The Atlantic: We’re Missing a Key Driver of Teen Anxiety

[Nole Lou]

School does not have the same rigor as when we all went to school. From elementary to college. No point in saying that to kids (trust me, I have) because it doesn't matter to them. They won't know any different.

As others have said, my kids' schools from elementary through high school was roughly 10x more rigorous than high school when I grew up.

Maybe just getting through bare minimum with a diploma is less rigorous, I don't know, but the kids we are talking about that are stressing about elite admissions...they're having a far more rigorous experience.

 

[Nole Lou]

This is oversimplifying it by quite a bit. Statistically speaking, people with college degrees still make significantly more income than people without them. But that doesn't mean everyone needs to get a college degree to be happy. Many people will see far more success learning a trade than going to college.

Yeah, the kids that are falling victim to this anxiety are not suffering over whether they'll get into college or not. Almost universally, they'll all get into college, mostly perfectly good to very good ones.

The anxiety is around WHICH college they will get into, which statistically speaking doesn't matter anywhere near as much as getting a college degree.

 

[RollingBallofButcherKnives]

Actually worse. If I defend myself wrong or accidently injure a student while trying to get them to stop hitting me, it's on me.

I would not blame teachers or cops one bit if they got the hell out of their professions. Then what will we have?

 

[Nole Lou]

I have dealt with this at some level with both of my no pic kids due to their inherent desire to succeed. Oldest got a 34 on the ACT, ranked in the top 2% of her graduating class with a virtually all AP curriculum, 2 sport captain and was still very anxious/stressed that she had no shot at the Ivy League schools - basically too many kids exactly like her profile. It was tons of work to help her understand this did not matter. So why did she stress? Peers, the climate at her very well regarded public school, stories from people she respected, etc. As a parent you have to fight through all that.

Exactly. That's the exact kind of bogus stress that kids should not be feeling, and its a big deal to disabuse them of that. That is the exact profile of my three kids, and it requires a conscious effort for a parent to be a parent on this issue.

It's a fine line. I can run my mouth off about not really mattering if my kid went to Georgia Tech or Valdosta State, but in the case of my kid, if he was at Valdosta State right now I'd be pissed. Because it would mean he decided that he didn't want to do any challenging work in high school, didn't want to do his homework, etc. While I don't think that the name of the college makes enough difference in outcomes to cause anxiety, developing habits around taking the easy way out, being lazy, doing the bare minimum, prioritizing for video games, etc...I believe those habits being ingrained certainly DOES have a significant effect on outcomes.

But if I had a kid who Valdosta State was reasonably at the higher end of his capacity, academically or emotionally or whatever...no problem. I just want them to develop the habits necessary to land somewhere in the upper range of their reasonable capacity.

 

[onlyTheObvious]

I think AI is going to wipe out all kinds of careers. Most of them in areas that now require a degree.

Highly skilled medical fields will be fine ( for a while anyway ).

IT, Accounting, marketing, “business”, logistics etc. will get destroyed in the next decade.

Skilled hands on jobs like HVAC and electricians will be a great place to go.

 

[luvmyhawks]

School does not have the same rigor as when we all went to school. From elementary to college. No point in saying that to kids (trust me, I have) because it doesn't matter to them. They won't know any different.

This just simply is not true. School is waaaayyyyyyyyy more rigorous for my kids than it was for me.

 

[luvmyhawks]

I think this is a big part of it, along with what @NDallasRuss was saying about:

One possibility she explored was that the most rigorous schools created an environment where kids worried too much about how they measured up to their peers in grades, activities, and college admissions.

I strongly believe there is some bigger cultural issue here, of which ultra-studying is just one component. I really believe this is just another reflection of the thing that is making kids need Tommy John surgery in the 9th grade. Why are many kids playing baseball 6 days a week year round now? Why are parents spending multi-thousands of dollars a year on voice lessons starting in kindergarten?

There is some kind of cultural need that has developed, and some reason why our generation fosters an atmosphere of competition and achievement among our kids that we never experienced or lived through as kids. None of us played 80 baseball games a season at 13 years old, why have we taken to it so enthusiastically with our kids?

It's very weird.

There's absolutely a snowball aspect to it, based on what other people are doing. To some extent it's just the culture and peer group around them. Obviously if your 10 year old is the best player on his rec baseball team, and he sees the other best players all starting travel ball, he's going to decide he wants to play travel ball, even without much concept of what it means, and what other alternatives his life might look like at 15 if he wasn't dedicated 35 hours a week to baseball. And as parents we are susceptible to that as well, we're just like "well, that's what they want".

I would agree with this all the way until the end. Most times, it isn’t what the kid wants, it’s what the parent wants.

 

[luvmyhawks]

I think AI is going to wipe out all kinds of careers. Most of them in areas that now require a degree.

Highly skilled medical fields will be fine ( for a while anyway ).

IT, Accounting, marketing, “business”, logistics etc. will get destroyed in the next decade.

Skilled hands on jobs like HVAC and electricians will be a great place to go.

This has been said in some way, shape or form for 50 years now. Ai will not wipe out highly skilled careers.

 

[onlyTheObvious]

This has been said in some way, shape or form for 50 years now. Ai will not wipe out highly skilled careers.

AI is way different than any other technology advancement.

Imagine an AI program that knows 100% of every legal case in recorded history and can apply it and make logical strategies based on that wealth of knowledge.

Time will tell.

 

[BioHawk]

Exactly. That's the exact kind of bogus stress that kids should not be feeling, and its a big deal to disabuse them of that. That is the exact profile of my three kids, and it requires a conscious effort for a parent to be a parent on this issue.

It's a fine line. I can run my mouth off about not really mattering if my kid went to Georgia Tech or Valdosta State, but in the case of my kid, if he was at Valdosta State right now I'd be pissed. Because it would mean he decided that he didn't want to do any challenging work in high school, didn't want to do his homework, etc. While I don't think that the name of the college makes enough difference in outcomes to cause anxiety, developing habits around taking the easy way out, being lazy, doing the bare minimum, prioritizing for video games, etc...I believe those habits being ingrained certainly DOES have a significant effect on outcomes.

But if I had a kid who Valdosta State was reasonably at the higher end of his capacity, academically or emotionally or whatever...no problem. I just want them to develop the habits necessary to land somewhere in the upper range of their reasonable capacity.

It depends. If my kid worked hard in high school and chose to go to Valdosta State because it was significantly cheaper then I wouldn't be upset at all. The stuff you learn in undergrad doesn't change no matter where you take it. The only real difference between a small state school and an Ivy League school are where you start at in the curriculum and the people you meet while you are there (which is actually probably the biggest thing about getting one of those 6 figure jobs right out of college jobs).

For reference, the Ivy League schools I have heard about (from former students who went to one) start a math curriculum with Calculus 3 as so many of their students have had Calculus 1 and 2 before getting there. If you go to them at Calculus 2 you will be behind the other people in your class.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

Meh, it’s been like that for years with schooling. I would say the biggest reason for the anxiety and mental illness would be social media.

There are many good, thoughtful replies in this thread BTW. I too think social media is a "differentiator" these days. FWIW, I knew plenty of kids way back that were super stressed over their academics in HS and college, but it does seem like it is more widespread these days.

A LOT of it is parenting...coming from someone that has sat in the stands next to "certain parents" at youth soccer games and wrestling meets, etc. I felt cringy at times on behalf of the goofy kid out there playing a kid game while dad and/or mom freaked out about everything the whole time that their baby was playing...or not playing. Certainly those kids had to be "hearing it" at home I would imagine...as the games were VERY important to the parents, etc.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

This is undoubtedly a major contributing factor.

Prior to Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok, et.al., there were millions of kids nationwide who went to school and got bullied, ostracized, marginalized, or on the other end of the spectrum, spent every minute in an extremely competitive state of mind....competing with friends/classmates for ranking and status in academics, sports, cheerleading, dance, music, art, and on and on.

The difference is, back then, as long as they didn't answer the phone, home was a place where they could--to paraphrase the Cheers theme song--take a break from all their worries. Or at least take a break from some of them, and for at least some amount of time.

Today, they are interconnected 24/7/365 with their friends, support groups, classmates and competitors, and also their tormentors (in whatever form that torment might take).

To make matters even worse, they're also in near-constant connection with their teachers. Doodle's daughter does 90% of her homework on a laptop provided by the school. Almost everything is digital and is turned in and graded via Google Classroom, Canvas Portal, and Infinite Campus. Not only that, but the parents also have instantaneous and constant access to details on every homework assignment, project, quiz, test and final.

So it's not merely a matter of the stereotype of the modern teen being unwilling to disconnect and disengage. In fact, it instead is proving to be a virtual impossibility for them to do so. Thus, there is no way you'll convince Ol' Doodle that this isn't having a dramatically detrimental impact on their mental health, especially as compared to prior generations.

Very, very good post. ^^ My wife is a teacher, so she sees things from that perspective. Short, short version...the moms and dads that electronically, and otherwise, "hawk" the minute by minute progress of their precious babies AND are the first to have a "question" for the teacher when Jr. doesn't get a perfect score, etc, have a very high correlation to the kids that are the "excessive worriers". Hmmm.

Somewhere around 10-12 years old, or so, when the kid understands that their relative rank, or progress, is of such vital importance to mom/dad...the kid can often then "go the other way" and get indifferent. I see it as a mild form of rebellion.

As a parent, you NEVER want your kid to think that their performance is more important to you than just knowing that you are loved and valued unconditionally. Pretty much all kids will smell that out if that is what is actually motivating mom/dad...and then the dysfunction begins.

 

[Hawkfan_08]

This just simply is not true. School is waaaayyyyyyyyy more rigorous for my kids than it was for me.

It's true almost everywhere. Good on your kids district for keeping high standards. This is not what I see in the junior highs or high schools in my district or even at the U of Iowa right now.

 

[Hawkfan_08]

I would not blame teachers or cops one bit if they got the hell out of their professions. Then what will we have?

It's more like what can I do if I don't teach? I don't have another piece of paper to help me get another job.

 

[desihawk]

based on what everyone says about the french regarding how little they work yet how advanced they are, i figured they would have a great system with kids that are chill and well-adjusted. disappointed that google seems to suggest that kids there are as effed up as ours. in fact a huge chuck of their gifted children are apparently medically depressed. i'll continue to research and post when i find a place to emulate...

 

[NoleATL]

Me? I hardly ever did homework even when it was assigned. About 50% of the classes had maybe one single big project.

Totally me...

 

[Colonoscopy]

This is pretty crazy: