Mark Twain was right

[torbee]

Our corner of the Mississippi where it runs east-to-west does have the world's most fantastic sunsets. Both of these taken in the past week by Facebook friends of mine:

Mark Twain, writing about the sunsets seen while steamboating between Davenport and Muscatine:

"I still kept in mind a certain wonderful sunset which I witnessed when steamboating was new to me. A broad expanse of the river was turned to blood; in the middle distance the red hue brightened into gold, through which a solitary log came floating, black and conspicuous; in one place a long, slanting mark lay sparkling upon the water; in another the surface was broken by boiling, tumbling rings, that were as many-tinted as an opal; where the ruddy flush was faintest, was a smooth spot that was covered with graceful circles and radiating lines, ever so delicately traced; the shore on our left was densely wooded, and the somber shadow that fell from this forest was broken in one place by a long, ruffled trail that shone like silver; and high above the forest wall a clean-stemmed dead tree waved a single leafy bough that glowed like a flame in the unobstructed splendor that was flowing from the sun. There were graceful curves, reflected images, woody heights, soft distances; and over the whole scene, far and near, the dissolving lights drifted steadily, enriching it every passing moment with new marvels of coloring. And I remember Muscatine—still more pleasantly—for its summer sunsets. I have never seen any, on either side of the ocean, that equaled them."
- Life on the Mississippi

 

[Bulldogs1974]

quick question for you torbee....
I was discussing mark twain with my seniors the other day. Not one out of a group of 28 knew who mark twain was. When I brought this up to the English teacher, she was not concerned. I was shocked.
As a journalist, how does that sit with you?

 

[torbee]

quick question for you torbee....
I was discussing mark twain with my seniors the other day. Not one out of a group of 28 knew who mark twain was. When I brought this up to the English teacher, she was not concerned. I was shocked.
As a journalist, how does that sit with you?

Poorly.

He is arguably the greatest American novelist of all time. And certainly one of the most historic.

 

[hydro2.0]

Our corner of the Mississippi where it runs east-to-west does have the world's most fantastic sunsets. Both of these taken in the past week by Facebook friends of mine:

Mark Twain, writing about the sunsets seen while steamboating between Davenport and Muscatine:

"I still kept in mind a certain wonderful sunset which I witnessed when steamboating was new to me. A broad expanse of the river was turned to blood; in the middle distance the red hue brightened into gold, through which a solitary log came floating, black and conspicuous; in one place a long, slanting mark lay sparkling upon the water; in another the surface was broken by boiling, tumbling rings, that were as many-tinted as an opal; where the ruddy flush was faintest, was a smooth spot that was covered with graceful circles and radiating lines, ever so delicately traced; the shore on our left was densely wooded, and the somber shadow that fell from this forest was broken in one place by a long, ruffled trail that shone like silver; and high above the forest wall a clean-stemmed dead tree waved a single leafy bough that glowed like a flame in the unobstructed splendor that was flowing from the sun. There were graceful curves, reflected images, woody heights, soft distances; and over the whole scene, far and near, the dissolving lights drifted steadily, enriching it every passing moment with new marvels of coloring. And I remember Muscatine—still more pleasantly—for its summer sunsets. I have never seen any, on either side of the ocean, that equaled them."
- Life on the Mississippi

I see your Mark Twain and raise you James Joyce:

My sweet little whorish Nora... You had an arse full of farts that night, darling... big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole... I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also. Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little f*ckbird!"

 

[torbee]

I see your Mark Twain and raise you James Joyce:

My sweet little whorish Nora... You had an arse full of farts that night, darling... big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole... I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also. Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little f*ckbird!"

I've actually read every page of Ulysees.

Have no idea what it's about.

 

[ThorneStockton]

Without having a solid frame of reference, the water level doesn't look too low. Some national paper within the last several days, either the NYT or WaPo made it sound a bit more like a crisis. Too low for barge traffic was one problem.

 

[tarheelbybirth]

I've actually read every page of Ulysees.

Have no idea what it's about.

S'ok...neither did Joyce.

 

[torbee]

Without having a solid frame of reference, the water level doesn't look too low. Some national paper within the last several days, either the NYT or WaPo made it sound a bit more like a crisis. Too low for barge traffic was one problem.

It's worse below St. Louis, but we had a solid 2-days of rain last week up here that should help.

There is a navigation issue with lots of barges not being able to make it through.

 

[Bank of Hawk]

Anyone know how the name “Mark Twain” was chosen? Well I now understand that when shipping vessels floated down the Mississippi, a lead boat would have a stick or rod to measure depth of the river so the vessel wouldn’t get stuck and when they hit a low spot; they would yell “mark twain” apparently to use twain to mark a spot that was too low.

 

[Moral]

Without having a solid frame of reference, the water level doesn't look too low. Some national paper within the last several days, either the NYT or WaPo made it sound a bit more like a crisis. Too low for barge traffic was one problem.

The sewage runoff keeps it at a good level this far north.

 

[ThorneStockton]

The sewage runoff keeps it at a good level this far north.

That should also lower the freezing point, keeping the swimming hole open further into the winter.

 

[EagleHawk]

Our corner of the Mississippi where it runs east-to-west does have the world's most fantastic sunsets. Both of these taken in the past week by Facebook friends of mine:

Mark Twain, writing about the sunsets seen while steamboating between Davenport and Muscatine:

"I still kept in mind a certain wonderful sunset which I witnessed when steamboating was new to me. A broad expanse of the river was turned to blood; in the middle distance the red hue brightened into gold, through which a solitary log came floating, black and conspicuous; in one place a long, slanting mark lay sparkling upon the water; in another the surface was broken by boiling, tumbling rings, that were as many-tinted as an opal; where the ruddy flush was faintest, was a smooth spot that was covered with graceful circles and radiating lines, ever so delicately traced; the shore on our left was densely wooded, and the somber shadow that fell from this forest was broken in one place by a long, ruffled trail that shone like silver; and high above the forest wall a clean-stemmed dead tree waved a single leafy bough that glowed like a flame in the unobstructed splendor that was flowing from the sun. There were graceful curves, reflected images, woody heights, soft distances; and over the whole scene, far and near, the dissolving lights drifted steadily, enriching it every passing moment with new marvels of coloring. And I remember Muscatine—still more pleasantly—for its summer sunsets. I have never seen any, on either side of the ocean, that equaled them."
- Life on the Mississippi

Iowa, in general, has under-appreciated sunsets. Whether it is the dust from the farmers, or smoke from the west, they are usually pretty spectacular.

 

[Whatsgoingonwitgyouguys0190]

Mark Twain on OP(paraphrased)
'OP’s head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time.’

 

[QChawks]

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement."

Mark Twain

 

[torbee]

I see your Mark Twain and raise you James Joyce:

My sweet little whorish Nora... You had an arse full of farts that night, darling... big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole... I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also. Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little f*ckbird!"

Holy schnikies, I'd never read the full, unedited version! What a dirty old bastard!!!!!

A quote from Selected Letters of James Joyce

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that...

www.goodreads.com

 

[hydro2.0]

Holy schnikies, I'd never read the full, unedited version! What a dirty old bastard!!!!!

A quote from Selected Letters of James Joyce

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that...

www.goodreads.com

never read the entire version either. What a writer.

 

[joelbc1]

Poorly.

He is arguably the greatest American novelist of all time. And certainly one of the most historic.

There are "classics" that high schoolers MUST be exposed to, at all costs. Literature is not popular with most 14-17 year olds, though.....But Twain is a must......I still have nightmares thinking about "Silas Marner" (Eliot) in freshman Eng/Lit but I found "Great Expectations" (Dickens) (also Fresh Eng/Lit) painfully boring......."The Tale of Two Cities "(Dickens), I read independently and found it truly fascinating.....

 

[BelemNole]

Anyone know how the name “Mark Twain” was chosen? Well I now understand that when shipping vessels floated down the Mississippi, a lead boat would have a stick or rod to measure depth of the river so the vessel wouldn’t get stuck and when they hit a low spot; they would yell “mark twain” apparently to use twain to mark a spot that was too low.

I believe you have that wrong. Mark twain meant 12 feet deep or 'safe water.'

 

[dandh]

Anyone know how the name “Mark Twain” was chosen? Well I now understand that when shipping vessels floated down the Mississippi, a lead boat would have a stick or rod to measure depth of the river so the vessel wouldn’t get stuck and when they hit a low spot; they would yell “mark twain” apparently to use twain to mark a spot that was too low.

Twain means two, iirc, and the meaning was that it was the second mark on the sounding rope. I think it meant there was sufficient water for the steamboat.

 

[dandh]

I believe you have that wrong. Mark twain meant 12 feet deep or 'safe water.'

Yeah, two fathoms, then.

 

[torbee]

There are "classics" that high schoolers MUST be exposed to, at all costs. Literature is not popular with most 14-17 year olds, though.....But Twain is a must......I still have nightmares thinking about "Silas Marner" (Eliot) in freshman Eng/Lit but I found "Great Expectations" (Dickens) (also Fresh Eng/Lit) painfully boring......."The Tale of Two Cities "(Dickens), I read independently and found it truly fascinating.....

I re-read Great Expectations a few years ago and was amazed at how good and even funny it is.

Recommend trying it again as an adult.

 

[joelbc1]

I re-read Great Expectations a few years ago and was amazed at how good and even funny it is.

Recommend trying it again as an adult.

I find "Literotica" much more attention grabbing. I might do that Great Expectations....but when ever I hear "Silas Marner"I break into a cold sweat.........I could barely tolerate Paul Silas...and I was a huge Celtic fan!

 

[General Tso]

Our corner of the Mississippi where it runs east-to-west does have the world's most fantastic sunsets. Both of these taken in the past week by Facebook friends of mine:

Mark Twain, writing about the sunsets seen while steamboating between Davenport and Muscatine:

"I still kept in mind a certain wonderful sunset which I witnessed when steamboating was new to me. A broad expanse of the river was turned to blood; in the middle distance the red hue brightened into gold, through which a solitary log came floating, black and conspicuous; in one place a long, slanting mark lay sparkling upon the water; in another the surface was broken by boiling, tumbling rings, that were as many-tinted as an opal; where the ruddy flush was faintest, was a smooth spot that was covered with graceful circles and radiating lines, ever so delicately traced; the shore on our left was densely wooded, and the somber shadow that fell from this forest was broken in one place by a long, ruffled trail that shone like silver; and high above the forest wall a clean-stemmed dead tree waved a single leafy bough that glowed like a flame in the unobstructed splendor that was flowing from the sun. There were graceful curves, reflected images, woody heights, soft distances; and over the whole scene, far and near, the dissolving lights drifted steadily, enriching it every passing moment with new marvels of coloring. And I remember Muscatine—still more pleasantly—for its summer sunsets. I have never seen any, on either side of the ocean, that equaled them."
- Life on the Mississippi

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement."

Mark Twain

I felt the same way about Clinton, until I visited Cedar Rapids.

 

[lucas80]

quick question for you torbee....
I was discussing mark twain with my seniors the other day. Not one out of a group of 28 knew who mark twain was. When I brought this up to the English teacher, she was not concerned. I was shocked.
As a journalist, how does that sit with you?

Da fuq!

 

[JWolf74]

Had a recruiter try to lure me into a new position that was "in Mark Twain's home town!"

I normally don't respond to these texts, but I felt compelled to inform this recruiter that they literally couldn't pay me enough to live in Hannibal, MO.

Fantastic writer though.

 

[SoMplsHawkI]

Without having a solid frame of reference, the water level doesn't look too low. Some national paper within the last several days, either the NYT or WaPo made it sound a bit more like a crisis. Too low for barge traffic was one problem.

The water level is very low on the Upper Mississippi.

Mississippi River Approaches Record Low, Threatening Barge Traffic

Low water levels on the Mississippi River caused by dry weather are impacting barge shipping firms’ ability to transport construction materials and other goods. An ongoing drought in parts of the Midwest means that the situation will continue to impact the river system and shipping capacity, the...

www.enr.com

 

[torbee]

never read the entire version either. What a writer.

You know how NPR has a host read the entirety of "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens every Christmas Eve day?

I think NPR should do the same thing with THIS Joyce piece of every Bloomsday! How awesome would that be?

 

[FAUlty Gator]

Anyone know how the name “Mark Twain” was chosen? Well I now understand that when shipping vessels floated down the Mississippi, a lead boat would have a stick or rod to measure depth of the river so the vessel wouldn’t get stuck and when they hit a low spot; they would yell “mark twain” apparently to use twain to mark a spot that was too low.

Yup. Better than Samuel Langhorne Clements. Although that would be cool if someone used that as a pen name now. Damn...I've said too much!

 

[torbee]

Had a recruiter try to lure me into a new position that was "in Mark Twain's home town!"

I normally don't respond to these texts, but I felt compelled to inform this recruiter that they literally couldn't pay me enough to live in Hannibal, MO.

Fantastic writer though.

If you have the misfortune of having to live in Missouri (a fate I would only bestow upon a true enemy) there are actually many, many worse places you could land than Hannibal. Hannibal is actually quite pretty, has a nice little downtown, some nearby recreational opportunities and isn't that far from the STL metro area when you feel like better dining, sports and cultural options.

 

[SoDakHawk]

quick question for you torbee....
I was discussing mark twain with my seniors the other day. Not one out of a group of 28 knew who mark twain was. When I brought this up to the English teacher, she was not concerned. I was shocked.
As a journalist, how does that sit with you?

This is shocking to me and very concerning, both that these students don't know who Mark Twain is and, even more troubling, that an English teacher was not concerned.

Not to thread drift but this is the type of stuff that gets parents all worked up about what is being taught in schools. That said, I'll take matters into my own hands and my kids will be reading Twain, Dickens, etc. outside of school.

 

[JWolf74]

If you have the misfortune of having to live in Missouri (a fate I would only bestow upon a true enemy) there are actually many, many worse places you could land than Hannibal. Hannibal is actually quite pretty, has a nice little downtown, some nearby recreational opportunities and isn't that far from the STL metro area when you feel like better dining, sports and cultural options.

I lived in St. Louis. Even spent the night in Hannibal and done a nice little boat cruise. The Mark Twain brewery in town was ok.

Would never live there.

 

[Whatsgoingonwitgyouguys0190]

I lived in St. Louis. Even spent the night in Hannibal and done a nice little boat cruise. The Mark Twain brewery in town was ok.

Would never live there.

Wouldn’t want to be there when god finally reaches down and grabs Missouri by that silly arch and throws it right into the sun.

 

[torbee]

Had a recruiter try to lure me into a new position that was "in Mark Twain's home town!"

I normally don't respond to these texts, but I felt compelled to inform this recruiter that they literally couldn't pay me enough to live in Hannibal, MO.

Fantastic writer though.

If you have the misfortune of having to live in Missouri (a fate I would only bestow upon a true enemy) there are actually many, many worse places you could land than Hannibal. Hannibal is actually quite pretty, has a nice little downtown, some nearby recreational opportunities and isn't that far from the STL metro area when you feel like better dining, sports and cultural options.

I lived in St. Louis. Even spent the night in Hannibal and done a nice little boat cruise. The Mark Twain brewery in town was ok.

Would never live there.

Well, yeah.

I was talking about in a scenario if you were FORCED to live in Missouri. I'd have Hannibal relatively high -- up with places like KC burbs, STL burbs, Columbia and Springfield. The rest of the state is meth city redneck central casting.

 

[JWolf74]

If you have the misfortune of having to live in Missouri (a fate I would only bestow upon a true enemy) there are actually many, many worse places you could land than Hannibal. Hannibal is actually quite pretty, has a nice little downtown, some nearby recreational opportunities and isn't that far from the STL metro area when you feel like better dining, sports and cultural options.

Well, yeah.

I was talking about in a scenario if you were FORCED to live in Missouri. I'd have Hannibal relatively high -- up with places like KC burbs, STL burbs, Columbia and Springfield. The rest of the state is meth city redneck central casting.

Kirkwood was pretty solid. I trained in the west burbs. Pretty nice area.

 

[Bro D]

 

[torbee]

Rode home from work at sunset, was gorgeous.

 

[Herky T Hawk]

The end of Twain’s sunset quote is the best. Two short sentences show exactly his type of humor and how you have to read between the lines to get it.

”The sunrises are also said to be exceedingly fine. I do not know.”

 

[ConvenientParking]

My high school didn't assign Mark Twain unless it was in their freshman English course which I missed because I went to 9th grade elsewhere. We got Hawthorne (the likely inspiration for Dave Chappelle's famous "Wrap It Up" sketch). We got Arthur Miller. We got Thorton Wilder. We actually got, of all short stories, Hills Like White Elephants from Hemingway which is absolutely shocking to me to this day that we were allowed to read that one for class in my Protestant high school.

 

[torbee]

Friend of mine shot this one tonight:

 

[TheCainer]

Had a recruiter try to lure me into a new position that was "in Mark Twain's home town!"

I normally don't respond to these texts, but I felt compelled to inform this recruiter that they literally couldn't pay me enough to live in Hannibal, MO.

Fantastic writer though.

If you ever get to Hartford, CT, you should visit Mark Twain's home there. It is quite worth the visit.

His neighbor was Harriet Beecher Stowe. Her house is still there as well.