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NDallasRuss is now a Member of the Clergy

NDallasRuss

NDallasRuss

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Dec 5, 2002
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I've got a certificate and a badge that says so!

I was ordained by the Universal Life Church so I can officiate my niece's (no pic) wedding this year, and my nephew's wedding next year.

I think I'm most looking forward to holding people accountable for the various ways they've gone against the teachings of Leviticus, and offering to absolve wayward women of their past, present, and future sins.

Leviticus 19:27​

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."
 
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NDallasRuss said:
Leviticus 19:19: Keep my statutes: do not breed any of your domestic animals with others of a different species

I think it's heavily implied that we also shouldn't mate with any of our domestic animals!
Click to expand...

Ezekiel 23:20 She lusted after lovers with genitals as large as a donkey's and emissions like those of a horse. 20 That whetted her appetite for more virile, vulgar, and violent lovers - stallions obsessive in their lust.
 
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NDallasRuss said:
I've got a certificate and a badge that says so!

I was ordained by the Universal Life Church so I can officiate my niece's (no pic) wedding this year, and my nephew's wedding next year.

I think I'm most looking forward to holding people accountable for the various ways they've gone against the teachings of Leviticus, and offering to absolve wayward women of their past, present, and future sins.

Leviticus 19:27​

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."
Click to expand...
As a new conduit to God's will, can you tell me why do bad things happen to good people?
 
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NDallasRuss said:
I've got a certificate and a badge that says so!

I was ordained by the Universal Life Church so I can officiate my niece's (no pic) wedding this year, and my nephew's wedding next year.

I think I'm most looking forward to holding people accountable for the various ways they've gone against the teachings of Leviticus, and offering to absolve wayward women of their past, present, and future sins.

Leviticus 19:27​

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."
Click to expand...
Pic of wayward women?
 
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Bonerfarts said:
As a new conduit to God's will, can you tell me why do bad things happen to good people?
Click to expand...
If we're all sinners, are there really any "good" people? Maybe not; just different levels of "bad", and the saved vs non-saved.

I don't think God's into playing favorites though: Jesus was "good", and he still got the nails.
 
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ICWestfan said:
Pic of wayward women?
Click to expand...
killer-nuns-1280w.jpg
 
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JRHawk2003 said:
Ezekiel 23:20 She lusted after lovers with genitals as large as a donkey's and emissions like those of a horse. 20 That whetted her appetite for more virile, vulgar, and violent lovers - stallions obsessive in their lust.
Click to expand...
Yeah but enough about your mom, let’s talk about this whole mixing two fabrics thing.
 
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NDallasRuss said:
I've got a certificate and a badge that says so!

I was ordained by the Universal Life Church so I can officiate my niece's (no pic) wedding this year, and my nephew's wedding next year.

I think I'm most looking forward to holding people accountable for the various ways they've gone against the teachings of Leviticus, and offering to absolve wayward women of their past, present, and future sins.

Leviticus 19:27​

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."
Click to expand...
what does it say about pubes?
 
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NDallasRuss said:
I've got a certificate and a badge that says so!

I was ordained by the Universal Life Church so I can officiate my niece's (no pic) wedding this year, and my nephew's wedding next year.

I think I'm most looking forward to holding people accountable for the various ways they've gone against the teachings of Leviticus, and offering to absolve wayward women of their past, present, and future sins.

Leviticus 19:27​

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."
Click to expand...

Congrats fellow clergyman! I've been ordained for a couple decades now and performed a number of weddings over the years for friends. When I got ordained I was given the option to choose my "title" and was told it was up to me. When I requested Pope Hawki97 (man @BrianNole777 would have been jelly!) but they responded back that they couldn't do that (liars!), so Chaplain Hawki97 it is. If any of you need an exorcism of your dumbassery - let me know and I'll tell you where to send the check!
 
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Hawki97 said:
Congrats fellow clergyman! I've been ordained for a couple decades now and performed a number of weddings over the years for friends. When I got ordained I was given the option to choose my "title" and was told it was up to me. When I requested Pope Hawki97 (man @BrianNole777 would have been jelly!) but they responded back that they couldn't do that (liars!), so Chaplain Hawki97 it is. If any of you need an exorcism of your dumbassery - let me know and I'll tell you where to send the check!
Click to expand...
Since I'm moving back to Texas, I think I might specialize in blessing peoples' new fishing boats and ATVs.
 
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NDallasRuss said:
FIFY - Gonna check out my options for tax exempt status once I organize my non-profit.
Click to expand...

FWIW, I got ordained by the First Universal Life Church in the 70's. I also encountered someone in Texas trying to escape property taxes by calling it a church. It did not go well for them.
 
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Formerly Rockymtnole said:
I don’t understand why?
Is there a shortage of actual clergy?
Click to expand...
My family generally does a lot smaller, more intimate weddings. For example, when I got married we didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen - just 40-50 people we actually wanted to be there.

They both asked if I would officiate their weddings, to which I happily agreed. Neither go to specific churches on a regular basis, and asking me to do it was far preferable to asking someone with whom they didn't have a close relationship.
 
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artradley said:
FWIW, I got ordained by the First Universal Life Church in the 70's. I also encountered someone in Texas trying to escape property taxes by calling it a church. It did not go well for them.
Click to expand...
Oh yeah, I can imagine that a lot of people have tried to be their own church to try and get their house and cars tax free. Since I work with state and local governments and my certification (critical to my continued employment) depends on honesty (not getting convicted of financial crimes!) I wouldn't actually try that. Still a funny thought to have the Church of NDallasRuss as something that is actually organized and "official". :)
 
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I'll be looking for you soon on the Comprehensive Thread: It is NOT the drag queens and trans you need to be worried about... thread.


shame-game-of-thrones.gif
 
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Hawki97 said:
I personally just did it because I’m one charismatic, quick witted son of a bitch and my friend wanted me to marry them instead of some old fart in a robe. That’s all I got. Probably not an answer.
Click to expand...
Oh really? You hide it so well…😬
 
NDallasRuss said:
I've got a certificate and a badge that says so!

I was ordained by the Universal Life Church so I can officiate my niece's (no pic) wedding this year, and my nephew's wedding next year.

I think I'm most looking forward to holding people accountable for the various ways they've gone against the teachings of Leviticus, and offering to absolve wayward women of their past, present, and future sins.

Leviticus 19:27​

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."
Click to expand...
For years my buddies addressed letters and “packages” to my house, designated as the “World Headification Church”.
All was good in my head, as well as others.
Walk that path my brother. It is peaceful and relevant.
 
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