Commuting/Working Out of State vs Moving Family in High School

[goldmom]

Where is that a saying? No one says that. The poor don't say it because they know what poor looks like, and the rich don't because they know they are well off.

I'm guessing my three kids cost roughly the same anyone else's three kids and somehow my non-doctor no-pic and non-doctor me are still able to put together a pretty comfortable life.

It’s an old saying. Maybe Google it.
I manage to have a decent life and I don’t live on a six figure income either. I don’t envy those who have high incomes because most have worked hard and deserve what they make.
Thinly disguised envy and resentment are just mystifying to me.

 

[IANDFAN]

I sure did. Lived there before the SC said states should decide. But like anyone with a brain I used birth control. I wasn’t raped by my father or uncle or an assailant and I didn’t need a termination of a pregnancy. And none of those would have affected my rights anyway. My rights are just like a man’s rights.
Have you missed all my posts indicating I’m strongly pro-choice?

Weren’t we talking about Texas and not you?

 

[Urohawk]

No one said OP and his wife didn't earn anything they have, but I would imagine they have a combined household income north of $500K, given the ages of their kids. If you're into your late 40s or 50s given that set up and are not rich, something is wrong.

We are doing fine financially. I am the kid of a factory worker and a first time college grad who then divorced. Divorce is a terrible consumer of wealth and destroys people's upward financial mobilty. I struggled when my kid asked us if we were rich. I don't struggle with that any more. I tell them straight up- I am rich. However, you are poor. I think it's important for them to realize how I used to live and how most of America lives.

Again, the only reason I would consider Texas is a combination of working less, my future coworkers are good friends from over the last 20 years (imagine being in business with your high school/college buddies assuming they were good businessmen), and the pay increase. To be crystal clear, I don't need more money. The benefit of commuting is the pay increase allows me to work part time and likely spend more quality time with family.

 

[swagsurfer02]

To expand on my earlier post. I would never move for a job.

Businesses and practices change. Circumstances change. I’ve seen too many people move for a great opportunity, then the company merges, or the CEO changes and replaces the C suite, or something else…then you’ve uprooted your family for nothing.

This is almost exactly what happened to me. I’m currently in an Air B&B in Phoenix. Role changed and I’m just going with it for now.

 

[littlez]

This is the sort of thing I was looking for. I think people mistook me for asking what to do. I was more asking what their experiences were if they did it.

I hear you. Part of this is the part time aspect means I would be home 3-4 days of the week with no additional work on the days I am home so I'd be more present.

So I’m a Kansas City guy. Assuming you’re in the Kansas suburbs. Which with the money you 2 are making is nice. Are your kids involved at school? Sports, theatre, etc? I wouldn’t have missed the games and activities of my kids for anything. And can’t imagine trying to make new friends in high school. So sounds like that’s out. But, if you’re home full time 3-4 days and the travel is part time that’s certainly a tough call.

 

[goldmom]

Weren’t we talking about Texas and not you?

Why yes…yes we were…as a woman. Did you forget that?

 

[hawkedoff]

My husband was promoted to CEO of his company’s Canadian subsidiary when my son was a HS junior and daughter was in 8th grade.
We LOVED living in “shithole” Texas in an A+ rated school district and no way were we moving to Toronto even though it’s a nice place.
He commuted and the company flew him home every Friday and had him picked up Monday morning - he often flew on the company jet. They rented a condo in a high rise for him two blocks from his office.
Obviously it was a significant financial gain for him but leaving me to raise teenagers by myself all week was a challenge. We all survived and my adult children turned out to be good people.

I think the difference for most people is that for your husband to be in the position to be promoted to a role like that he and your entire family were already compromising and sacrificing together to accommodate the demands of his professional life. Most people are not in that position and do not understand the demands on a CEO or CEO adjacent position.

Most people should not chase money if their current position is secure unless the entire family is willing to absorb the change. It does come back to a fundamental values question and the trade offs needed to make the kind of money that truly is life altering. If the change isnt going to dramatically improve your life and the kids are in high school why make the change. The 30 percent more isn't that significant in truth especially if you are already financially secure. So the job itself better be something worth your family. Most jobs arent.

 

[hawkedoff]

So I’m a Kansas City guy. Assuming you’re in the Kansas suburbs. Which with the money you 2 are making is nice. Are your kids involved at school? Sports, theatre, etc? I wouldn’t have missed the games and activities of my kids for anything. And can’t imagine trying to make new friends in high school. So sounds like that’s out. But, if you’re home full time 3-4 days and the travel is part time that’s certainly a tough call.

Agree with you on this. I have made those decisions and missed things. It sure has resulted in a financial position for my family that is nice but the trade offs are significant. I made it to 80 percent of things but the 20 percent matters more than you think.

My wife looked at me once and said you have missed your sons birthday the last 4 years for work. I didn't think it mattered because we always celebrated it no matter what. She was right and I didn't miss another birthday for any of the kids even if we didn't celebrate that day.

The money is nice but what is money for again?

 

[IANDFAN]

Why yes…yes we were…as a woman. Did you forget that?

I didn’t, you’re the one that started to talk about something else.

 

[cfbfan23]

The money is nice but what is money for again?

 

[goldmom]

I didn’t, you’re the one that started to talk about something else.

🙃

 

[Bearhawk0505]

Urohawk has to be laughing at some of these numbers people are throwing around on here. He is a surgeon and his wife is a physician. I would be very surprised if they are not close to a million per year income, maybe more. HORT must not be aware of how much physicians are making. Many surgeons in IC/CR make over a million themselves.