Are you a real man or a pussy? Lets make a test to find out.

[BABiscuit]

Let's make one of those tests where there is a list of things and you get points assigned for each thing you have done or attribute you have. And don't be a pussy and say shit like tuck your kids into bed or treat your partner with respect. This isn't that kind of thread. We are looking for the qualities that would make @jamesvanderwulf want you to marry his niece.

So real man thing is plus points. Pussy thing is negative points.

Fought 2 people at once and won + 5.

Had a pedi/mani: -5.

Once we have a good set of criteria, we'll make the test. Make sure to like the posts you agree with to help form a consensus. In the end, I'll decide what goes on the list because a real man doesn't ask for the opinions of others.

 

[BelemNole]

Let's make one of those tests where there is a list of things and you get points assigned for each thing you have done or attribute you have. And don't be a pussy and say shit like tuck your kids into bed or treat your partner with respect. This isn't that kind of thread. We are looking for the qualities that would make @jamesvanderwulf want you to marry his niece.

So real man thing is plus points. Pussy thing is negative points.

Fought 2 people at once and won + 5.

Had a pedi/mani: -5.

What if it was 3 gals instead of 2 guys and you're pretty sure you won?
Or if it was just really nice foot rub with lotion and stuff?

 

[TarponSpringsNole]

Let's make one of those tests where there is a list of things and you get points assigned for each thing you have done or attribute you have. And don't be a pussy and say shit like tuck your kids into bed or treat your partner with respect. This isn't that kind of thread. We are looking for the qualities that would make @jamesvanderwulf want you to marry his niece.

So real man thing is plus points. Pussy thing is negative points.

Fought 2 people at once and won + 5.

Had a pedi/mani: -5.

I’ve done both of these. 😂😂























But in the end I’m a little sissy biatch that will bend like a willow in the wind for a real man.

 

[BABiscuit]

What if it was 3 gals instead of 2 guys and you're pretty sure you won?
Or if it was just really nice foot rub with lotion and stuff?

If you can't answer the question right away -2.

Real men don't care whether they actually meet the criteria to get the points.

 

[Fluffles]

A real man uses the more appropriate term, wussy. +5 to Fluffles, for white knighting.

 

[MuscoHawk]

I had a pedi once. It was awesome. ZFG.

Who fights two people at once? That’s just dumb.

 

[mnole03]

The film Nobody is based on my life. +10

 

[BABiscuit]

I’ve done both of these. 😂😂























But in the end I’m a little sissy biatch that will bend like a willow in the wind for a real man.

In your case, I'll let you decide whether you are a real man. I'm a little unclear on what's appropriate here and I want to be inclusive.

Caring about the feelings of others - 5
Admitting there are things I dont know -3

 

[BABiscuit]

A real man uses the more appropriate term, wussy. +5 to Fluffles, for white knighting.

White Knighting in the real world when there is the possibility of bedding the damsel in distress + 3

White knighting on the internet like you are Hawk in Sec Country trying to protect princess Meg. -10

 

[TarponSpringsNole]

In your case, I'll let you decide whether you are a real man. I'm a little unclear on what's appropriate here and I want to be inclusive.

Caring about the feelings of others - 5
Admitting there are things I dont know -3

NOT even close to being a real man. Lol

 

[Finance85]

A real man isn't defined by posts on a message board.

 

[BABiscuit]

NOT even close to being a real man. Lol

Admitting to searching tarpons reddit username and being very confused about the feelings you had when you found the pics. -3

Searching for the pics, never admitting it to anybody, and burying those feelings so deep inside of you that you suddenly cancel a vacation to Florida. +5

 

[BABiscuit]

A real man isn't defined by posts on a message board.

-3

 

[BelemNole]

If you can't answer the question right away -2.

Real men don't care whether they actually meet the criteria to get the points.

Well, it's just hard to answer. They got more licks in, but I touched both their boobs.

 

[alaskanseminole]

If you hang TP like this:

-5 points

If you hang TP like this:

+5 points

If you use this knowing TP is actually for pussies:

+10 points

 

[MepoDawg#]

If you’re questioning the manhood of someone else then we already know the answer about you.

 

[Tenacious E]

Let's make one of those tests where there is a list of things and you get points assigned for each thing you have done or attribute you have. And don't be a pussy and say shit like tuck your kids into bed or treat your partner with respect. This isn't that kind of thread. We are looking for the qualities that would make @jamesvanderwulf want you to marry his niece.

So real man thing is plus points. Pussy thing is negative points.

Fought 2 people at once and won + 5.

Had a pedi/mani: -5.

Once we have a good set of criteria, we'll make the test. Make sure to like the posts you agree with to help form a consensus. In the end, I'll decide what goes on the list because a real man doesn't ask for the opinions of others.

I am definitely in the red. I don't: hunt, own a gun, enjoy fishing, own a pickup truck, or fight or have fought more than one time and that was in junior high. Moreover, I enjoy hitting golf balls, reading, and astronomy. My lack of manliness is somewhat tempered by my former football glory and prowess with weights, but then magnified by my baby soft hands which tear apart in minutes when using a shovel or other manual labor implement.

 

[hawkeyetraveler]

I am definitely in the red. I don't: hunt, own a gun, enjoy fishing, own a pickup truck, or fight or have fought more than one time and that was in junior high. Moreover, I enjoy hitting golf balls, reading, and astronomy. My lack of manliness is somewhat tempered by my former football glory and prowess with weights, but then magnified by my baby soft hands which tear apart in minutes when using a shovel or other manual labor implement.

You are not alone. I have a virtually identical scorecard.

Except I even sucked at football.

 

[SSG T]

Let's make one of those tests where there is a list of things and you get points assigned for each thing you have done or attribute you have. And don't be a pussy and say shit like tuck your kids into bed or treat your partner with respect. This isn't that kind of thread. We are looking for the qualities that would make @jamesvanderwulf want you to marry his niece.

So real man thing is plus points. Pussy thing is negative points.

Fought 2 people at once and won + 5.

Had a pedi/mani: -5.

Once we have a good set of criteria, we'll make the test. Make sure to like the posts you agree with to help form a consensus. In the end, I'll decide what goes on the list because a real man doesn't ask for the opinions of others.

Given the standards then...

Combat +10
Died in combat +1000
Captured -8,000,000
Mansplain to women +100
Mansplain to women a subject they know better than you +200

 

[BABiscuit]

If you’re questioning the manhood of someone else then we already know the answer about you.

Using the correct you're/your and then/than in the same sentence. -1

Assuming you know the answer based on an HROT thread. +2

 

[Tenacious E]

Using the correct you're/your and then/than in the same sentence. -1

Assuming you know the answer based on an HROT thread. +2

If you use "well" and "good" correctly in conversation, -500; but, you can be my friend.

 

[UNIowaHawk]

But in the end I’m a little sissy biatch that will bend like a willow in the wind for a real man.

Pic?

 

[BeepBeepInMyJeep]

+7 Two chicks at the same time

 

[millah_22]

Deace style basement

 

[Tenacious E]

Deace style basement

or looking like Deace -1,000

 

[millah_22]

or looking like Deace -1,000

Ya but he wears cargo shorts +69

 

[GES4]

Let's make one of those tests where there is a list of things and you get points assigned for each thing you have done or attribute you have. And don't be a pussy and say shit like tuck your kids into bed or treat your partner with respect. This isn't that kind of thread. We are looking for the qualities that would make @jamesvanderwulf want you to marry his niece.

So real man thing is plus points. Pussy thing is negative points.

Fought 2 people at once and won + 5.

Had a pedi/mani: -5.

Once we have a good set of criteria, we'll make the test. Make sure to like the posts you agree with to help form a consensus. In the end, I'll decide what goes on the list because a real man doesn't ask for the opinions of others.

Cargo shorts, white new balance and white socks. Plus infinity.

 

[BABiscuit]

Given the standards then...

Combat +10
Died in combat +1000
Captured -8,000,000
Mansplain to women +100
Mansplain to women a subject they know better than you +200

Can we clarify captured?

We need a sliding scale based on how much torture you received before giving up any intel

0 to 60 days -8000
60 days to 1 year - 4000
1 year to 10 years - 1000
10+ years - 5
Never gave it up + 10
Killed your superior in a fight to the death on a bridge above a snake pit even though you were about to be saved and could have shown mercy +1000

 

[millah_22]

Cargo shorts, white new balance and white socks. Plus infinity.

Dad strength

 

[BABiscuit]

Cargo shorts, white new balance and white socks. Plus infinity.

I can get behind cargo shorts. Real men don't GAF that some little bitch fashion committee decided cargo shorts are out. Real men like pockets.

Still wear cargo shorts to activities that don't require the carrying of excessive cargo. +5

 

[Tenacious E]

I can get behind cargo shorts. Real men don't GAF that some little bitch fashion committee decided cargo shorts are out. Real men like pockets.

Still wear cargo shorts to activities that don't require the carrying of excessive cargo. +5

BABiscuit on the golf course: Number tees in his lower right thigh pocket? 27. Number of golf balls in his left upper thigh pocket? 5. Numbers of f*cks given? 0.

 

[GES4]

I can get behind cargo shorts. Real men don't GAF that some little bitch fashion committee decided cargo shorts are out. Real men like pockets.

Still wear cargo shorts to activities that don't require the carrying of excessive cargo. +5

Real men don't need cargo shorts because utility belt and tactical vest.

 

[NDallasRuss]

I've:

driven a truck
ridden a horse (with, and without, saddle)
planted crops (full disclosure: <1 acre)
played HS football
played in three softball leagues at once
shot a gun (inc. automatic)
smoked
drank
gambled
swore
worn boots (and a cowboy hat, on occasion)
smoke a brisket (WAY better than Lincoln Riley!)
gotten tattoos
piloted a boat
fished
been camping without a tent or other shelter
performed my own minor home repairs
performed my own minor car maintenance and repairs
I cut my own hair
eat steak medium rare, and
held my father's hand while he died.

Assess your man points accordingly.

Now, after you've got that score, consider the following:

I was the one who had to explain to the daughter what a bra was for (we were out shopping together when she asked)
I've gone to the store by myself to buy feminine products (not for my own use)
I've seen close to 20 musicals and maybe a dozen operas
I use hand and body lotion that's like $50/bottle
I have probably 15 pairs of shoes - only 2 pr of which are tennis shoes
I spend a lot of time and money feeding birds
My list of favorite movies would include Knotting Hill and My Best Friend's Wedding
I've seen Macklemore in concert and enjoyed it
I once drove a LeBaron convertible
Women will take me shopping because I'm good at picking out clothes for them
I like cooking, and I'm pretty decent at it
I like going to fancy restaurants with lots of courses of tiny little food
I've never been hunting, and
I haven't been in a fight since middle school (you get to be big enough, and if it isn't your personality to start fights, you're not the one that other people tend to pick fights with...)

So, net out all of the things that would likely get me negative points, and I figure I'm probably right around zero, which is cool with me!

 

[thewop]

Vegetarian: -5
Vegan: -10
Likes craft beer: +1
Beard: +5
Likes craft beer and has beard: -10

 

[GES4]

I've:

driven a truck
ridden a horse (with, and without, saddle)
planted crops (full disclosure: <1 acre)
played HS football
played in three softball leagues at once
shot a gun (inc. automatic)
smoked
drank
gambled
swore
worn boots (and a cowboy hat, on occasion)
smoke a brisket (WAY better than Lincoln Riley!)
gotten tattoos
piloted a boat
fished
been camping without a tent or other shelter
performed my own minor home repairs
performed my own minor car maintenance and repairs
I cut my own hair
eat steak medium rare, and
held my father's hand while he died.

Assess your man points accordingly.

Now, after you've got that score, consider the following:

I was the one who had to explain to the daughter what a bra was for (we were out shopping together when she asked)
I've gone to the store by myself to buy feminine products (not for my own use)
I've seen close to 20 musicals and maybe a dozen operas
I use hand and body lotion that's like $50/bottle
I have probably 15 pairs of shoes - only 2 pr of which are tennis shoes
I spend a lot of time and money feeding birds
My list of favorite movies would include Knotting Hill and My Best Friend's Wedding
I've seen Macklemore in concert and enjoyed it
I once drove a LeBaron convertible
Women will take me shopping because I'm good at picking out clothes for them
I like cooking, and I'm pretty decent at it
I like going to fancy restaurants with lots of courses of tiny little food
I've never been hunting, and
I haven't been in a fight since middle school (you get to be big enough, and if it isn't your personality to start fights, you're not the one that other people tend to pick fights with...)

So, net out all of the things that would likely get me negative points, and I figure I'm probably right around zero, which is cool with me!

I'm willing to forgive and forget that entire list except for the LeBaron. Pussy.

 

[BABiscuit]

BABiscuit on the golf course: Number tees in his lower right thigh pocket? 27. Number of golf balls in his left upper thigh pocket? 5. Numbers of f*cks given? 0.

Souse vide is probably going to hurt our score. At least the superior cooking method ensures we won't accidentally get the over cooking points

Cooks steak in a plastic bag placed in a container of warm water. -10

Cooks steak beyond medium rare on purpose because thats what they like -20

Cooks beyond medium rare because they can't cook a steak properly -10

 

[Tenacious E]

Souse vide is probably going to hurt our score. At least the superior cooking method ensures we won't accidentally get the over cooking points

Cooks steak in a plastic bag placed in a container of warm water. -10

Cooks steak beyond medium rare on purpose because thats what they like -20

Cooks beyond medium rare because they can't cook a steak properly -10

You get a +10 for the gratuitous "e" in "souse". Shows you appreciate the method of cooking, but you aren't going to dignify it with correct spelling.* I would say I not only take a big hit cooking sous vide, but also using a pellet grill, I mean outdoor convection oven. I think I do make up some points though using the Blackstone/outdoor griddle.


*I keed I keed. I really am not an asshole I'm just feeling plucky today.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Watching Hallmark Channel with wife Negative 50 points.

Tolerating wifey watching Hallmark channel in another room so you can watch Sports or dumb comedies downstairs unbothered plus 10 points.

 

[ping72]

Will eat ass +5

Has never slept with OP’s mom -100

 

[SSG T]

Can we clarify captured?

We need a sliding scale based on how much torture you received before giving up any intel

0 to 60 days -8000
60 days to 1 year - 4000
1 year to 10 years - 1000
10+ years - 5
Never gave it up + 10
Killed your superior in a fight to the death on a bridge above a snake pit even though you were about to be saved and could have shown mercy +1000

Well, McCain was evidently the biggest pussy in history, so whatever he did qualifies for the 8m in the red.