OT— Rambling Thoughts.

[Gobblin]

Hard to think of the right words to respond with here.... My heart goes out to all of those who’ve suffered the loss of any loved ones. This was extremely hard for me to read as losing my mother is one of my biggest fears... Probably the biggest. As I’ve grown up and gained perspective on what this life is and what our time here means I’ve learned that life is way too short to grieve and truly believe that when we lose someone it’s a time to celebrate them and understand that they’ve moved on to a more peaceful, loving, and understanding place. My life changed when I realized this and no longer became “afraid” of death. Get beyond love and grief and exist for the good of mankind for all we truly ever have, own, and can take with us are cherished memories.

 

[A Fist Full of Hawkeyes]

Thanks for sharing Banjo, we can all agree that cancer is a son of a bitch and no f*n at all. My father-in-law is in the final stages of his long battle with bone marrow cancer. They gave him 6 months to live.......over 3 years ago. He’s battled long and hard. (impressive fight especially since he never even wrestled!). Praying he rests comfortably in his hospice stage and goes peacefully and painlessly when the time comes.

Go Hawks!

I can relate and it's scary as hell. I married into the situation knowing it was bad, but never quite knew how bad it truly was.
As time went on I found myself being one of the primary caretakers of my father in law. There were no other men around, his wife was heartbroken, and his mother needed her help... And she lived with them!
As mortifying and surreal as it is, to be with someone as they begin to cross over, it's oddly honorable.
That in their final days, hours, minutes, they're wanting your company... My father in law was the bravest man I ever met. He ran track at Georgia Tech then proceeded to hike the Appalachian trail. He was always on the go.
He was a machine gun carrying preacher. Literally a preacher that came loaded every day.
He survived for seven years on one lung, blinded by tumors in his eyes and a detached retina. And He had liver, brain, and cancer in the one lung that remained. But that didn't stop him.

He wasn't a wrestling fan, but I knew that if he had more time, he would've been. He never understood, but that didn't stop us from watching the past two ncaa Championships. He'd even record them so I could explain what happened later on.

I sucked at wrestling, but it taught me how to contain and focus my emotions into a single vision. Six months ago during his passin, I held strong when no one else couldn't .
Then when my time came to breakdown alone I started getting more active on here for a distraction (tho when the PSU goons show up it's an unhealthy one!)

Regardless, thank you to all of you who make this community. It really is a cesspool, but there is yet some good to come from it.
I may not contribute on a daily basis, but I'm always reading.

Wrestling and the wrestling community is something no other sport will ever understand. They just don't get it.

 

[OpenWater]

Indeed, we do have more fight in us than we realize. We find a way. We have to.

I nearly lost my daughter to suicide when she was 17. The confusion, pain, and shame that I felt is indescribable. I had no experience navigating the world of mental health, illness, and therapy, but had to find a way. She is 20, and is building her life, day by day, finding a way, and family is the most important thing. Depression is a beast, and there is never an end, there is only learning how to manage and adapt.

This whole experience has taught me to live in moments. To be present. To be a human BEing. Not a human DOing. And we all have our stories. They guy sitting next to us, or the one that makes us angry, the person of whom we are envious, or seems has everything that they need. We all have our stories of heartbreak and loss. Our world needs people who will listen to the stories of others. This thread is a wonderful thing.

In these hard life moments, the really hard ones, our best is good enough. And that is what we need to do. This hive was a spot that helped me manage, the laughing, the silliness, the passion. It's all good.

 

[BanjoSaysWoof]

If we can get this post to rival the length of the Brody Grothus thread (but for the right reasons), I’ll consider my time on the internet well spent.

 

[Hkfan23]

Banjo - I will keep posting and bumping on this for the humanity that people actually understand regardless of school fandom.

 

[BanjoSaysWoof]

When I wrote this post in Feb 2020, I had no idea what was coming. But the point was to share my experience to let others know they weren’t alone. And to express gratitude for the HR life raft. In a time I was about to drown, the cesspool kept me afloat. I will always be indebted to you all for that.

earlier this month, I wasn’t sure if I should bump this. 2020 was hard. For me, all I did was my job, and play golf. Nothing else to do. I stayed safe. Luckily kept my father safe (I moved into his house so he wouldn’t be alone for a year). Not everyone was so lucky. But Now the rebuild happens.

the rebuild. That’s all I can refer to it as. The picking up the pieces, putting them back and moving forward.

last year I asked people to make new memories and remember how fragile things can be.

I don’t think anyone needs that reminder this time. But unlike your average Spencer Lee match, we made it out of the first period. Not much time left here in third, and despite leaving bloody and bruised, our hands will be raised shortly.

but I did say I wanted to use this post to inspire people to do things they may have been putting off. And so, I am bumping this thread, in honor of my late mom, to ask you to share the experiences that unite us... love.


So, to that end...

does anyone have experiences or memories they made this year for which they are grateful?

and also, this is important... caretaker grief is real. You are not alone. The weight of the world is not on your shoulders. If you need help finding resources, it’d be my honor to help.

 

[Grip220]

I’m grateful for my Family and true friends, as you get older you appreciate things more. I’m very grateful for the wrestling community! There will always be a few bad apples, but for the most part everyone here and amongst the wrestling community in a whole will keep their Integrity. We will have different thoughts on topics and stray from wrestling talk, but we can all still watch a match together! Or atleast 99% of us.

 

[BanjoSaysWoof]

I’m grateful for my Family and true friends, as you get older you appreciate things more. I’m very grateful for the wrestling community! There will always be a few bad apples, but for the most part everyone here and amongst the wrestling community in a whole will keep their Integrity. We will have different thoughts on topics and stray from wrestling talk, but we can all still watch a match together! Or atleast 99% of us.

“The older you get, the more you realize you need the people who knew you when you were young”

 

[TNTwrestle]

A couple of months after this thread my world kind of fell apart and it is still hard. It is to the point where I don't break down almost daily, but I still think of mom pretty much every day. I won't go into details again, I talked about mom earlier in this thread and discussed her passing in another thread last year. First, the NCAAs being canceled rocked my world then mom's month-long struggle with Covid, then her stroke. At least she got to come home and pass in her home of almost 70 years. Since then I've had my share of issues health-wise, but I'm mostly on the mend and looking at retiring soon. It has been a rough year, as I'm sure it has been for many of you. We go through these things and it really puts life in perspective. I've always told my family not to have weddings in March, and even told my wife if our son was born at the wrong time in March she would be on her own for the birth, but, as important as wrestling is to me, it's still God first, then family, and wrestling a close third. I hope all my friends (and not-so-friends) in the cesspool are healthy and their families are as well. Let's all hope they don't take wrestling from us again either.

 

[Grip220]

“The older you get, the more you realize you need the people who knew you when you were young”

Yes mostly

 

[Kwoodhawk]

Chief - sorry to hear about that. Hang in there champ. And for all the others that posted (thanks Banjo for starting it) thanks for sharing. As I mentioned, I lost my Mom to lung cancer at 59 and she was a non-smoker who exercised, ate right, etc. when that happens you start questioning a lot of things from religion to fairness to “why?” And that is exactly the time you need to lean on family and friends IMO. Anyway, to those that have posted thanks. It is cathartic when other people have gone through it and are willing to talk about it. And because this is a wrestling board I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that it isn’t being knocked down it’s getting up that counts.

Old Chinese Proverb: Fall down 7 times...........stand up 8.

 

[IAChief32]

A couple of months after this thread my world kind of fell apart and it is still hard. It is to the point where I don't break down almost daily, but I still think of mom pretty much every day. I won't go into details again, I talked about mom earlier in this thread and discussed her passing in another thread last year. First, the NCAAs being canceled rocked my world then mom's month-long struggle with Covid, then her stroke. At least she got to come home and pass in her home of almost 70 years. Since then I've had my share of issues health-wise, but I'm mostly on the mend and looking at retiring soon. It has been a rough year, as I'm sure it has been for many of you. We go through these things and it really puts life in perspective. I've always told my family not to have weddings in March, and even told my wife if our son was born at the wrong time in March she would be on her own for the birth, but, as important as wrestling is to me, it's still God first, then family, and wrestling a close third. I hope all my friends (and not-so-friends) in the cesspool are healthy and their families are as well. Let's all hope they don't take wrestling from us again either.

Amen...sorry to hear about your troubles bro. I lost sight of this thread so thanks for the many kind comments.

 

[chuck285]

Amen...sorry to hear about your troubles bro. I lost sight of this thread so thanks for the many kind comments.

TNT....Glad you mentioned it again. Hopefully many on here will read this and think twice about getting the covd19 shot, not just for them but family members and friends...

 

[BanjoSaysWoof]

Bump.

In my lifelong quest to get this thread to get more posts than the Brody Thread, I’m bumping this.

tell me about something once in a lifetime or memorable you’ve done with a loved one this past year, you intend to do this year, or soon.

god bless.

and I also cannot thank each and every one of you enough for the support you all offered me when I was in my darkest period. As I said. I was drowning, this little distraction from people who were gonna argue, laugh, and mock wasn’t little. It meant more than you can ever know.

thanks you for your friendship cesspool, even if you don’t like me

 

[Kwoodhawk]

Bump.

In my lifelong quest to get this thread to get more posts than the Brody Thread, I’m bumping this.

tell me about something once in a lifetime or memorable you’ve done with a loved one this past year, you intend to do this year, or soon.

god bless.

and I also cannot thank each and every one of you enough for the support you all offered me when I was in my darkest period. As I said. I was drowning, this little distraction from people who were gonna argue, laugh, and mock wasn’t little. It meant more than you can ever know.

thanks you for your friendship cesspool, even if you don’t like me

Thanks for bumping this thread. We all need reminders about our humanity.

Re-reading this thread and my wife ask me what is wrong with my eyes.

Yes, still crying.

 

[Trapper85]

Minimally bump this thread every 6 months if not still active, the week of the Iowa-PSU meet, and whenever a political debate erupts.

Now been 2 years ago, but finally got my dad back up to Canada fishing. He'd been taking me there since I was about 8. Those trips had a lasting impact on my life, so was great to get him back there and have some biggest fish debates.

Mom has mid-stage dementia and won't travel, but last summer I spent a couple weeks remodeling her house. Really brightened her mood.

My youngest daughter, 18 and in college, works part-time in a care facility. Recently had a patient die and their family sent my daughter a wonderful card thanking her for caring for and supporting their mother. Made me cry, proud and sad. All caregivers deserve our thanks....and more.

Saddest part for me about this thread is knowing all the people who have no family, money, or support. Go out of your way to help everyone........even PSU fans and morans. Wait, that may be the same thing.......humor is a great elixir when life is tough, as is gratitude.

Cheers, and best wishes to all.

 

[TNTwrestle]

My cheeks (face) needed a good rinsing this morning, and amidst all that this world is these days, I needed a reminder of what's really important.
I still miss my mom.

 

[Old__spartan]

I did not catch this thread previously. So many thoughts.

I made my first trip to CHA last Friday, because it was "always something I was going to do". I finally put the job on hold and said, I'm doing it this year. Great first trip.

I lost my mom at 17 (35 years ago) and my dad 5 years ago. I think back on all the Saturday's my dad gave up to get me to a wrestling meet. He loved it, but I know it had to be a chore sometimes. We didn't have a lot growing up either, but I always had what I needed.

I still remember making the plans for my dad's funeral. The pastor had to be out of the country adopting a son. The backup plan was some guy that did not know my father. I couldn't let that happen. I gave the eulogy at his funeral. Tough, but I'm glad I did it.

I concur on traveling and seeing things. My wife and I bought a travel trailer last fall and plan to utilize it this summer. Not quite to retirement age yet, but now have more money available to allow for travel and enough vacation time to make it happen.

 

[just_somebody]

Not at all once in a lifetime, but since we moved back 'home' last year my kids (and my wife and i) get to spend much more time with my parents and my grandmother, and i haven't regretted a minute of it.

Recently did pinewood derby cars with two of my boys for the first time, and totally relived doing the same with my dad 30 years ago. Very happy to be living a small town lifestyle and focusing/ spending more time with loved ones

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

I did not catch this thread previously. So many thoughts.

I made my first trip to CHA last Friday, because it was "always something I was going to do". I finally put the job on hold and said, I'm doing it this year. Great first trip.

I lost my mom at 17 (35 years ago) and my dad 5 years ago. I think back on all the Saturday's my dad gave up to get me to a wrestling meet. He loved it, but I know it had to be a chore sometimes. We didn't have a lot growing up either, but I always had what I needed.

I still remember making the plans for my dad's funeral. The pastor had to be out of the country adopting a son. The backup plan was some guy that did not know my father. I couldn't let that happen. I gave the eulogy at his funeral. Tough, but I'm glad I did it.

I concur on traveling and seeing things. My wife and I bought a travel trailer last fall and plan to utilize it this summer. Not quite to retirement age yet, but now have more money available to allow for travel and enough vacation time to make it happen.

Nice post. In particular, where I bolded your words above...I can definitely feel that. I too have begun to do things that I always wanted to do, but somehow would defer on when the time came. After now seeing a number of people pass on from this life...I realize all the more that life is precious...and short.

Get out there and do what you always wanted to do...before it is too late. I am glad you enjoyed your trip to Carver...hopefully there are many more to come for you sir.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

Minimally bump this thread every 6 months if not still active, the week of the Iowa-PSU meet, and whenever a political debate erupts.

Now been 2 years ago, but finally got my dad back up to Canada fishing. He'd been taking me there since I was about 8. Those trips had a lasting impact on my life, so was great to get him back there and have some biggest fish debates.

Mom has mid-stage dementia and won't travel, but last summer I spent a couple weeks remodeling her house. Really brightened her mood.

My youngest daughter, 18 and in college, works part-time in a care facility. Recently had a patient die and their family sent my daughter a wonderful card thanking her for caring for and supporting their mother. Made me cry, proud and sad. All caregivers deserve our thanks....and more.

Saddest part for me about this thread is knowing all the people who have no family, money, or support. Go out of your way to help everyone........even PSU fans and morans. Wait, that may be the same thing.......humor is a great elixir when life is tough, as is gratitude.

Cheers, and best wishes to all.

Another good post! Congrats to your daughter...and you too. It's very nice as a parent to get that type of feedback and know that you "did it" as it relates to raising your kids right.

Take those trips with family, do those things that you always wanted to do...live life and enjoy.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

Bump.

In my lifelong quest to get this thread to get more posts than the Brody Thread, I’m bumping this.

tell me about something once in a lifetime or memorable you’ve done with a loved one this past year, you intend to do this year, or soon.

god bless.

and I also cannot thank each and every one of you enough for the support you all offered me when I was in my darkest period. As I said. I was drowning, this little distraction from people who were gonna argue, laugh, and mock wasn’t little. It meant more than you can ever know.

thanks you for your friendship cesspool, even if you don’t like me

I am still a little melancholy today based on this past weekend. The best still living older member of my family passed away Sunday AM. He had been slipping, but was still driving his car just the previous Monday. Things went south on Tuesday and he was gone just 5 days later. Harrummph.

I was able to get to see him one last time though Saturday PM and while he was not able to interact with us very much in his final hours, it was a sweet and poignant time with all of family gathered. Make time for family gents...you just never know.

Banjo - thank you for sharing your thoughts during your toughest time and I am glad that you were able to gain something from this group. Best wishes to you and everyone else too.

 

[iowaHOXXX]

Damn, I have somehow missed this thread the other times it has come up but am glad I didn't this time. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories and making me realize how grateful and fortunate I am that I still get to make memories with my parents. If on Saturday you hear a couple guys standing at the top of the arena shouting snarky comments down to the ref regardless of the match score while you wait for your Carver Cone or beverage of choice, that will be my dad and I. Feel free to say hi.

Also, if anyone wants to sit in our seats we never make it to them anyways (who needs to sit down when you are in row 41 out of 42 after all )

 

[old_spartan]

Nice post. In particular, where I bolded your words above...I can definitely feel that. I too have begun to do things that I always wanted to do, but somehow would defer on when the time came. After now seeing a number of people pass on from this life...I realize all the more that life is precious...and short.

Get out there and do what you always wanted to do...before it is too late. I am glad you enjoyed your trip to Carver...hopefully there are many more to come for you sir.

Old wrestling fan thanks for the message. I imagine we’re all seeing folks pass away earlier than we expected. So yes I am putting more emphasis on my family and making memories. Hoping to get 3 grandchildren to Disney and Sea World this summer.

 

[old_spartan]

Bump.

In my lifelong quest to get this thread to get more posts than the Brody Thread, I’m bumping this.

tell me about something once in a lifetime or memorable you’ve done with a loved one this past year, you intend to do this year, or soon.

god bless.

and I also cannot thank each and every one of you enough for the support you all offered me when I was in my darkest period. As I said. I was drowning, this little distraction from people who were gonna argue, laugh, and mock wasn’t little. It meant more than you can ever know.

thanks you for your friendship cesspool, even if you don’t like me

Banjo

I’ll try to add a humorous memory to the thread. Folks can probably benefit from a chuckle.

My wife and I spent two weeks in Florida last summer. Near Maderia Beach. I had wanted to kayak so we decided to make a go of it. There’s a sign on the kayak that says do not disturb the hatch as it can cause the kayak to take on water and sink. I made sure not to touch it.

We go out and quickly get a good feel for the process. We find a sandbar and I snap some photos while my wife hunts for shells. Pretty soon a lady comes by and tells us there are several dolphins playing on the other side of a small island area. We head that way and for the life of me I can no longer keep the kayak upright.

After several attempts and no ability to paddle I send my wife back to the launch area. I’m going to drag the kayak back and try to swim the final 300 yards. The inbound current proved too much. My wife sent the charter out to get me.

So I’m thinking how much is a rescue going to cost. As they pull up and pull me onto the pontoon boat they start pulling my kayak up, only it’s a struggle. Come to find out the kayak had a leak and had taken on 40 gallons of water. They told me there was no way I was going to make it anywhere like that.

At this point I’m actually relieved. I thought there’s no way I can’t keep a kayak upright. The company is now falling all over us trying to make things right without getting a black eye. They offer a full refund. I laugh and ask for tickets to the dolphin boat ride. They happily gave us tickets.

Fun trip. Funnier story.

 

[el dub]

Damn, I have somehow missed this thread the other times it has come up but am glad I didn't this time. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories and making me realize how grateful and fortunate I am that I still get to make memories with my parents. If on Saturday you hear a couple guys standing at the top of the arena shouting snarky comments down to the ref regardless of the match score while you wait for your Carver Cone or beverage of choice, that will be my dad and I. Feel free to say hi.

Also, if anyone wants to sit in our seats we never make it to them anyways (who needs to sit down when you are in row 41 out of 42 after all )

I usually just sit on edge of the student section regardless of assigned seat.

 

[el dub]

Banjo

I’ll try to add a humorous memory to the thread. Folks can probably benefit from a chuckle.

My wife and I spent two weeks in Florida last summer. Near Maderia Beach. I had wanted to kayak so we decided to make a go of it. There’s a sign on the kayak that says do not disturb the hatch as it can cause the kayak to take on water and sink. I made sure not to touch it.

We go out and quickly get a good feel for the process. We find a sandbar and I snap some photos while my wife hunts for shells. Pretty soon a lady comes by and tells us there are several dolphins playing on the other side of a small island area. We head that way and for the life of me I can no longer keep the kayak upright.

After several attempts and no ability to paddle I send my wife back to the launch area. I’m going to drag the kayak back and try to swim the final 300 yards. The inbound current proved too much. My wife sent the charter out to get me.

So I’m thinking how much is a rescue going to cost. As they pull up and pull me onto the pontoon boat they start pulling my kayak up, only it’s a struggle. Come to find out the kayak had a leak and had taken on 40 gallons of water. They told me there was no way I was going to make it anywhere like that.

At this point I’m actually relieved. I thought there’s no way I can’t keep a kayak upright. The company is now falling all over us trying to make things right without getting a black eye. They offer a full refund. I laugh and ask for tickets to the dolphin boat ride. They happily gave us tickets.

Fun trip. Funnier story.

So, they rented you a submarine. Quit whining and read the fine print next time. Lol

 

[Bones Malone]

I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there. If you need anything. Have any questions, anything at all...

Hi, Banjo. Thanks for the thread bump.

I'd mentioned previously, my Dad and wrestling coach was also dying of progressive supranuclear palsy and had been placed in a care home. Unfortunately, due to COVID protocols, our family was only able to see him through the window at the care home once the pandemic set in. He took a turn for the worse in Nov '20 and we pulled him from the home, moving him to my sisters summer lake house for his final weeks, where the entire family came together to care for him around the clock. He could not speak and was unresponsive during his time in hospice but we made him comfortable. We exchanged hugs, shared tears & laughter, while sitting by his side. We'd go for walks together. At times we'd try to enjoy a game, beer or cocktail, while reliving countless stories about Dad and our "wrestling family". We have lots of great memories of time spent experiencing this great sport at ALL levels. Our family felt this time together was Dad's final gift before his passing on Dec 1, 2020. Ironically, one of the folks that came to remove his body was a daughter of one of his former wrestlers. Those two weeks our family spent together was a very difficult time but also one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives (similar to wrestling). After Dad's passing, our family prepped and help Mom get her house sold. We've since moved her into a senior apartment complex near my oldest sister.

My father's death was my first experience dealing with the loss of a very close loved one. Due to the surprising economic surge coming out of the pandemic, I found myself working 60-65 hour weeks with little time for my wife (no pics) and family. Dad's death provided an opportunity to reflect on my own mortality (perhaps helped by your comments). It provided perspective regarding what's important in life and I began to question what I was doing working so many hours for "the man". As someone reminded me in an earlier thread this week, "dying ain't much of a living". Similarly, the feeling of my life slipping away kept creeping into my head. So, I retired at end of October. Unless you truly love your job, there's certainly more to life than work. Fortunately, the 401K money I'd saved over 33 years in the workforce since graduating college allowed me to take part in the "great resignation" and spend more time with family.

The first trip I planned when deciding to retire was to Destin, FL to watch the Hawks wrestle in the Collegiate Duals and see a state I'd not experienced. The weather was a little cool but we enjoyed some great seafood and wonderful white sand beaches. When Dad was alive, we'd nearly always attend the NCAA's & B1G tournaments when held in the Midwest. We have tickets for the B1G tournament in Lincoln but do not yet have plans to attend NCAA's in Detroit. I still consider this an option but I won't mind staying home and watching on computer/TV while listening to on the radio. Truth be told, may wife (excuse me, no pics...lol) planned a surprise retirement trip to Detroit over last Thanksgiving to watch the Lions vs Bears. So, we were recently in Detroit and stayed downtown, watching the game surrounded mostly by MSU fans/families. Sadly, I am a lifelong Lions fan. It was a great time. My 1st NFL game seemed more "social" than games at Kinnick, perhaps because the Lions were winless at the time. We will be traveling to AZ at some point to see my grown children, exact details TBD. Lots of planning still to do with regards to spending more time with loved ones...

I don't post often but please don't be a stranger here in the cesspool. Thanks again for the bump. Take care and try spending more time golfing and less time working...Go Hawks!

 

[Kwoodhawk]

Indeed, we do have more fight in us than we realize. We find a way. We have to.

I nearly lost my daughter to suicide when she was 17. The confusion, pain, and shame that I felt is indescribable. I had no experience navigating the world of mental health, illness, and therapy, but had to find a way. She is 20, and is building her life, day by day, finding a way, and family is the most important thing. Depression is a beast, and there is never an end, there is only learning how to manage and adapt.

This whole experience has taught me to live in moments. To be present. To be a human BEing. Not a human DOing. And we all have our stories. They guy sitting next to us, or the one that makes us angry, the person of whom we are envious, or seems has everything that they need. We all have our stories of heartbreak and loss. Our world needs people who will listen to the stories of others. This thread is a wonderful thing.

In these hard life moments, the really hard ones, our best is good enough. And that is what we need to do. This hive was a spot that helped me manage, the laughing, the silliness, the passion. It's all good.

A nutritionally oriented Doctor that I am aware of treats depression with "Essential Amino Acids". Many of our neurotransmitters are made from amino acids. Poor digestion and/or poor diet can impair absorbtion of amino acids which can lead to depression. Not the only reason for depression, but it is a fairly cheap option to try. Might help.

 

[blcoach80]

First off, this might be the best thread ever started at the cesspool so thank you for that Banjo! I read through it all again this year just as a refresher/reminder for life.
I am fortunate enough to have both my parents alive and healthy and even get to work with my dad every day as partners in our family business. I pray my sons will get to do the same (or be willing to do the same) in the near future. Truly is nothing better when it comes to your job.

It will be 21 years ago on Feb. 16th of this year that I lost my high school sweetheart and fiancee to a car wreck on her way to college. There is no worse feeling in the world than having the police come to your workplace and tell you there has been an accident and you need to go to the hospital. I didn't know the outcome until I got there and it was not a drive I should have made by myself. I was 21 years old and I was devastated. I had never dealt with the loss of someone so close to me to that point in my life. It started out as shock and grief for the first week or two, but then switched to anger. All I could think about was the last day we spent together and the morning routine when we went our separate ways that morning. No kiss goodbye. All the things we never got a chance to do. No one to talk to about my day when I came home from work. It was a very low time in my life. I don't think I ate for weeks and just really quit caring about anything. I have always been a healthy person both physically and mentally, but the death of someone close like that tested everything I had known to that point in my life. It also taught me some awesome life lessons. I never take a day for granted now, kiss and hug my wife (no pics) goodbye every morning and night, and I try to make as many memories with my boys as I can now as I know I won't be there forever. Same with my parents. My wife lost her mom 5 years ago and she was very close to her. Depression is most certainly a real thing and she was a wreck after she passed away. I'm glad I was able to support her and give her a shoulder to cry on. I know I would have loved to have had that years earlier. Everyone deals with grief differently and this thread brought back a lot of memories for me. Glad you started it Banjo, and keep bumping it every year! Thanks and sorry for the long post. God bless cesspool friends!