Could you find a new job in Kansas that doesn't require you to move?
Commuting/Working Out of State vs Moving Family in High School
- Thread starter Urohawk
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Could you find a new job in Kansas that doesn't require you to move?
Another possible option to at least buy time for the oldest to graduate. Since it will take 1-2 years for your present employer to replace you and make your replacement profitable......let them know you are leaving too much money on the table and are willing to stay due to the kids but you will need more.
So now I see the math. There is no wrong or right answer. We moved to Iowa going into 9th grade. Sucked and I hated my parents for a while because of it. But then I did pretty well with sports and such in Iowa and had a lot of success. Went to the university if Iowa a couple of times for different degrees and have carved out a nice life here. With that being said, I dont have the lifelong friends like my wife has as I had to start over. But then again a different person might have made more friends along the way. If I was you, and if I liked KC and the family likes KC, I’d nose around for a private practice opportunity there. In the unlikely event everyone is ready for a change then go with Tx.
You're a surgeon? I guess it depends on your situation then. I'm guessing you are fairly comfortable in your living situation and aren't living paycheck to paycheck so more money wouldn't necessarily mean a huge change in your standard of living. Maybe you can afford a vacation home, but it's not like surgeons or Doctors get massive amounts of vacation time. So, unless there is some other reason to move to this new area I'm not sure it would be worth it. It doesn't sound like your family would be on board with it which would make it very difficult. Now, if you don't like the people you are working with then maybe a move is necessary.
That said, since you are a profession that is in very high demand, I don't think you have to worry too much about "burning bridges" as if the move didn't work out you would be able to find work somewhere else pretty easily. You might need to move again though. On the other hand, waiting for the kids to get through high school, if that is only 3-5 years, there will be other opportunities for you down the road as well.
And I'm sure nothing I mentioned isn't something you haven't thought about already but you asked for opinions so there it is.
That's a recipe to have your current employer buy time until it can find somebody as a long term answer to somebody with a foot already out the door
Possibly.....with a 1-2 year time to get someone up and profitable.....I wouldn't think they would be too quick to give the OP the boot. Bad business.
Wisdom. ^^ Someone once told me that no one reaches retirement age and says, "I wished I would have worked harder...". But many wish that they had spent more time with family. FWIW.
Pic of lonely wife and exactly which days of the week you'll be in Tejas... 
You view all of Texas as a shithole, or just the town/city they were asking you to move to?
Obviously it’s a big state and there are some nice areas. I’ve spent a ton of time in Houston, less so in San Antonio and Dallas. Austin seems ok.
But the politics, the “Texan” arrogance, the awful weather, and the overall ugliness of the state were enough to make me a hard no.
Sounds like an easy no to me. Time with your family is much more valuable. Jobs are just that - jobs.
Totally left out piece of critical information. I have a terrible non-compete clause. I can't work anywhere in the KCmetro. Closet job I can take is 1 hour away. At the time it made sense as it was non-negotiable with the job and my wife and I agreed that we would move if one of us had to change jobs. Obviously a few things have changed 15 years later.
That's an interesting variable.
My recommendation is to stay in your current position for another year and see how it goes.
It may get better or it may get worse. See how you feel a year from now.
Wow.
What business are you in? Where in Europe did you go?
I've been to Spain and Ukraine.
Unless your kids are somewhat unhappy in their schools, there is a 0.0% chances i would move. Acclimating to new schools as an 8th grader and senior would be terrible. Like if they didn't care about their schools, fine, but 0% chances I'd move them if they are doing well, involved in extracurriculars and have a good friend group. 0%. I think once you hit middle school it's very challenging to move.
hawkeyetraveler
HB Heisman
Not 10 million thankfully…didn’t do the Asia gig long enough for that.
I don’t have kids, but to me, the kids “feelings” should not be high on the list of considerations when it comes to things like this. They’ll be adults someday and will eventually understand if this is the right move for the family. Need to toughen up these punk ass kids, they’re soft! 😎
Kids feelings in a family already in the top economic bracket should literally be the first and top consideration.
If you had kids....and were a decent parent....their consideration would matter.
It would be a whole different story if this move were a must for the needs of the family.....sounds like it's not a "must".
As a kid my parents had to move a bit for job related reasons. Can’t say I always enjoyed the moves from a school perspective; however, looking back on it, I think it made me become more social as I had to find different friendships.
Agree to disagree I guess. Tomorrow’s not promised. You have an opportunity to increase your income 2-3x, that is a significant raise and should not be taken lightly. What if op has an accident and suddenly loses his ability to perform his job 3-4 years down the road? That extra coin will come in handy navigating his next phase of life. I’m just saying kids should not be the top consideration in my opinion.
If your kids are happy and have positive friend groups, I would just stay where you are until they are out of the house. As both you and your wife are physicians, you are already obviously very comfortable financially. Make a plan with your wife as to where you both may want to relocate to in the future and consider it then. There will be waves of physicians retiring in upcoming years and plenty of opportunity.
Ive seen a marriage fail in this situation. In this case it was only 2 hours between family and 2nd home.
Could have been more to it than the move though.
Your wife doesn't wanna move out of Kansas?
What part of Texas?
Based on the kids ages they should be fine. The one in 8th grade may not like it but starting as a freshman in HS isn't as bad as doing it when they're a junior or senior. Is part time an option so you don't have to pull kids mid year then full time starting in the summer/move the family then?
What part of Texas?
Based on the kids ages they should be fine. The one in 8th grade may not like it but starting as a freshman in HS isn't as bad as doing it when they're a junior or senior. Is part time an option so you don't have to pull kids mid year then full time starting in the summer/move the family then?
If I’m reading this right, you have a college senior and HS senior and an 8th grader. I’m in a fairly similar spot (college Jr, HS Sr, 8th grader) and have turned down good offers that require moving…..but if you could get the start date to be after the school year ends, it might not be terrible. College senior is about to start their own life, HS senior presumably about to go off to college and if you’re going to move anytime in the teenage years, right before HS starts is the best time, as multiple schools generally feed to a HS, so everyone is new to a certain extent.
That said, reading between the lines (unless you said and I missed it), your wife must be an OB, so I can understand the no-go for Texas at this point. If it were me, I’d probably pass if your wife wants to continue to work.
How long is your non-compete? 1yr? Is your wife bound by one too?
If you and your wife like KC this could be an opportunity to squash the non compete. One possibility is to take the commute option with the plan of coming back to KC to a different employer when the non compete expires.
You could also have the wife and kids visit you in TX and get a feel if that is somewhere they would like to live.
Might be worth a few bucks to have an employment law lawyer review your contract to make sure it is enforceable. The only time I was ever under a non-compete my gf (now wife) reviewed it and said it was not enforceable in Iowa. Didn't really matter because I didn't hate the job but hated the location.
Wow. Spending lots of time in Houston explains a lot about why you feel the way you do.
UroHawk may be considering a position in Houston or Dallas because they truly do have “world class” medical facilities and research institutions which have drawn so many top notch Doctors and researchers. I am not a huge fan of Houston but there are some beautiful neighborhoods as well as top notch school districts.
Dallas has some spectacular neighborhoods and housing options too. School districts in those areas are also excellent. Kids from homes with two parents who have college degrees and are professionals tend to be achievers and their parents demand school quality.
Uprooting teens is the single biggest challenge to moving. My son and daughter moved with us five times and toughed it out but at some point you want to give them consistency.
As for politics, what you read in the press is always overblown, but it’s understandable. If someone offered me a fabulous job in Cali I couldn’t do it because of the high taxes, the cost of living and what I see as ultra progressive state government.
We didn’t regret at all not moving the kids to Canada.
After watching parents sacrifice for their kids. THEY WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOU IF YOU ARE MARRIED TO THE MOM.
To be fair, the people who might say, "I wish I would have worked harder" never actually get to retire.
Is it Texas that is the issue, or is it moving at all? I can see why Texas would be an issue, especially if you have daughters. That would be a hard no for me too.
I'd also be super hesitant to leave my kids half the week during high school if they are involved in anything. You are going to miss out on a lot of the last few years you have them home.
I'd also be super hesitant to leave my kids half the week during high school if they are involved in anything. You are going to miss out on a lot of the last few years you have them home.
Meh. Not unless you were someone whose daughters got pregnant time after time.
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