I understand what you are saying and agree with highlighting nuance.You're distorting what people are saying. For 80-90% of the population there's no real issue with identifying what sex they are. That's now normative curves work. 80% of the people generally fall within just one or two standard deviation where they feel comfortable with the definition of female, they're attracted to the opposite sex, they fall within societies cultural norms on what those mean with no real issue. I've never had any problem identifying myself as male. I don't fall into every category of male that some people demand, but I'm a male, I'm attracted to women, I'm a Father, a Husband, my pronouns are He/His/Him and no issue at all.
Unfortunately there's a lot more complexity to it. Some people say that it's chromosomes but there are people who's chromosomes don't match their sex organs, there are people who are born with more than one sex organ, there are people who's brains are functionally female while the rest of their body looks like male or vice versa. Those people fall on the outskirts of what it means to be a male/female and it's not as clear for them.
So yes, for 80-90 % of people, I have no issue with identifying them as male or female. In the past we simply told those who fell outside the spectrum that they had to fall inline and so they lived what felt wrong and broken because society demanded it. But how do you define people who have traits outside of your narrow vision of what it means to be male/female? People just like to ignore those and pretend they don't exist or worse yet, call them some type of broken perversion/mutation.
Those are the people I'm speaking about and it's not clear. Yes, some people simply have gender dysphoria that may all be in their heads; that's why anyone dealing with this should have a good therapist to help them work through everything, but the more we learn about science, the more we learn that nothing in nature is ever as simple as we like to say it is. Things are crazy and all over the place, and the same applies to human sexuality/gender. It's just that some of us aren't comfortable with it, and so we want to deny it.
To me the harder question is how you handle those situations. When it comes to things like what we do when we find out someone falls outside those "normal" situations, how do we treat them, how do we handle academics, etc...? In that I don't know. Those were all setup with the idea of a binary that we're starting to learn isn't as clear for a small percentage of the population.
But you don't want to talk about those because you just learned about it from some tweets from actual scientists (As if it isn't valid since they tweeted it), or because it's clear to you when someone is male/female.
I think tumorboy is right about this not being worth arguing over. It seems you are arguing on the basis of gender being included in the definition of a woman. In that case, I concede the point you are making.
Biology is still biology. 😁