Wide Turds

[Funky Bunch]

What do you do when you have a huge one coming out? Do you just relax and let it ride, or do you suck it back in and hope it will ref-form into a smaller one? I just had a huge one (no pic) and it didn't hurt too bad, but I couldn't imagine something that big going in. Maybe I'm underestimating my limits. Is poop a good measure of what one would take in?

 

[BrunoMars420]

What do you do when you have a huge one coming out? Do you just relax and let it ride, or do you suck it back in and hope it will ref-form into a smaller one? I just had a huge one (no pic) and it didn't hurt too bad, but I couldn't imagine something that big going in. Maybe I'm underestimating my limits. Is poop a good measure of what one would take in?

Let it ride. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

 

[dgordo]

 

[NoleATL]

Wide is okay, its the ones that seem to have spikes that kill me.

 

[naturalmwa]

Wide is okay, its the ones that seem to have spikes that kill me.

Pull the toys out before you sit.

 

[TarponSpringsNole]

You savor the great feeling, and sometimes those are lottery winning no wipers too

 

[helmetnuts]

 

[Rudolph]

You savor the great feeling, and sometimes those are lottery winning no wipers too

 

[LuciousBDragon]

I hold it for a couple moments.

Pull pants up and run to my kids playroom.

I locate the Play-Doh factory.

I take the plastic strip that you slide over the end of the Play-Do factory.

I grab some tape.

Run back to bathroom and pull pants down and tape the strip over my anus hole.

Sometimes I make stars

Sometimes I make crescent moons.

 

[Rudolph]

I hold it for a couple moments.

Pull pants up and run to my kids playroom.

I locate the Play-Doh factory.

I take the plastic strip that you slide over the end of the Play-Do factory.

I grab some tape.

Run back to bathroom and pull pants down and tape the strip over my anus hole.

Sometimes I make stars

Sometimes I make crescent moons.

 

[Herkmeister]

Always admire your work.

Those of us who enjoy the “small” things in life are the happiest people.

 

[Herkmeister]

I hold it for a couple moments.

Pull pants up and run to my kids playroom.

I locate the Play-Doh factory.

I take the plastic strip that you slide over the end of the Play-Do factory.

I grab some tape.

Run back to bathroom and pull pants down and tape the strip over my anus hole.

Sometimes I make stars

Sometimes I make crescent moons.

Olfactory nerve issues I assume.

 

[QChawks]

I git one of these so I can it down to size

 

[longliveCS40]

Jesus Christ, drink some water you people!

 

[JWolf74]

Suck it back in? Are you a wizard?

 

[Rudolph]

I hold it for a couple moments.

Pull pants up and run to my kids playroom.

I locate the Play-Doh factory.

I take the plastic strip that you slide over the end of the Play-Do factory.

I grab some tape.

Run back to bathroom and pull pants down and tape the strip over my anus hole.

Sometimes I make stars

Sometimes I make crescent moons.

By the way, instead of tape I suggest you maybe look into this.

 

[TailgateTom]

The trick is using pucker control to squeeze it into a manageable circumference. Once you’ve mastered this, you can push without fear of splitting your butthole.

 

[sadiehawkins]

 

[Herkmeister]

The trick is using pucker control to squeeze it into a manageable circumference. Once you’ve mastered this, you can push without fear of splitting your butthole.

Trust me, that’s a young man’s game.

 

[JWolf74]

The trick is using pucker control to squeeze it into a manageable circumference. Once you’ve mastered this, you can push without fear of splitting your butthole.

Is this something you learned from @naturalmwa?

 

[ggmike1992]

 

[Herkmeister]

I git one of these so I can it down to size

I gotta get some of these.

 

[TailgateTom]

Is this something you learned from @naturalmwa?

No but after I posted, I thought that might be something he’d enjoy.

 

[FAUlty Gator]

This may be the most I've ever laughed at a meme. Thank you.

 

[theiacowtipper]

I have a story. I was dispatched for a woman having abdominal pain. Her elderly husband pointed me towards the bathroom. When I get in there I see a 75ish year old woman bent over with four fingers in her butt, digging out feces. She looked up at me and said, "I can’t f....ing shit".

 

[jamesvanderwulf]

Thought this was another thread about the Bears missed FG. My bad, carry on scatologists....

 

[JWolf74]

I have a story. I was dispatched for a woman having abdominal pain. Her elderly husband pointed me towards the bathroom. When I get in there I see a 75ish year old woman bent over with four fingers in her butt, digging out feces. She looked up at me and said, "I can’t f....ing shit".

Manual disimpaction. A drama in 3 parts.

 

[Funky Bunch]

Thought this was another thread about the Bears missed FG. My bad, carry on scatologists....

Technically I think the double doink FG was short not wide

 

[Tmiller99]

I have a story. I was dispatched for a woman having abdominal pain. Her elderly husband pointed me towards the bathroom. When I get in there I see a 75ish year old woman bent over with four fingers in her butt, digging out feces. She looked up at me and said, "I can’t f....ing shit".

Did you get the poor woman a shop vac?

 

[theiacowtipper]

Did you get the poor woman a shop vac?

She wanted me to take her hand and help her to the cot. I said, "let’s wash those hands first". Better. I can blast that pain baby, let me get out the drugs.

 

[h-hawk]

I've heard that sitting further back on the toilet at these times reduces the pain of the passing.

 

[RunRonnieRun]

I like to see how many cups of coffee I can hold it in for.

 

[HeathForrester]

I use mine to make sandwiches.

 

[TombItMayConcern]

Should anal canal enlargement surgery be covered by Medicare?