Reasons to go the Hawkeye Report message board

[Vallholl]

I figured it would be a long weekend w/o wresting so I put together the list below. Some the items are specifically related to why I go to the Board and some may describe why you come to the board, which is great, I hope you enjoy it. If it compels you to add to the list, even better.

However, All characters (except "Wendy") appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

To the list:



Our Faux PBP has more details than your real PBP

PBP that includes PBP of the radio color anaylsis
Sometimes you need a break from rationale, well thought out conversations.


The best and most frequent use of Emojis

Our posters actually wrestled in High School and College

400 posts relating to Brody Grothus' weight

To find out exactly what a "whizzard" is

Guided Practice on Reading comprehension

Random 80s movie references

20 threads a day on wrestling.

Your black and gold tube socks are in the dryer and you need to kill some time.

You have written a book on Emotional Core Therapy.

You have some thoughts on stalling that you would like to share.

Your parents are concerned that, as an adult male still living in the basement, you need to make more friends.

Your favorite team just did something big in wrestling andyour board has five posters (and they are all not active right now).

Tony Ramos just won a NC and you need to know what that move was ("Churella" by the way).

Crazy lineup suggestions

We have a poster named "Wendy", who by all accounts is a real life female.

Or

Wendy may invite you to breakfast


This post was edited on 2/28 3:02 PM by Vallholl

 

[mangypolecat]

You are still searching for the correct spelling of "Streibler" and figure it must be in one of these posts.

Kilroy doesn't post on the wrestling board, so it is a nice place for your mind to unwrap.

You just dig the colorful terms like "oilchecker" that it adds to your vocabulary.

Wendy just might post a pic.

 

[texas twister]

You are feeling like you hung the moon and need to be brought back down to Earth.

You believe that Coach Brands is lacking in coaching skill and needs your expert advice.

You got clawed up on themat and need to surround yourself with friendly forces.

You have been driving the wife insane and you take her threats seriously.

 

[pablow]

Need relief from all the morans at work.

 

[Kwoodhawk]

Originally posted by texas twister:
.

You have been driving the wife insane and you take her threats seriously.

You mean like.............if you do something stupid like that ever again.....I'm gonna kill you.

And I mean it this time.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

[minnhawkeye]

waiting for Wendy to post a picture

see what troll will come in today

who will give the best advice to Brands

 

[Hawkirish]

Certain visitors who like to inform / educate Hawk fans on certain subjects, they are:

From the east: Only became a wrestling fan 4 years ago and I'd like to learn more or Carl is revolutionary in the way he coaches his guys to have fun and actually tells them to release guys intentionally to score more points.

From the south: Hawks only push and don't have the slick technique of the cowboys (actual technique = really good with one foot in and one foot out late in a period). Oh and we have more titles than Iowa even if most occurred before my grandfather was born.

From the north: Don't forget about us - we use to be good and just wait until 2015 with the senior class we have we most likely will set the team scoring record. Just wait until national duals after we beat Cornell we are going to smoke the Hawks as you've already peaked. And by the way if you are interested in real estate....

From the other side of the state: UNI doesn't have the history the Cyclones do.

Please feel free to add.

 

[minnhawkeye]

nm
This post was edited on 2/28 11:42 AM by minnhawkeye

 

[whejoe]

MSU158 posts

Iron Mike discussions

 

[Vallholl]

Excellent work, guys.

Where else would you go for your pac12 wrestling tournament pool?

Just the right mix of immaturity and cleverness. The sweet-and-sour of wrestling message boards.

 

[Vallholl]

Pablow I went to find an image of the " get a brain Moran" guy but instead did an Internet search for " images of Moran". best Internet mistake I've made in a loooooong time.

 

[Vallholl]

You just weighed in at 284.6 pounds and you want to see if anyone on the board noticed. (And of course someone did),

 

[wasdt21]

link to Clovis wrestling- they got a kid aint to bad.

 

[McCulloughd]

Because Hawkeye Nation, Hawkeye Insider, Hawk Central, Intermat, Open Mat, Wrestling Report, Predicament, WIN, and the worse one of them all, The Mat, all suck. On the Hawkeye Report you have a random of posters who, know what they are talking about, think they know what they are talking about, I heard, I think, that's what my friend said, troublemakers, thin skinned, some who are 2-3 sandwiches short of a picnic, trolls, and most important, douche bags. The bottom line is that we all like wrestling and the IOWA HAWKEYES.

 

[GG121AND2]

So I can bug you for money.

 

[hawkeyecrazy]

For Pure Entertainment; Where else can you find a poster that states an opinion, creates a fake user name....and uses it to agree with and support his initial position.

For Breaking News; have to be in the loop when Brands gets fired because he cannot coach.

To Boost Ones Ego; always feel better about my day after reading Goofer posts.

For The Train Wreck of Logic; Anyone else miss Eric Hawk?

For The Insider Knowledge; Where people in the 'know' regularly post that they have information but they just can't tell you at this point in time as it was told to them in confidence.

The Daily Pissing Contests, Name Calling, and Internet Tough Guy Competitions.

and last but not least

For the sake of Higher Education where we once and for all learn the definitions of Caveman Wrestling, How to identify STALLING but why we do not call it, and the precise definition of "Iowa Style" and debate the merits of why Gable has no idea what he was talking about.

 

[hawkeyesports92]

To get the most up to date lineup and recruiting news from Spoons.

To laugh at the grown men crying about high school recruits.

To find out what WDM said to get blacklisted. Still waiting

This post was edited on 2/28 3:02 PM by hawkeyesports92

 

[whejoe]

Yeah, tell us the blacklisted story!

Did mnhawk have breakfast last Sunday with Wendy?

I'd also like to find out if the guy who said he was on his way to Carver from MN realized that the dual was in Minneapolis before it was too late.....

 

[AFHawk86]

Most excellent thread dudes (& Wendy).

Don't forget crazy lineups and Slaton references!

 

[CCAHawkeye]

Because it took 2 years of reading it get to a point where I understand most of the references and I don't want to get behind again

Don't want to miss Kwoodhawk's latest

Find out who GG121and2 is helping next

Best place to read about Iowa wrestling. If you can sort through some bs

Fun to sort through the bs.

Vallholl

 

[MadTown Hawk]

To learn the true definition of "Iowa Style".

 

[amyla78]

You are a newbie rabid Hawkeye wrestling fan (don't you dare call me a noob) and you come for Vallholl's PBPs and to read all the wrestling lingo that then leads you to goto Youtube videos (WTF is a cowcatcher?) or Google (to lookup all the past wrestlers that get mentioned).

I'm also a female, do I get a special callout too? ;-)

Love these message boards to learn more about this sport I've fallen in love with. Love the passion, the humor and even can forgive all the name-calling (you guys love calling out "idiots.")

Cheers, guys!

This post was edited on 2/28 9:34 PM by amyla78

 

[WEH8ST8HAWK]

Wrestlers are a different breed, not really idiots. We are the toughest sob's in the valley. We cuss and are willing to punch each other in the face. In the end, no hard feelings and the best man won. Pretty simple really.

 

[AFHawk86]

Originally posted by amyla78:
You are a newbie rabid Hawkeye wrestling fan (don't you dare call me a noob) and you come for Vallholl's PBPs and to read all the wrestling lingo that then leads you to goto Youtube videos (WTF is a cowcatcher?) or Google (to lookup all the past wrestlers that get mentioned).

I'm also a female, do I get a special callout too? ;-)

Love these message boards to learn more about this sport I've fallen in love with. Love the passion, the humor and even can forgive all the name-calling (seem to be alot of idiots).

Cheers, guys!

amyla - It's all about the food! If you're making breakfast then you'll definitely get a call out

 

[amyla78]

Guys are all about two things. Food being one of them.
How about we keep it to wrestling for now?

 

[AFHawk86]

Originally posted by amyla78:
Guys are all about two things. Food being one of them.
How about we keep it to wrestling for now?

Fair enough. Thank you for not holding my sexist comments against me (and most of the rest of this board).

Oh, I almost forgot...what's the second thing?




This post was edited on 2/28 9:58 PM by AFHawk86

 

[amyla78]

On this board? Wrestling, of course

 

[Vallholl]

I worked with a lady who was friends with a college wrestling coach. Every time she told me a story about him she would start it with "Our crazy friend, the wrestling coach". After about 2/3 times, I told her that using the term "crazy" was redundant and that any time you had "wrestling" in a sentence, you don't need to add "crazy" (unless, as I learned later you are going to follow with "lineup").

She laughed and laughed.

I told her I wasn't trying to be funny. I'm serious.

WEH8ST8HAWK posted on 2/28/2015...
Wrestlers are a different breed, not really idiots.

This post was edited on 3/1 9:55 AM by Vallholl

 

[AFHawk86]

Originally posted by Vallholl:
I worked with a lady who was friends with a college wrestling coach. Every time she told me a story about him she would start it with "Our crazy friend, the wrestling coach". After about 2/3 times, I told her that using the term "crazy" was redundant and that any time you had "wrestling" in a sentence, you don't need to add "crazy" (unless, as I learned later you are going to follow with "lineup").

She laughed and laughed.

I told her I wasn't trying to be funny. I'm serious.

WEH8ST8HAWK posted on 2/28/2015...
Wrestlers are a different breed, not really idiots.

This post was edited on 3/1 9:55 AM by Vallholl

Good analogy Vallholl.

And congrats on making this list!

 

[WWDMHawkeye]

Originally posted by hawkeyesports92:
To get the most up to date lineup and recruiting news from Spoons.

To laugh at the grown men crying about high school recruits.

To find out what WDM said to get blacklisted. Still waiting

This post was edited on 2/28 3:02 PM by hawkeyesports92

Sorry, guys -- I thought I explained it a while back, but maybe it slipped my mind.

Unfortunately, it was nothing all that interesting. After yet another implosion of the Iowa football team last fall, threads questioning the coaching were getting deleted. I commented that it seemed the truth wasn't acceptable on the board, or something to that effect, questioning why legitimate threads were getting deleted, and I got the axe.

So I came back as WDMHHawkeye, made a similar comment again (stupidly, I might add), and got the axe again.

So I'm back as WWDMHawkeye. So far, so good. Learned my lesson -- never comment on anything even remotely related to stuff getting deleted! Nothing I posted was the least bit offensive, but I just got axed along with the threads, themselves, and I'm guessing a bunch of other posters. Probably just wise to steer clear of the football board altogether after losses.

So there's my anti-climactic account of why I got blacklisted. Sorry I don't have anything juicier!

Now, let's go win national team title #24!

 

[texas twister]

Originally posted by amyla78:
Guys are all about two things. Food being one of them.
How about we keep it to wrestling for now?

Had a mother/ parent of a kid in the club I coached. She fell in love with wrestling and made it to all the practices and tournaments. After awhile, she had a meeting with the band director at school. She said that after being around wrestling folks so long, he seemed so effeminate even though for years prior she never thought that way about him before. She said it must have been the lack of testosterone flowing, it wasn't obvious before being around wrestling die hards.

 

[amyla78]

Texas twister:
I beg to differ a little. Part of the reason I love these boards is the real people who are just passionate about this sport. Like Vallholl throwing in switching laundry & giving the puppy a rawhide to his commentary. If it was too much beating chests and spitting contests I wouldn't be here. But, these guys love talking about wrestling and I love learning. Go Hawks!

 

[rival_me]

so you can see all the good work jim does by keeping our youths into wrestling...

Originally posted by GG121AND2:
So I can bug you for money.

 

[Vallholl]

Well, it is an all inclusive PBP.
Honestly, wasn't aware that the puppy had made it. Laundry, on the other hand, never ends. I mostly just switch loads, I leave the folding to the experts.

amyla78 posted on 3/1/2015...
Texas twister:
I beg to differ a little. Part of the reason I love these boards is the real people who are just passionate about this sport. Like Vallholl throwing in switching laundry & giving the puppy a rawhide to his commentary. If it was too much beating chests and spitting contests I wouldn't be here. But, these guys love talking about wrestling and I love learning. Go Hawks!

 

[pablow]

Originally posted by Vallholl:
Pablow I went to find an image of the " get a brain Moran" guy but instead did an Internet search for " images of Moran". best Internet mistake I've made in a loooooong time.

Thanks for the tip. That will give me something to do this morning.

 

[Wendy79]

I'm a real female...last I checked, anyway. I'll post a picture as soon as all y'all do. (Though I'm not terribly difficult to track down on social media.)

Sadly, MN didn't make it to breakfast. The cinnamon rolls were still delicious.

 

[JasonBryant]

Streebler should have been in the OP.

 

[GG121AND2]

Originally posted by JasonBryant:
Streebler should have been in the OP.

Needed a "Like" button.

 

[Hawknado]

201. Offend the "respected" posters of an anonymous board

 

[MSU158]

Reason #1.) To find an overwhelming respect and appreciation for Josh Dziewa's personality(he gets it!), style(he gets it!) and National Ranking(7th).