cheese curds

[QChawks]

So hypothetically if someone was gifted a pound of fresh delicious Wisconsin cheese curds and they managed to eat the entire bag in less than 24 hours what sort of physical side effects, if any, could they expect?

asking for a friend

 

[JMNSHO]

Side effects are: fat & happy. Supposedly constipation is an effect as well, but I have eaten a crap ton of curds over 42 years with no poop problem I can recall.

 

[JohnBasedow]

I have “heard” that you will not suffer any negative side effects other than a couple pounds on the scale. Can’t confirm or deny.

 

[Tenacious E]

So hypothetically if someone was gifted a pound of fresh delicious Wisconsin cheese curds and they managed to eat the entire bag in less than 24 hours what sort of physical side effects, if any, could they expect?

asking for a friend

I have posted this before but a little known secret is to microwave a plate of cheese curds just to the point where they are starting to collapse. The heat releases a most magical flavor, especially if they were seasoned.

 

[SCHawkFan]

I have posted this before but a little known secret is to microwave a plate of cheese curds just to the point where they are starting to collapse. The heat releases a most magical flavor, especially if they were seasoned.

That is how they used to serve them in the bars in La Crosse before people started bastardizing them with breading. Warm and squeaky is the way to eat cheese curds.

 

[Tenacious E]

That is how they used to serve them in the bars in La Crosse before people started bastardizing them with breading. Warm and squeaky is the way to eat cheese curds.

I have never heard that before but yes, they do squeak a little when you chew them!*

*Edited to note you are a bastard for saying breading bastardizes cheese curds. Hand breaded fried curds (not the crappy frozen ones) are nothing short of amazing. On par with a fresh warm soft baked Bavarian pretzel with melted cheese dipping sauce.

 

[PerkyForHerky]

I look down on those of you talking about microwaving cheese curds here, but I'm willing to listen to more detail.

@Tenacious E and I generally have similar cooking concepts.

 

[Doodads and Hoohah]

I have “heard” that you will not suffer any negative side effects other than a couple pounds on the scale. Can’t confirm or deny.

He is going to gain a couple pounds after eating one pound???

 

[Tenacious E]

I look down on those of you talking about microwaving cheese curds here, but I'm willing to listen to more detail.

@Tenacious E and I generally have similar cooking concepts.

Moral gave me a like but I am actually serious. If you get the kind with either jalapeno in them, or garlic/herb, and you put them around the perimeter of a plate so that they get equal microwaves (the ones in the middle won't melt as fast as the ones on the perimeter), you microwave them for like 35 to 45 seconds. Just enough where they release the fat/oil. They are amazing that way. And yes I have a few pounds to lose.*

*edited to note I'm talking about the fresh cheese curds you get in a clear plastic bag either in the deli section or the cheese section of the grocery store. Not frozen breaded ones.

 

[JohnBasedow]

He is going to gain a couple pounds after eating one pound???

1 lb of cheese curds and 1 lb of ranch.

 

[ping72]

He is going to gain a couple pounds after eating one pound???

yes. Science.

 

[PerkyForHerky]

Moral gave me a like but I am actually serious. If you get the kind with either jalapeno in them, or garlic/herb, and you put them around the perimeter of a plate so that they get equal microwaves (the ones in the middle won't melt as fast as the ones on the perimeter), you microwave them for like 35 to 45 seconds. Just enough where they release the fat/oil. They are amazing that way. And yes I have a few pounds to lose.*

*edited to note I'm talking about the fresh cheese curds you get in a clear plastic bag either in the deli section or the cheese section of the grocery store. Not frozen breaded ones.

Where are you getting these cheese curds? I always made my own, unless they're the ones from the fair which are amazing.

 

[JMNSHO]

A true cheese curd snob would never refrigerate a curd and would only buy them at room temp. If you see a heap of curd bags on a gas station counter by the register, you know you are among enlightened people.

The microwave trick can re-animate a refrigerated curd, but it is best to use a light touch.

Fried cheese curds can be very good, but it irks me to no end when people mentally default to them when talking about cheese curds.

God I love cheese curds.

 

[Tenacious E]

Where are you getting these cheese curds? I always made my own, unless they're the ones from the fair which are amazing.

Hy-vee. In the link below for the Shullsburg curds, they even suggest microwaving for 15 seconds, although I would argue that is not long enough... They also note the squeak.

https://www.hy-vee.com/grocery/PD70...072331&sreID=0&rank=1&index=5&hash=1498656556

https://www.hy-vee.com/grocery/PD50...072331&sreID=0&rank=1&index=4&hash=1498656555

 

[Tenacious E]

A true cheese curd snob would never refrigerate a curd and would only buy them at room temp. If you see a heap of curd bags on a gas station counter by the register, you know you are among enlightened people.

The microwave trick can re-animate a refrigerated curd, but it is best to use a light touch.

Fried cheese curds can be very good, but it irks me to no end when people mentally default to them when talking about cheese curds.

God I love cheese curds.

I would quibble with needing a light touch with a microwave. I have never seen them not refrigerated and it does not sound particularly safe.

 

[JMNSHO]

I would quibble with needing a light touch with a microwave. I have never seen them not refrigerated and it does not sound particularly safe.

I will do 2 or 3 bursts of 4-6 seconds in the Wave for a loosely packed dinner plate of cold curds. I don’t like them to relax their shape at all.

As for unrefrigerated curds, I have spent the bulk of my life in curd country and this is certainly a thing. You go to the dairy and you can buy the never refrigerated ones if you’re there on curd day. The local gas stations and grocery stores will reserve a portion of their new delivery before refrigerating the rest of the shipment.

The WW Homestead Dairy in Waukon has top notch curds BTW. They make them 2-3x/wk.

 

[Tenacious E]

I will do 2 or 3 bursts of 4-6 seconds in the Wave for a loosely packed dinner plate of cold curds. I don’t like them to relax their shape at all.

As for unrefrigerated curds, I have spent the bulk of my life in curd country and this is certainly a thing. You go to the dairy and you can buy the never refrigerated ones if you’re there on curd day. The local gas stations and grocery stores will reserve a portion of their new delivery before refrigerating the rest of the shipment.

The WW Homestead Dairy in Waukon has top notch curds BTW. They make them 2-3x/wk.

I have googled this and you are correct. I would like to try a fresh curd in the wild sometime.

 

[jasonrann]

So hypothetically if someone was gifted a pound of fresh delicious Wisconsin cheese curds and they managed to eat the entire bag in less than 24 hours what sort of physical side effects, if any, could they expect?

asking for a friend

It's called choke-ass. Ts & Ps.

 

[Moral]

Moral gave me a like but I am actually serious. If you get the kind with either jalapeno in them, or garlic/herb, and you put them around the perimeter of a plate so that they get equal microwaves (the ones in the middle won't melt as fast as the ones on the perimeter), you microwave them for like 35 to 45 seconds. Just enough where they release the fat/oil. They are amazing that way. And yes I have a few pounds to lose.*

*edited to note I'm talking about the fresh cheese curds you get in a clear plastic bag either in the deli section or the cheese section of the grocery store. Not frozen breaded ones.

I actually do wave them for 30s. Pretty good stuff. I have to try to stay away from cheese curds a little because I will always crush them. I bought 5 bags about a month ago and ate them in less than a week.

 

[Tenacious E]

So hypothetically if someone was gifted a pound of fresh delicious Wisconsin cheese curds and they managed to eat the entire bag in less than 24 hours what sort of physical side effects, if any, could they expect?

asking for a friend

Thanks to you assholes I stopped by hyvee and got some curds to make myself fatter.

 

[MepoDawg#]

So hypothetically if someone was gifted a pound of fresh delicious Wisconsin cheese curds and they managed to eat the entire bag in less than 24 hours what sort of physical side effects, if any, could they expect?

asking for a friend

I’ll let you know tomorrow.

 

[Kinnick.At.Night]

The Kalona Creamery...Kalona, IA. You can buy bags of curds so fresh they're still warm. Then you can head up the street and pick up some locally made Amish cakes, cookies and beef jerky....it's all like crack.

 

[Hawkman98]

When I get burned out on regular cheese curds I buy these and toss them in 1/4 teaspoon garlic salt and 1/2 teaspoon of dill. Gives it a nice flavor.

 

[QChawks]

Update:

my friend still hasn’t pooped. Even after 3 cups of coffee this morning. He’s wondering if a laxative would be useful now?

 

[BGHAWK]

The Kalona Creamery...Kalona, IA. You can buy bags of curds so fresh they're still warm. Then you can head up the street and pick up some locally made Amish cakes, cookies and beef jerky....it's all like crack.

That sounds like the place north of Kalona, and if I am correct they stopped selling them a few years back because of regulations. If that's the place, they were absolutely the best I've ever had. I may have to make the 50+ mile trip some day soon. squeak squeak

 

[Chuck C]

That sounds like the place north of Kalona, and if I am correct they stopped selling them a few years back because of regulations. If that's the place, they were absolutely the best I've ever had. I may have to make the 50+ mile trip some day soon. squeak squeak

They opened back up in 2018. Fresh, non-refrigerated squeaky cheese is thdd Ed best.

http://kalonacreamery.com/2018/08/27/squeaky-cheese-curds/

 

[SoDakHawk]

Moral gave me a like but I am actually serious. If you get the kind with either jalapeno in them, or garlic/herb, and you put them around the perimeter of a plate so that they get equal microwaves (the ones in the middle won't melt as fast as the ones on the perimeter), you microwave them for like 35 to 45 seconds. Just enough where they release the fat/oil. They are amazing that way. And yes I have a few pounds to lose.*

*edited to note I'm talking about the fresh cheese curds you get in a clear plastic bag either in the deli section or the cheese section of the grocery store. Not frozen breaded ones.

This is true. All true.

 

[Kinnick.At.Night]

That sounds like the place north of Kalona, and if I am correct they stopped selling them a few years back because of regulations. If that's the place, they were absolutely the best I've ever had. I may have to make the 50+ mile trip some day soon. squeak squeak

Same spot. They did stop selling, briefly. They're back in business now.

 

[2bagger22]

So hypothetically if someone was gifted a pound of fresh delicious Wisconsin cheese curds and they managed to eat the entire bag in less than 24 hours what sort of physical side effects, if any, could they expect?

asking for a friend

Twice a year I have a travel day with stops in Dubuque, Lancaster, and New Glarus without a chance for a lunch. Inevitably, I head back home about 2pm with only coffee in my system and proceed to wash a bag of cheese curds down with a Mountain Dew. Sometimes it’s good to test one’s cardiac limits.