
A quick note and a story.
Very rarely will another parent look at you and say ‘actually Dad I am surprised that your kid gets as many minutes as he does, probably should play less’
A hall of fame coach told me how he handled his first(only) parent one on one meeting about playing time.
Welcomed the parent, started a timer so the parent could see it and when the parent asked what it was he said ‘it’s just measuring how much your kids playing time goes down based on the length of this conversation’
Parent - not a problem coach, we will have our boy practice harder, thank you for your time.
20+ years and no other parents asked for a meeting.
Very rarely will another parent look at you and say ‘actually Dad I am surprised that your kid gets as many minutes as he does, probably should play less’
A hall of fame coach told me how he handled his first(only) parent one on one meeting about playing time.
Welcomed the parent, started a timer so the parent could see it and when the parent asked what it was he said ‘it’s just measuring how much your kids playing time goes down based on the length of this conversation’
Parent - not a problem coach, we will have our boy practice harder, thank you for your time.
20+ years and no other parents asked for a meeting.
I’m guessing Larry Niemeyer:
Niemeyer told The Gazette's Jeff Linder (Change in philosophy: Niemeyer out at Jefferson) that he was told by McDonnell that he would not be offered a coaching contract for the 2012-13 school year because of "a change in philosophy in the softball program."
"What do they want to change to? Losing?" Linder quoted Niemeyer as asking.
Larry had close to 900 wins in basketball so he might qualify as a hoops coach. I just really enjoyed that quote after being let go. 😊.
And, it certainly sounds like something he or Carrol Rugland might do.
Can I get a hint? Boys or girls coach? High school I’m assuming?
So his coach is an ISU fan and another coach is a Kansas alum. Good luck 😆
Saw him play my old high school as well. Think I still have his autograph on the program from the game somewhere.
Kids will never know the joys of the old jewels skating rink. Getting pick up by Don in those sweet blue busses with his mullet flapping in the wind. LOL.
I haven’t been in there since raef bought it but I’m guessing it’s pretty cool.
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