I meant to add this to the above.
I’ll give you a little example.
A few months ago at my son’s soccer game I’m standing next to a parent I’ve become pretty good friends with (he’s black). He called a black player by the wrong name and I responded with, “Don’t you mean, Melvin?” He said, “Well, you know we all look alike” and we both laughed.
Well, at our last game he did it again with a different player and I said, “Man, I guess you guys do all look alike.” …and we laughed. Now, I have to just assume it was okay that I made the comment in jest, but if another parent overheard me say that, I doubt it would have gone over well.