I have lived in NYC and Iowa. I never felt unsafe in the 2 years I lived in Manhattan. In comparison, when I go home to visit rural Iowa, I'm astounded at how many meth heads and alcoholics I have encountered with entire rooms full of guns that they're convinced they're going to "need" someday. Not sure why or who they plan to shoot, but I don't wanna be anywhere near them when they do. I have never met a single person in NY, MA or CT that owns a gun (I also don't know anyone addicted to meth, coincidence?) and I feel much safer going about my business.
Growing up in Iowa I was often concerned with my physical safety, being called a "fag" "beaner" "queer" "wetback" "homo" countless times over the 16 years I lived there. A classmate told a teacher he hates all gay people and would kill one someday -- the teacher didn't do anything about it. Again, never felt even remotely scared of such a verbal assault since I moved to the east coast 12 years ago. It's great that you feel safer in Iowa than NYC, but I assure you that's b/c of what you look like, how you're perceived, and how you perceive the world.